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True Blood – Radioactive

- by in Headline

Well, it’s the finale. Finally. Another shit show of a season in the can. Congrats, fellow viewers for not stabbing yourselves in the eyeballs. I know it was especially hard this season, with so much not happening and the ridiculous things that did happen testing all my patience. I really have to question the execs […]

True Blood – Life Matters

- by in Headline

Breaking Bad came back for it’s final episodes last night, which makes watching the campy drivel of True Blood that much harder. True Blood is the soap opera for the spooky set, an ongoing, ridiculous saga, full of eye rollingly bad writing, plot lines that give me gas and characters more transparent than a jelly […]

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True Blood – Dead Meat

- by in Headline

Eric is still butt hurt that Nora turned into slushie and takes it out on Billith. Their cat fight gets them no where and Eric runs off to leave Billith to save the vamps. We get another cat fight with the Redneck Furries when that wolf bitch challenges Alcide as pack master. Of course Alcide […]

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True Blood – In the Evening

- by in Headline

Let’s cut to the chase, Jessica gets boned in this episode, but leaves her bra on. Who does that? Eric makes his daring escape with Nora and sends baby vamp Willa to warn Pam about the Hep V ploy. Eric asks Billith for help curing Nora but she doesn’t want it. Then she drinks some […]

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True Blood – Don’t You Feel Me

- by in Headline

First, the important stuff. While Jessica takes her shirt off in this episode, she’s still wearing a bra. No boobs for you. Explain to me again why Sookie can’t use her GODDAMN FAIRY POWERS against Lafayette but Barlow can? That. Was. Stupid. Sookie, you’re always wondering why monsters and bad people are coming after you […]

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True Blood – F the Pain Away

- by in Entertainment, Headline

In our continuing story “Everyone Wants to Eat Sookie”, Billith show’s up at Sookie’s and commands Warlow to come with him, as his maker. Huh. So Billith isn’t a flaccid do-nothing afterall. And then we get to see some museum diorama scenes from Warlow’s past. Jessica has eater’s remorse and is high on fairy blood. […]

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True Blood – At Last

- by in Headline

I was re-watching The Avengers this weekend and it occurs to me that Stellan Skarsgård is batting 500 when it comes to attractive offspring. He himself is looking a bit like Gollum these days, tho back in the day he did have a striking resemblance to Alexander, our beloved Eric Northman. Bill, however, star of […]

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True Blood – You’re No Good

- by in Entertainment, Headline

Okay, so now Billith can see the future and he has to save ALL OF THEM FROM THE TRUE DEATH. Ahahaha, the bitch caught fire! I guess you’re faith wasn’t enough, dumbass. So he sends Jessica to get some scientist to SYNTHESIZE Sookie’s blood to….. That’s a good question, why DOES Warlo want your blood? […]

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True Blood – The Sun

- by in Entertainment, Headline

I would really appreciate it if HBO would make the opening credits shorter. It’s been six seasons, we get it, we know the song. It’s one more thing I have to fast forward through to get to the shit sandwich that is this show. Rutger Hower is NOT Warlow, but is Jason and Sookie’s fairy […]

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True Blood – Who Are You Really?

- by in Blue Blood, Headline

Look, there are people who like “True Blood”. I don’t know who they are, or why exactly, but they MUST exist or this show wouldn’t STILL be on the air. THESE reviews are not for THOSE people. Some kind of schadenfreude compels me to continue watching and writing so let’s settle in for yet another […]

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