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Stories written by Will Judy

Game of Thrones, Season 5, Episode 47: The Gift, or Gift Also Means Poison

- by in Headline, Popcorn

Mother of shit, last week’s episode of HBO’s Game of Thrones was heinous. I’d rather have a pig fart in my mouth than watch that again. Luckily we have this week’s episode to enjoy. In the blue-filtered frozone of Castle Black, Jon Snow is saddling up to ride northward on another of this season’s “sensitive […]

Game of Thrones, Season 5, Episode 46: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken, or No Plan Survives Contact With the Enemy

- by in Headline, Popcorn

We open in the corpse-washing station at Project Mayhem, where Arya is getting good at her job. Enough so to get bored with it and start issuing demands. She wants to play the game again, and her mean ginger supervisor obliges. The game has one rule, and it’s that Arya doesn’t win. (She was lying, […]

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Game of Thrones, Season 5, Episode 45: Kill the Boy, or Else

- by in Headline, Popcorn

I’ll have you ingrates know that I am ignoring the 3rd period of a very close and crucial semi-final hockey game so I can recap this god damned nonsense for you in real time. I only mention this because I know that GRRM is a New York sports homer and it might actually mean something […]

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Game of Thrones, Season 5, Episode 44: Sons of the Harpy, or I Hate to Say I Told You So

- by in Headline, Popcorn

Our new episode of Game of Thrones begins with the next stage of Tyrion’s journey, which involves Jorah dry-gulching some poor fisherman and stealing his livelihood (nice tip). Jorah’s a prick and is making sure that Tyrion knows it. On another boat, Jaime gets an unexpected view of Brienne’s old home, and a grilling from […]

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Game of Thrones, Season 5, Episode 43: High Sparrow, or I am Nobody, Who Are You?

- by in Happenings, Popcorn

We open our new episode of Game of Thrones in the dark stony confines of Project Mayhem, where a girl is doing the novice’s duty of pointlessly sweeping floors until she’s about to lose her shit. A man teaches a girl. The Faceless Men appear to be an ascetic monotheist sect, and euthanasia is part […]

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Game of Thrones, Season 5, Episode 42, The House of Black and White, or Shades of Greyscale

- by in Headline, Images, Popcorn

Facebook has been adding the On This Day feature to my feed lately, which is occasionally funny. This morning it burped up this gem from four years ago: “Watched Game of Thrones. Never read the books, zero weight of expectation. So: Revolting men killing stuff, plotting evil and treating women like shit. Also anyone half […]

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Game of Thrones, Season 5, Episode 41, The Wars to Come or What Fresh Hell is This?

- by in Headline, Images, Popcorn

Slosh out the Dornish and drop your linen, it’s time for season 5 of Game of Thrones. This is the season we run out of book, so I will be retiring the NITB designation. NITB is the new normal folks. Embrace it. We open with a pair of tween girls being disobedient in the woods, […]

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Game of Thrones S4 E40: The Children, or Happy Father’s Day

- by in Headline, Popcorn

Our finale episode of Game of Thrones opens with Jon Snow tramping out into the enemy’s camp for a parlay. It’s a dour reunion, fermented mare’s milk cocktails notwithstanding, and negotiations are going pretty badly when Stannis and his newly bought army sluice into the woods and start shredding Mance’s Chancers. Stannis might have sent […]

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Game of Thrones S4 E38: The Mountain and the Viper, or You’re Fighting THAT?

- by in Headline, Popcorn

Our latest episode of Game of Thrones opens in a dark, muddy shithole village, and leads us to the filthy whorehovel where Gilly does the washing up. And gets drunkenly abused for being a Wildling. Why is everyone so mean about Wildlings? Well, the raiding and slaughtering is kind of off-putting. Luckily Ginger has a […]

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Game of Thrones S4 E37: Mockingbird, or Brothers and Sisters Will Raise a Few Blisters

- by in Headline, Popcorn

Our new episode of Game of Thrones begins with Jaime and Tyrion recapping the last scene of the last ep. They agree that things could have gone better, but at least they screwed Tywin over. Tyrion’s leaning towards self pity, and the jokes are getting meaner and less funny. At least he’s aware of it. […]

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