Problems only Goths have!

I found this a while back and saved it. Thought I'd post it here...

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PROBLEMS ONLY GOTHS HAVE

Trying to get blacks that match after they fade in the wash (damn blue/black and brown/black)

Trying to convince the drunk frat boy who is hitting on you that really are a guy.

Big hair, small cars. (This goes right along with big hats and big skirts).

Airport metal detectors..."Hang on, just let me unbuckle my boots...”

The "Shoes, then corset" dilemma.

Having your little sister nick your make-up.

Living with a slightly homophobic father.

Going to a school which nicknames you "that gay devil worshipping freak that dyed his hair purple".

Getting your jewelry tangled in your clothes/hair (or, even worse, getting them tangled in the clothes/hair of someone else)

People ask "what's so funny and what prescription are you on?"

When your pointy toe shoes/boots get caught in the holes in the hem of your skirt.

Wearing a black turtleneck when it's 90 degrees outside.

Accidentally removing someone's nose with your spiky bracelet while dancing to Nemesis.

Getting people to look you in the eyes when you talk to them.

Getting your slave bracelet caught in your fishnets.

Unconsciously staring and having people try to look you in the eye to get your attention -- which doesn't always work.

People declaring that your eyes are yellow, when, in fact, they are green.

Having to reach for the salt with one hand while holding back your sleeve with the other so it doesn't drag in the gravy.

Trying to find your possessions in an all black room.

Finding your coat in the pile on the bed after a party.

Trying to get the hair-dye stains out of your towels / sink / floors / doors / ceilings / carpets / pets / furniture.

Being asked to defend your entire existence in 30 seconds or less.

Finding a detergent to get those blacks blacker.

Thoroughly embarrassing yourself by finding that fog makes you so bouncy you have to sing along to your walkman, before you realize that fog also means that you can't see the people nearby.

Having little kids tug on their parent's arm and say, "Look, Mommy, isn't she pretty? I want to look like her!" while the parents grab the child and leg it.

Trying to wash dishes with those flowy sleeves.

Having someone try to pick you up, just so they can tell their friends they've had sex with you.

Going out in the winter and having all the metal stuff you are wearing freeze against your exposed skin.

Returning home the next day after clubbing, on a train full of businessmen.

Getting your skirt caught on:
...the buckles of your boots when you are walking up stairs
...part of the seat-adjustment-thingamie in the car
...your heels while walking.
...the outside of the door of your car while you're driving, and you don't notice till you get where you were going, only to find when you get there that a portion of your outfit is now caked with road slime.

Lending your eyeliner to a friend and finding out later that he's returned it without mentioning that he completely emptied the entire brand new tube.

Trying to buy mundane clothes to go job hunting in and not being able to bring yourself to buy anything with enough colour.

The salt stains on the hems of skirts in winter.

Not being able to climb really small stairs because the pointy toes on your pixie boots stick out past your toes enough that you can't get your actual toes on the steps.

Trying to stand up and getting the hooks on your left boot caught in the fishnets on your right leg. And managing to look graceful while extricating yourself.

Dancing in a corset.

Attempting to explain Goth to someone who has no familiarity with any reference you manage to come up with.

Driving in a rather large cloak.

Getting other peoples black eyeliner smudges on your face from greeting hugs at the club.

Having to wash black lipstick off of your neck.

Wearing 24 rings and getting them all stuck in various bits of lace and fishnet (not all of it yours).

Having to rush out of bed the moment you wake up just so you can get to the bank / store / whatever before it closes.

Convincing someone that you are straight even though you are wearing a skirt and makeup.

Convincing your sister to let you use her makeup because you are too broke/cheap to buy your own.

Trying to find women's clothes that fit you without it looking too obvious that that is what you are trying to do.

Wearing that ultra-cool pewter cross you just bought to the club spinning around and knocking yourself silly...then trying to cover your dizziness and nonchalantly checking your forehead for blood while still dancing.

Finding that your freshly washed black t-shirt is covered in bits of lint, which while undetectable by the naked eye, show up very well under UV, thereby making you appear to have terminal dandruff.

Waking up at with the most painful hangover ever. Walking to the little store to get aspirin, thinking "Damn even my feet hurt like hell". Then realizing that your wearing someone else's Doc's.

After using your black eyeliner pencil as a lip liner and getting lipstick on it, coming back and fixing your eyeliner w/ the same pencil, thus creating a big black oily smudge where a nice angled black line should be.

Trying to find food you can eat without messing up your lipstick. French fries are good for that.

Having to tell your clothes apart by fabric only, basically: "Bring me that black shirt." "Uh, which black shirt?"

Trying to get seated so that the eye that you did just right will be the one facing outward.

Wanting to go and play out in the rain but fearing it'll ruin your hair.

Being unable to decide which rings look best over the black lace gloves.

Fearing your sharply filed nails will ruin your mesh shirt!

Realizing your next cat better have black fur, as it's getting trying ripping off the fur from all of your clothes with scotch tape.

Finding that your cape gets in the way of your cleaning tools when going to work at the graveyard.

Getting a sunburn right through your t-shirt due to the fact that you are very pale from not seeing much daylight (prefer to stay up at night and sleep during day).

Trying to ride a bicycle with a long black skirt (or, even worse, a chiffon skirt-preferably one of those “shredded"-style ones)

Trying to ride a bicycle without reminding the people you pass of Miss Almira Gulch, forcing them to hum the wicked witch theme from The Wizard of Oz.

Trying to type with your lace gloves on.

Religion: while everybody still thinks you are a Devil-worshipper despite all your explanations... especially if you tell them you are Pagan...
Other Pagans/Wiccans don't take you seriously because of what you look like. (In the end, nobody really understands)

In school... how can one draw and draw and draw in one's sketchbook at boring lectures without attracting the teacher's attention with one's jingling bracelets... (It's a very scary situation when you notice suddenly that it's the only sound in the whole classroom and the teach stares at you with a look that will guarantee you not to pass the course...)

To like some Goth metal bands and not to be confused with the "ordinary" (especially Blackmetal) metal fans, who tend to be about 100 times dumber than the average Goths?

To keep your white makeup on at gigs, hot summer festivals etc.

Not noticing that you might have fresh black/dark stains on your clothes until they mess up everything non-black around you.

For girls: menstrual blood doesn't show that well on black panties, so you might not notice your period's began before it's too late!

Accidentally kicking things and having parts fly off because you're wearing steel toes boots.

Brushing against walls and having chips fly off because of your spiked bracelet.

Needing to be specially dodged in group photos with normals so you can all be seen clearly.

Waking up late for that Sunday gig, and having to finish dressing up at the subway, trying to put on your 20 hole Doc's while running up the stairs and getting your fishnet/skirt caught on the seat or door.

Having to avoid potential self-mutilation after just finishing filing one's nails to a point.

Freezing your toes in your steel cap shoes in the winter.

When it's cold, your nose will be red no matter how much make-up you have on.

Trying to explain to people that the scars up and down your arms are actually from your cat.

The extensive hair loss caused from bleaching and re-bleaching hair.

Trying to find a soap that will remove the purple hair dye stains from your hands and face.

Flicking trough a magazine or a newspaper with velvet gloves on.

(For net-Goths only) Trying to tell someone that you admire their footwear without making it sound like a come-on.

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Feel free to add your own...

Explaining that your Nazi fetish doesn't mean you're a faschist. (no one ever belives you)

Explaing Noise Music.

Enduring hte odd looks of peopel who ask you "Are you some kind of Vampire" when you answer with "I wish!"

Braving "The Store That Shall Not Be Named" only becasue they're the only local (ugh mall ) store that carries Lip Service.

Trying to get a regular job with your unique style to support your unique style. And record shops pay for shit.

For Fla Goths - getting caught in sudden downpours. Also applies to England residents.

Relising that even black cats shed grey and white fur.

Upside- getting gressed in the dark everything still matches. Downside- you will enter in to a light source eventually and the faded blacks will no longer match. Downside 2- lacing knee high boots in the dark isn't as easy as it sounds.

Military surplus attendants will follow you around the store. Actually this applies to ALL store attendants.


I'm tapped for the night. more later.

K

dressing up as a clown, and being mistaken for a goth...

...FREE KEIKO!!! (why are you trapped?)

err buster... i said Tapped as in tapped out, not trapped.

k

Trying not to have a wardrobe malfunction(read:booby falling out..and it's happened before)while getting out of a cab while, trying not to dislodge a ponyfall, break a nail, break a heel or show the general public my ass.

Braving (to steal from Keiko since I have a feeling we're talking the same thing) the "Store that shall not be Named" for something smallish and cheap only to be gawked at by squealing 13 year olds. And all I wanted was a goddamn pair of fishnets.

Having to explain why pale face make up would just look stupid on me. :rolleyes:

Saving my pennies for ass stomping boots only to find they do not come small enough to fit my feet.

Popping my fingernails (they are quite long and pointy usually) through lace, fishnet, mesh, fancy tights, skirts.

Getting all laced into a corset, get everything on and realizing I have to pee.

Black/burgundy/blue lipstick stains in strange places.

Getting my boots on and laced up relizing that I either have my sock on weird, the bottom of my foot itches, there's something in my shoe.

That's all I can think of at the moment.

tapped...ooooh...

...i just woke up from a full on zombie ammergedeon dream...

the only time i was at a 'store that shall not be named' i was really bored, and decided i wanted a misfits t-shirt, the one i didn't have when i was a kid... the tart working the front of the store practically was rubbing herself up against me she seemed so happy i'd walked in.

they didn't have the shirt.

"Getting all laced into a corset, get everything on and realizing I have to pee."

My god i hate that. almost as bad getting all trussed up in faire get out and discovering one has to wizz, or getting all trussed up in ropes and hanging from the celing and relising you have to pee.

"Getting my boots on and laced up relizing that I either have my sock on weird, the bottom of my foot itches, there's something in my shoe."

Sucks twice as much when said boots lack a zipper.

When go onto "that store" the teenybopper fluffy bunnie set and thier grand parents make me ill.

Trying ot convince people at your family reunion that really are related to them and yes your brother is related by blood, not htat you drank it but that you and he share a mother.

Having people associate you wiht those "otherkin" wierdos.

K

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Originally Posted by keiko

Trying ot convince people at your family reunion that really are related to them and yes your brother is related by blood, not htat you drank it but that you and he share a mother.

Having people associate you wiht those "otherkin" wierdos.

K

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Hahaha! Those last two are gold. I have learned to worry if I see that someone's self-portraiture shows them as something other than human.

"...and here is me as a fox! I just feel more like a fox than a person. Well, a half-dragon fox."

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Having to rush out of bed the moment you wake up just so you can get to the bank / store / whatever before it closes.

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I'm not goth and I have this problem almost daily.

Wearing the reminents of make-up from the party night before in ot the office, and trying to explain that you are not a tranny.

Walking into "Goth and Go" and watching the decimation of what you fashionably stand for, as the prices for bondage pants rise faster than gas prices.

(malcolm)
going to the store that noone wants to name and having some normal chick who wouldnt give you five minutes out of the day ask you which boot looks better cus she thinks you work there........

being reffered to as the antichrist by the christian club kids at school,

being asked a hundred times if marilyn manson can really suck his own dick like you've witnessed it firsthand and could testify to it.

explaining to people who skinny puppy is and why they remind you of the goblins and then having to explain who the goblins are

explaining that just because your bi doesnt make you a slut(not really a goth thing)

washingy our hands after you've accidentally punctured a can of soda form the fridge with either you talon rings or your pointy nails or both at the same time.

having to prove that that is really you on your drivers license photo id every tme you want to buy a drink somewhere or your favorite type of cloves

having to listen to people you barely know throw name sat you of other goths that they know cus they think all goths hang out at the same places and same times and know each other

getting looked at funny by people who see you hurry past the village graveyard cus youre scared of graveyards

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Trying to get the hair-dye stains out of your towels / sink / floors / doors / ceilings / carpets / pets / furniture.

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yeah... that shit NEVER comes out :( hehe...

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After using your black eyeliner pencil as a lip liner and getting lipstick on it, coming back and fixing your eyeliner w/ the same pencil, thus creating a big black oily smudge where a nice angled black line should be.

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yeah done that before too!

Trying to explain that your trench coat is not a fucking dress.

Its happened to me quite a few times. I still have my trench coat I traded my trench coat for haha if that makes anysense. I don't wear it anymore.

Haha. There are some def. true ones.

Being sober...Undoing the corset after a night boozing to have it all hit your insides and floor you with alcohol poisoning....

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Originally Posted by Babydolly

Being sober...Undoing the corset after a night boozing to have it all hit your insides and floor you with alcohol poisoning....

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Go read the FAQ... Please introduce yourself.

heres one that happened a few weeks ago. going into work when your off and beign reffered to as a vampire cus you work overnight and mistaking it as a joke about you being goth.

trying to maintain an erection while out of it on cough syrup.

Ppeople asking you if you're a satanist/devil worshiper/wiccan etc.

When the FCS bus drives by you get pelted with mini good news bibles.

People assuming that your cat is black. (he's white and orange)

When you tell people that you have a garden and enjoy baking they get all dissapointed when you tell them that you bake sugar cookies and grow dasies.

"You're so pale! why don't you go to the beach?"

Your mother/grandmother buying you clothes. The only bay pinks and pale blues you'd never wear ever in your life that you absolutly must wear atleast once.

K

having food thrown at you while your bloodletting with a consentual donor in the cafeteria..................being asked how many guns you own or have under your trench coat.............trying to explain that blueblood is a forum site and not a porn site at work............theres more im just braindead right now.