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What is the drunkest you ever remember being? Where were you and what were your drinking at the time? For myself, it was at a restaurant/bar in Hollywood, called The Fame Cafe. I was drinking Salty Dogs (vodka & grapefruit juice) served to me by a gorgeous bartender named Kelly Christian. My friend and I got so hammered, I couldn't walk. I was sick eventually and got better. What a night!
my 22nd birthday. At Sardo's in Burbank. Seymore, the loverly lil' guy who owns the place, made it 2for1 Kamikazies for my birthday. Some where in there was a lemon drop a shot of godiva and brandy. $100 later i was close to alcohol poisoning. everyone at my party was wearing red and black. by the end of the night (which came fairly early) I was wrapped ina white sheet while three guys in red and black suits carried me out the back door of the bar, back to our apt in Reseda and up stairs. I was so inoxicated all I could say was "Help".
I want the security camera footage of that night.
K
"The only reason I'm not an alcoholic is becasue they haven't made enough alcohol to put a dent in my problems yet."
this is a post i made from may 25th, 2004
May 25th, 2004
04:48 pm - Im a drunk fuck
You all sucketyh
ok..seriously..i think god made people for hairpulling..feels good..laugh...cheecks hurt..ok..uh...anywahy.s.. when god invented people./.. heinvented them in the dark..eth...you know those bumps aroundthe nipple? since he coundlt see..he made brAILLE...those bumps mean..sucketh..yaep/...and when he mad man...in the dark.. he forgot how many legs he put on man..and gave man the third leg.. aka...the weeny.. so..god got tired of i need a smoke..oh ya..feels good'
bouncy..
oh yea..got got scared of the dark (pussy)...he invented albert eitnerstine to invent light..bulby.. and then.,. ANHD THEN!> and thn um..oh ya...and thnj. he created light...and stuff. crap. so he looked at man.,...and said..shit.. fuced up ...i gave man...3rd legs..and woman....2....now....what if i....god...made it possible...for man and woman...to reproductieth.. so he thought..and asked his advisors...and they all said....zex...and so-eth.. he fwent about and ..said..hey adam..sup nigga...i got dis idea... stick your weeny thingy..in eve...and see what happens...and so adam doth sticketh hie weenyeth is eveth...and 9 months later...baby ruth. like masturnatiob...off the subject of hjow god created eople./.masturbation..is ....great..when somebody else doesth...it...eth.. FUC YOU I DNT HAVE TO EXPLAIN ETH ya..so ...that feels good..and...then...g spots feels good..so...jesus...said...hey dad....sup bitch...i s ay...eth..*burp* how bout.make hot ass woman....and drunk guy...and 2004 years later...you have....voldtaengler./....yes..i am god s sun..eth...woship me...cause you all suck and if you go to another relgion..i shall curse you with hermaphgonaladslypiys ...something...and then...and os my daddy told me..that..if yu make woopy..yuou too can hae...that i typed abov.e...because i know if i type it now..it wnt be the same..because.i am ...vodltaengle.and...your mom...sucks..akqA....and them..wow..i tpyeda lot.. i sould get an A....for history. cause ..ok i done....send me...money...for my bitche...speech....eth....and thn. ok..toooooooo loonng.....eth and then..
Current Mood: [mood icon] drunk
Current Music: you luaginhg cause im stoopid
currently there after i broke sprained my ankle so bad i had to have crutches for 2 weeks. and then i licked a boot.
Visiting family in Cali, I agreed to have dinner at Planet Hollywood - and needless to say, was really looking forward to an evening of overpriced movie themed yuppy chow - so I started my meal at the bar. My drink of choice at that time was a shot called the "screaming nazi" (Jagermeister and Rumpl-minze) I ordered two, one for each hand. The bartender didn't know how to make them but his computerized cash register did.
I guess he was distracted, maybe it was the mohawk, because they rang up as shots but he poured them in full size coctail glasses. When I realized I was only paying $3 a glass for what amounts to straight 80 and 100 proof liquor the family dinner started looking up. I ordered four more before he caught his mistake.
By the time my "Buddy Holly Bruschetta" appetizer arrived I was tanked, and staggered off to find the bathroom - which in this case was mirrored: walls floor and ceiling!! So that after taking care of business I was at a loss to find the way back out. Lucky for me there was a guy whose sole purpose in life is to hang out in the bathroom and hand me paper towels after I wash my hands. So after slurring out an apology to this poor sot about where his life choices have gotten him, I offered him a dollar to point me to the door. The rest of the night is a blurr, but my mom was laughing and my little brother was terrified. Over all a great night out with the family.
I went to a christmas part for a company I did not work for and knew no one there & got pissed on free vodka. I got nice and cozy with some woman who thought I worked there and went for a meal at about 4 am, for some unknown reason with a few people from this company. (I had a taxi receipt in my pocket which is how I knew the time). Some how I got home threw up in the bathroom & missed the toilet a few times & on my shoes and trosers, though I did not find out till later.
Then went to work the next day 2 hours late, still hung over badly & because it was a Saturday got paid overtime for 4 hrs work, of which 2 hrs I was not there and the time there I slept most of it.
Otherwise I had a great time.
i can't think of a specific time....but recently...alot...
i was at a friends house just as far out int he booneys as i am....drank beers well into the double digits...and some 'shine i've been partly making a living off of....i woke up in my car......i remember punching the floorboards like some ape...uhh...shit what else...i can't even remebmr it allnow...it was a fucked up night...
at some point there was a cat or a racoon crawling around my car and i was yelling real loud like some british eccentric safari dude,talking about how he might urinate trough my room unto my HEAD!,GOOD SHOW,chap!,good show...
that's all i remember...well..and the pain that made me punching the floorboards...
Oh man these are great stories, keep 'em coming.
my drinking stoped mostly when I stoped being punkhead
only I can remember is that I was caried by 4 friends home from the concert of local punk bands and that I was bullshiting all the way: "Guy's I'm completely normal, it's just body that won't listen" :)
ohmygod I can't breathe its so funny.Quote:
Originally Posted by VoldtaEngler
Kind of a cross between Bukowski and Casanova:thumb: :1orglaugh This one time I downed a fifth of gin (due to not tasting it mixed with ginger ale) I did battle with a cat litter box and passed out on somebody's lawn. I was a tremendous lush when I was 16-20. I could go on and on ... will have to look for some shit I penned when back home.Quote:
Originally Posted by VoldtaEngler
OEC
yes i knew sonner r later this was going to pop up here ,
sorry i dont drink any more for a reason ,and i really dont want too share my drunken explots,at this time but ya i got ALOT of storys i could tell ,
Just not now ....sorry
im what people call a funny drunk around here. that whole post i made was when my g/f was brushing my hair as i was typing and watching Dude wheres my car?! ..hence the "ahh..hair pully" and " AND THEN!" hehe...crazy stuff ;)
a few beers, a few cokes, two litres of vodka, an unknown number of sambucas and a chicken leg. It was the chicken leg that threw me over the edge, I'm sure of it. Never eat food you find in an elevator.
It started as a quiet night, then Jani (anyone remember Warrant?) booked in the hotel, and ended with vitamin B injections.. which I wholeheartedly recommend to anyone too drunk to remember how to breathe, but it really doesn't help your chances if you blow chunks on the cute nurse. Twice.
mG
OK... I don't smoke ciggers, let alone dope, but one night in Melbourne I got so bad on hideous cocktails that I smoked a (reeeeaaaally bad) joint.
I don't even remember walking back inside after that. See, my boyfriend and I had already drank a few Jack Daniel's before his brother's friend gave us these cocktails.
I swear they were about 99% vodka and 1% fruit pulp. We all politely sipped a few, but because of the JD, and because I can't drink too much vodka, I fucking skyrocketed.
Funny - if I ever smoke anything, I always cough my guts up. I smoked the joint like I'd been smokin since I was ten. Unbelievable what a bout of drunkenness can do for you!!
Oh yeah... and I threw up for two hours into a toilet, hit my head hard on the tiled floor of the bathroom, passed out and apparently when my boyfriend and his brother tried to carry me to the bedroom, I was kicking and screaming "Don't touch my hair!!!"
My boyfriend's best friend and I call it "The Melbourne Incident" (TMI)... we always say I can't have a repeat episode hehehe.
I wouldn't even know where to begin on that
Was at my ex-bestfriends when my ex and I were staying with her for a few months; hadn't planned on drinking, but not like I had much else to do except sit on my ass that night.
Involved a fuckload of double Jager shots and Gold Schlager.. both of which I hold, very, very, very well.. but just not together in mass quantity; spent a nice 2 hours in the bathroom hoarking everything I had that day and two and a half days with the worst headache/hangover. I'd never gotten a hangover or been sick from drinking too much/mixing shit, 'til that night. >.<
Since then, if I even think or smell anything about Jager(for some reason not the Gold), I get sick to my stomach and damn near puke. I do miss it though. Maybe one day, when/if I forget that horrid experience.
I'll stick to my vodka 'til then. Mmmm, chocolate martini.
When I was about 18, a friend and I split a 2 litre flagon of port, went back to his place, split a bottle of homemade tequila, then went to see a band. After about 5 beers, I was out like a light.
'bout an hour ago*(it's 5:22am here) i was trying to find a lighter i know ,chick jacked...through my car....and notcied all these people have trashed me shit...and got fuickign pissed off...
and talkign to the female in question...she got all pissy...long story howt...keep disresprecting my shit and i'll have your fucking neck....
goddammit all...
The last time I got really drunk I think it was the combination of Jager, Surfer's on Acid, more Jager, mystery shots, red wine, and chocolate. So I'm told I went in the bathroom with some lady got naked then decided it was time to go home and trotted to the car damn near buck naked. Someone managed to get my coat on me.
Then I slept for 13 hours.
Prior to that the most drunk I've ever been was in Vancouver BC with friends. This was about 5 years ago. Here's what I remember:
Crappy club, few drinks.
Next club, lots of free shots of Jager. Several beers. Joint from dirty hippy outside club.
Got into the club saw gigantic swinging cock (naked man dancing on a table)
Made out with Polish lesbian and someone elses boyfriend.
Said OPP tore my tights at the crotch.
Club closed.
Made out with drag queen.
Got felt up by OPP.
Gave Polish lesbian a big bite mark.
got invited to after hours.
Mystery shots-
Woke up next morning in my hotel room naked in bed with a gay man and hating the world.
Ah yes... the ever infamous Aurora Ave HalloweenQuote:
Originally Posted by Nudemuse
Event (Thanks Renee)... where I spent most of the
night feeling up drag queens fake tits (because they
wanted my opinion as to who's felt more lifelike),
picking up size 0 lipstick lesbians by the waistband
and curling them like dumbbells, getting dragged off
into a bedroom every 20 minutes by Cali-Gurl to
smoke blunt after blunt (I LOVE CHOCOLATE BLUNTS),
got kissed by a really drunk gay boy who was scared
shitless of me... thinking I was going to steal his soul,
getting locked in a bedroom full of coke crazed chicks
(and being the only guy in there) while the rest of the
entire party was out back busting up a pinata, feeling up
a naughty nurse in red vinyl with Muse.... all the
while drinking, heavily... about a $400 bar tab (if it hadn't
been free)... and it wasn't the coat I was worried about
getting on you, it was the boots... being wet and cold out.
And I still drove home... years of drunk driving experience,
not that I endorse such activity, but when you have to...
buuuuuuuuut... I would have to say, I was not as hammered
that night... as what I was on my birthday at The Rickshaw...
I have a fuzzy recollection of red headed sluts - then drinking
some... red headed sluts that is...taking up the entire end of
the bar with all sorts of Chinese fooding goodness, Muse singing
Jump, Jive and Wail for me, a bull dyke hitting on me... to try and
get an invite to come home with us, smoking weed out back with
a busboy we call Richard Jr (since he's a miniature version of
Richard Simmons... and just as queer)... then eventually getting
home for some all night birthday lovin's... tequila is liquid Vi@r@...
the next day we got some nasty looks from neighbours...
forgot the bedroom window was open...ground floor and facing
the walkway between apartment buildings... several of school-
children that morning were asking their parents if the lady in that
apartment was OK.
That's just recent time drunkenness... there are countless times
and actually years that I don't really remember... especially while
on tour with Pantera, Ozzfest, Crowbar and a few others that I
either find it best not to mention or can even remember.
Got smoked out with KottonMouth Kings in Amsterdam, like the
song says, we smoked so much it scared the locals... and that's
no shit.
By the way... great to be back... and
FUCK QWEST
FUCK the DoD
FUCK the DoJ
FUCK the asshole who hacked my system
(surprise fuckface, I have your IP as well
as your ISP... rootkits are nasty, THANX
asshat... you'll get yours)
FUCK DDoS, DoS & DRoS ATTACKS
FUCK MicroShaft
and anyone else I forgot
oh yeah, FUCK Flip... naw, we still love ya,
you limey bastard.
Amelia, you will be getting an email from
me very shortly... now that I have a secure
system and connection.
"I'm DRUNK and from HOLLAND"
(something my friends like to yell
while being punk in drublic)