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Thread: Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

  1. #1

    Default Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

    Maxim Golovatskikh might be hot and in a band, but he is a butcher. Well, actually a year ago that was pretty literally true, on multiple levels, but he has been in jail awaiting trial since then. See Maxim Golovatskikh was a goth boy in a band who worked as a butcher to pay his rent in a gothic group house in St Petersburg.

    Unfortunately, it was Maxim Golovatskikh’s misfortune to have a cute emo girl get all hot for him. Cute emo Karina Barduchian was so into Maxim Golovatskikh that she kept right on going over to his place, even afer her mother forbade her to see him. The problem was he and his housemates were all goth-identified, but this Karina Barduchian chick was all emo and hanging out at their party pad, just flaunting her vulnerable cute girl killability. It has also been widely reported that she made fun of really uncute goth boy Yuri Mozhnov for being a florist and she was just really emo, ya know.

    So, obviously, the only rational thing for Maxim Golovatskikh and Yuri Mozhnov to do was to wait until the festivities wound down and then drown Karina Barduchian in the bathtub. And cook the tastiest parts of her remains and serve them to their unsuspecting housemate Ekaterina Zinovyeva as a hearty breakfast with potatoes.

    Now I’m kind of a foodie, so I used to be curious about cannibalism. Sorta grew out of it. Just a phase I guess. There have been certain warrior tribes who ate portions of fallen foes to gain some of their power, but how much mojo can one get from a cute emo girl with a crush on a gothic boi in a band? Kellie LaPlegua recently did a performance where...
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  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

    I'm not goth or emo and I have never murder cannibaled any of the goth or emo girls who have been nice enough to let me bang them.

  3. #3
    TheDeathKnight's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

    Those guys look like The Joker and Frankenfurter...




  4. #4

    Default Re: Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

    Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?
    Yes. Very much yes.

    I mean, I have no problem with emos. People hate on them for all the wrong reasons; I think they see emo as the physical manifestation of their own angsts and feel that by talking down to them they can pretend to have their own shit together - while clearly if that concerns you so much, the opposite is more likely to be true.

    But murdering and eating cute, ignorant little girls that insist on throwing themselves in your web? That's like the quintessential goth story. Very Poppy Z Brite. I love it.


    Quote Originally Posted by incog View Post
    I'm not goth or emo and I have never murder cannibaled any of the goth or emo girls who have been nice enough to let me bang them.
    Then you bloody well shouldn't, either. You don't get to kill things that are prettier than you.

    'Course, that goes for the ugly goth too. And they coulda picked a prettier death than drowning. But, I'm not about to argue taste with them when they probably won't get a do-over. They did what they did and they've have earned my appreciation for it.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

    Low-functioning alt-identified spastics kill child in some sort of pathetic quest to become uber-cool. They're gonna get a serious anal-pummelling in prison, that's for sure.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

    Flail living up to his name ITT

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

    I agree with Amelia. He was hot and in a band but what he did was TOTALLY wrong. Although I 'd still consider making out with him.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

    That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard of. Let him rot in a hole.

  9. #9
    SyntheticShock's Avatar ...
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    Default Re: Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

    That's a whole lot of fucked up right there. Sure some people may be drunk and hungry and JOKE about eating someone and laugh it off, but it's on a whole new level to actually do it. The poor girl and her family.

    It grosses me out to think of eating raw flesh, even if it's not human. I'm such a texture person. But it would be really interesting, if there was a video of Kellie and Louis of the consensual flesh eating, I'd like to see their initial reactions when they're eating it.

  10. #10
    a_small_death's Avatar The ugliest dj on earth
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    Default Re: Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

    I read this and after words thought you know it's one thing to say your gonna kill an emo kid but this is going just a step beyond. And drunk and hungry? That has to be the worst murder defense next to the twinke defense. You can do alot of stupid things when your drunk but to kill and eat someone is the most absurd excuse I've ever heard. Frankly these two look like rejects from a clown car. In the end these 2 deserve to be locked away until their bones have long become powder. Looking at these two also, the other inmates are gonna have lots of fun with em.

  11. #11
    Mr Karl's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

    is the world a stupid place or what?

  12. #12

    Default Re: Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

    Wow, I'm sure little girls taste terrible. They're not really made out of sugar and spice, that's just a nursery rhyme.

  13. #13
    ForrestBlack's Avatar Administrator
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    Default Re: Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

    Quote Originally Posted by ape descendant View Post
    Wow, I'm sure little girls taste terrible. They're not really made out of sugar and spice, that's just a nursery rhyme.
    Sometimes I guess you just have to check for yourself... or not.

  14. #14

    Default Re: Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

    Well if ya do, make sure to wash all the pesticides and wax off of 'em really good, that way you don't get sick.

  15. #15
    keiko's Avatar baker of geekery
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    Default Re: Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

    and i'm left to wonder at what could possibly be the choice bits of an emo girl? they're all malnourished and look incredibly stringy.

    ~K

  16. #16

    Default Re: Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

    The tongue. =)

  17. #17
    One Eyed Cat's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

    This would make for an interesting video game if nothing else.

    OEC

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