If I were in Portland for NYE, I can guarantee that I would be at Darklady’s Empire of Pleasure New Year’s Eve. If you’ve ever read the words in an adult publication, you are most likely familiar with Darklady’s work. She is a successful prolific journalist and sexpert and knows so much about so many of my favorite things. She describes her areas of expertise as “adult entertainment industry, free speech, internet technology, and alternative sexuality” and I’d have to agree that is deliciously accurate.

What you may not know is that Darklady Productions, Inc. also produces a series of good events for the perverse. We’ve got a little taster gallery of event photos from her Burlesque-a-thon themed 2008 Portland Masturbate-a-thon and her 2007 NYE Masquerade. I’m always down for wearing giant hoop skirts which knock everything over, although, because I don’t have a real hat head, sometimes crowns can be difficult to fit. Tiaras work fine though. Yes, I’m planning an outfit in my head for an Empire of Pleasure themed event I probably won’t be in town to attend; I work too much, but it sounds really fun. Darklady described the theme, saying:

“The snows are melting and Darklady’s Empire of Pleasure has physical, emotional and spiritual warmth to spare. Pay homage to empires past, present and future while lovingly indulging your senses in celebration of life and the coming New Year. Darklady’s Empire of Pleasure pays homage to days past, present and future that shape us. Whether your favorite “imperial” spreads like butter or starred Shaka Zulu, the Son of Heaven, the Chrysanthemum Throne, Imperium Romanum, Stormtroopers or genuinely Byzantine thinking, Darklady invites you to lovingly indulge in a celebration of the senses and New Year.”

They will also have giveaways from Big Teaze Toys, Topco Toys, Taboo Video, Stockroom and Astroglide too if you count the fact that Astroglide is sort of sponsoring the play room. They take their play seriously in the Pacific NW. Plus all you can eat Mediterranean buffet. Mmmmm.

You can get more info at Darklady’s site and RSVP to Darklady@darklady.com.

The sexy lead-off picture for our Darklady photo gallery is of her and Dale the Nail from this year’s Portland Masturbate-a-thon, photographed by Bryan Grimes. Darklady and I were chatting about her party and just random stuff going on and this photo made her think of a great story she shared:

“It’s so weird about Dale and I. We were punk teens back in the 70s/80s and hung out downtown — then dropped out of contact until after 2000 when we discovered I was writing throwing parties and writing about sex for a living and he was hanging from hooks and creating weird “guerrilla art.”

Nice to know we didn’t all grow up to become accountants and housewives.“

Amen to that, sister.

Forrest Black and I are going to be on Night Calls for our third or fourth appearance Friday, April 25, 2008. The show runs from 4pm to 7pm and is broadcast live, so you can phone in and ask impertinent (sexy) questions if you dial toll free 1-877-205-9796.

Our hosts for the day are going to be Christy Canyon and Vanessa Blue. This will be my first time meeting Vanessa Blue, but last time adult legend Christy Canyon gave me some interesting insights. Among other things, we were chatting about what it was like being . . . unusual in the Washington, DC area. At the time Blue Blood was founded, a person (okay, one of my unsavory pals generally) could be thrown out of Springfield Mall for having a nose ring. Christy Canyon told me that it was much more progressive in Los Angeles and somewhat surprising to Angelenos that being able to express yourself even by wearing a painted leather jacket is definitely not always easy elsewhere. And that went double in the early 90’s.

Forrest Black and I are in the second guest time slot and will be going on around 5pm. Forrest Black and I will be chatting with Christy Canyon and Vanessa Blue about BlueBlood.com in general, about our photography in specific, and, if experience is something to go on, we will definitely be talking about sex. Our friend Darklady from Portland will, through an odd bit of synchronicity, be on in the 4pm slot, and it is a good show, so I recommend tuning in from the start. Darklady will be promoting her upcoming Masturbate-a-thon (yes, you read that correctly) and I bet I have a lot more to tell everyone about it after tomorrow, so watch this space for more on that.

Darklady was just in town and she and Forrest Black and rainmaker Brian Gross and I went to eat sushi and talk about life, the universe, and everything. Humorously, although I have known Brian via snail mail, telephone, and email for around fifteen years, and he now lives in the Valley maybe half an hour to forty minutes north of me in Hollywood, it took a mutual pal from out of town to get us together in person.