Procacity is defined as “Forwardness; pertness; petulance” by Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary. “Impudence” is an alternate word choice for expressing the meaning of procacity. Although the thesaurus does not list procacity, there are a number of synonyms for impudence, including audacity, brass, brassiness, chutzpah, effrontery, gall, impertinence, insolence, rudeness, and sass.

I usually think I’ve got a pretty good-sized vocabulary, but I admit I just had to look up what procacity meant. My FireFox spellchecker does not even think procacity is a real word. Weirdly, however, the #1 most searched term on Google right now is procacity. The only thing I can guess is that maybe this has something to do with Blasphemy Day and some believers describe blasphemers as impudent. So maybe procacity is like impudence, only more so? At any rate, Google currently states that the search hotness of procacity is volcanic and it is #1 out of the 100 most popular searches in the past hour.

The odd thing is that Google has only this week taken to listing only their top 40 searches, rather than previous much higher trends lists. So, in current Google terms, it seems like it would make sense to say procacity is #1 of 40. I wish Google would go back to their old format for trendspotting. September 28, Google launched OneBox, a service which tells you if what you just searched for is a hot trend i.e. something which a lot of other people are searching for too. But they’ve downgraded their professional product at the same time, which seems unhelpful. At any rate, a Google search pulls up no news for procacity and mostly just a lot of definitions pages.

So I popped over to Bing to see what they had to offer. A search on Bing also just yielded page after page of what does procacity mean. Bing doesn’t really have a trending topics searched system like Google or Twitter yet. But Bing does have a way to see the top news stories. Nothing in Bing news about procacity either.

The top news story from Bing is that of the backwoods Kentucky hanging of former Boy Scout leader and U.S. Census worker Bill Sparkman. Bill Sparkman was found hanging from a Kentucky tree with the word “FED” scrawled across his chest. Other top stories today are that my current home state of California is still on fire and Indonesia had a horrible earthquake shortly after an Indonesian woman gave birth to a nineteen pound baby. In other weird baby news, there is another fabulous new vocabulary word. A woman in Arkansas, who was already pregnant, got pregnant again. Apparently, this is a rare but not unheard-of condition called superfetation.

So superfetation and procacity are the vocabulary words for the day. That will be all.

Apparently, ineffable is one of the most searched for words on the internet today. This is entertaining because it is ironic that someone should search for the meaning of a word which means that which has meaning which can not be expressed.

I think ineffable is one of those words which comes up around a holiday like Easter, as folks bust out scripture, while being a bit fuzzy on what the bunnies mean. So, as a service to the community, we thought we’d help everyone out with, not the nine billion names of G-d, but at least the ten most useful definitions of ineffable.

Ineffable is . . .

1. incapable of being expressed or described in words; inexpressible: ineffable joy. (Random House)

2. not to be spoken because of its sacredness; unutterable: the ineffable name of the deity. (Random House)

3. Incapable of being expressed; indescribable or unutterable. Unspeakable. (The American Heritage Dictionary)

4. Not to be uttered; taboo: the ineffable name of G-d. (The American Heritage Dictionary)

5. defying expression or description; “indefinable yearnings”; “indescribable beauty”; “ineffable ecstasy”; “inexpressible anguish”; “unspeakable happiness”; “unutterable contempt”; “a thing of untellable splendor” (Princeton’s WordNet)

6. too sacred to be uttered; “the ineffable name of the Deity” (Princeton’s WordNet)

7. Incapable of being expresses in words; unspeakable; unutterable; indescribable; as, the ineffable joys of heaven. (Webster’s Dictionary)

8. That cannot be described, incommunicable, indefinable, indescribable, inexpressible, undescribable, unutterable (Roget’s II: The New Thesaurus)

9. too great for words, beyond words, celestial, divine, empyreal, empyrean, ethereal, heavenly, holy, ideal, impossible, incommunicable, incredible, indefinable, indescribable, inexpressible, nameless, sacred, spiritual, too sacred for words, transcendent, transcendental, unspeakable, untellable, unutterable (Roget’s 21st Century Thesaurus)

10. Ineffable? Is that that hot girl in high school who was saving herself? Or is that uneffable? I get the two confused. (Forrest Black)

Definition #10 is my favorite. (Yes, he was kidding, although don’t try drunk word definition debate games with him because you will not win.) Now that you all know what ineffable means, don’t blame me if the stars start winking out one by one. I’m just the messenger. (Do blame yourself if you are as big a dork as me and get the Arthur C. Clarke reference.) And, if you like furry bunny suits, decorations, candy, and treasure hunts (even for lame treasure like boiled eggs), I’d like to wish you a Happy Easter.