It is no secret that I love the vampire genre. I received Honors at Wesleyan University for my thesis on vampire legends as a paradigm for aggressive human sexuality. And I would like the record to show that I will be speaking on exactly that topic this weekend at Vampire Con in Hollywood. I’ll be taking part in the panel programming Sunday afternoon, after the movie nights, and before Vampirella’s Ball (more on this in a moment.) I’m excited that Wendi Mirabella and Lotti Pharriss Knowles have put Vampire-Con together.

The panel I am on is called Hot-Blooded: Vampires & Sexuality and is at 1pm at the Henry Fonda Theater on Hollywood Blvd. It will be moderated by David J. Skal, Author of Hollywood Gothic and V Is For Vampire: The A-Z Guide Of Everything Undead. I’m especially excited that Pam Keesey, who I’m looking forward to catching up with will be on the panel. She is the editor of multiple anthologies of lesbian vampire tales, Women Who Run with the Werewolves: Tales of Blood, Lust, and Metamorphosis, and Vamps: An Illustrated History of the Femme Fatale. Pam Keesey has a very engaging personality, has published yours truly, and once gave me a tour of Forrest Ackerman’s memorabilia collection. Other panelists are Hal Bodner, author of Bite Club: A West Hollywood Vampire Tale, filmmaker Fred Olen Ray from The Lair, actress Celeste Yarnall, best known at a vamp convention for her role in The Velvet Vampire, but who has appeared in everything from Melrose Place to Star Trek, and best-selling author, comic book writer, and filmmaker Donald F. Glut who recently directed the Elizabeth Bathory-inspired movie Blood Scarab. And we’ll be talking about vampire sex.

That evening, at the same venue, from 8:30pm to 1am, there will be Vampirella’s Ball. The music will be provided by DJ Xian and DJ Gary Calamar, music supervisor of HBO’s True Blood and KCRW radio DJ. Vampire Con describes the appropriate attire saying, “Costumes are thoroughly encouraged – Vampires, Victorian, Edwardian, Steampunk, Bohemian, Tribal, Gypsy.”

Forrest Black and I will have a location studio set up to photograph people involved in the event, revelers who most exemplify the themes of the event, and our close personal friends (i.e. not everyone, but photographic subjects best for doing press coverage on Vampire Con.) If we know you from online, please come find us on the roof Sunday night (or at my panel during the day) and say hello and where we know you from. I’m looking forward to running into tons of cool people at this event. Our favorite photos from the evening will of course appear here on BlueBlood.net.

For some reason I have been having this discussion over and over lately, the most recent being with my buddy the truly awesome musician Dan Clark about the problems of getting your band booked. Based largely on my experiences touring with Ego Likeness, here are some of my thoughts on the whole business of getting booked . . .

There are several problems with bands getting shows.

1. The most obvious, yet the least talked about: The band needs to be desirable. Does the band bring *anything* to the table, do they have a fan base? Most of the time the answer is no. And on the occasions the answer is yes, it’s best to assume it is smaller than you think it is.

1a. Most bands are far more interested in playing shows than making fans. Many bands believe they are good, and believe that because they are good people will give them a chance, and give them shows. I see a lot of bands trying to go on tour that are just not ready for it. I mean you can do it, don’t get me wrong, but chances are you will play a bunch of random bars, for no one. You might score a hit here and there, but more than likely you will just bleed money.

So lets say they manage to book a show in an unknown market. No one shows up, because no one local knows who they are, and the promoter loses.

If the band is lucky the promoter might set them up opening for a good local act, and they might get a toehold in that market. But as there are a ton of bands vying for that position it is difficult at best to acquire.

1b. So how do you go about getting a toehold? SPEND MONEY!! Make a good CD, with good songs, then when you manufacture it, send out 20 copies to any general club that might book you. Send T-shirts, stickers, anything you can, as much as you can. So lets say you send out 1,000 CDs, out of those 1,000, 100 get listened to, but it is something. That is your toehold. I am not talking about press kits, or digital downloads; I am talking about physical free stuff. Everyone has free promo downloads, but no one is going to download something from some random band they have never heard of. However, some people will put in a CD by a band they have never heard of, particularly if that CD looks nice and is accompanied by other swag.

2. There are few actual promoters who understand the business. If a promoter loses money on a show, it is their fault, period. They need to have a realistic (not what they want) understanding of the draw of any given act. They need to put that act in a room of the appropriate size and the appropriate cost. If the band wants too high a guarantee, don’t take the gig. If the only available show date is a Monday night, don’t take the gig. If you do take the gig, because they are your favorite band, be prepared to take a loss.

Actually that is a good rule across the board, always assume that any show you have will lose money. If it doesn’t, bonus!

It is always better to pack a tiny room than play in a 200 person room to 50 people.

3. Bands on the other hand need to be realistic about their guarantees. It doesn’t matter how popular you think you are or how popular you should be, because you are you and you are good, dammit. The reality is that, unless you have been around a very very long time, or have had a documented club hit, you should not be asking for a guarantee over say $100, if that.

Let’s say you have a tour and the average guarantee you ask for is $100; that’s really low, and most promoters can make that back. Awesome! Because the next time, hopefully you can ask for more. However, if you are a promoter’s favorite band, and you take advantage of that by asking $500 and the promoter loses money, they probably won’t have you back. The idea everyone involved needs to embrace is longevity, not any individual show or tour.

4. Bands, if you cant afford to tour without getting $3-400 a show, and you do not meet the above criteria, DON’T FUCKING TOUR!! Or trim your machine down to the point where you can do it for $100-200 a show, less if you can. More people in your band does not make a better band, it just makes more mouths to feed and, and a higher cost. This scene in particular is very forgiving of two people and backing tracks (we know from experience) *IF* that is you can put on a good show with good songs. No amount of gear or number of bodies on stage will help you if your songs are not good or you don’t somehow connect with the audience.

The audience does not care about your gear or the number of people onstage. They care about the band that loves making music, and loves performing no matter how many people are there.

If everyone involved has a reasonable understanding of what to expect, then a successful show is much more likely.

I guess what it boils down to is this.

Promoters

Don’t book shows that cost more than you can afford to lose.
Always assume that no one will show up, and you are booking the show for yourself.
Never assume you know what kind of numbers a band will draw.
No matter who the band is, you need to promote the hell out of the show.
Don’t let bands take advantage of you. If a band wants a bunch of rare alcohol or whatever, fuck ‘em. Requests like that tend to be insulting to all involved.

Bands

Do not charge more than you are worth.
Do not ask for anything from the promoter except items required for a quality show.
Do not mistake internet popularity for actual bodies.
Just because you made something doesn’t mean its good.
You probably have too many people in your live act, get rid of some.
For that matter, get rid of anything that you take on tour that does not make you money.
When you are pricing your tour, do not forget that promoters also have to pay for sound people, PA’s, venues, promotion, food, etc. The cost of a show is not just your guarantee.
Always assume that no one cares about what you do, and plan on living off the bare minimum.

Then if you are wrong, everyone wins. But going into any business situation assuming you are owed anything is fatal for everyone involved.

One of my favorite quotes that kinda puts it all in perspective: “Pigs get fat; hogs get slaughtered”

Years ago, a photo Forrest Black and I shot of Malcolm Jamal-Warner was almost published by Vibe. At the time, Malcolm Jamal-Warner was starring on Malcolm & Eddie with Eddie Griffin, but still best known for whatever it was he did on The Cosby Show. (I can’t speculate because I’ve never seen The Cosby Show, although I have seen a Chris Rock spoof of it.) I admit that I was interested in shooting him mostly because he was a charismatic guy with the world’s largest diamond tongue ring, at a time when tongue rings were still, ya know, radical. Vibe expressed interest and held onto the print for months. I was really excited to appear in such a large circulation music and lifestyle magazine then, but, alas, they eventually passed and sent my stuff back. No idea why to this day.

But now I know Vibe will never be on my list of credits because effective today, the magazine has ceased to exist. Staffers were in the middle of work on a Michael Jackson tribute issue when they received a memo, from CEO Steve Aaron, telling them they could basically go home. Vibe was hit hard by a combination of lack of access to venture capital and the huge decline in advertising, especially in Vibe’s bread and butter automotive and fashion categories, due to either recession belt-tightening or companies plain going out of business. I’m not a huge fan of venture capital because I feel it puts the banking people in control over creative, while allowing companies to spend vast sums on overpriced parties and coders and real estate in a way which can make otherwise viable businesses unable to compete in an environment where the venture capital-funded businesses will soon also go under due to irrational business plans. Nonetheless, I’m not thrilled that the taxpayers bailed out the banks but not really the automotive industry and this means companies like Vibe have to be shuttered.

I would think the Vibe web site would be an asset with some value, and the closing memo says digital did well for them, simply not well enough to counterbalance the rest in this economy, only apparently it is not for sale, so it may have too many liens from venture capital folks on it or something along those lines. At any rate, the issue of Vibe on the stands now, with Eminem on the cover, will be its last and the web site will stop updating immediately and be closed in the next month. I love magazines and it saddens me to see this rash of magazines folding.

Interscope recording artist Lady Gaga is an entertaining answer to the reams of pseudo-indie forgettable hipsters who put so much effort into looking like they are not trying at all. When a ballet dancer makes a pirouette look effortless, that is impressive. When a band backed by a mega-corporation makes it look effortless to get beamed into millions of households while being a humble dork in a Cheeto-stained ironic T-shirt, that is just stupid fake.

Lady Gaga is not afraid to look like she put some effort in when she got dressed today. She appears to come out of the same New York city nightlife culture which first gave birth to Madonna. MTV bleeps the word “muffin” when Lady Gaga touches her genital region in the “Poker Face” video, but Fuse TV leaves it in. Make of that what you will. Watching the “Poker Face” video makes me feel like it might be coming around to time for it to be fun to get dressed up to go out again. I appreciate an artist who can un-ironically perform with jewelry glued to her face, while somehow seeming like she includes her audience. A Britney Spears will get dressed up, but one always has the sense that she is from some other planet and she is there to perform and not to really get anyone else’s ass down on the dance floor. Lady Gaga makes you want to show what you got. At the very least, “Poker Face” is some lovely eye candy directed by the brilliant Ray Kay and produced by Jill Hardin. Lady Gaga and songwriters Nadir Khayat collaborated on the songs adorable lyrics.

I wanna roll with him a hard pair we will be
A little gambling is fun, when you’re with me (I love it)
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun
And baby when it’s love, if it’s not rough, it isn’t fun

The song is about strutting your stuff in a sexy way, while not revealing whether you are sexually available or not. Remember, I loathe puns, but I make an exception for the sex and porn puns. Especially if they have fabulous style.

Anna Evans pointed out that Depeche Mode has a video out for Wrong, the first single off their new album Sounds Of The Universe. They debuted the song at, I think, this year’s Echo music awards in Berlin, Germany. The Echo awards are given out each year based on the preceding year’s sales for both a German band or artist and an international band or artist in each category. In addition to Depeche Mode, the 2009 Echo awards included live performances from the Scorpions, U2, Katy Perry, Udo Lindenberg, Paul Potts, Razorlight, Helene Fischer, Silbermond, Sasha, Amy McDonald, and Die Toten Hosen, the last of which I believed to be a fictional band one of my degenerate punk rock friends made up when I first of them. Something about the name.

At any rate, as Anna Evans asked, what do you think of the new single from Depeche Mode? I’m always entertained by a combination of gloom pop and bad driving myself.

The Sisters of Mercy will be playing The Music Box at the Henry Fonda Theater in Los Angeles on Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008. Read on to find out how you can win tickets courtesy of GoldenVoice and Blue Blood.

In the same way perhaps that Guns n’ Roses is essentially Axl Rose at this point, Sisters of Mercy is essentially Andrew Eldritch. Having different collaborators on different Sisters albums gave different ones slightly different feels, but I personally enjoy the music on all of them. I even liked Vision Thing when all my unsavory pals derisively referred to it as the “Sisters Metal Album”. (I maintained that the Egyptian iconography on the cover made it totally gothic, but whatever.)

My friend Jeanne has been emailing me nostalgic photos recently and this made me think of of an amusing related anecdote. Uncomfortable with the goth label, Sisters of Mercy has tended to tour with potentially incongruous acts. So Jeanne and I were at some stadium show. I don’t recall all the acts on the bill, but the arena was probably the New Haven Coliseum or the Hardford Civic Center. This was pre-internet, so she and I were really enjoying the people watching and deconstructing the different tribes which had come out for the various bands playing. And looking for cute boys. So Jeanne spots this totally hot guy with dark hair and pale skin, a type we both favored, and she grabs me to point him out (I’m the forward one), only the guy disappears into some door and we can’t figure out quite where.

Eventually Jeanne figured out that she had been scoping out Sisters frontman Andrew Eldritch. Apparently he had managed to walk around the arena hallways unrecognized, simply by not wearing his trademark sunglasses. Absolutely classic when one can be incognito by taking the sunglasses off.

I’m sure Andrew Eldritch is a difficult man to like in real life, so probably for the best. Sometimes you have to love the art and not the artist. Now I realize that Andrew Eldritch has repudiated the goth label, along with his former music label, bands who wanted to support him, and a laundry list of former bandmates. I find it really tragic that things went this way for someone who could create such consistently brilliant music and intriguing lyrics. I know genius is often tortured and alienated. I have days when I feel stabby too, but I try not to interact too much if I’m feeling like lashing out at everything around me; that feeling is nature’s way of saying to take the day off. I admit that I didn’t create art for years because a junior high art teacher was mean to me, but, in my defense, I was in junior high at the time. The Sisters of Mercy haven’t had a proper new album in years because Andrew Eldritch was on strike because he didn’t like his record label and hasn’t landed with a new one since breaking up with East West.

Word is, however, that you can hear new Sisters material at a live show, so I’d expect to hear some new music in the mix at The Sisters of Mercy show at The Music Box at the Henry Fonda Theater in Los Angeles on Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008. If you want to win a pair of free tickets, either post in this thread or message privately here or on MySpace or VF. Your post or message should include a personal anecdote about Sisters of Mercy, such as the one I told about me and my friend Jeanne, or your thoughts about the band or one of their songs. Basically, talk about something related to Sisters of Mercy and the most entertaining anecdotes or insights win free pairs of tickets to the Hollywood show.

So I was minding my own business, drinking some coffee and eating something late brunchlike, feeling a little bleary and desirous of entertainment. So I popped over to Music Choice on my TiVo. I hit download on the new Hinder video, a 50 Cent video I’ve seen nine million times, and the business advice of Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boy. Feeling like I hadn’t maybe found my ideal yet, amongst newest and most demanded videos, I selected the videos by genre category section.

There is a section called “Adult Alternative” with the slogan, “Videos with an edge, but without the attitude“. Okay, the first things on there were Coldplay, John Mayer, and Amy Winehouse. I’m going to admit right now that I don’t enjoy any of those musical acts. Nope, not even Coldplay. Yes, I know how innovative their internet marketing was last album. That doesn’t make them sound any less whiny to me. And not a poetic kind of tormented artistic soul whiny, just a neighbor’s cat howling in the rain when you are trying to get something done kind of whiny.

It strikes me that I think the Adult Alternative category is what used to be called Adult Contemporary or Disturbingly Lame Pop Aimed at an Older Demographic. Did they start calling Adult Contemporary Adult Alternative because the word Contemporary was potentially ironic or because the word Alternative would make their audience feel more hip? Adult Contemporary would once have included Steely Dan, Air Supply, and maybe Journey depending on the radio station programmer. I guess maybe Adult Contemporary pre-dates the Clear Channel stranglehold on music because it varied by individual radio station and Clear Channel isn’t really into that whole individuality thing.

Then I have the horrifying realization that I enjoy more old Adult Contemporary than modern Adult Alternative. I’m not sure what this means (besides pointing out that Americans who live overseas don’t always get the most current music) other than that I think I need another coffee.

I kind of like this year’s female pop sound, but, for some reason, all the top-selling pop artists this years seem to sound oddly similar. Moreso than usual for such things, which is saying something. I don’t think that normally Britney Spears, Pink, Christina Aguilera, Rhianna, etc. all have nearly identical voices. I think this is one of those occasions where, if I knew more about how the female pop sausage is made, it probably boils down to just a few writing teams and just a couple of producers.

This year, barring visual cues, I can’t tell any of these chicks apart from their singing. The new Britney Spears single “Womanizer” is predictably stylish and expensive-looking. It is in the format of one of those videos where the girl wears a whole passel of different outfits to appeal to a larger variety of demographics. Britney Spears has always been marketed somewhat like this, but this vid kicks it up a notch.

There is even a sequence where Brit is all done up with a reddish pinkish bob for hair and fake tattoo sleeves. Basically, the scenario has her done up as a waitress who would have a lot of “friends” on MySpace. The temporary tattoos are what feel like they put it over the top, although certainly, as the meaning of having ink has changed, tattooed hotties like Masuimi Max and Kellie LaPlegua are getting their ink lasered off. So maybe there is no true permanence in counterculture beyond what is in your heart. The look can always be co-opted, often in ways which are glossier than the original.

They will gobble up fashion as fast as the underground can produce it, although genuinely individual and independent spirit is the part mainstream wants to leave behind. But, like, America’s favorite trainwreck Britney Spears is, like, sorta naked in the “Womanizer” video.

Edit: So apparently, although this video has been uploaded about a billion and a half times to YouTube, it is not embeddable the way most vids from there are. Blue Blood has a policy against linking pirated content, but Antiquiet has the Britney Spears Director’s Cut video and I’m linking that, despite Kevin Skwerl’s FBI arrest and indictment because him once again having special materials means that either (1) it’s all effing astroturf and thus the copyright holders want it approached this way or (2) Kevin Skwerl takes stuff from work.

I love music, or at least I used to, but the music industry sure makes me sick.

I have a confession to make. You probably know I’m opposed to piracy. I’m especially opposed to the kind of modern large scale digital piracy which makes it pretty much impossible to make a living as a midlist band. The internet is great for giving nowhere bands a shot and it rules for creating record-breaking manufactured pop and blanketing the world with it. But it is a polarizing medium and, in the faint spotlight of the computer monitor glow, midlist bands have either rocketed to wild success or more frequently withered on the vine.

But nobody is perfect and I have committed piracy on two occasions. Ironically, the first was when The West Wing had a special episode with a fictional candidate political debate and I missed it. It was going to be at least a year before the debate came out on DVD or Instant Play on Netflix, there was no download option either on the official site or Amazon Unbox, and I wanted to watch the following episode. Technically, I was not the one who downloaded it off a torrent site, but I did knowingly receive stolen property.

The second time was when the Axl Rose project Chinese Democracy was leaked. I missed it the first time Antiquiet posted it, but I listened to it one of the times it was repeatedly re-posted in the Antiquiet comments. I could say that maybe there was some kind of justification in my head because I liked the writing style on Antiquiet. But really I took it for the same reason most people steal — I wanted it and there was not another way to get it.

I was terribly disappointed in what I heard. Appetite for Destruction changed my life and I sure didn’t hear anything life-changingly good on there. In fact, it seemed like averagely professional hard rock with a little self-indulgent wanking which might impress some musicians with its difficulty, but not with its quality. Possibly fine for a titty bar, but nothing to write home about. Of course, the fact that GNR super-fans almost couldn’t help but be disappointed with everything after Appetite, it is easy to understand why Axl Rose took 572 years to complete the album.

The FBI arrest and ensuing indictment of Kevin Skwerl is most likely being downgraded to a misdemeanor. Hopefully, if they don’t let him cop a plea, they will at least put the trial on Court TV or whatever it is called these days. I want to watch jurors rock out to a variety of different versions of the same series of hard rock ditties over and over. The various authorities who got involved in the Chinese Democracy leak i.e. lawyers, FBI, etc. asserted, among other things, that the leak was damaging because none of these songs were the final mixes. There seem to be other sites with live versions and other nonfinal versions of some of the songs still live, but the one with the best SERPS is in Vienna, so maybe nobody feels like taking it up cross-Atlantic. Whether the whole thing about nonfinal mixes was said to make sales or because it was true will be revealed. Now that the title track single “Chinese Democracy” has been released for radio airplay, I’d have to say that this song, at least, sounds like a different mix.

So, if you were a real big Scorpions fan back in the day (or are a ironic big scene Scorpions fan now), you may keep thinking you are about to hear “Rock You Like a Hurricane” on the radio, a lot in the near future. The song “Chinese Democracy” sounds a lot like a sorta modern “Rock You Like a Hurricane” meets “Mr. Brownstone”. Well, sorta modern. It sounds pretty retro, but in a likable way. On November 24, whether or not there is a Court TV broadcast, everyone will be able to decide if they’d like to check out the actually final final mixes on the long-incubated songs on Axl Rose’s debut solo project. I think Axl Rose is brilliant and I love love love his voice, but, let’s face it, GNR with just him is as much Guns N’ Roses as the current Led Zeppelin reunion where the shows will be performed by a bunch of Futurama-style preserved heads.

Yesterday, Amelia G was talking about the current unexpected void in the musical landscape; the extinction of the midlist or moderately popular specialty acts and the related collapse of what should be vibrant tribal cultural genres, given what would seem to be green pastures of self publishing opportunities. Serendipitously, I just received an email from our long time friend and Blue Blood contributor Justice Howard containing lots of capitol letters and an impressive collection of exclamation points, all communicating her excitement over the cool new single released by the legendary Grace Jones. “Corporate Cannibal” is the first release off her forthcoming album Hurricane, set to be released October 27th by the venerable Wall of Sound. If this is a taste of what is to come, I might just get excited about music again myself (or just move to Europe).

Grace is set to begin her tour in the UK and headline the independent music festival Secret Garden Party, performing along with Morcheeba, who I really enjoy, the Shout Out Louds, who I also enjoy because I have kind of poofy taste in music sometimes, Sons And Daughters and a load of other really cool bands and performers. Be sure to check out the Secret Garden Party website as well, it’s really quite cool and kinda fun to play with in a favorite children’s pop-up book kind of way.

In anticipation of the album, Grace Jones will also be pre-releasing singles on her Grace Jones TV Youtube channel, and I was so pleased and entertained with this that I felt that I wanted to share it with all of you. Grace Jones’ vampiric otherworldly persona has always been an inspiration and an artistic influence in my life and it’s just so great that she’s continuing to create challenging beautiful work out there for us to enjoy.