Do you feel having loved ones makes you stronger of more vulnerable? In “Grilled”, episode 202 of Breaking Bad, hopped-up tweaker drug lord Tuco tells high-school-chemistry-teacher-cum-meth-chemist that he likes doing business with a family man because there is a lot of collateral. My immediate thought is that the fastest way to conquer Tuco would be through his wheelchair-bound beloved uncle Tio. Walter White feels vulnerable and motivated to go along with the abusive drug dealer Tuco, largely out of a desire to protect his own family and his former student/drug dealing partner Jesse Pinkman. He has cancer, so he is less fearful for his own life.

Regarding the cancer, Walt did not want to undergo chemo and such, but he agreed to the unpleasant treatments because most of his loved ones asked him to do so. He may live longer and even better knowing he is loved and wanting to take the time to build a nest egg for his wife, son, and baby on the way. He may live longer and even better for undergoing the chemotherapy.

Walt keeps a second cell phone, one his wife is unaware of, for the purpose of conducting his drug business. He keeps his wife in the dark, partly out of a desire to protect her, and partly out of a desire to appear to be who she sees him as. On the one hand, his wife’s love sustains him and gives his life meaning, but, on the other, his relationship with her leads him to deception and perhaps lead him to a place where he was a high school chemistry teacher eking out a living and not a high rolling research scientist. Perhaps his love for his wife and family lead him to a place where he is manufacturing and selling brilliantly flawless methamphetamine.

I think that a person should choose who to love, partly via an accounting of who, on average or on overall accounting, makes them a better and more fulfilled person than would otherwise be the case. Love makes a person vulnerable in some areas, but real love should make a person stronger in the final analysis. I think.

I’m really looking forward to tonight’s episode of Breaking Bad on AMC.