New issue of Tattoo Teasers is on newsstands now. This issue features two super long layouts from BlueBlood.com shot by yours truly and Forrest Black. The set we shot of Bella Vendetta which graces both the masthead page and a seven page layout was at the home music studio of good friends of Bella Vendetta’s. The current issue of Tattoo Teasers also includes a second huge seven page layout Forrest Black and I shot of Rachel Face at the most excellent bar Plan B in Portland.

This edition of Tattoo Teasers includes an interview with my fellow Wesleyan University alum Tristan Taormino. Long time Blue Blood readers will probably recall that we published Tristan Taormino’s erotic fiction and wrote up her delightful tome The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. Although she and I have sometimes, alas, had missed connections, Tristan Taormino will always have a soft spot on my heart for getting me my first book deal when she worked at Masquerade Books which published my Backstage Passes: Rock and Roll Erotica from the Pages of Blue Blood Magazine anthology.

The cover of this issue of Tattoo Teasers, along with a five page feature inside, features pornstar Joanna Angel from web site Burning Angel, which I mentioned here before in my AltPorn Rankings article . Joanna Angel also appears in various photos here and there on Blue Blood and she got her Escalade stolen at Erotica L.A. this past weekend. I guess I am pretty glad Blue Blood chose not to exhibit at Erotic LA this year. What a messed up thing to happen at a convention with thousands of people around. I hope she gets it back undamaged.

There is some filler in there too, but there is so much cool stuff because the Tattoo Teasers magazine is edited by his Satanic Majesty Bob Johnson, editor of Old Nick Magazine and author of Corporate Magick: Mystical Tools for Business Success. I actually first met Bob Johnson at an adult internet industry convention back when he was at Playboy and had taken note of Blue Blood’s early forays into satanist erotica over on BarelyEvil.

Naked Girls Smoking Weed – Best of 420 Girls is a compilation of photographer Rob Griffin’s favorite images from his 420 Girls site. From the site tour, it looks like the 420 Magazine peeps got bored of updating much once they had this coffee table book out. You know how distractable stoners are.

Before the stoner-identified among you all make notes to send me hate mail, so you won’t forget to, allow me to state categorically that I feel strongly that pot should be legal. I think that making something, that most people do illegal, just teaches disrespect for the laws, and makes it a lottery whether someone’s life will be taken entirely off-track in a horrible way over kind of nothing. I am well-aware that caffeine is a drug and I’d be pretty sad if iced lattes got legislated against. I’d probably keep drinking iced lattes too, under those circumstances. We should have reasonable laws and enforce them. I truly believe that, if anti-drug laws on the books were genuinely rigorously enforced against all law-breakers for even a little while, those laws would all be changed. Rob Griffin, the mastermind and photographer behind 420 Girls, got a felony conviction for pot in Maryland in 1992. Being in the DC area, he was politically-aware and upset that this meant he lost his right to vote. In 1993, he says he was inspired to start 420 Magazine both to raise awareness and cover and entertain stoner culture. The 2003 crackdown on the sale of paraphernalia such as glass pipes demolished his advertising base, so he turned to the pay site business model. Voila, 420 Girls became the pay site you can join today. I really like that Rob Griffin says he is on a mission from Mother Nature and I always appreciate a good combination of education and entertainment.

Oh, and, while it is not my choice recreationally, you can be damn sure that, if I ever need chemo, I will be getting a medical marijuana prescription immediately because being nauseous is one of the things I like least in the universe. (Did I mention I live in Hollywood and California is awesome?)

Getting back to the hotness . . . the 420 Girls site still boasts thousands of photos of really hot girls, many of whom you’ll definitely either recognize or sit up and take notice of, including Lexi Belle from BlueBlood VIP, Bella Starr of EroticBPM fame, pornstar Charlie Laine, fetish goddess Brittany Andrews, and a bevy of other sexy 420 beauties.

Rob Griffin’s photography showcases an intimate side of these naked women, not just because they are nude, but because there is something very personal about his photographic style and compositional approach. The scenarios vary with some girls strolling nude through what looks like a forest of marijuana and some just building little Close Encounters mountains with it. Others toke up using everything from glass pipes to a giant plastic bag contraption I can’t begin to guess the reason to use just to smoke pot. Sometimes the paraphernalia is what makes an activity extra fun. There is just something really entertaining about tools and accessories.

Happy 420, everyone.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno, a Kevin Smith romantic comedy starring Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks, just came out on DVD. I hear there may have been some difficulties getting an R rating which caused some of the trash talk dialog I expect and love in Kevin Smith movies to be toned down. Now it would be easy to focus on how flawed the porn video business concept in the movie is (The whole business plan is to market to an email list they do not own.), but the point of the movie is really to be a lewd When Harry Met Sally. A recurring theme in Kevin Smith movies is realizing that the woman a man should love and appreciate most is perhaps right in front of him. So the movie is fine as a romantic comedy. It is not as hilarious as Clerks or as emotional as Chasing Amy, but it is solid enough.

The really remarkable thing about the movie is that Kevin Smith is good at making porn. It is no secret that I tend not to care for most video porn product. (This oddly gets me many job offers to make mainstream adult video product. Porn Valley is weird.) But I did say that I would excuse almost any obscenity if Jason Mewes did full frontal nudity and, although I would have preferred it if he were visibly hard, Jason Mewes is indeed nude through quite a bit of Zack and Miri Make a Porno, including a full frontal nude scene. The DVD has an extended version of the more appealing (not involving excrement) sex scene between Katie Morgan and Jason Mewes. Most of the rest of the cast is transfixed watching them have sex on the coffeehouse counter. And it is honestly surprisingly hot.

During the scenes where Jason Mewes’ character Lester is supposed to be banging the strip club waitress Stacey cast for the Zack and Miri’s porn movie, it certainly seemed like they were actually having sex. I had to look up who the actress playing Stacey is and it turns out she is Katie Morgan. Katie Morgan has excellent comic timing. Or perhaps Kevin Smith can just direct the heck out of a blonde big titty porn chick. At any rate, her acting is at least as entertaining and nuanced as anyone else in the movie, but Katie Morgan is apparently best known for having been in a couple hundred porn movies. Is that cinema verite?

The other really hot moment in Zack and Miri Make a Porno is when the two stars, Seth Rogen’s Zack Brown and Elizabeth Banks’ Miri Linky, are supposed to be doing it for the camera. Only they have a real moment. When Elizabeth banks says she is going to come and invites him to come with her, it is a really believable and beautiful piece of film-making. Genuinely hot and sexy and I would give any porn flick with a scene like that two thumbs up.

So go figure. A cautionary note: If a porn star named Brandon St. Randy, played by Justin Long, at your class reunion tells you he makes $100,000 a year, there are a few things to keep in mind. First of all, a pornstar who once got paid $1,000 for a scene will do special pornstar math and decide that means he or she makes $365,000 a year because there are 365 days in the year. For the very physically fit or twink dynamite, gay porn pays on-screen talent infinitely better than straight porn. Transsexual porn pays even better, if you are pretty enough. There is a lot more to making dough from smut than just having sex with your best friend at your place of employment, but isn’t finding love a better outcome anyway?

PS The merch for Zack and Miri Make a Porno is really inspired.

So I was chatting with my pal Anders from the band Anders Manga yesterday. I had just been looking at some snapshots of us partying together at a Hollywood hotspot just off Hollywood Blvd. When I say Hollywood hotspot, in this instance, I mean a place variously called White Lotus, The Ritual Supper Club, the local bus station, etc. where A-listers like Mark Wahlberg can go to bang porn stars cast for the next season of Entourage on HBO. At any rate, I’ll post the pics shortly and add a link, but Anders and I were just talking about this and that and he asked if I had heard from Jennifer of The Nuns recently.

Descended from Welsh royalty and initially known as Jennifer Miro in the earliest 1970’s incarnation of The Nuns as a seminal punk band in San Francisco, Jennifer steered the band in a more gothic direction over time and was variously known as Jennifer Anderson or Tiffany Tarantula or Maitresse Jennifer. The Nuns were huge in San Francisco and opened for bands like The Ramones and The Damned and were even on the bill for the very last Sex Pistols show. Jennifer also had a role in Dr. Caligari, the seminal cinema of transgression film from Stephen Sayadian and Jerry Stahl, who were also responsible for Cafe Flesh. However, Maitresse Jennifer or Mistress Jennifer is probably best known to members of the Blue Blood boards as the Blue Blood hottie who asked all the most interesting questions about love in the kinky tumultuous world of fame, wealth, and rock and roll.

[13:10] Anders Manga: hey have you heard from Jennifer? from nuns?
[13:10] Anders Manga: she vanished?
[13:11] AmeliaG: not in ages. I was in pretty regular contact with her, so I wonder if she got married or sex murdered
[13:11] Anders Manga: i heard her friend in the band was murdered in nyc
[13:11] AmeliaG: eep, forget I just said that particular conjecture
[13:11] AmeliaG: that’s creepy

I was just thinking that Jennifer, like a lot of superstar hotties, will disappear when she gets into a new Relationship and reappear when it ends or has trouble. I wish people would not exit their normal day-to-day lives and relationships when they are in love, but it is pretty common. That is what I had assumed had happened. Now that I’ve read a bit more about what was going on at the time, I’m kind of worried.

Apparently, in the fall, Mistress Kris who performed with The Nuns and appeared in many photo shoots with Jennifer was murdered at a hotel in Times Square. Times Square in New York City is supposedly gentrified to the point of Disneyfication. I think a Disney corporation even covered the financing on a bunch of the un-sleazing of Times Square. Nonetheless, the Hotel Carter still stands and is still open for business from vagrants and creeps. At least as recently as 1999, Hotel Carter was the sort of establishment where the front desk personnel might be killing one another with a knife or hammer, and housed the sort of nightclub that Sean Puffy Combs and Jennifer Lopez would have to flee after a shooting incident. In the 80’s, Hotel Carter was the place to throw a half-dressed bound woman out the window. I’ve always liked the word defenestration but not approved of the practice.

At any rate, a housekeeper found poor Kris’ nude corpse wrapped in plastic under the bed, after a guest named Clarence Dean checked out. Clarence Dean was already wanted in the State of Alabama for (a) failure to appear for a property theft trial and (b) a rape charge and (c) not keeping the folks who track convicted sex offenders aware of his whereabouts. Apparently the vile Clarence Dean had been found guilty of attempting to do horrible things to a nine-year-old girl in Florida, but he had not maintained his sex offender registration. He was also accused of meeting college girls via online dating sites and then raping them. According to the New York Times, Clarence Dean also had prior convictions in Texas and Tennessee for sex-related offenses. Apparently, Clarence Dean got to New York by stealing the car and credit cards belonging to the Tennessee woman he was supposed to be helping care for as a home health aide. (The only other person I’ve ever heard of stealing from the person he is supposed to care for, in this sort of situation, is one of the very worst people I have ever had the misfortune to meet.) Clarence Dean’s ill-gotten gains could only take him so far because he was forced to stay at the Hotel Carter because it was bargain-priced at only $99.23 a night before tax. Consider how expensive Manhattan is if $99 a night gets you a place described by the AP as “a threadbare accommodation that stands as a throwback to Times Square’s seedy past . . . for budget travelers who don’t mind insects, grimy bathrooms, stained furniture and broken telephones.”

So anyway, the whole thing is totally appalling. It appears that the perpetrator of this awful deed is probably standing trial round about now and may get the death penalty. Certainly, given his long rap sheet, Clarence Dean does not sound like a candidate for rehabilitation and no amount of remorse on his part, if he had it, would bring Kris back. To be 100% even-handed, I’ll mention that Clarence Dean’s brother apparently claims the guy is a simpleton who is being framed, but I can’t think what the motive would be for the New York City police to frame a fugitive serial sex offender for murdering a hot girl from a goth band.

At any rate, I hope Jennifer is okay. Does anyone know how she is doing?

Okay, Flavor Flav is officially off my TiVo queue. For those of you who haven’t been following his post-hip-hop reality television career, here is a quick recap. Flav appeared on the TV show The Surreal Life. I’ve never seen it, but apparently they picked oddball assortments of celebs such as Vince Neil and Gary Coleman and the not-dead dude from Milli Vanilli and did stuff like send them shopping at my local grocery store. Leggy blonde bombshell Brigitte Nielsen appeared on the show the same season as Flav and they had a relationship, at least while the cameras were on, and this spawned a spin-off show called Strange Love, which I’ve only seen clips of on Flav’s newest venture Flavor of Love.

Full Disclosure here: I usually limit my reality show viewing habits to The Apprentice, but I watched the entire first season of Flavor of Love (and the first couple of America’s Next Top Model so long as I’m letting it all hang out.) The basic conceit in that eighteen or twenty chicks go to a house where Flav supposedly lives alone and lonely but for his extremely competent butler and maybe whoever drives the stretch limo SUV. They compete for his love because all he wants is to really connect with someone real. The episode where Nielsen visits shows how ludicrously more chemistry he has with her than any of the contestants. At the end of the first season, he chose the game-playing girl he supposedly hadn’t banged yet, but who had given him some non-penetrative threesome shower action. Apparently he then banged her, didn’t hit it off with her, and they parted ways, except for a contractually obligated and tepid season reunion.

The first season of the Flavor Flav-produced Flavor of Love show, I was kinda buying the story that he was looking for love in a singularly modern and peculiar way, but doing it genuinely. This season, it comes across way more like he is just a typical womanizer in love with being in love but no way willing to be with one woman in a real give and take relationship, no matter how many times he proclaims his love and deep emotional connection.

But tonight took the fucking cake. (Actually, I think the show first ran a couple days ago, but VH1 was coming through sort of static-riddled, so my TiVo only just picked it up again.) This season, Flav supposedly chose the girls himself and he has some kinda fucked up but interesting and egalitarian taste in women. So I expected to be even more entertained. Now Flav likes slutty women and clearly prefers girls who are down for getting busy with him and one or more other girls at the same time.

So he gets this one girl nicknamed Toastee and this other one nicknamed Nibblz (because they have to blur out her nipples in most shots) to curl up and spend the night with him. Toastee says she doesn’t like to share, but mentions casually to some other girls later that she got the impression Nibblz gave Flavor Flav some manual satisfaction. Now, if you took a general sampling of the female population, a decent number of them would give a member of a seminal group like Public Enemy a hand job without a lot of provocation. Narrow that sampling down to a chick competing to be his girlfriend or wife on a reality show and I kind of think less of any of them who wouldn’t take the opportunity.

So, because this is reality TV and has to have conflict above and beyond even interweb drama, Nibblz swears to the other girls that she didn’t jack Flav off and blows a total gasket and goes and tells Flav . . . wait for it . . . not that Toastee is spreading lies about their sexual canoodling . . . nope, (probably because Toastee knows a jerk-off when she hears one) instead, Nibblz tells Flav that Toastee is a pornstar and can be seen naked online on Barely Legal and on “VHS”. Who the fuck makes movies for VHS any more anyway? I mean, I have a player, but I don’t even know if it works at this point. Mind you, Nibblz has already told Flav that she has modeled nude and has a stripper pole in her living room and the implication is that her day job is dancing.

So Flav goes and asks Toastee if she specifically has done “boy/girl porn” and she says she has modeled and modeled nude, but, no way, no how has she ever done anything she would consider “boy/girl porn”. So, to cut a story longer than I intended a bit shorter, Toastee says she wants to quit the show and Flav tells her that she should stay, so long as she is telling the truth. Flavor Flav finds a solo nude shot of Toastee, tries to humiliate her by holding it up in front of all the contestants, and refuses to let her speak before leaving. He might not have personally liked that specific image. They blurred it out, so I don’t know. But he totally lied to that Toastee girl. He told her unequivocally that he would keep her on for at least another episode so long as she was telling the truth and it turned out she was telling the truth and he still booted her. If he doesn’t like wild girls who like to get naked, he needed to choose a whole different line-up of women to compete.

So, in conclusion, I generally applaud anyone with a strong and unabashed personal style. When my homeboy Lange and I met Flavor Flav in Vegas, he was gracious and pleasant. I know that a lot of what happens on reality shows is more scripted than real. But, as Flav gets top producer credit, real or scripted, I hold him responsible for presenting himself as a double standard-having, sexist liar. And, because I thought he was cool, I’m disappointed. Flavor Flav’s got problems of his own. And he needs to fix himself before he is ready for a real relationship with an honest and real, threesome-loving, fast food-eating, non-materialistic, and non-jealous woman.