69 Eyes have released a video for the debut single off their forthcoming Back in Blood album. The video is called Dead Girls are Easy. It is sort of an 80’s sleaze rock video homage where the 7/11 clerk fantasizes about the hot gothic girls who prance through his store in the midnight hour. In his fantasy, the goth chicks turn out to be vampires who take him for a ride in their black as night car (a 70’s boat style Cadillac), gangbang him, and of course turn him into a vampire. Oh yeah, and the 7/11 clerk turns out to have a slammin’ bod hidden under his horrible orange uniform and he looks much hotter under blue light. Really, everyone looks hotter under blue light (See The Matrix, Underworld, and probably around a quarter to a third of my own photographic body of work.) Then the clerk wakes up and is it a dream or isn’t it? Sort of classic rock video/fairytale storyline.
For some reason, the Dead Girls Are Easy video has been released exclusively for Playboy so far. There is (alas) no nudity in the video, so I assume other outlets would have no problem with it.
Dead Girls Are Easy is directed by Bam Margera. I am embarrassed to say I had to do a search on his name, but he is an awfully accomplished guy. Bam Margera is a pro skater who most notably co-created Jackass and appeared as a primary character in Tony Hawk’s Underground video game from Activision.
I feel like I won back some awareness points, however, when I read the Playboy article about the 69 Eyes video and some of the accompanying text read, “The band may be from Helsinki, but their sleaze-rock sound is straight up Hollywood—think GN’R or L.A. Guns plus the cartoon horror of the Misfits. For the lyrics on the new LP, the 69 Eyes drew inspiration from vintage vampire soft-porn classics by directors like Jean Rollin. Their obsessions come to fruition in Bam’s video, an undead spin on the concept of ZZ Top’s “Sharp Dressed Man.”” I’m absolutely with them on the Sharp Dressed Man comparison, but, uhm, Hanoi Rock anyone? Hanoi Rocks was incredibly influential on the Hollywood hair metal or sleaze rock or whatever people want to call it this week’s scene. And, yes, Hanoi Rocks originally hailed from Helsinki, although it was the drunk driving death of their drummer Razzle in a car crash with Motley Crue’s Vince Neil at the wheel which most pundits agree kept the band from superstardom. Hanoi Rocks’s lead singer Michael Monroe was so ridiculously hot that I once had a girl at a solo performance rock show he performed try to fist fight me for being closer to the stage than she was. In point of fact, at a time when America is primarily marketing ironically uncool altrock and faux wholesome pop, Scandinavia is keeping the homefires of rock and roll and rockstar incandescence burning properly.
Anyway, 69 Eyes. Dead Girls Are Easy. Vampire gangbang sex.
Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I’ll tell you what I’d do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That’s it? If you had a million dollars, you’d do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too; ’cause chicks dig dudes with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well, the type of chicks that’d double up on a dude like me do.
Peter Gibbons: Good point.
Lawrence: Well, what about you now? what would you do?
Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Well, yeah.
Peter Gibbons: Nothing.
I was going to edit one of the awesomest exchanges in the very awesome Mike Judge movie Office Space to reflect the fantasy of four vampire chicks at the same time, but I figure you all get the concept.
What the Duck is the best comic strip anyone has ever done about photography. Now Blue Blood readers, unless they are viewing the site with some sort of high tech braille conversion computer, are familiar with my more professional lit studio and location photography of rock stars, freaks, and naked people.
I also sometimes like to do, uhm, personal work, where I take my snapshot camera out on the town with me (and sometimes rock stars, freaks, and naked people.) In order to achieve my distinctive brand of party time nightlife photography, I do not look through the viewfinder and I keep the display turned off. I do my best work of this type when alcohol is involved.
I’m not much of a drinker, but I can tear it up from time to time on special occasions. Prior to the age of digital photography, I thought I had never blacked out from drinking. I mean, there was never a dead hooker in my bed in the morning and, in the absence of dead hookers, it is difficult to remember not remembering. Since the advent of digital photography, I’ve been made aware that sometimes less booze equals more memories. For example, I was giving my buddy Gonzo grief for not having introduced me to famous, err, computer wiz Kevin Mitnick when we were all partying in Vegas. Unfortunately, Gonzo was able to produce digital photographic evidence of us hanging out.
At any rate, I was first exposed to What the Duck when my brother emailed me the accompanying webcomic because it made him think of me and specifically my painting the town red snapshots. My brother is a professional photographer and he came across the strip because another professional photographer told him about it. When comic strip creator Aaron Johnson is asked whether he is a photographer, he replies, “I’m 40% photographer, 60% Photoshopper.”
Not to in any way belittle the importance of post-production in modern photography, but Aaron Johnson is 100% hilarious and insightful cartoonist. If you’ve ever picked up a camera for art or business or know too many people who have, the humor in What the Duck is very very spot on and funny.
Have a good weekend and make some good memories everyone. Don’t forget your camera.
I have a confession to make. You probably know I’m opposed to piracy. I’m especially opposed to the kind of modern large scale digital piracy which makes it pretty much impossible to make a living as a midlist band. The internet is great for giving nowhere bands a shot and it rules for creating record-breaking manufactured pop and blanketing the world with it. But it is a polarizing medium and, in the faint spotlight of the computer monitor glow, midlist bands have either rocketed to wild success or more frequently withered on the vine.
But nobody is perfect and I have committed piracy on two occasions. Ironically, the first was when The West Wing had a special episode with a fictional candidate political debate and I missed it. It was going to be at least a year before the debate came out on DVD or Instant Play on Netflix, there was no download option either on the official site or Amazon Unbox, and I wanted to watch the following episode. Technically, I was not the one who downloaded it off a torrent site, but I did knowingly receive stolen property.
The second time was when the Axl Rose project Chinese Democracy was leaked. I missed it the first time Antiquiet posted it, but I listened to it one of the times it was repeatedly re-posted in the Antiquiet comments. I could say that maybe there was some kind of justification in my head because I liked the writing style on Antiquiet. But really I took it for the same reason most people steal — I wanted it and there was not another way to get it.
I was terribly disappointed in what I heard. Appetite for Destruction changed my life and I sure didn’t hear anything life-changingly good on there. In fact, it seemed like averagely professional hard rock with a little self-indulgent wanking which might impress some musicians with its difficulty, but not with its quality. Possibly fine for a titty bar, but nothing to write home about. Of course, the fact that GNR super-fans almost couldn’t help but be disappointed with everything after Appetite, it is easy to understand why Axl Rose took 572 years to complete the album.
The FBI arrest and ensuing indictment of Kevin Skwerl is most likely being downgraded to a misdemeanor. Hopefully, if they don’t let him cop a plea, they will at least put the trial on Court TV or whatever it is called these days. I want to watch jurors rock out to a variety of different versions of the same series of hard rock ditties over and over. The various authorities who got involved in the Chinese Democracy leak i.e. lawyers, FBI, etc. asserted, among other things, that the leak was damaging because none of these songs were the final mixes. There seem to be other sites with live versions and other nonfinal versions of some of the songs still live, but the one with the best SERPS is in Vienna, so maybe nobody feels like taking it up cross-Atlantic. Whether the whole thing about nonfinal mixes was said to make sales or because it was true will be revealed. Now that the title track single “Chinese Democracy” has been released for radio airplay, I’d have to say that this song, at least, sounds like a different mix.
So, if you were a real big Scorpions fan back in the day (or are a ironic big scene Scorpions fan now), you may keep thinking you are about to hear “Rock You Like a Hurricane” on the radio, a lot in the near future. The song “Chinese Democracy” sounds a lot like a sorta modern “Rock You Like a Hurricane” meets “Mr. Brownstone”. Well, sorta modern. It sounds pretty retro, but in a likable way. On November 24, whether or not there is a Court TV broadcast, everyone will be able to decide if they’d like to check out the actually final final mixes on the long-incubated songs on Axl Rose’s debut solo project. I think Axl Rose is brilliant and I love love love his voice, but, let’s face it, GNR with just him is as much Guns N’ Roses as the current Led Zeppelin reunion where the shows will be performed by a bunch of Futurama-style preserved heads.
Gidget Gein (born, Bradley Anne Stewart) lived his life to the fullest,and touched countless people with his art, music, and multi-layered persona. He was a dear friend, and a close collaborator, who gave his all to projects but never lost his remarkable sense of humor. I met this amazing man just shortly after he moved to Los Angeles. Our mutual friend, Lenora Claire, introduced us when I was interested in casting him in one of my films. I was immediately struck by his whole aesthetic and by his humble personality. From that moment on, I was smitten with him and we grew to become friends and created some art together.
Gidget was best known to most people out there for his contributions to the band, Marilyn Manson, and more specifically Marilyn Manson and The Spooky Kids. He performed bass and wrote music, but it was his authentic style and aura that would later become so vital to the whole Manson aesthetic. All internal band politics and hearsay aside, his creativity would peak later and in all honesty, it was in his solo work that he would craft his own voice.
Fueled by pulp novels, blaxploitation, B-movies, pop art, drag queens, pornography, religion,and racism, Gidget began painting, silk-screening, and drawing amazing art that would become an essential part of the underground UnPop Art Movement. He played in his own band, The Dali Gaggers, for quite awhile, and also recorded solo musical projects, designed his own clothing line, Gollywood, and so much more.
His acting was amazing and his quirks made him all the more endearing. The two roles he played in my films are eerie to me now, for apparent reasons. I was very proud of him for embracing the acting bug, and more than anything else for the fact that he was clean for 9 years or so. He had been so strong and no matter what, always remained a bright and powerful force. He could always make me smile. His sense of humor was sick and twisted, but also very innocent. He was such a tender and sensitive soul. Any trouble or pain just drove more negativity into his heart, and there was apparently more hurt there than anyone could imagine.
There is no forgetting Brad. There is no way to sum up his influence or magic. There is no way to let him go. Gidget Gein is art. He is rock and roll. He is a dear friend and a cultural icon.
Full disclosure: I kind of liked that Buckcherry song “Crazy Bitch” when it briefly played on the radio in Los Angeles. Not sure if it played elsewhere or not. As I recall, Prodigy’s “Smack My Bitch Up” only got airplay in limited markets, so not sure if the word bitch impacts distro. Given that their label Eleven Seven Music is some sort of Warner subsidiary or other corporate term meaning a certain kind of backing, I guess they might not have had that much trouble with distro in 2006, but I didn’t note it at the time, so I don’t know. New factoid I learned today: Apparently, Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue is at least the nominal president of Buckcherry’s label Eleven Seven Music, which was founded by longtime music industry guy and master of marketing innovation Allen Kovac, a man who can probably think of the way to backdoor distro, even if a major label backer is gunshy. (Now I get why Motley Crue would tour with Buckcherry. That Nikki Sixx is smart. One of these days, I need to get with the program and start collecting royalties off of people who wish they were me.)
Although the “Crazy Bitch” song has some lyrics about enjoying an insane lover’s cat scratches, Joshua Todd has reiterated in various interviews that he does not actually like it when groupies come up to him and trying to put scratches all up and down his back. Seriously, people need to think about what they are doing before they start putting marks on someone with extensive body art. Yeah, they may be more likely to be into it, but they may also be stressed out about damaging their skin decorations. Additionally, even touring musicians, who look like they like to hang with the ladies, may not appreciate being sent home with marks of their guilt.
I have not watched the “Crazy Bitch” explicit version video carefully enough to pick out whether I know anyone in that one, but I remember when they were recruiting for it. Unlike their “Too Drunk to Fuck” song, Buckcherry actually shot an entire different video for the boobies version of “Crazy Bitch”. I am deeply not someone who normally thinks it is better to leave something to the imagination, but the nonnude version of “Crazy Bitch” is simply way way way hotter. It kind of fits better too because the nonnude version features the band being rounded up and dominated by naughty policewomen and the topless version features strippers dancing unenthusiastically in a strip club, while Buckcherry’s lead singer hangs out in the bathroom by the urinal.
When Forrest Black and I shoot naked people, we always try to stay way inside someone’s comfort zone. I like to stop short of what I think is the farthest someone would be comfortable and way short of the farthest they could be pushed to. Having thought about it for a day, I think that part of the problem is that Buckcherry’s management or record label or both are pushing them beyond their comfort zone. Joshua Todd looks almost charismatic when he is being dominated by a clothed policewoman, but he just looks scared and uncomfortable with naked breasts in the room with him. (Example linked after the jump in the comments, only for board members who have filled out the free signup and are of age.)
Then again, he did still participate in what I believe may be the absolute most pathetically awful example of a rock ballad ever performed. The only reason I say “may be” is that I can’t stand to listen past the first couple of notes, but it is the “OFFICIAL Sorry” video.
“Most of us are just living a lie
That’s why we get fucked up every night”
–Buckcherry, “Too Drunk To Fuck”
Please forgive me, but I like to fantasize that my dirty glam rockers are never too drunk to get it on. Well maybe occasionally, if it makes a really good story. But I can’t help wondering if Buckcherry don’t have some kind of problem with women. I don’t mean that I suspect they might not be thoughtful feminists. When, circa 600BC, I masturbated approximately 80,000 times to the “Welcome to the Jungle” video, I never once fantasized that Axl Rose would be perfect for a relationship. Or even an interesting dinner conversation.
The reason Motley Crue did an album like Girls, Girls, Girls is that the job of properly utilizing a pole while dancing is very similar to the job of being a dirty glam rocker. They felt an affinity. Whatever else one might think about the Crue, I don’t think anyone wondered whether they feared the vagina dentata, or worse yet, were frightened of the boobies. As a teenager, I saw Vince Neil ask the New Haven Coliseum (it could have been the Hartford Civic Center, but I think it was New Haven) who was the best piece of ass in the building. I was vaguely unsettled when the biker next to me appeared to be offering up his girlfriend and I went back to my dorm room and wrote an ethnomusicology term paper about how I wouldn’t fuck Vince Neil with someone else’s pussy, but, damn, that was some fine showmanship and entertaining rock and roll.
The thing is that good music should transport one and good musical showmanship should go even further towards that goal. I think the only Motley Crue video I ever masturbated to was “Looks That Kill” (and that was really more about the chicks than the band members), but, as a frontman, Vince Neil had more than a good rock and roll voice and a cute outfit. Vince Neil could rock a stadium because he could sell the fantasy. As alcohol is reportedly Vince Neil’s poison of choice and he has done time for drunk driving and all, I would guess he has had occasion to be too drunk to fuck. But he doesn’t sing about it. The dirty glam rock fantasy is one of a party which never ends, where the titans of rock are always down for one more round. I’m sure Vince Neil has also caught a cold before and been too feverish to get out from under his blankie. But he doesn’t fucking sing about it.
This is why, no matter how expensive Joshua Todd’s ink is and no matter how many sit-ups he does, he will never be as cool as Vince Neil. What kind of emo ridiculousness is it that the record labels are trying to sell Buckcherry as raunchy current hard rock and they turn around and try to foist this whiny nonsense on us? Do the record labels really understand that little about what rock fans look for in a band?
If you are wondering why I actually watched a Buckcherry video on purpose, I confess it is because I heard that Blue Blood hottie Bella Vendetta was topless in it. Don’t bother pushing play on the YouTube version, though, because apparently the part with the breasts is only on Playboy. I thought nudity in a video like this would be pushing the envelope, but I was just disappointed. The naked girls are actually never once in the room with the band and the dressed girls are frankly also pretty far away from the musicians. In fact, the house party Buckcherry are playing in for the vid appears to be quite the sausagefest. All put together, there are only maybe half a dozen females anywhere in the building. They try to get some alt-y MySpace cred by having a somewhat scene-looking girl as the viewpoint character in the video, but she shows up with a homely dude who passes out on her, and I assure you that that is no girl’s erotic rock and roll fantasy.
Apparently, the nude parts of the video were shot in a hotel room far away from the guys in Buckcherry. I know at least one person who has had sex with a member of Buckcherry and didn’t hate it. I’ve photographed this Buckcherry-boning individual naked, so I can affirm that she has girl parts. But what band avoids being present when the video babes are shooting? It is part of the job, when fronting a hard rock band of this stripe, to at least be able to fake like you enjoy the rock and roll party.
Director/pornstar Joanna Angel gamely offers up a press quote about the directors of the Buckcherry video being nice enough to let her shoot some of the breast footage. Now I don’t follow adult film closely, but I’m 100% positive that Joanna Angel has won AVN awards for either her porn direction or her porn performances or both. In my opinion, she is the one doing Buckcherry’s lame directors a favor by providing them with footage of boobies, including her own. Unfortunately, whoever edited the topless bits into the original cut of the “Too Drunk To Fuck” video, didn’t really include anyone’s faces. For example, I am familiar enough with Bella Vendetta’s body that I can assure you she is in the video, but her head is cut off in every shot. WTF? Who directed this this anti-rock, anti-woman, sex-negative video screed anyway?
I don’t generally mind it when dirty glam rockers dehumanize women. They are supposed to be about a certain sort of wild sex fantasy and not necessarily about progressive thinking. But, if they are both shallow and sexist and unable to keep the party going, what is the point?
Okay, this is just plain awesome and entirely made my day. I am mostly familiar with Kerrang! for being the well-written and well-photographed hard rock magazine which used to cover a lot of the bands who played Taime Downe’s late lamented Pretty Ugly nightclub in Los Angeles. Apparently, on the other side of the pond, Kerrang! also does radio and television and such. One of their on-air personalities is Nick Margerrison who does a show called The Night Before.
I’m not sure what astronauts have to do with hard rock, but I guess MTV’s early call sign video interlude involved the moon landing, so maybe it all just fits together in some secret cosmic way. At any rate, Nick Margerrison was interviewing astronaut Edgar Mitchell, on Kerrang! Radio, when the famous astronaut casually pointed out that life definitely exists on other planets and aliens have visited earth. The obviously usually-smooth Nick Margerrison is kind of like ha, ha, wait are you serious? He sort of sputters and says wow a lot, while waiting for his interview subject to admit he was kidding.
Astronaut Edgar Mitchell: “We’re not alone in the universe at all . . . The UFO phenomenon is real, although it’s been covered up by our governments for some time.”
On-air personality Nick Margerrison: “I’ve had crazy UFO nuts before, but I’ve never had Dr. Ed Mitchell, the 6th man to walk on the moon, a respected scientist in his own right, announce to me that we’ve been visited by aliens from other planets and they definitely are out there and there’s no debating it . . . I’m just wondering if I’ve stumbled on astronaut humor and in a couple minutes you are going to go I was only pulling your leg.”
The Apollo 14 veteran astronaut goes on to point out that he grew up in Roswell and we really did have aliens come to Roswell, New Mexico in 1947. He says there are aliens who conform to the popular concept of little humanoid creatures with big heads and big eyes. Additionally, we are lucky the aliens are not hostile because we’d be totally gone by now if they were. The record-holder for longest moonwalk ever says that some governments are going to be declassifying their UFO information soon and implies that, in preparation for this, the Catholic church issued a proclamation that
“Belief in life on other planets does not compromise your Catholocism.”
Even more awesome than the conversation between Nick Margerrison and Edgar Mitchell is the conversation between The Night Before producer Alex and the NASA media rep. Kerrang! had the balls to post their producer’s call to NASA where they asked if anyone from NASA wanted to come on the show and comment on Edgar Mitchell’s assertions. Kerrang! did have the consideration to bleep the publicity person’s name and email address though.
NASA PR Person: “He said that? Okay, what do you want me to say to that? . . . That an astronaut said that there were aliens? . . . Let me see who would be willing to dispute what an astronaut says.”
Although the NASA guy says he will get back to the show, he never denies what the astronaut stated, just says he needs to find someone willing to dispute it. As it turns out, apparently no one was willing to go on the radio to refute what the devil-may-care 77-year-old astronaut had to say. NASA merely emailed the show saying,
“Dear Alex,
NASA does not track UFOs.
NASA is not involved in any sort of cover up about alien life on this planet or anywhere in the universe.
Dr Mitchell is a great American, but we do not share his opinion on this issue.
Thanks for the opportunity to comment.”
Is Dr. Ed Mitchell telling the whole truth, senile, or pulling a damn funny practical joke? There’s just no way to know, but it makes for great listening. Kerrang!’s interviewer asked him if he was worried for his safety, blabbing stuff like this.
Astronaut Edgar Mitchell: “I don’t think they are knocking anybody off for that any more.”
Blue Blood’s SpookyCash webmaster affiliate program sent yours truly and Forrest Black to the XBiz Hollywood show. As the XBiz show was this past weekend, I was reminded that I had some entertaining snapshots to post of the fun we had. (Footnote: Webmaster affiliate programs are what people with sites reaching thousands of visitors use to, ya know, make money.)
The first night of the webmaster show, we went out to dinner with my friends Lange and Warren. I tried to convince them to go to a restaurant called Koji’s. Koji’s serves sushi and shabu and features pretty good food in a kind of weird mall setting. Some of the same folks who Disneyfied Times Square built a structure called Hollywood and Highland adjacent to the venerable Mann’s Chinese Theater and across from the Disney one and the historic Roosevelt Hotel. Hollywood and Highland features a variety of paid street performers dressed as costume characters and it is a mall, but Koji’s is tasty. Nonetheless, when Lange and Warren realized I was directing us through a mall, they nixed Japanese food and peer pressured me into going back across the street to Hooters.
I’ve never been to Hooters before, but there had been an open bar by the Roosevelt Hotel pool earlier, so I was feeling tipsy agreeable. At the time, we all thought our waitress was super hot. Warren offered to put her in Penthouse and she giggled and he was like, “no, seriously, I’ll put you in Penthouse.” It seemed like she thought he was joking, but he wasn’t. Warren really does shoot for Penthouse. Actually, come to think of it, Forrest Black and I have both shot for Penthouse as well, but Warren has the uber hook-up there to the point where a party at his house isn’t over until the pool is chock-full of Penthouse Pets. Some place I have the snapshots to prove that too. But not at Hooters on this particular night. Now that I look at the Hooters snapshots, the waitress looks only okay. Maybe she smelled really great. Maybe Lange just had her keep the beer flowing to the point where I also thought Hooters food was surprisingly delicious. (More on this later.)
We went to a party after this at The Ritual Supper Club. I think the primary occasion for the party was the CyberSocket gay web awards, but Stella Artois says I may or may not be particularly specifically accurate on this point. The Ritual Supper Club has been known variously as Ritual, White Lotus, the local bus station, etc. and is a Hollywood hotspot where A-listers like Mark Wahlberg can go to bang porn stars cast for the next season of Entourage on HBO. Luminaries in attendance included Chi Chi LaRue, Anders Manga, Joanna Angel, Mario from Stockroom, Halcyon Pink, Ashley Steel, and of course Forrest Black and Amelia G.
XBiz then threw a really cool seminar with talented filmmakers Joone and Andrew Blake. I tend to be really turned off by most of what the mainstream of Porn Valley churns out, but Joone and Andrew Blake are seriously good at what they do and bring a real artistry to their work. Later there was a really painful speech from one of the guys responsible for the Penthouse acquisition. He was going on about his mainstream credentials and, although he has an impressive background in some respects, I just think of maintream as a pejorative. And I find it really tiresome when people make a huge distinction between what they perceive as their adult work and their “mainstream” work. I always wonder if they just think they can phone it in as soon as exposed breasts are involved. Monetizing media is monetizing media. The reason so few adult videos produced can touch Joone or Andrew Blake is that some people think they do not have to bring their A game if nudity is involved. Heck, some people even believe they should not. I’m personally a fan of doing a good job of whatever one does.
I certainly know some club kids who are fucking awesome at being fabulous club kids. Forrest Black and I ran into journalist Gram Ponante as we snuck out of the Penthouse keynote. We had a conversation about some of the more wannabe upscale webmaster events. I have started skipping this variety of velvet rope-oriented shindig, even though I adore some of my friends who attend and throw such parties. I’m fine with genuinely upscale and I’m fine with a real velvet rope whether it is glam rock disco or casino VIP, but I only enjoy such things if they are the real deal. I tell Gram that I like my club kids to be professionals and that watching internet professionals mack at being club kids is not my idea of a good time. This lead to me being horrifically misquoted, but, hey, at least I made the front page his site and it was kinda funny and we were all operating on not a lot of sleep.
For an example of an event I was definitely down for, Vic DiCara from the seminal Hindu-infused hardcore punk band 108 took a whole bunch of us out to dinner afterward and we had a really great evening. Ross Horowitz of Shoot Out the Lights fame drove me, Forrest Black, and his beautiful companion over to Koji’s. Now you all might be recalling that I mentioned walking to Koji’s at the beginning of the weekend. Yes, it was walking distance and, no, we were not that partied out, but Ross just bought a black Rolls Royce, so it was imperative that we drive to Hollywood and Highland. After making me go to Hooters, Lange of course was the first person I saw when we got to Koji’s and I gave him grief about it, but forgave him when he introduced me to photographer Chris Cuffaro whose band photography I had published in Blue Blood magazine in print years ago, but who I had never met in the flesh before. Unsurprisingly, given the proclivities of the guest list, we all talked about music most of the night. At one point, Vegas Ken from The Best Porn told an anecdote about working in an emergency room and maybe not being startled by the horror in the same way that probably no one at the table was startled by naked people any more. But mostly we chatted about music and music biz.
I forget whose party we went to after that, but the next afternoon found us at Hooters again. I had not been to eat at Hooters twice in my entire life. We had lunch with a plethora of cool folks on the various days of the XBiz webmaster conference, but Hooters made the buffet brunches at the Roosevelt Hotel seem yummilicious. And they were not particularly gourmet buffets. Hooters food is absolutely revolting if one has not consumed the proper number of refreshing adult beverages beforehand. The weird MSG-style flavor enhancers at Hooters made my tongue swell and the flavor of everything I tasted there seemed sickening. Forrest Black consoled his annoyed tummy after Hooters with the purchase of a stuffed Kuromi plush. In the unlikely event that you are somehow unaware of this, Kuromi is Hello Kitty’s new punk rock gal pal with the fetish hat.
In conclusion, after enough beer, Hooters chicken wings and shrimp are tasty and Hooters waitresses are delicious, but you really need serious beer goggles to eat that food. Well-prepared Japanese food, Rolls Royces, and Hello Kitty dolls may be enjoyed while entirely sober. I think this may illustrate some of the quintessential truths of the universe.
I handed Gene Simmons his laundry once. This was more than ten years ago, so my memory is a bit murky, but, as I recall, I may have both handed him his clean laundry and picked up his dirty laundry to run back to the stadium. It was one of my last gigs as a stagehand. I was a runner. A runner is someone who will work for stagehand wages but has a working and ideally presentable car. At the time, I had already mostly transitioned into doing contract design work, corporate presentations and that sort of thing which paid better. My car actually was not terribly presentable, but some of the staff for the KISS tour recalled a nicer-looking (but less reliable) car I had owned at the time of an earlier gig and they liked me. I took the job because they had specifically requested if “the girl with the kinky zines” was still available. Plus working at a rock stadium was generally pretty sociable and fun, especially at a job which, unlike many I’d done there, was unlikely to cause injury.
I was never a member of the KISS Army or anything and my parents felt the KISS logo was unacceptable Nazi regalia and boys who wanted me to like KISS (and them) had always played me “Beth”. I guess guys always think the chick will like the power ballad better than the rocker, but it always struck me as really ill-conceived to try to seduce a girl with a song about blowing off your girlfriend. (Talk about “Lick My Love Pump” being in the saddest key!) I did think KISS had some fairly listenable music, but I was not crazy familiar with them either.
So, when my runner job afforded me the opportunity to watch part of a KISS concert, I didn’t have a ton of expectations, except that I’d vaguely thought they wore their makeup different. I missed the whole trauma the hardcore KISS fans endured when the band went from monster makeup to hair metal makeup. They are probably the only band in the history of the universe to get less pussy after donning hair metal makeup than they got without it.
Regardless, the thing which struck me most when I worked for KISS was that there were ridiculously hot unfamiliar girls at the show. Like super hot and super into the band. And, at the time, I was at least minimally acquainted with a pretty high percentage of the hot sluts in the DC/NoVa/Baltimore area. So it was surprising to have so many incredibly hot metal chicks at a KISS concert and not recognize any of them from other events I’d been at. I commented on the anomaly at the time to everyone I mentioned the show to, but I didn’t understand what the likely reason was that there were such hot girls there who I’d never seen at shows by Guns N’ Roses, Skid Row, Poison, Aerosmith, Warrant, Kix, Child’s Play, and countless good-looking national and local bands in related genres.
I joked at the time that the band must bring the girls with them or something. This went way beyond just what a band bringing groupies from the last city would entail, but it didn’t occur to me that it really would be beneficial for a band like KISS to in fact hire a hottie crew. A lot of their fanbase was homophobic, but there were persistent rumors that their lead singer Paul Stanley was homosexual or bisexual and Gene Simmons had this demon fuckmonster persona where he lived out fans’ male adolescent fantasies, so, from a PR perspective, it really would have made sense for them to cast some amazingly hot women as enthusiastic fans and pay them to come on tour at cheer them on. I mean, sports teams have cheerleaders and that is kind of the same benefit. The only difference is really that cheerleaders have uniforms and everybody knows what their roles are, but hired rock fans are kind of more disingenuous. The first time I photographed someone who made rent pretending to enjoy The Rolling Stones in concert, it was like I found out Santa Claus was a lie. Actually my parents never lied to me about Santa Claus, so I think I got that childhood trauma at a later age, when I realized that rock n’ roll was kinda dishonest.
The music industry has a long history of putting fake publicity out there. The habit greatly pre-dates rock and roll. It is ironic that the internet has put such a damper on music sales. On the one hand, the web has made it so much easier to disseminate dishonest presentations of self, but it has also made it easier to steal the music industry’s primary product. So, the industry is taking a huge hit to the wallet at the same time that its PR machine has destroyed any trust music fans might have had. Their disingenuous behavior makes it hard for anyone to feel much sympathy for the record industry.
It seems obvious to a teenager that a squeaky clean band might have a dark secret life, but it is less obvious that someone might be drinking apple juice out of a Jack Daniels bottle on stage. At this point, I pretty much disbelieve anything stated more than twice in any press release. I figure whatever they are trying to sell me is probably a lie. I used to listen to music every day and base large portions of my life around music and music-related events. But I’ve lost my faith.
So a site calling itself Gene’s Secret launched this week with a seven or so minute video purporting to be of Gene Simmons fucking some blonde. A couple of clips from the video have also been circulating the web and blog empire Gawker received a cease and desist from Gene Simmons’ attorneys for running them. If you care, the sex is not particularly inspired or emotional and the blonde actively avoids kissing the KISS bassist and they are apparently doing it to the dulcet tones of Steve Perry. Gawker feels the clips are sufficiently newsworthy as to not require them to comply with the C&D. Now I could go off about celeb sex tapes and Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee and Fred Durst and why these types of videos tend to have unappetizing sex and why our Puritan society refers to anyone in one as B list and what is wrong with a society which invades people’s privacy like this. But I’m not going to because I, perhaps cynically, believe that the whole thing is an orchestrated publicity stunt. I have no faith that this is a real stolen video or that the subjects did not know they were being recorded or that any of what is being presented is remotely as real as WWF.
At first glance, some people felt the Gene’s Secret Gene Simmons sex tape was a hoax and utilized a lookalike. I mean, there are an awful lot of KISS cover bands, so I can understand how people would believe it would not be hard to find a Gene Simmons demon lookalike. Through the Manatt law firm, Gene Simmons confirmed the authenticity of the sex tape but denied that anyone but Gene Simmons’ Allied Industries corporation should be able to profit from it. Nonetheless, the video is still live on the Gene’s Secret site, which one would assume would be the first target for a C&D. If this reminds altporn fans of when a site called SuicideGirls unsuccessfully pretended it was not really them licensing their content when they decided to resell unretouched versions of photosets they had promised models they would not resell . . . well, it reminds me of that little fiasco too. (Full disclosure: At the suggestion of SuicideGirls head honcho Sean Suhl, Blue Blood has previously consulted with the law firm of Manatt, Phelps, & Phillips.) Both scenarios feature a lawyer letter which purports to be trying to stop the distribution of the content, while simultaneously giving the content authenticity. Of course, this is the internet, so Gawker promptly posted the C&D on their tech industry blog Valleywag under the heading “Gene Simmons lawyer confirms sex tape’s authenticity“. While this may prove that the man in the video is in fact the tongue-wielder from KISS, it doesn’t prove that the whole thing is not a hoax.
The Gene’s Secret site features the following copy:
“This isn’t Shannon, this isn’t the same Family Jewels that you can catch on late-night cable. This is Gene giving you his best on screen performance yet! Find out all the benefits of being the spokesperson for a the latest energy drink, Frank’s Energy. Although it looks like Gene would rather gulp done one of Frank’s Energy Girls! . . . What is Gene’s Secret? Actually, it’s a WHO, and she is a hot little Austrian babe, named Elsa. She is a model, and one of the Frank’s Engery Drink Girls, a brand which Gene endorses (apparently to fuel his sex drive.) Elsa and Gene party like rockstars, and we have it all here, EXCLUSIVELY on GenesSecret.com.”
Now, I’ve never heard of this energy drink before, but I’m guessing a lot of people, who never heard of it before, have now heard of it. Most of the copy on the membership site tour is about how Gene has a reality show called Family Jewels and he uses this beverage. Celebrity sex tape site tours usually have a lot more text about how you just have to see this video and you should sign up now now NOW! This tour seems less interested in making sales and more interested in telling everyone about projects Gene Simmons gets paid on. Gene Simmons keeps his shirt on during the video and most people prefer to get naked for sex or at least don’t pay attention to the clothing they have on, but a video of an older guy having sex is less embarrassing if he is wearing a smoothly adjusted T-shirt for the whole thing. A publication called AVN, which is primarily about mainstream Valley porn video, puts on an award show for pornstars every January. Last year, Gene Simmons was a presenter at the AVN awards show and AVN was apparently the first to break the news about the Gene’s Secret celebrity sex tape. Coincidence or evidence of the occult? You be the judge.
When something like a celeb sex vid scandal happens, it is hard to parse out the truth, so people tend to partly believe the whole thing is fake and partly believe the whole thing is real. So many things like this have been presented to people in the Digital Age that most people carry constant cognitive dissonance around in their heads 24/7/365 now. No wonder prescriptions for antidepressants are so common. Cognitive dissonance is painful. It is bad for society when people suffer from constantly having mutually exclusive ideas in their heads. Aside from the mental health costs, when people are used to the puzzle pieces in their brain not fitting, then they become much less able to make decisions, less able to run their own lives well, less able to vote for candidates who hold their values, less able to form lasting relationships. People may think they are just doing internet marketing, but they are causing real world damage.
I wish I believed that hot chicks, who can really strut, just want to rock and roll all night. I wish I believed that some callous big titty whore tricked a genuinely promiscuous and wild rock star into starring in his own porn video, blackmailed him, and then cashed in anyway. I wish I believed that Gene Simmons was a victim here. That might all be true, but the music industry has cried wolf too many times for me to believe any of it. They’ve put too many snake oil salesmen behind the pulpit. I wish I believed that anything in music culture was real now. Viral marketing has destroyed any trust music fans, or people who would otherwise have been music fans, might have in music or musicians.
Viral marketing might get the word out, but it has destroyed my faith.
‘Shy,’ ‘proper,’ ‘politically correct,’ ‘distinguished’ are just not the words used to describe this man. In fact, most people quite often would go with, ‘vulgar,’ ‘uncouth,’ ‘improper’ and a ‘highly charged ball of beer fueled sexual energy.’ I mean, we’re talking about a guy, whose nickname is “Sketchy.” Speaking of which, he also happens to be the only person I know who’s named ‘Racci.’ Never could a person be more appropriately named.
I met him approximately fourteen years ago when I went to go cover an old band of his from Atlanta doing a show in Cocoa Beach, Florida when I was running a fanzine out of Tampa. It was a weird venue, and honestly, the most I can remember of that night was they wouldn’t turn off the smoke machine and it made for horrible photos. We were introduced at that show, but didn’t really pass more than a few words.
A few weeks later, one of my friends, who was super into him at the time, asked me to go with her to see his band up in Atlanta, GA. I figured I’d get some better live photos than the previous shots to go with my review. I ended up being pretty much a third wheel and went out to the stairwell to drink some beer alone when my friend left the hotel leaving Racci and me on the stairway enjoying conversation. That was our very first discussion and the beginning of a very hilariously awesome friendship. All over some girl, some beer and some conversations at a Hampton Inn. You ever have snapshots of your memories? This stairwell with two people and a case of beer, is one of mine.
Skip ahead a few years, and I’m living in Los Angeles and he’s in Tampa. His former band, Genitorturers, and my former band, Triggerpimp, are doing a few shows together. We’re betting beers like poker chips, taking hilarious photos that scare even us later, wrecking motorcycles in parking lots, flashing each other from behind curtains during shows, shaving heads and more or less, catching up while having a blast doing so. The snapshot of this moment would be him and I sitting on the walkway of the Maritime Hall in San Francisco outside the bus, both drinking a Pabst, covered in stage make-up and sweat, laughing our asses off, cuddled up under a huge jacket in the cold complaining about the gas station across the street and their lack of alcoholic beverages, i.e. Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.
Years later, he’s in Dope… Touring… More touring… Late night phone calls… I see with pride how this talented boy became an amazingly phenomenal man. I now hear his name mentioned in awe from circles of musicians and fans alike. I see his face in magazines. It’s a bit unbelievable. This boy that I would share beer with fourteen years ago would become a man known for his extraordinary talent and live show, as well as his crazy backstage antics.
Now, he’s currently touring with Wednesday 13, of Murderdolls and Frankenstein Drag Queen of Planet 13 fame, in lieu of the album Fang Bang released on September 12th here in the states. I don’t often interview friends, because they tend to make for lengthy and awkward interviews, but in this case, well, with our history, it makes for one hell of a read. Especially when we both have been drinking and there’s a ton of truth to uncover. Then again, we’ve never had to be drinking, to sling some dirt or let our hair down. Neither one of us has any shame.
So enough with the pretty poetry, time to get to the real meat of this interview. Open yourself up a Pabst, grill a steak, put on some AC/DC and rev your engines… Here is Mr. Racci “Sketchy” Shay…
TC: Is this going to be too invasive? (referring to the placement of the recording device) Racci: I’m getting a boner. TC: No, you’re not… Damn, do you smell that? Racci: Smell this. (farting) TC: That smells like lima beans. No, seriously, come on, do you smell that? Racci: Now I’m really getting a boner. TC: Is it the sexy musk? Racci: Yes, I definitely have a boner. (pauses) This is really not “professional.” TC: Um, this is Blue Blood Magazine, they like boners. Racci: Then they’re going to love this interview.
TC: Hear the tour’s going great, how much longer you out there?
Racci: I don’t know a couple more weeks and then we’re off to Europe early September. TC: Anything planned for after Europe? Racci: I’m hoping to do a lot more slut fucking. (laughing) You know, I’m kind of on a roll right now, and I’m hoping that things continue to go in that direction…
TC: Now I get asked this a lot, and I’ll admit, I’ve given some hilarious stories to this, because they never seem to want to accept the truth. What the hell kind of name is ‘Racci?’
Racci: Well, the true story is not as fun as the actual definition of the word, ‘racy.’ The true story is that my father is a racecar driver and that’s my real name and no one ever seems to want to believe it. When I was in high school people used to make fun of me for having that name and I hated it. Once I started playing rock and roll I realized that it was a pretty rock and roll name. If you look it up in the dictionary, you know, take out a ‘C’ and the ‘I’ and add a ‘Y’ and, it means, well… how should I word this? TC: (laughing) ‘Racy’ means something sexually risqué or suggestive… Racci: Yeah, this is what you do, why don’t you transcribe the definition and put it in this interview, and then we can pretend that I just said the definition. TC: Why don’t I just put in everything you just said because it’s a bit funnier… Racci: Fine, that’s actually great. I’m just a little sick and am feeling a little lazy.
TC: Anyone who’s ever been backstage at a show with you, KNOWS you always have something hilarious going on… Okay, give me a highlight reel of some of the antics so far on this tour.
Racci: (evil laughter) You realize that the tour manager across the room just smiles from ear to ear, from having to put up with it. Here’s an interesting story of what just happened in Cleveland. (The tour manager then starts laughing and leaves the room shaking his head.) I had, I don’t know, about a dozen girls or so on the bus, and I’m raising hell listening to David Allen Coe… TC: (laughing) Wait, which song? Racci: Oh, who knows? We celebrate his entire catalog. Anyways, I began singing one of the songs through the tip of my penis, so my penis is actually singing the song… TC: (laughing loudly) Racci: Then I started playing the banjo part with my penis, like my penis was the actual banjo. TC: Well, your penis has a lot of… diversity… Racci: Yeah, well, we’ll get to that in a bit… TC: (laughing) Why are you calling it a ‘penis?’ it’s big enough to be called a ‘cock.’ You can say ‘cock.’ Racci: I would say that only you would know, but you know, a lot of other people know that as well. So if you say so and they say so, then fine, I have a ‘cock.’ So back to the story… TC: Yes, so you were playing banjo with your cock, or better Racci’s playing banjo with his cock… Racci: (laughing) Yes, so some people on the bus got disgusted and left… TC: Disgusted by you? Racci: (laughing harder) See that’s how I thin out the herd, to see who can deal with the ‘sketchy’… TC: To see who’s the dirtiest hooker on the bus? Racci: Exactly, or ‘hookers,’ plural, specifically plural. TC: Did you have to slutpunch any of them? Racci: I slutpunch them all in the baby maker all the time. TC: (laughing) Racci: So, I figured I would test the waters, picked up a bottle of Jack Daniels, and slammed the rest of it. Sit in the middle of the room and then pissed in the bottle. One or two more people left the room when they saw that. Then I said, “All right here we go”. I tipped the bottle back and drank the piss, and about five people left. I figured who was left was ‘ready.’ TC: (laughing harder) Racci: See that’s how I test out the sluts, to make sure that they are ‘Sketchy Worthy,’ you know? If they are “down with the sketchiness.” TC: (laughing) Racci: There are just too many stories to tell. (laughing) I have this costume I like to put on. Like I’ve got my rebel flag thong and I have a rebel flag that I tie around my neck as a cape. Wednesday and I went to a toy store like a week ago and bought ourselves some kid’s police riot helmets. So that’s now my official super hero costume, after the sketchiness, and when I want to get everyone off of the bus. I’ll crank up “Battle Axe” by Quiet Riot really loud and try to aggravate the fuck out of people. Usually doesn’t work though, it usually backfires. They all just grab me and rip the costume off me. TC: (laughing) Yeah, I can imagine how that could happen.
TC: For the people, who are just hearing about you for the first time, give them a little Racci 101…
Racci: Back in the early 90’s, I was in a gothic/glam/metal, whatever you want to call it, called Shok L’Amour. From there I went out and spent about five or six years with the Genitorturers which were glorious years of debauchment. After that, I spent five seasons with Dope. Then Wednesday and I were partying one night at a Genitorturers show in Orlando and we destroyed the dressing room. He started smashing coffee pots and I took a shit in the middle of the room. Gen got a little mad, but she knows that it was ‘Sketchy’, and “Racci’s going to do what he’s going to do.” You know, like, the old saying “Does a bear shit in the woods?” It’s more like “Does a Racci shit in the dressing room?” TC: (laughing) Yes… Yes, he does. Racci: (laughing) So we decided it was time that we play together and it’s been full throttle ever since. We’re just having fun. I’ve enjoyed all of the bands that I’ve been in, but there’s been a lot of ‘seriousness’ that went with that. Not to say, that we don’t care about what we’re doing, but right now, we just want to have fun. We just want to be Motley Crue on the Shout at the Devil tour and that’s just what we’ve been doing. We’ve just raised hell, total hell so far.
TC: As an often touring musician who really loves his job, what’s the hardest part about being on the road?
Racci: Fucking sound checks! Jesus Christ! I’d like to be specific with that. It’s the ‘Hurry up and wait!’ That is the most painful thing about being in the music business. PERIOD. Its always “We’ve got to go. Got to go! Got to go! Got to go! (pauses) Okay, now wait here for the next hour.” It doesn’t matter if you’re on tour, in the studio, at a photo or video shoot. It’s the same old scenario. (pauses) No, actually, the worst thing about touring is when all the booze is gone and it’s 5 AM and you can’t get anymore. Bus calls are pretty shitty, too. Say, if you are on the back of the bus with a “special young lady”… TC: “Special friend” Racci: (laughing and doing a Spinal Tap parody) “Yes, this is my ‘special friend’ Cindy…” TC: (laughing) Truly? Racci: (laughing) Yes, truly. You know when the bus starts to crank you realize you got to hurry up and do the deed, or else you’re going to be in the bunk by yourself with a laptop later. I do that anyways, but I’d rather just appreciate the moment in the moment. I love doing these types of magazine interviews. Blue Blood rocks.
TC: You’ve played a lot of shows with a lot of other bands through out the years. Who are some of the coolest people to share a stage with?
Racci: I think the coolest person I’ve got to share a stage with is probably one of my best friends, and that’s David Vincent. (Editor’s note: David Vincent is the bassist of Genitorturers.)You know, it’s so difficult to just do one story about him. Actually, I have a good story for you. You might have to condense this a bit. Once upon a time, I had to drive a car down to Tampa for a friend from Atlanta. So I went down and spent a week with David and Gen. (This was when I was in Dope.) We went out drinking and got really hammered, and the drummer that was in the band at the time, Angel, was in the back seat. So we’re driving this car around that doesn’t belong to me. I have no registration, no insurance on it, no nothing. We’re driving in an area that is known for a lot of prostitution, and David goes “Let’s go back to my house real quick…” So we go back to his house, and then he gets back into the car and says, “All right, let’s go back…” We drive back to where these prostitutes were and these are transvestite prostitutes. I’m talking about the most ugly men with tits you’ve ever seen in your life. David then pulls out this cherry bomb that he got in Tijuana when he was on tour with Morbid Angel, and it was like literally a quarter stick of dynamite. So we pull up beside these prostitutes, calling them over to the car, and as they start walking over to the car Dave lights one throwing it out the window. This thing sounds like a shotgun going off. KABOOM! They hit the ground. We take off. It was all good and fine, at this point, but we decided to do it again. You know, there’s police everywhere because it’s a known prostitution area, but we have to do it again. Next thing you know, there’s a cop coming. So I “Dukes of Hazzard” it down this street, then pull down another street, about the time I got to my third turn there’s like thirty cops blocking us off. They then get us out of the car and spread us over the hood. The cop, now, he’s a good ol’ boy, and we’re good ol’ boys, and he says, “I don’t know what the hell you do up there in Georgia, but we don’t throw firearms and rockets and stuff out of a car down here.” (laughing) We said “Look, it was just a prostitute and we were just razzing them.” And the cop says “I know we have a big problem with prostitutes here, but you can’t be throwing dynamite at a prostitute.” TC and Racci: (laughing) Racci: So amazingly enough, Dave explains that he only lives a few blocks away and the cops let us go. So we got off. That’s one of my many favorite David moments. Sorry David.
TC: Do you find a lot of Genitorturers and Dope fans getting into Wednesday 13?
Racci: Of course there is a lot of Dope fans into Wednesday 13, from years back, when there was a little, debacle between Edsel and Tripp being in the Murderdolls. What a lot of people don’t realize that I was in the original incarnation of the Murderdolls called The Rejects. So it’s kind of like a close-knit family that has some bad blood because Tripp and Edsel hated each other at the time. At the end of the day, though, the fans translate over. As far the Genitorturers fans go, I think, I’ve seen a lot of Genitorturers fans out on this tour, but most of them are people who knew me from I was in the band, and that’s the main reason they’ve come out, because it’s more of a family type of thing, a society, that people are involved in. But there are some similarities that I think that Genitorturers fans could appreciate in Wednesday 13.
TC: Okay, you’ve done this officially in a few mediums and forums, but there seems to still be a lot of confusion amongst the fans… Dish it; what’s the dirt on Dope?
Racci: (whistles) I’m going to say for the record, right off the bat, a lot of people have been asking me on this tour why I quit Dope. What I’ve been saying and what really keeps me from opening my mouth up too much, is a great analogy. Have you ever fucked someone for a really long time and you just got really sick of fucking them and had to just go and fuck somebody else? That’s kind of where I was. You know, it’s like, during that time while you are fucking somebody, all you do is argue because you get bitter about this or that, and it’s like, you just kind of need to move onto something fresh. I mean, I could go on all day with things that I disagreed with one or other members of the band, and I’m sure that they can do the same. It’s definitely a shit-slinging scenario that neither them nor I are interested in getting into, but I think that’s really the bulk of it. Sometimes you just need to go fuck somebody new. Nothing like some good strange.
TC: So what does the future hold for Racci?
Racci: I am hoping in the couple hours to be having sex with you. TC: (laughing Don’t you mean licking my ass like a bowl full of ice cream? Racci: (laughing) Yes, maybe put some chocolate syrup on it. TC: (laughing hard) So you want my ass to be sticky? Racci: (laughing) It’s going to be when I’m done with you. TC: I really shouldn’t expect too serious of an answer to this one. Racci: No, no you really shouldn’t.
TC: To be interesting, I’ve come up with some name association questions for you. Basic gist, I say a word and you tell me the first word that comes to your mind. Normally, I would only ask for just one word, the first one that comes to mind, but I feel with you, well, I have to bend this rule. So just how about the first sentence that comes to mind.
Racci: Yeah, that’s probably best.
Steak: Pabst Blue Ribbon Pabst Blue Ribbon: Steak David Allen Coe: “Don’t bite the dick that fucks you honey” Star Star: “I’ve got a lover with a nylon grip, and I’m still loving that same old pig” Sketchy: I am Chick-Fil-A: The best food, next to pussy, I’ve ever put in my mouth Matches: Usually in the end of my cock TITAYS!!!: HEY BALLS!!! (laughing) Cock: cum on her face Slutpunch: Straight to the baby maker!!! Spinal Tap: “These go to eleven…” Caddyshack: “Gunga galunga gunga galunga” Tommy Lee: Sometimes you just have to answer these seriously. He’s the biggest influence on my career.
TC: Okay, now for some “Either/Or’s”…
Ramones or Misfits: Misfits Kiss or Motley Crue: Motley Crue Creepers or Converse: Recently, Creepers Jack Daniels or Jagermeister: JACK FUCKING DANIELS Pabst or… (pauses) Okay, fine, I’ll just give you that one.: That’s fine by me! Drinking or Dope: Definitely drinking Chick-Fil-A or Steak: Chick-Fil-A Ron Burgundy or Ricky Bobby: Ron Burgundy because he’s the balls. Racci or Sketchy: Right now, I’ll officially say ‘Sketchy’ is back.
TC: Okay, here’s a hypothetical question… You drink yourself sober, and as you are calling it a night, down comes a your fairy rock father. He sits down next to you and says, “I’ll grant you three wishes and allow you to make one law.” You turn to him and say…
Racci: Three wishes AND a law? A law? TC: (laughing) Yes, you know those things you love to break. Racci: (laughing) Well, for the wishes… One, I’d want another bottle of Jack Daniels just so that I can see if I can get any more drunk. Two, I want a slut. Three, I want another slut. And the law is, “When the cock comes out its time to start fucking.”
TC: So are there any pieces of advice or wisdom you’d like to share before I call it a night and we get back to drinking some Pabst?
Racci: Yes, because we need to close this out properly. I have some quotes that I live by, and I would love to share them with others.
In the immortal words of Mick Shrimpton, from Spinal Tap, “As long as I have sex and drugs, I think I can do without the rock and roll.”
Also from Spinal Tap, from Viv Savage, “Have a good time, all the time, and if you can’t fuck them, then fuck them.”
Then my own personal words of wisdom:
“When in doubt, just throw a turd.”
“When people piss you off, go shit on their porch.”
and, the most important…
“Suck it.”
That’s it this interview is over.
Wednesday 13 European Tour Dates:
Oct 4 2006 11:00P Magasin 4 Brussels
Oct 5 2006 11:00P Mean Fiddler London
Wednesday 13 US Tour Dates opening for Alice Cooper:
Oct 20, 2006 Jim Thorpe, PA Penn’s Peak
Oct 21, 2006 New York, NY Roseland Ballroom
Oct 23, 2006 Washington, DC Warner Theatre
Oct 24, 2006 Lakewood, NJ Strand Theatre
Oct 25, 2006 Rochester, NY Auditorium Theatre
Oct 27, 2006 Reading, PA Sovereign Perf. Arts Ctr.
Oct 28, 2006 Atlantic City, NJ House of Blues
Oct 29, 2006 Boston, MA Orpheum Theatre
‘Shy,’ ‘proper,’ ‘politically correct,’ ‘distinguished’ are just not the words used to describe this man. In fact, most people quite often would go with, ‘vulgar,’ ‘uncouth,’ ‘improper’ and a ‘highly charged ball of beer fueled sexual energy.’ I mean, we’re talking about a guy, whose nickname is “Sketchy.” Speaking of which, he also happens to be the only person I know who’s named ‘Racci.’ Never could a person be more appropriately named.
TC: To be interesting, I’ve come up with some name association questions for you. Basic gist, I say a word and you tell me the first word that comes to your mind. Normally, I would only ask for just one word, the first one that comes to mind, but I feel with you, well, I have to bend this rule. So just how about the first sentence that comes to mind.
