I once melted off various chunks of my hair because I wanted to have white stripes in it and was chatting with a friend while leaving 40 volume bleach in my hair extra-long. Parts of my hair were literally reduced to mush. Fortunately, I have thick hair to begin with and I was wearing it in stripes anyway, so it didn’t look as disturbing as it might have otherwise.

My best friend in ninth grade had naturally platinum blonde hair and I saw Heavy Metal that same year. Seeing white-tressed Tarna chopping off heads in her leather underwear was a formative moment for me. Whenever there is a real albino in a movie with humans (as opposed to cartoons), they often end up being a villain. I think the whole lack of pigment thing strikes some people in a primal off-kilter way which makes them associate it with danger.

Punk rock hairstyles are partially based on trying to evoke this response in others. I know, I know, you have a blue mohawk solely because you like how it looks, and you totally hate it when anyone stares at you in the street or when you frighten annoying passers-by or when anyone thinks it is sexy.

Maybe I wouldn’t have a thing for dangerously sexy if I hadn’t seen Heavy Metal when I did. But, not a lot of English language movies came to the theater in the country I was living in at the time, so I was going to go see whatever came through, whether it was an old movie or R-rated or even if it was a wretched doomed romance movie. I suppose, given that I still hate doomed love flicks, and I saw those at the same formative age, perhaps Heavy Metal is not wholly to blame/credit for my adult tastes.

So I admit that I watched and enjoyed the first season of America’s Next Top Model where the cool sorta rivethead chick with the good work ethic won. I stopped watching ANTM some time during the second season when I suddenly realized that Tyra Banks was appallingly egocentric, sadistic, and disingenuous and wasn’t really trying to select a top model at all. How this took me until the second season I do not know. Maybe it is something about Tyra Banks. Many years ago, when Trya Banks was a big deal model but not yet a brand, a sibling of mine scouted her for his modeling agency while she was on a date with John Singleton. Without noticing that she was, ya know, already a model.

So ANTM has apparently made it to its thirteenth season now or “cycle 13″. I guess they do more than one season a year. Part of each season includes an episode where Tyra dominates the wannabes by forcing them to get disturbing makeovers they have no say in. A lot of people (well, a portion of the people who don’t have pay cable and thus watch The CW) are all in a tizzy because Tyra Banks had three of the contestants this year get bleached kind of albino, eyebrows included.

Now I think albino features are seriously hot, but why is Tyra Banks suddenly all about albinism? A couple of models currently making a splash include Shaun Ross and Diandra Forrest, both from the Bronx. If Shaun Ross and Diandra Forrest were from Tanzania, however, their lives would be much less fabulous. Albinos in Tanzania have been being hunted. Tanzanians have been systematically murdering albinos and chopping off their body parts to harvest for supposed medicinal or magical properties or maybe for fun. These sorts of creepy things are difficult to parse when they happen in an alien culture. I think of Tanzania as a happy place with interesting animals because my grandparents lived there when my grandfather was helping Tanzania learn to utilize their leather resources. (Yes, leather, the apple doesn’t fall that far from the tree.) But I guess it has its downside. Ugh. Anyway, the Tanzanian government announced this week that it will be getting tough on albino killers and hanging some soon. Hopefully that is a deterrent. Positive Exposure is an organization working to help the victims of albinism discrimination in Africa.

Anyway, I think white hair looks lot. And soon it may even be sort of in. I would prefer, however, that fashions I like come into style because of factors other than genocidal events. But that’s just me.

People often like to get me alone and confide that they would really really love to pose nude for me but they are concerned about their future careers. When I lived in Washington, DC, I just took this at face value. I’m proud of how I have lived my life. I was class president in 10th grade. If I felt like running for some community office, I don’t think I would be daunted by my – gasp – association with artistic and activist depictions of naked people. Nonetheless, I understand how someone who aspired to be a beltway insider might be concerned about limiting their career options. But I live in Los Angeles now. These are actors, models, musicians, and celebutantes whispering to me about how they crave to have their bodies in front of my lens. But they can’t, they just can’t. Maybe the conversation is titillating and erotic for some people. I don’t know. It isn’t for me.

Did getting naked on camera hurt the careers of Marilyn Monroe or Sharon Stone? How about Ewan McGregor or Bruce Willis? I’m not even going to take a stab at naming naked models because there are nudes in existence of every single successful high fashion model I can think of. Tyra Banks devotes a whole episode of America’s Next Top Model to getting wannabe models to get naked. Has on-camera nudity hurt the careers of Madonna or Marilyn Manson?

When it comes to entertainment careers, the public’s response to nudes is generally either positive interest and applause or a complete lack of awareness. Except of course for poor beleaguered Fred Durst, but the public’s brutality for him is a subject for another article.

Do you usually watch mainstream pageants? You know, the kind where kinda regular pretty girls walk around in bathing suits and say they want to become veterinarians because they love children? Thinking about it, didn’t posing nude and having the photos run in Penthouse cause one Miss America to be stripped of her crown? Yes, yes, it sure did. That Miss America is Vanessa Williams. To the best of my knowledge, Vanessa Williams is the only Miss America to have a real entertainment career, starring in movies, recording albums, and being directed by some of the top people in the world. Wow, I bet she cries herself to sleep at night every night, knowing that she won Miss America and is the most famous person ever to wear that crown, but, like, some officials don’t count her win. Because Penthouse ran some photos of her looking sort of sensual with another woman.

Does this remind anyone, besides me, of something going on in the tabloids today? Donald Trump publicly chastised Miss USA, the winner of a pageant he owns. A lot of people had, not only never heard of reigning Miss USA Tara Conner (whose name I found by Googling +“miss usa” +lesbian), but they had never heard of the Miss USA or Miss Teen USA pageants. How convenient that it was Miss Teen USA Katie Blair who Tara was making out with. Now Trump can get promo for both pageants at the same time. Had you ever heard of Miss Teen USA before? Ever watched it?

Tonight, on The Apprentice: Los Angeles, the product placement is apparently supposed to include Playboy. There is also a tabloid rumor circulating that Playboy offered Miss USA Tara Conner the opportunity to pose for the magazine. Gee, but didn’t Trump threaten to strip the pageant queen of her crown if she didn’t straighten up and fly right? How could Hugh Hefner buddy up to Donald Trump on his show and simultaneously try to corrupt his virginal pageant lesbians?

And the most famous Miss America is Vanessa Williams, the Miss America who canoodled with another woman and had nude pictures of her published. The whole world talked about it when Miss America had her crown stripped from her and I do believe the Miss America pageant’s ratings went way up. Hmm, I wonder if the Tara Conner and Katie Blair scandal could be cynically modeled on the Vanessa Williams scandal.

Nah, what kind of cyberpunk social manipulation lunacy would have to be the norm for Donald Trump and Hugh Hefner to conspire to recreate the Vanessa Williams Miss America scandal? Oh yeah, the lunacy all around us every day of the digital age we currently live in. I should really work in television.

I wonder if television execs have to deal with people, they barely know, pulling them aside to whisper about how badly they would like to get naked for them. I guess they probably do.