This week internet superstar Fred got a last name, Figglehorn, to go with his new web site FredFigglehorn.com.

So the video above by Fred here has been viewed nearly ten million times on YouTube. According to sites which rank video views, each of the Fred videos have been viewed many many more times than that, syndicated across many sites. On YouTube, the format is called Imrov, although I’ve been told by industry professionals that the show segments are scripted, so I’m not sure why Improv is the category. Could just be because nobody knows how to categorize a lot of new formats which have sprung up via new technology. The show describes itself as follows:

“Fred Figglehorn, a six-year old with anger management issues and an alcoholic mother, uses her video camera against her wishes to posts videos to YouTube documenting (vlogging) the details of his love for Judy, hatred of bully Kevin, crush on Miss Amy, Bertha’s instigations, his annoying Grandma, his friendships with animals, and whatever else pops into his mind. The Internet’s All-Time #1 Weekly Series, with over 100 Million views.”

Of course Fred looks distinctly post-pubescent and not six, but it’s, ya know, comedy.

I understand that a team of around half a dozen people put these vids together. I assume some portion of the team is responsible for marketing, but I have not yet discerned what is particularly different or special about either the content or marketing or talent involved in these productions. Apparently, at least as presented to advertisers who might buy web tv air time or product placement, tween females are the number one demographic. Although, with these numbers, definitely not the only one.

Other than imp in the machine or perversity of the universe, I have no explanation for why Fred is an internet sensation. He doesn’t make my skin crawl or anything, like he does some folks, but I don’t really get it either.

Anyone want to take a shot at hypothesizing why Fred is the most popular boy in internet television?

A while back, I asked the Blue Blood boards Have you ever been fired from a job? It probably comes as no surprise to anyone that most of our members are extremely talented and conscientious and hardworking, yet have personality, err, quirks which make it hard to always fit in at a job.

I know my personal experience of working in other people’s offices was that everyone always adored me for the first two weeks. I did a lot of contract design work where I would get called in when everyone was crashing on deadline, and horribly behind, and I think I got love for saving the day with my efficient work processes. Unfortunately, after about six weeks in any of these offices, I would start contemplating the fact that I wouldn’t have to go to work if I drove off the road on the way. I also had the tendency to have trouble with some of the social portions of work.

Running my own media empire, I have become more reserved over time, but I did not used to really have any comprehension of corporate culture. I mean, I could wear a suit and twist the colored parts of my hair under and pin them down, but I was still me. I would cheerfully explain to my coworkers that I thought health insurance was the big lie the overculture used to force us to live small lives. I would explain how I lived in a punk rock group house with a dozen other people, so my occasional corporate paychecks went really far, and I could afford to spend a lot of my time having adventures. I would bring in copies of first my antisocial punk rock humor zine BLT aka Black Leather Times and then later early issues of Blue Blood in print. Occasionally, I would work for a client like MTV who would specifically request back the girl with the “wild zines”, but, as most of my work was Federal contracts, government presentations, management consultant graphics, and such . . . well, I think the experience can be summed up by saying that, when I worked for EDS for a full three months, they really wanted me to work there permanently, but they also totally freaked out when I wore red stockings with a Brooks Brothers suit one day. And I’d thought I looked both especially conservative and especially attractive that day and usually I felt like I only hit one metric or the other.

I could never quite seem to match up my abilities and education with a job which really fit and challenged me and gave me room to grow. I know this is a very familiar frustration for most folks here. Sometimes the jobs which were obviously intended for trained monkeys were the most comfortable to do, more pleasant than the ones which were a whole step up from trained monkey where they expected me to be grateful for the low-end nonsense I could do in fifteen minutes and had to pretend took all day.

Forrest Black, in his quest for the perfect cheeseburger, came across the Serious Eats site. Serious Eats featured a funny article about a hot tattooed punk guy who got fired from Burger King for bathing in the kitchen sink . . . and posting it on MySpace and YouTube. The hilarious video posted above lead various Serious Eats readers to opine that he was trying to get fired.

They just don’t understand. I suspect he did not particularly care if he got fired. I suspect he has a skill set which should allow him to do something a heck of a lot higher end than work at Burger King, but somehow he never quite plugged into the right position. I think probably half the people I know, probably including myself, never quite slotted into something challenging and inspiring and really the right fit for their personality and capabilities. Sure, some people are lazy. But it takes a certain amount of effort to do your hair, take a bubble bath in the workplace, have someone videotape it, and post it all over the interwebs. So that is not laziness. It is not trying to get fired either. It’s just not having, fitting into the corporate culture, high on the to-do list, at a low-end job. Doing something amusing was higher priority. If you have ever been there, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, maybe it is still a head-scratcher.

According to 2News WTDN, the Xenia, Ohio NBC affiliate, Mr. Unstable’s BK bubble bath kind of sucked for the shift manager Karen Cragg, who apparently has only held fast food jobs and was fired, along with the bather and pals. She feels that Burger King corporate mistreated her by firing her when she didn’t even know about the incident until the sink was already punk rocker soup. She might be able to cope with some of that frustrated rage by doing something appalling for fun at her next job.

Jeepers Creepers is one of a whole bunch of movies which are now available on the iTunes platform. When the Jeepers Creepers movies came out, I really did not find them scary, but the monster was really incredibly fantastic. It looked like the goth version of Freddy Krueger from the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. Other favorite MGM movies which are now available on iTunes include Ronin, Unsual Suspects, Spinal Tap, Casino Royale, Mad Max, Poltergeist, and the classic Hang ‘Em High and Last Tango in Paris.

In the forthcoming Mirrors movie, Kiefer Sutherland plays Ben Carson. Ben Carson is a burned out ex-cop with a drinking problem, forcibly retired over a bad shooting, and alienating his family with his rage. I guess Alexandre Aja, the writer/director of The Hills Have Eyes, is, like me, a 24 fan too. Kiefer Sutherland is not battling terrorists in Mirrors, however, but evil forces who use mirrors as entryways to our world.

He goes to work in a haunted old department store where the previous night watchman may have met a disturbing demise. I would usually post the redband trailer for one of our advertisers here and assume that a Blue Blood audience is well able to handle a little gore. But Mirrors is actually a very grisly movie, so I’ve posted the standard teaser above. You can view a gallery of pictures from the Mirrors movie in the gallery section. The less faint of heart can view the good stuff after the jump below. (more…)

(Click image at the end of the article to view video)

Funny or Die is the first site in a network which hopes to leverage the celebrity of people famous in old media into celebrity in new media. Your hosts at Funny or Die are apparently Will Ferrell, Judd Apatow, Adam McKay, and Chris Henchy. I came across the site today because I heard that Paris Hilton had made a campaign ad about John McCain because John McCain had made a campaign ad about her and Barack Obama. Searching on YouTube, I mostly only found about a lot of new pages promising something to do with Paris Hilton and porn. I never searched for Paris Hilton before, so maybe there are a couple hundred new pornographic entries about her on YouTube every day. It wasn’t very helpful anyway, so I went over to Live.com search and found what I was looking for on on the Funny or Die site.

I don’t live in America, so I don’t have an opinion on the upcoming election, but I still think this video is funny. I guess the John McCain campaign made an ad where they said Barack Obama is a celebrity, like Britney Spears or Paris Hilton, but does that mean he is ready to lead. Paris Hilton is one of the many heirs to the Hilton hotels fortune and a number of her family members donated to the McCain campaign. So her whole family was angry about her being in the ad and she made a response video for the Funny or Die web site.

The moral of the story is that one should always try to avoid insulting good-looking bitchy club kids with trust funds. The least of them will make it their mission in life to get retribution for imagined slights. For an actual slight, the most successful of them will make a comedy video for a celebrity-driven web site and more than four million people will see their video dis.

Rachel Kramer Bussel has a new collection of stories out. This Cleis Press anthology is called Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. Rachel is an extremely accomplished anthologist of erotica and a vocal enthusiast of spanking.

Although Rachel’s books sell well in their category and she generally has a couple of them charting on Amazon, she hoped to increase her visibility and sell more copies of Spanked. So she commissioned an outfit called What That Noise Productions to make her a book promo video. She posted the video to a number of sites and Vimeo and Flickr both removed it. Although the subject matter is a bit naughty perhaps, there is no nudity or anything like that in the video. At the time of this writing, Vimeo had simply responded to her queries by telling her she violated their terms of service. Flickr had not responded at all.

I know, from personal experience, that Flickr seems capricious at best. There is some truly terrible photography on Flickr, of some extremely explicit material, posted purely to promote quite pornographic sites. I spent a lot of time browsing Flickr before making Blue Blood profiles on there. I was very careful to precisely conform to the way other regular posters placed their photographs on Flickr. The BlueBlood.com profile quickly grew to have more than three thousand friends. Flickr sent a warning, but they refused to clarify what exactly Blue Blood was doing that wasn’t fitting with the Flickr community standards. Eventually, after failing to answer multiple emails from us, Flickr deleted the entire BlueBlood.com account, despite the fact that clearly thousands of Flickr members liked what Blue Blood was posting there just fine.

When someone polices unevenly, it is always difficult to discern the reasons for sure. I don’t know if Flickr and Vimeo are just money-losing propositions for their corporate parents and can’t afford to have anything on there use serious bandwidth. I don’t know if more popular posts are simply more likely to get attention, good or bad. I don’t know if they just make most normal uses officially against the rules just to allow them to have an excuse to remove whatever they feel like. Whatever their lame internal rationale for this bit of unfairness is, you can view the book promo video for Rachel Kramer Bussel’s Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica here now.

So why would a video of a mildly overweight toddler dancing badly receive 518,448 views on YouTube? It immediately comes to mind why a toddler dancing very well might be popular. It immediately comes to mind why a spectacularly cute toddler dancing badly might be popular. I wish this were not the case, but it also immediately comes to mind why a grotesquely overweight toddler dancing badly would make for a popular YouTube video. No, this toddler is not related to any star of stage or screen either.

The answer is that the video is controversial. The child’s mother Stephanie Lenz videotaped her kid attempting to dance to Prince’s “Let’s Go Crazy” which was playing on a nearby boombox. Universal Music Group, which owns the copyright for that portion of Prince’s catalog asked YouTube to take the video down because “Let’s Go Crazy” could clearly be heard on it and they felt this infringed on their copyright. YouTube took the video down and that would have been the end of it, except the EFF took on the mom’s case

So Stephanie Lenz and the Electronic Frontier Foundation sued Universal for wrongly asking that the video be taken down. Today, Ars Technica, a site about the “art of technology”, posted the latest in a whole series of interesting articles on the case and its implications for all video makers. The short version of what went down is that Universal defended by claiming the EFF was using the court system to bully them out of their rights and using meritless lawsuits to further their own agenda. This is ironic for so many reasons, I don’t even know how to start to enumerate them, so I won’t. The way everything shook out, judges determined that, yes, the EFF can bring a suit like this; yes, the video could be reposted to YouTube; yes, Universal acted in good faith when asking that the video be removed; and, yes, it is a murky area of the law where fair use is concerned.

Comments on the YouTube dancing toddler repost seem to illustrate that many YouTube users have no idea who Prince or the Artist Formerly Known As Prince are. They also indicate that Universal acted with Prince’s approval and support. Given that, years ago, Prince changed his name to a pretty much incomprehensible symbol and wrote slave on his face because he hated his label so much, it is also ironic if it is true that the music label here was acting with his full agreement.

But Prince has not done so well without a music label. His allegedly official 3112 web site has been dark since June 2007. Prince was a huge artist who believed the web would take power away from the evil record companies and put it back in the hands of the artists where it belongs. Truthfully, the changing cultural landscape has moved much power from the hands of powerful media conglomerate corporations like Viacomm and Universal and transferred it to the hands of newer powerful media conglomerate corporations like Google and Live Nation. A lot of people hate music labels and the music industry, partly because of the efforts of musicians like Prince to expose their wicked ways, but most do not seem to notice that they are exchanging one master for another one with a different business model. Although we have certainly not traded slavery for freedom, it could still be a better and more enjoyable new business model for all concerned. Whether this is the dawning of an awesome new renaissance in human existence or a new dark ages remains to be seen.

As a society, we are all struggling with how to handle the explosion of amateur media and how to deal with what this all means for everything from copyright to the very existence of creative professionals. As a media creator who wants to do the right thing, I am looking forward to legal clarifications on what constitutes fair use. Fair use is very clearly defined in written works and I know it inside-out there, but, when it comes to something like digitally distributed video, the answers are harder to come by. If there is a song playing in the background at a nightclub where Forrest Black and I are shooting still photography and someone like say Michelle Aston videotapes it, do we have to dub something else over the music or is the music incidental, serendipitous, and no replacement for the original and thus just fine? Obviously, I am not asking idly. I have legal counsel out the wazoo and I don’t know the answer on this sort of thing. I know there are times when people repurpose my photographs into tribute videos and I’m not sure they have the right to do so, but I don’t ask them to stop either. I do wish they would all be good about giving credit to their sources though. If there are people on YouTube who had never heard of Prince, a popular toddler video could have made at least a few dozen of Stephanie Lentz’s friends more familiar with the Artist. I’m not sure of the legalities on some of this because nobody knows the answers on those laws until more precedents have been set. I’m honestly a little fuzzy on what I feel would be right and what would be wrong on some of these issues.

I hope that, however it shakes out, our culture is a place where creativity and artistic pursuits are more encouraged and not less. I can’t figure out if the EFF or Stephanie Lentz got any money out of this long lawsuit or just the right to repost the video of toddler Holden dancing. I’m not really a toddler person, so I hope some of you find him adorable and her creative contribution to society has a positive impact.

Finding great new music is always a good thing. It seems like it should happen all the time in this glorious digital age we are living in. I mean, artists can go straight to fans without the intervention of stodgy labels and, because everybody can post their opinion online, the fans can be the ones to say whether they like something or not. That is the utopian ideal there anyway.

When people actually go looking for music today, I think it is actually often more difficult to find what one likes. Somehow modern distribution has made it so that a very few recording artists sell record-breaking amounts of swag and tunes. Many thousands of musicians who would once only have been heard by friends can now get out to hundreds of people who appreciate what they do. But the midlist bands seem to have disappeared. Where are the solid enjoyable bands, in the genres I enjoy, who once could definitely have charted high, but maybe wouldn’t be #1 on the charts?

Without major label support, mid-sized high quality bands can get really lost in a sea of user-generated content on sites like MySpace and YouTube. MySpace, for example, allows fan profiles, so NIN shows up five times on the first page of top industrial bands on MySpace. I enjoy Nine Inch Nails, but what if I am looking for similar bands I am not familiar with yet? More on YouTube in a moment.

Given how popular music magazines once were on the newsstand, why are music websites not more popular online? I know one thing I personally do not like is that most sites devoted to music are owned by one or another record label. While I realize that there are only really six significant media companies in the world and all, these record label-run music sites seem to only cover what is on their own labels. I do not know whether they think it would be unethical to seriously comment on music from multiple labels or whether they are competitive, but there are rarely reviews. There are independent exceptions to this, but most of them are very limited in reach. Generally, the only music news is about who is sleeping with who, who is in rehab, and who is having legal problems for their temper. If anyone has any good recommendations for music sites, I’d love to see them.

I admit that I usually come across new music in one of three ways. Number one, I get a press kit about a band. Number two, said new music is done by a friend of mine or occasionally a friend of a friend. Number three, I see a band play live with another band I already like or found out about via getting a press kit or a friend being in the band.

Today, I thought I’d cruise around YouTube to see if I could find some new bands to enjoy. I quickly discovered that there is no goth-industrial category on YouTube. The options, are rock, pop, indie & alternative, rap & hip-hop, R&B & soul, country & folk, blues, electronic, jazz, classical, world music, religious, and lastly more/other mostly for random soundtrack stuff and nonspecific lip-syncing. It is not terribly uncommon for there to either be no goth-industrial category or for a site like MySpace to have one category for gothic and another for industrial. But YouTube has no punk category either and that seems pretty odd.

So I guess the indie & alternative category is the one goth-industrial music videos would fall under. When I look at the most popular indie & alternative music videos of all time on YouTube, Marilyn Manson does make the front page with “Heart Shaped Glasses“. Yes, I know that if I were a “real” goth, then I would hate Marilyn Manson and say his music doesn’t count. Yes, I know that if I were a “real” Manson fan, then my favorite Marilyn Manson album would not be Mechanical Animals. Yes, I’ve heard that Marilyn Manson may have a bug up his butt about Blue Blood for not covering him way back when or something, but sometimes a PR agency called Nasty Little Man won’t get on everyone’s good side and I really did not care for the first track on Smells Like Children. I would have checked out the others, but NLM sent me a cassette instead of a CD at a time when CDs were the norm. But I digress. If one wishes to debate whether Marilyn Manson’s artistic and political motivations come from the same creative place as Nine Inch Nails and Ministry and Combichrist, that is certainly a discussion and a half. But I’m pretty sure that finding Manson in the indie & alternative category on YouTube means that is the cat where goth-industrial bands would be, if they had any traction on YouTube.

Clocking in higher-ranked than “Heart Shaped Glasses” are My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Boys Like Girls, Boys Like Girls, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, and Good Charlotte. For me, My Chemical Romance has their moments and I like some of the later styling on their lead singer, and Lord knows not enough bands dress like that today, but I would never have expected that the most watched indie & alternative music video ever would be a song about fearing teenagers by Warner Bros recording artist My Chemical Romance with 54,130,096 views. I occasionally slow down the TiVo fast forward on video countdown shows on FUSE to watch Fall Out Boy videos. I find the stuff by Universal Music Group recording artist Fall Out Boy much more visually interesting than most of what plays on those shows, but they seem to view the world as a bleak place where nobody has anybody else’s back so you’d better just look out for number one. I find Fall Out Boy’s worldview negative in a depressing way. I’m not familiar with Sony recording artist Boys Like Girls. I enjoy Sony recording artist Good Charlotte. I’ve been ironically amused watching them evolve from “Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous” not understanding how any successful musician could complain in the Rolling Stone to “The River” where they realize that Hollywood tinsel is not genuine precious metal.

I suspect that, if I were to go down the whole all time countdown for indie & alternative on YouTube, I’d be seeing a lot of Warner, Universal, and Sony. This is not to say that tools like MySpace and YouTube can not greatly increase the social and professional reach of the individual and the little guy. They can and they do. They just also increase the reach of the big guy.

I’m okay with this. I’ve worked on a lot of successful web sites and magazines, so it makes sense that I’ve learned some things along the way and would be likely to be successful with future media projects. A record label which has worked on a huuuuuuuuge number of successful bands has probably learned some things along the way and would be likely to be successful launching future bands.

But I am troubled by the big guy pretending to be the indie little guy to make sales. Sometimes fans seem to have the notion that, because modern emo music deals with themes of feeling like the underdog, then emo bands must all be underdogs. I know that, in the movies, audiences are supposed to want the person who has worked hard all their life and always been successful to fail and the longshot who just started training to succeed. News bulletin: Warner Bros, Universal Music Group, and Sony BMG are not longshot underdogs looking for their first big break.

Maybe, if consumers did not ask large media conglomerates to be misleading and present faux underdogs, then they would not. Maybe it would be helpful if record labels and bands approached music press like professionals. Maybe it would be helpful if music journalists behaved like professionals instead of like envious gossipy children or corrupt businesspeople. Then it might be easier to find new good music. Or maybe humans are just evolutionarily incapable of adapting to the intense infostream of the internet and we are going to go the way of the dinosaurs and get extinct now.

Sorta felt like listening to some cool new music tonight. Oh well. I wrote this instead. (Note to illuminati: it might be advisable to send me some good new stuff to enjoy (or a gold parachute), before I give all the secrets away.)

Asylum comes out on DVD in a few days and this is the red band trailer for the horror movie. I am really squeamish about anything to do with eyeballs. I think I was scarred by seeing Clockwork Orange at a young age.

Sometimes the internet can be very isolating. We sit at home and, in a way, we feel connected to so many people. But not very connected. It is overwhelming and difficult to deeply connect with anyone. Sometimes this causes us to to put in-person human interaction up on a pedestal and forget what it is really like.

Now, admittedly, I went to school in Belgium for a while and none of my classmates were like the angriest Belgian gamer ever, as depicted in this video. Athene says he is the best paladin in the world. I always thought paladins were supposed to rescue virgins and helpless townspeople and such, always on the side of good, but I’m not a big World of Warcraft gamer. Maybe paladins are different in WOW. Athene appears to be sponsored by WOW gold farmers, so he must be doing something right.

Athene is equal opportunity and spices up this gaming clip with a cute shirtless guy on one side and a girl with lots of very lovely cleavage on the other. He swears really a lot. I mean, I looooooooooooove to cuss and Athene cusses way more than I do. I find the non-stop English swearing with a Belgian accent charming. Your mileage may vary.

Most importantly, Athene and friends let you experience via video what it would be like to have your unsavory pals playing video games in the living room. I still sometimes miss living in a punk rock (or other) group house where there is always a party, but I’m not missing it right now. Because I watched this video.