Got an Ebay BA & Ready for Auction Grad School
By Amelia G
May 5, 2004

When I was a kid living in the New York burbs, my parents reached a point where they looked to esteemed auction houses Sotheby's and Christie's for both items they might desire and items they might wish to unload. Mostly this process involved the purchase and sale of stained wood chests with intricate paintings and filagree on them. As I recall, my parents looked to Sotheby's more often and I have this vague, potentially unfounded, notion that Sotheby's might be vaguely more upscale.

Perhaps it is Sotheby's more advanced age. Sotheby's made its first sale at auction on On March 11, 1744, while Christie's entered the auction biz with a first sale on December 5, 1766. Of course, this means they are both older than the US. Both companies have showrooms and sales reps all over the globe. Sotheby's claims in their press materials to have come to the web first, but I take all web claims with a grain of salt, knowing how many people have copied things I've done and then claimed online to be originators.

At any rate, there are some things you can not buy on Ebay. I'm not talking about worn panties. Girls who sell their used underwear always find a way around Ebay's regulations. I'm talking about rare and special items you would really enjoy buying with someone else's wire transfer info.

Sotheby's tends to make a big deal about who used to own the item you are buying. This seems sort of silly to me, as they won't own it any more, after the auction. Christie's tends to focus more on what the type of item is.

Some upcoming special auctions I am really entertained by are Christie's "Pipe Dreams at Christie’s: The Private Collection of Pipes, Tobacco Jars & Books of Mr. Alfred Dunhill" aka Paraphenalia Through the Ages and the Really Fucking Expensive Wines auction Sotheby's is doing where they are having a pre-auction wine tasting for a mere $65. I have this mental of a coke dealer in a Brooks Brothers suit laying out lines of varied provenance on a gilded mirror and explaining that in a few hours, everyone can start bidding on pounds.

By the way, it is mandatory for auction houses to set records. Both Christie's and Sotheby's endlessly report having set records for things like selling for the highest amount ever paid at auction for a left-handed player piano possibly owned by someone historically significant or for a piece of jewelry featuring green stones and once worn by a scion of the family which patented the cotton gin.

Fine English Furniture Being Auctioned by Christie's

So, if you have had your fill of other people's excessively-photographed latex gowns and sticky fashion mags, then it is time to put aside that PayPal account and check out what you might crave from a serious auctioneer. Realize that you need a pair of Victorian Gothic oak chairs, each with a pointed arch panelled back with blind tracery, the reverse with plain panels, the sides filled with pierced quatrefoil roundels carved with the Quin crest and the arms topped by mythological beasts and the ends carved with heads and shields, with parquet seat, above a Gothic-arched apron and on square panelled legs, originally supplied to Windham Henry Wyndham-Quin, 2nd Earl of Dunraven. Click here if you would like to buy these for me to photograph naked people on.

Raise your sights and feel the motivation to excel flow into your soul. Or at least make your avarice more entertaining than the mere desire for more corsets oddly similar to the ones you already possess.