can you tell a funny joke?

as we all know everybody love's a good joke,and i love to learn new one's,so please,if ya think ya know a good one tell it.I got one,you might have heard it,but fuck it:
a guy(newfie) walk's down a beach and meet's
a woman with no arm's or leg's and start's a
conversation with her,hour's go by and things
seem to be going well when she say's it's been
a long time since she's felt a man's touch and
ask's him if he'll hold her, he say's "of course",
to that she say's "i have'nt been kissed for so
long,would kiss me?",he agree's and give's her
a passionate kiss,she almost go's insane with
lust and screams "fuck me,fuck me, i wanna
be fucked", so he grab's her and throws her
in the water and say's"now your fucked"!

I've probably told this one on here before, but it's short, and I like it:

Q: What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand?






















A: You can't gargle sand.

lmao,fucken gross.

I took a lie detector test NO I DIDNT!

What's more fun than nailing a baby to the wall?






Rippin' it down.

So far the answer is No.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. For years, they live there, and one day they find a magic lamp.

They rub it, and sure enough, out comes a genie. The genie says "since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one" So the brunette goes first, "I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and my life - I just want to go home." POOF, she is gone.

The redhead makes her wish, "This place sucks, I want to go home too." POOF, she is gone.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.

The genie asks, "What is the matter?"

The blonde said, "I wish my friends were here."

What's worse than baby in a dumpster?

Baby in two dumpsters.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by inox

I've probably told this one on here before, but it's short, and I like it:

Q: What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand?






















A: You can't gargle sand.

---

Bullshit! I've gurgled sand many times......it just depends on what you mix it with, I know!!!!

Q: What did the Hick say while having sex?




A: Get off me Pa, Your crushing my smokes!

Hey guys, sorry I disappeared for soooo long :-(.... but saw this thread and thought it a good place to start posting again.

Why did the dead baby cross the road?
.
.
.
.
.
.
It was nailed to the chicken.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by inox

I've probably told this one on here before, but it's short, and I like it:

Q: What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand?






















A: You can't gargle sand.

---

Thanks, I needed that to start the day.

Now I really must get some coffee.

What's brown and sticky?












A stick.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DonkeyMoses

What's brown and sticky?



A stick.

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oh... i thought you were gonna say Mutton (...on Sundays...yay!)

Nope. Just a stick.

Reality.

Oh sorry you asked for a funny joke. my bad.

Q. whats pink and orange and lies at the bottom of a pool?


A. a baby with its floaties slashed

Q. whats pink and orange and green?



A. the same baby 2 months later.