childbirth

Have you ever given birth?

A friend of mine from high school just had her first baby. She's been keeping everyone up to date via her Livejournal (she lives in NYC, currently), so I've gotten to see the cute little baby hats she's knitted and her ginormo swollen belly.

Yesterday, she posted about the birth. She said that the pain was unimaginably awful, far worse than anything she'd ever experienced or could have imagined and that she was so horrified by the experience that she didn't even want to hold her daughter for the first three hours afterwards. Blood vessels in her arms burst and she had second-degree tearing which was just barely second and not third (I had to look up these designations and felt really sickened afterwards, especially by how common that sort of tearing apparently is). She had been told things like "you'll feel an endorphin rush during or after the birth" and "you'll go into a sort of trancelike state when the contractions are really heavy", all of which turned out to be complete bullshit (for her, at least).

I've always been ambivalent about the idea of kids... definitely don't want any now, may or may not want any later... but this story still really freaked me out. This was a woman who couldn't have been happier about her impending baby, and yet said that after the birth was over she wasn't sure if it had been worth it (though she's totally in love with her daughter now).

So, I'm curious to hear other people's stories and reactions. Wanna share?

yeah it sucks..i mean there is no way for it not to lol
did she get an epidural? drugs are a gift from god.
I chose to have a csection and I am really happy I did, I didn't feel a thing, in fact I never had a contraction even. I think giving birth is outdated and there are better ways to do it nowadays, they've had medical advancements in every other aspect, why not take advantage of the ones they offer for childbirth?

I'm glad I'm never going have any kids.

If I were a dude, I might want kids, but pregnancy always horrified the fuck out of me, from the first time I discovered what it was.

watched someone give birth.................I found the shades of blueish red a face can turn during that final push absolutely fascinating.

Everything and I mean EVERYTHING about childbirth grosses me out. I have this friend and we used to sit around and get drunk and talk about how horrible it would be to be pregnant and have kids...and then she got knocked up. DAMMIT!

Stick your dick in, five minutes later you're out the door, they send you a bill in the mail every month. Yup, it's great to be a guy.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Morning Glory

Stick your dick in, five minutes later you're out the door, they send you a bill in the mail every month. Yup, it's great to be a guy.

---

That sounds soooooooooooooo much better to me than have a parasite in your body for nine months during which you have to forgo lots of pleasant things and barf and feel sick a lot and never be far from a bathroom, have it rip your body up in ways which can probably never be repaired and which hurt hideously, have someone who goes to the bathroom in their pants and expects you to clean it up in your house for ages, and then have to stress about supporting them for 18 years and feel bad every time they fuck up.

I was kind of being serious. I think that is pretty much the primal factor of the polarization of the sexes, it stems from their radically different roles in the reproductive process. Women are the bringers of life and men are just kind of standing around with their thumbs up their asses, so they regress back into infant mentality and they throw tantrums an also have genital fixation issues. also known as the "kill it or fuck it" impulse.

I dont have kids but I live with my best friend and she just had her second 3 weeks ago. She was in TX during her first pregnacy so I had never seen the whole thing first hand before...never cared enough about anyone else to pay attention...so over the past months I have seen up close what this does not only to your body but to your mind! I always said I didnt want kids and my friend thought if I went through this with her I would change my mind. I must say it was interesting and in a way I understand why people chose to have kids, I mean who isnt down for that unconditional love and absolute control aspect but to me thats the ONLY positives. but watching her go through it was horrific and disturbing and the video they showed sealed to deal. I was suppose to be in the room when my friend delivered but after what I saw in the class I just couldnt do it. not only does this alien live off of you for 9 months then slowly and painfully come out of your vajja...in some cases ripping you a new one...but then for years to come it is completely dependent on you. I like my good parts the way they are and my freedom just as much. so childbirth, Ill check the NO box, thank you very much.

for years I have been joking about starting a list of reason to not have a baby based on what happens during pregnancy, like the baby shoving its foot in your ribs so you cant sit down all day or the possibilty you might shit all over the place during delivery, maybe Ill make my list and put it above my bed as a reminder :evil_lol:

*I really hope this doesnt jinx me!!!* :nervous:

I had my daughter 2 years ago. And let me tell ya, they had me on so much epidural medication that I had to have my fiance hold one leg up and my mom hold the other.
The nurse told me to do it, I said I was, and she said Um... no. You haven't moved. LOL

I've seen women give birth naturally by her own choice, and known quite a few women who've given birth. I've also known women who have made the choice not to have kids, and others who've had to make the heart-wrenching decision to end life growing inside them. And yet others who have watched those lives inside them die, but not by their choice.

Childbirth is something interesting to see, in terms of attitudes. I know one girl who was sterilised in her early 20s... as soon as she could say "cut these tubes dammit." and had the medical access.

The childbirths I've assisted in, the women were not only pregnant totally by choice, but had the most positive attitudes about it I'd ever seen. They were treating the birth process as an event which they trained for, I don't mean simply taking the classes, but by exercising, moisturizing and stretching the skin in the area just before the birth and bathing their cervix in semen in the week before birth to soften it.

From a male perspective, it can be highly traumatic to see someone you care about hurting and be unable to interpose yourself, hurt the person responsible, etc. and yet it can also be extraordinarily life-affirming to see someone conquer a challenge and come out the other side sore and exhausted but also triumphant and exuberant.

I've also seen highly scared, unprepared women with no clue what's happening out of touch with what's going on, with the drugs not touching the pain, wanting to be anywhere but in the bodies they're in and suchlike. I've also seen highly motivated women tap out and get the epidural and hate themselves for it (but be the only ones who did... noone else thought any less).

Paradoxically, the ones who went for the natural childbirth did so to endure LESS childbirth and LESS physical damage. Medical intervention, even anaesthesia, CAN cause problems. Pain is the biofeedback loop to tell the uterus to contract. Stop the pain, and often times labour stops. This means drugs into the cervix, it starts to contract unnaturally and can tear. Either that or she can't feel the pushing muscles and the child has to be extracted. Or she pushes, but unaware of the angle and tears something.

I'm not judging anyone who chooses to have kids/not have kids/go natural/not go natural... I'm saying watching the process of planning things out e,g. a water birth (being underwater apparently halves the pain for the mother) and watching the difference attitude makes is fascinating.

I was thinking about that recently. Few of my generation had kids, and the attitudes of the men were far more interesting to discuss than the women.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Morning Glory

Stick your dick in, five minutes later you're out the door, they send you a bill in the mail every month. Yup, it's great to be a guy.

---

What a lame generalization. That's stupid dude. :rolleyes:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ilovechaos

I mean who isnt down for that unconditional love and absolute control aspect
:

---

Ya see, that's why I have a cat!

I think i am much happier having found my step daughter at 7,though i have friends who have born kiddies well and without too much pain.Of course it was never much of a choice my happy parts dont work for that particular purpose on account of endomitriosis.
yeah kitties i miss my copilot mancoon

well... i've never given birth, but i've known plenty who have. i was living with my mom when she was pregnant with my little brother. i remember it so clearly. it was one of the times she seemed happiest. i know nothing about the birth process, i skipped that part. i didn't want to see anything coming out of my mom.... D:
i want a baby so bad. i don't care if it hurts. i love babies, i love kids. they're annoying as fuck, but... i wanna be a mommy *throws tantrum*
i'll skip the suv, though, kthx. i'd be an awesome mom. a little fucked up, very unusual, definitely no traditional family-unit.... i'd have an awesome kid....
*-*

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bikerpunk

I've seen women give birth naturally by her own choice, and known quite a few women who've given birth. I've also known women who have made the choice not to have kids, and others who've had to make the heart-wrenching decision to end life growing inside them. And yet others who have watched those lives inside them die, but not by their choice.

Childbirth is something interesting to see, in terms of attitudes. I know one girl who was sterilised in her early 20s... as soon as she could say "cut these tubes dammit." and had the medical access.

The childbirths I've assisted in, the women were not only pregnant totally by choice, but had the most positive attitudes about it I'd ever seen. They were treating the birth process as an event which they trained for, I don't mean simply taking the classes, but by exercising, moisturizing and stretching the skin in the area just before the birth and bathing their cervix in semen in the week before birth to soften it.

From a male perspective, it can be highly traumatic to see someone you care about hurting and be unable to interpose yourself, hurt the person responsible, etc. and yet it can also be extraordinarily life-affirming to see someone conquer a challenge and come out the other side sore and exhausted but also triumphant and exuberant.

I've also seen highly scared, unprepared women with no clue what's happening out of touch with what's going on, with the drugs not touching the pain, wanting to be anywhere but in the bodies they're in and suchlike. I've also seen highly motivated women tap out and get the epidural and hate themselves for it (but be the only ones who did... noone else thought any less).

Paradoxically, the ones who went for the natural childbirth did so to endure LESS childbirth and LESS physical damage. Medical intervention, even anaesthesia, CAN cause problems. Pain is the biofeedback loop to tell the uterus to contract. Stop the pain, and often times labour stops. This means drugs into the cervix, it starts to contract unnaturally and can tear. Either that or she can't feel the pushing muscles and the child has to be extracted. Or she pushes, but unaware of the angle and tears something.

I'm not judging anyone who chooses to have kids/not have kids/go natural/not go natural... I'm saying watching the process of planning things out e,g. a water birth (being underwater apparently halves the pain for the mother) and watching the difference attitude makes is fascinating.

I was thinking about that recently. Few of my generation had kids, and the attitudes of the men were far more interesting to discuss than the women.

---

:thumb:
there's nothing i can add to this.
i just like the whole thing.
and "heart-wrenching" is definitely the way to describe terminating a pregnancy. T__T

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Amelia G

That sounds soooooooooooooo much better to me than have a parasite in your body for nine months during which you have to forgo lots of pleasant things and barf and feel sick a lot and never be far from a bathroom, have it rip your body up in ways which can probably never be repaired and which hurt hideously, have someone who goes to the bathroom in their pants and expects you to clean it up in your house for ages, and then have to stress about supporting them for 18 years and feel bad every time they fuck up.

---

My mom still says it's joy to see us all grown up, healthy and successful. And family is bound that is unbreakable. I mean children. Family involves one more partner :/

I wish I was a chick so I don't need to be together with "father" and still get cash every month.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Morning Glory

Women are the bringers of life and men are just kind of standing around with their thumbs up their asses, so they regress back into infant mentality and they throw tantrums an also have genital fixation issues. also known as the "kill it or fuck it" impulse.

---

That's not so cool. Sure, some men have issues, but so do a lot of women. There's no call for accusing an entire gender of immaturity for the faults of a portion of them. Some of my best friends are men!

Are you sure?

Have they proven they manittude?

Maybe they secretly have vaginas.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by batzilla

That's not so cool. Sure, some men have issues, but so do a lot of women. There's no call for accusing an entire gender of immaturity for the faults of a portion of them. Some of my best friends are men!

---

Well I think that is the way that society pre-progams people to be. People of course have their own minds and they can develop in many different ways. In modern society people have a much greater capacity through interaction and outlets to develop individually, which is why gender mores and (western) society as a whole has become increasingly flexible and permissive. Just think that less than a century ago women couldn't even vote in America, now we could have a woman as president.

An evil woman with tentacles in her vagina. >_> [/insanity]... Ah, who am I kidding! [insanity]

Quote:

---

Women are the bringers of life and men are just kind of standing around with their thumbs up their asses, so they regress back into infant mentality and they throw tantrums an also have genital fixation issues. also known as the "kill it or fuck it" impulse.

---

That's Women's Studies, the Cliff Notes version, no?

Quote:

---

Maybe they secretly have vaginas.

---

Indeed they do: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina_masculina
(Which is NOT an Industrial Band from Norway, BTW)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bikerpunk

That's Women's Studies, the Cliff Notes version, no?

---

well maybe so. I think that women have also done their fair share of promoting this idea. My point is that I think biology has dictated facets of society in a way that is not really beneficial for today's standard of living and just creates animosity between men and women, whereas in the past people tended to look past these things and fit more comfortably in their roles, for better or worse.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Morning Glory

Well I think that is the way that society pre-progams people to be. People of course have their own minds and they can develop in many different ways. In modern society people have a much greater capacity through interaction and outlets to develop individually, which is why gender mores and (western) society as a whole has become increasingly flexible and permissive. Just think that less than a century ago women couldn't even vote in America, now we could have a woman as president.

---

Once black men had the right to vote, it took women approx 50 more years to all get the right to vote. So I figure we are due for a female president in 2059.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bikerpunk

Indeed they do: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina_masculina
(Which is NOT an Industrial Band from Norway, BTW)

---

But it totally should be. :1orglaugh Maybe death metal.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Amelia G

Once black men had the right to vote, it took women approx 50 more years to all get the right to vote. So I figure we are due for a female president in 2059.

---

I am a Obama supporter, but I really wanted Hillary to get the nod. People were turned off by her because of her no-nonsense approach. Instead they wanted more of a friendly woman like Palin (I can see Russia from my house). Stupid. The truth is I didn't see Hillary acting any different than her male counterparts. When male politicians act as such, there seen as confident and professional. When female politicians acts like this, they're seen as total bitches. The sad part is I heard alot more woman than males describe Hillary as a "bitch". I still think she'd make a great president.

No dude. Are you crazy? She's female reincarnation of Hitler. She would succeed there where Hitler failed. It's not like it's up to her but up to those that pull the strings.

BP, so that's why you agreed upon having a vagina. :D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by OliX

No dude. Are you crazy? She's female reincarnation of Hitler. She would succeed there where Hitler failed. It's not like it's up to her but up to those that pull the strings.

---

Are you being sarcastic?

I've never given birth and I have no desire to do so. I've been planning sterilization for years now, but put it off because now it looks like I'll be having a hysterectomy in the next few years, so I didn't want to go through a needless procedure.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lady Alias

Are you being sarcastic?

---

Now I don't even know.
You should be aware that most of my postings are just random spill. First that comes to mind. I have a strong and weird imagination ;)

I know I emotionally and physically couldn't bring myself to have a baby, it would be torture for me, if I ever decide that I do want a child in my life, I will simply adopt one of the far too many children that need a home in this country. I'm awesome with kids, but child bearing and birth is not for me.