Haha, nice try you punk ass little bitches.

Last night I'm working the door at my bar when these two guys walk in. They look young and I carded them. They were 22 and 23. So they go to the bar and order beers and a few minutes later they start playing that "slap-hands" game you might have played when you were 14 if you were a douche. And each time one of them looked like they were about to get slapped they'd cringe and make a girly little yelp sound.

I could tell they were annoying the people on either side of them so I walked over and said, "Hey fellas, it's fifteen minutes before last call. Think you can act like you're grown ups until then?" and walked back to my post.

A couple minutes later they finish their beers and on the way out they come over to me and have the following conversation:

"Hey man, what time is last call around here."
"It's fifteen minutes from now. Didn't you hear?"
"Stop yelling at me, you're like a child. You need to grow up."
"Yeah you're right I mean I was only in Afganistan."
"Hey yeah, me too, " he turned and looked at me and continued, "Hey, have you been to Afganistan? Have you ever killed somebody? How many men have you killed?"

The whole time this bucket of sarcastic bullshit was going on I just stood there and stared at them and they walked out. Lookin' at them they were about as likely to have killed a man as I am of putting on a little pink tutu and calling myself Sally. It was the most pathetic thing I've seen in a long time.

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Originally Posted by Rockwulf

Lookin' at them they were about as likely to have killed a man as I am of putting on a little pink tutu and calling myself Sally.

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now waiting for pictures of "rockwulf sally" in a pink tutu. the song "mustang sally" may or may not go well with it.

haha idiots...My least favorite thing about my bar is people under 27ish..

I have a serious issue with my generation and younger. They have this attitude that the world and everyone they come in contact with owes them something, They've been told "equal rights"and "be yourself" so many times that they don't get where to draw that line of being themselves and shutting the fuck up when it's necessary. Not to mention the whole "i'll get a lawyer" attitude that has been washed over the last couple generations.
Plus I am so sick of the moronic shots that they order, "well this one guy in this one bar made me a dildo-feces. You really cant make one? gawwwd!!! I thought you were a bartender" fucktards, all of em

what the hell?

you should have said, "not yet. but the night is still young."

Nice work for not losing your nerve. I would give them "I'll feed you with your own balls smile" and play cool. Maybe provoke just a little bit if I was in the mood to fight to see how far would they go. Then of course I never doubted my self. Even against two.
But god, every time one of those situations happen I just pray it isn't a clone of Ramon Dekkers. Now that's a guy I wouldn't like to have after me.

haha that's hilarious. I saw the funniest "fight" recently. This guy throws a roundhouse that had to have taken 3 seconds to land. I was drunk but it was a cartoonish swing. Good way to take 5 to the head if you throw one that slow. I was pissed off before seeing it. I walked out of the bar and laughed my ass off (I had to cover my mouth in the bar, it was at our show and security did have to throw the little bitch out)

OEC

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Originally Posted by Rockwulf

Last night I'm working the door at my bar when these two guys walk in. They look young and I carded them. They were 22 and 23. So they go to the bar and order beers and a few minutes later they start playing that "slap-hands" game you might have played when you were 14 if you were a douche. And each time one of them looked like they were about to get slapped they'd cringe and make a girly little yelp sound.

I could tell they were annoying the people on either side of them so I walked over and said, "Hey fellas, it's fifteen minutes before last call. Think you can act like you're grown ups until then?" and walked back to my post.

A couple minutes later they finish their beers and on the way out they come over to me and have the following conversation:

"Hey man, what time is last call around here."
"It's fifteen minutes from now. Didn't you hear?"
"Stop yelling at me, you're like a child. You need to grow up."
"Yeah you're right I mean I was only in Afganistan."
"Hey yeah, me too, " he turned and looked at me and continued, "Hey, have you been to Afganistan? Have you ever killed somebody? How many men have you killed?"

The whole time this bucket of sarcastic bullshit was going on I just stood there and stared at them and they walked out. Lookin' at them they were about as likely to have killed a man as I am of putting on a little pink tutu and calling myself Sally. It was the most pathetic thing I've seen in a long time.

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If they aren't in Special Forces they probably never even left the base in Afghanistan... but of course they wanna be cool .... if i meet one more military guy that doesn't know my background who tries to wow me with stories of being a special forces sniper blah blah etc...

the worst is kids who lie about their special forces marine navy seal pilot war hero exploits to their parents and then the parents say things like "oh you were in the military? my son is a delta force ranger scuba diving special forces sniper... he shot saddam hussein...."

i have to bite my tongue and be polite..

wish i was there drinking at your bar...

like sex.

those that talk about it arent doing it.

this is why i talk about it. (sex or anything military)

I'm thinking MAYBE if they even were in Afghanistan, they probably pushed the button that made some UAV 300 miles away drop a bomb into a cave and now they're "killers".

What time is last call again? ... good grief.

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Originally Posted by Obscuria.com

What time is last call again? ... good grief.

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:rolleyes: Well, here it's 2:00am, but at the bar down on the corner it's 3:00am, so maybe if you fellas hurry you ass out of here, you can get there in time...

You think that's bad? I'm still stuck in the military, so every time I go to a bar, I'm surrounded by douche bags trying to brag about what they've done. The closest thing those two guys have probably done that would warrant them possibly killing anyone is guard duty standing in a tower overlooking the parimeter. I'm not sure if they do that in Afghanistan, but we do it here in Iraq. Well, last time I was here we did, now the US has hired out the Ugandan army to do it. Those guys are actually pretty cool.

Anyway, yeah, ever time I go to the bar to relax, I hear some jackass spewing war stories. It's fucking gaytarded. I did shoot one guy last time I was out here, and like I mentioned, it was on guard duty, the guy had an S2A missile, and was aiming it at one of our helicopters doing a test flight. Most people in the military, if they actually have killed someone, they don't talk about it, usually because either they just don't have the desire to brag about something like that, or because they've seen enough of their friends get shot up that they're not comfortable talking about it. At least that's from my experiences talking with infantry and artillery guys that go out and kick down doors for a living.

And Jonny, if you can hold your tongue, you're a better man than I, because I almost always call on bullshit like that, even if it's someone's parents.

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Originally Posted by ForrestBlack

:rolleyes: Well, here it's 2:00am, but at the bar down on the corner it's 3:00am, so maybe if you fellas hurry you ass out of here, you can get there in time...

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Heh, don't quite think I'll make it.. going to an Industrial night tonight and will be tied up til 3:00am, by that time, I'll forget which way the numbers count! :p:

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Originally Posted by nathanmbailey

You think that's bad? I'm still stuck in the military, so every time I go to a bar, I'm surrounded by douche bags trying to brag about what they've done. The closest thing those two guys have probably done that would warrant them possibly killing anyone is guard duty standing in a tower overlooking the parimeter. I'm not sure if they do that in Afghanistan, but we do it here in Iraq. Well, last time I was here we did, now the US has hired out the Ugandan army to do it. Those guys are actually pretty cool.

Anyway, yeah, ever time I go to the bar to relax, I hear some jackass spewing war stories. It's fucking gaytarded. I did shoot one guy last time I was out here, and like I mentioned, it was on guard duty, the guy had an S2A missile, and was aiming it at one of our helicopters doing a test flight. Most people in the military, if they actually have killed someone, they don't talk about it, usually because either they just don't have the desire to brag about something like that, or because they've seen enough of their friends get shot up that they're not comfortable talking about it. At least that's from my experiences talking with infantry and artillery guys that go out and kick down doors for a living.

And Jonny, if you can hold your tongue, you're a better man than I, because I almost always call on bullshit like that, even if it's someone's parents.

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Seems to me that guys who do the real killing probably don't brag about it.

Anybody wanna see me get hit in the head by some drunk broad?

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Originally Posted by Rockwulf

Anybody wanna see me get hit in the head by some drunk broad?

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That one lady was right. Shoulda used a glass. Now THAT would be cool to watch.

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Originally Posted by Ajax Knucklebones

Seems to me that guys who do the real killing probably don't brag about it.

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only an idiot would brag about that

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Originally Posted by nathanmbailey

And Jonny, if you can hold your tongue, you're a better man than I, because I almost always call on bullshit like that, even if it's someone's parents.

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in bars... i quite often have to say something... but i'm getting tired of having to call BS on punks! be a man and own up to the fact that you have a boring job and joined for the college money... trust me in LA you don't get laid bragging about killing... (hell even my SAG card doesn't get me laid)

i'm nice to the parents

i don't carry my medals around with me (just my life membership cards in a few groups that prove my credentials....) but damn i get tired of all the BS...

i'm with Forrest... the bar down the street has last call at 3am... :)

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Originally Posted by Ajax Knucklebones

Seems to me that guys who do the real killing probably don't brag about it.

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bingo....

unless i am trying to piss off some wipmpy pinko commie liberal that thinks we should all just get along... then i try to make them cry with stories of death destruction and revenge...

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Originally Posted by Mr Karl

only an idiot would brag about that

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bingo...

nothing to brag about...

rescuing hostages held by shia killing squads... that's worth bragging about, but leave the gory details out. someone who has really killed another human knows the deal... it has an effect on you the rest of your life...

usually people who brag about it are making up for some inadequacy .... small penis, boring computer job... small penis....

if any of my BB friends ever want to buy me a beer (or other drinks... or perhaps share a smoke) i will gladly answer any questions they may have about my 20 years in SF.... but don't expect me to brag about it... it was a job.... a job i enjoyed for many reasons, and killing wan not one of them

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Originally Posted by jonny.illuminati

bingo...

nothing to brag about...

rescuing hostages held by shia killing squads... that's worth bragging about, but leave the gory details out. someone who has really killed another human knows the deal... it has an effect on you the rest of your life...

usually people who brag about it are making up for some inadequacy .... small penis, boring computer job... small penis....

if any of my BB friends ever want to buy me a beer (or other drinks... or perhaps share a smoke) i will gladly answer any questions they may have about my 20 years in SF.... but don't expect me to brag about it... it was a job.... a job i enjoyed for many reasons, and killing wan not one of them

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HEY EVERYBODY, JOHNNY HAS A BIG PENIS AND HE FINDS HIS COMPUTER WORK VERY INTERESTING, THANK YOU.

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Originally Posted by Amelia G

HEY EVERYBODY, JOHNNY HAS A BIG PENIS AND HE FINDS HIS COMPUTER WORK VERY INTERESTING, THANK YOU.

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LMFAO

:1orglaugh :thumb: ftw!

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Originally Posted by Amelia G

HEY EVERYBODY, JOHNNY HAS A BIG PENIS AND HE FINDS HIS COMPUTER WORK VERY INTERESTING, THANK YOU.

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damn....

even i'm laughing at that one... should have seen that coming!

payback is a .... hell not even sure how to get even... :)

What's really funny is when I run into the occasional aviation guy who was a crew chief that wants to brag about "confirmed kills" using a machine gun on the helicopter. Thing is, it's hard to tell if you actually killed anyone from that high up seeing as you're too far away pretty quick.

Oh, and half the time they worked on Apaches. If you've ever seen one of those, it's pretty obvious, they weren't flying on it.

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Originally Posted by Amelia G

HEY EVERYBODY, JOHNNY HAS A BIG PENIS AND HE FINDS HIS COMPUTER WORK VERY INTERESTING, THANK YOU.

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:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh If the interweb maven thing ever turns sour and you need some quick cash, you're officially recruited to be my co-bouncer and take out the actual badasses so I don't have to.:thumb:

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Originally Posted by Rockwulf

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh If the interweb maven thing ever turns sour and you need some quick cash, you're officially recruited to be my co-bouncer and take out the actual badasses so I don't have to.:thumb:

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:1orglaugh

Will there be beer there?

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Originally Posted by Rockwulf

Anybody wanna see me get hit in the head by some drunk broad?

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That, Mr. Wulf, is EXACTLY how I pictured you.

Yup, that's me. Letting drunk broads who I don't like hit me in the face for shits and giggles.

And yeah Amelia, if you couldn't tell by the clip. There's LOTS of beer there...

I was sad the story ended in them bragging about being afghani pals and you listening :(.

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Originally Posted by Bikerpunk

That, Mr. Wulf, is EXACTLY how I pictured you.

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i see "Blaster" but he looks funny without "Master" on his back... :)

Rockwulf... i'm gonna ride up with some of the Brothers after the new year to visit you at the bar... please call Katy Perry and have her come as well... can you get us on the VIP list? :)

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Originally Posted by Amelia G

:1orglaugh

Will there be beer there?

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does that mean if there is beer your coming to visit as well?

Jonny, I'll give you boys the closest thing we got to a VIP list: a reserved table and a free plate o' nachos.

So I was kinda waiting for the bit where you made a sharp point or did something awesome.

Those two pissants weren't worth expending any awesome. And I think not rising to their terrible attempt at baiting me pissed them off even more. I could have crushed both of them if I got violent, but what would be the point? It was more fun just to send them away all butt-hurt and having looked like fools in front of the rest of the bar.

Yeah, I bet they felt just horrible at your declining to make them look bad. And now that you're doing it again here - imagine the suffering they would endure if they found out.

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Originally Posted by Raza

Yeah, I bet they felt just horrible at your declining to make them look bad. And now that you're doing it again here - imagine the suffering they would endure if they found out.

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i suppose to truly understand the point of it all would require actually being willing to serve in the military of / or fight for your country if needed.... and all the responsibility that truly goes along with that

I already made them look bad by calling them children and telling them to knock off their gay bullshit at the bar, where people could hear. When they walked over to me at the door they were far enough away from everyone that I doubt anyone heard their retarded claims or would have heard any response. So what's the point of rising to the bait with no audience?

And had I just grabbed them by their throats and dragged them outside, all any onlookers would have seen is some "typical roid raging bouncer douchebag." so again, what's the point?

:thumb:
most entertaining thread i've seen in a while.
i have no input other than that.
i don't deal with fucktards.
mostly 'cause if/when i go out, i have this serious "get the fuck away from me" air about me... which is probably why i never meet anyone but still...
glad i'm not a bouncer. my friend is. she loves it. i think it's how she takes out her aggression...
:thumb: