scared or scar ed

When does hating your self gets to point of suicide and you live through that then whats next, survival sickness and all the wave after wave of this living to next stage, like some video game; why
a heart can be only broken so many times,
a reason why to give in and give up
eyes can only weep so many hours; before tears turn to blood,
a reason why to give up and give in
the same lies can only be told only so many times,
Reasons when wives turn too knives
I cant find the reasons in it in the running water, in the rain that fall
in the tears that came, in these walls that held so much potential
A future unseen, a child not held, the sumer days not wasted away
why does blaming your self turn away the rage, the white walls
can never wash away the pain
the hating of being here instead of being there...

It moved me almost to tears, been there, PM me if you wanna talk about it.

Cool text... poem... whatever it is... a bit emo thought :D