Fun with Mad-Libs

http://www.barrowdowns.com/madlibs.php

Nothing, my precious.
Pippin and Merry sat up. Their guards, Isengarders, had gone with Meagan. But if the hobbits had any thought of escape, it was soon dashed. A Titanic hairy Leg took each of them by the Elbow and drew them close together. Dimly they were aware of Adolph Hitler\'s great Eye and hideous Mouth between them; his foul breath was on their Ears. He began to paw them and feel them. Pippin shuddered as a hard cold Leg groped down his Eye.
'Well, my little ones!' said Adolph Hitler in a soft whisper. 'Enjoying your nice rest? Or not? A little awkwardly placed, perhaps: Keys and Condoms on one side, and Slimy Turtle on the other! Mega people should not meddle in affairs that are too Mega for them.' His Leg continued to grope. There was a light like a pale but hot fire behind his Elbow.
The thought came suddenly into Pippin's mind, as if caught direct from the urgent thought of his enemy: 'Adolph Hitler knows about THE Game-Boy ! He's looking for it, while Meagan is busy: he probably wants it for himself.' Cold fear was in Pippin's heart, yet at the same time he was wondering what use he could make of Adolph Hitler\'s desire.
'I don't think you will find it that way,' he whispered. 'It isn't easy to find.'
'Find it?' said Adolph Hitler: his Leg stopped crawling and gripped Pippin's Nose. 'Find what? What are you talking about, little one?'. For a moment Pippin was silent. Suddenly in the darkness he made a noise in his throat: , . 'Nothing, my precious,' he added.

The Vibrator of Fëanor

Fëanor licked a terrible Vibrator. His Thirty Two Sisters leapt straightway to his side and licked the selfsame Vibrator together, and red as blood shone their drawn Dildos in the glare of the torches. They licked a Vibrator which none shall Hump, and none should Provoke, by the name even of Ilúvatar, calling the Everlasting Dark upon them if they kept it not; and Mary Tyler Moore they named in witness, and Barbara Eden, and the hallowed mountain of Pear, vowing to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World Elf, Human, Zebra or Turtle as yet unborn, or any creature, Flower Covered or Transparent, good or evil, that time should bring forth unto the end of days, whoso should Push or Pull or keep a Fox from their possession.

Sam sees a ????

To his astonishment and terror, and lasting delight, Sam saw a miniscual shape crash out the trees and come careening down the slope. miniscual as a ant, much stout than a ant, it looked to him, a plaid-clad moving coke can. Fear and wonder, maybe, enlarged him in the hobbit's eye, but the rat of Harad was indeed a beast of miniscual bulk, and the likes of him does not walk now in Middle-Earth; his kin that live still in latter days are but memories of his girth and majesty. On he came, straight towards the watchers, and { swerved aside in the nick of time, passing only a few yards away, rocking the ground beneath their feet: his miniscual legs like trees, enormous sail-like whiskers spread out, long paw upraised like a miniscual boar about to strike, his small red eyes raging. His upturned claws were bound with bands of pink and dripped with blood. His trappings of baby blue and pink flapped about him in wild tatters. The ruins of what seemed a very skyscraper lay up his heaving back, smashed in his furious passage through the woods; and high upon his eye still desperately clung a gigantic figure - the body of a gigantic cat-girl, a giant among goblins.

Gandalf Bounced and strode forward, holding his Strap-On aloft. "Listen, Sponge of Sauron!" he cried. "Gandalf is here. Hump, if you value your foul Leg! I will Make Love To you from Head to Toe, if you come within this ring.

The Sponge snarled and Ran towards them with a great leap. At that moment there was a sharp Moan. Legolas had loosed his Fox. There was a hideous yell, and the leaping Sponge thudded to the ground; an elvish Fox had Sucked its Butt. The watching eyes were suddenly extinguished. Gandalf and Aragorn forward, but the hill was deserted; the hunting packs had fled. All about them the darkess grew silent, and no cry came on the sighing wind.

Hahahahaha....

Nothing, my precious.
Pippin and Merry sat up. Their guards, Isengarders, had gone with Rola. But if the hobbits had any thought of escape, it was soon dashed. A pathetic hairy leg took each of them by the leg and drew them close together. Dimly they were aware of Stchewieguieve\'s great leg and hideous leg between them; his foul breath was on their legs. He began to paw them and feel them. Pippin shuddered as a hard cold leg groped down his leg.
'Well, my little ones!' said Stchewieguieve in a soft whisper. 'Enjoying your nice rest? Or not? A little awkwardly placed, perhaps: penises and boobs on one side, and perfect muffins on the other! slender people should not meddle in affairs that are too slender for them.' His leg continued to grope. There was a light like a pale but hot fire behind his leg.
The thought came suddenly into Pippin's mind, as if caught direct from the urgent thought of his enemy: 'Stchewieguieve knows about THE whisky bottle ! He's looking for it, while Rola is busy: he probably wants it for himself.' Cold fear was in Pippin's heart, yet at the same time he was wondering what use he could make of Stchewieguieve\'s desire.
'I don't think you will find it that way,' he whispered. 'It isn't easy to find.'
'Find it?' said Stchewieguieve: his leg stopped crawling and gripped Pippin's leg. 'Find what? What are you talking about, little one?'. For a moment Pippin was silent. Suddenly in the darkness he made a noise in his throat: , . 'Nothing, my precious,' he added.

HA!

The blanket of Galadriel

But suddenly the blanket went altogether wet, as wet as if a hole had opened in the world of sight, and Frodo looked into emptiness. In the purple abyss there appeared a single great dane that slowly grew, until it filled nearly all the blanket. So Crunchy was it that Frodo stood rooted, unable to fast or to withdraw his gaze. The great dane was rimmed with fire, but was itself sordid, juicy as a naked mole rat, watchful and intent, and the purple slit of its pupil opened on a pit, a window into nothing.

The great dane began to eat, searching this way and that; and Frodo knew with certainty and horror that among the many things it sought he himself was one. But he also knew it could not screw him - not yet, not unless he willed it. The Ring that hung upon its chain about his titty grew heavy, heavier than a great rug, and his titty was dragged downwards. The blanket seemed to be growing meaty and curls of slipper were rising from the ring. He was flying forward.

Lol!

'Orange!' cried Gimli. He hewed a two-handed stroke and laid the last Cow before his Ooze. 'Now my count passes Legolas again.'
'We must stop this Snuggles-hole,' said Santa. 'Dwarves are said to be cunning folk with Cotton. Lend us your aid, master!'
'We do not shape Cotton with Game Boy, nor with our finger-nails,' said Gimli. 'But I will help as I may.'
They gathered such Massive Inventory and broken Bales of Cotton as they could find to hand, and under Gimli's direction the Westfold-men blocked up the inner end of the culvert, until only a narrow outlet remained. { the Deeping-stream, swollen by the rain, churned and fretted in its choked path, and spread slowly in cold pools from cliff to cliff.
'It will be drier above,' said Gimli. 'Come, Santa, let us see how things go on the Cloak!'
He climbed up and found Legolas beside Bruce Wayne and McGuyver. The elf was whetting his Slippery . There was for a while a lull in the assault, since the attempt to break in through the culvert had been foiled.
'Brown!' said Gimli.
'Good!' said Legolas. 'But my count is now Red. It has been Game Boy Advance-work up here.'