Bullies, Jerks, and Victims

Everyone has run into them at some point. Some of us still do. Hell if you're on the net long enough you'll see more bully like behaviour than anything else. However most of us ran into these kinda souls as kids...either on the playground or in our neighborhoods.

I was never good at dealing with them. I simply was never witty enough, strong enough, or much else to make them stop. For the most part though running into them was a rare since I was the kinda kid you never really remembered. A ghost really.

But as we all know now...some dealt with the issue quite bluntly. Be it with killing em in a school shoot out or hunting them for sport as one got older. But for most of us the old advice of "ignore them" was all we really did.

Really in most of the situations that's all you can do. Fighting back has mixed results...some great...some not. We've all seen the situations when a person fights back only to be punished by the forces that be...worse still are the situations when the bullied person simply looks WORSE in the eyes of many after taking action.

Recently driving along this white truck cut me off in front of a local market. I honked...not out of anger but simple reaction. He was an some armenian fella. Well obviously my honking was sacreligious to the man. He stopped his car in the middle of the street, got out, and started to yell at me. Then he got in...drove along the road...me stuck behind him. He then switches lanes...then tries to run me off the road...then cuts in front of another car to get in front of me and stops AGAIN to get out of his car and yell at me.

Now I'm in my car in utter shock...and laughing on the inside as how absurd this situation is. I mean does this guy think what he's doin actually works? Am I suppose to drive away in fear? does he want me to step out and fight him in the middle of the street? I mean really...what goes on in the minds of these people?

Who knows...I went my way and he went his. Sure I could have called the cops...or even of stepped out and fought the fool...or run him over.

But all I could think was...just drive away. Oddly I felt kinda bad about it later. Mainly cause it's one of the few times I've ever seen another human being as utterly worthless. Guess some bullies never grow up.

So...anyone have experiences with bullies and the assorted wastes they spawn they are willing to share?

From the time I was in first grade through third, there was one particular girl who picked on me relentlessly.

As I recall, my initial infraction was explaining while we were playing that her that her doll was not actually technically her baby and alive. My main offense, though, was that I never fought back, so picking on me was entertaining for her. She did it so blatantly that multiple teachers saw her and admonished her, but she never let up.

Then, one day, in third grade, after years of this, we were standing in line for some elementary school purpose. And this girl was standing on my feet and wouldn't get off. I didn't really tie my shoes at that age, so this was extra-distressing for me. I just asked her to please stop because she was hurting me. And this bully girl was laughing at me. She turned to her friends, still laughing, and pointed at me and said "I love when she gets mad; it is so funny."

So I punched her in the face as hard as my little arm could hit her.

This was before AIDS, so the blood on my hand didn't bother me at all.

The sweet old lady third grade teacher who took me in the hall told me I shouldn't have done it, but she didn't punish me, perhaps because she knew how long I suffered before I struck back. My parents are very nonviolent, but they didn't punish me either, definitely because they knew how long and badly I suffered before I struck back.

I attended the same school for another year and a half. And that bully never said or did the slightest unkind thing to me ever again.

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Originally Posted by AmeliaG

From the time I was in first grade through third, there was one particular girl who picked on me relentlessly.

As I recall, my initial infraction was explaining while we were playing that her that her doll was not actually technically her baby and alive. My main offense, though, was that I never fought back, so picking on me was entertaining for her. She did it so blatantly that multiple teachers saw her and admonished her, but she never let up.

Then, one day, in third grade, after years of this, we were standing in line for some elementary school purpose. And this girl was standing on my feet and wouldn't get off. I didn't really tie my shoes at that age, so this was extra-distressing for me. I just asked her to please stop because she was hurting me. And this bully girl was laughing at me. She turned to her friends, still laughing, and pointed at me and said "I love when she gets mad; it is so funny."

So I punched her in the face as hard as my little arm could hit her.

This was before AIDS, so the blood on my hand didn't bother me at all.

The sweet old lady third grade teacher who took me in the hall told me I shouldn't have done it, but she didn't punish me, perhaps because she knew how long I suffered before I struck back. My parents are very nonviolent, but they didn't punish me either, definitely because they knew how long and badly I suffered before I struck back.

I attended the same school for another year and a half. And that bully never said or did the slightest unkind thing to me ever again.

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Although you probably wouldnt need me to, If I was there back then, I would have jumped in the way to protect you. I hate when people get mistreated when they dont deserve it. I had been picked on constantly as well, and had gotten into several fights because of that, and none of the people had fought against fought fairly, but that didnt matter. I was fighting and standing up for myself. I try to avoid fights though, because even though I was fighting in self defense, the teachers let them walk off without even getting detention or anything.

about 4 or 5 years ago, some kid that didnt even goto the same school, was being in a certain part of the school,even though it was illegal for him to be there for some reason. He punched me and didnt get even a warning. I still have loose teeth as a result of that guy from when he punched me on my lower left jaw. I got threatened to be expelled , and I didnt even hit the looser back!

They should have organized fighting, like boxing matches or something to settle disputes! Even though our "Society" frowns upon brawling, they know fully well, but refuse to understand that if somebody is forced to bottle up their rage like that, people will eventually blow up and do something that may seem irrational.

I hate when people get hurt if they dont deserve it, but if somebody deserves to be hurt, then I am all for them getting hurt for what they did to another person.

When I was in the 4th grade I kept getting teased by two girls....finally I got tired of it and threw a big rock at one of em and it landed on her hand and broke her finger (It was an accident I swear, I was aiming for another area :D ). I havent gotten teased since then.

I was getting verbally and physically abused constantly for two years before I started taking martial arts. Word got around (it's a small town) and no one said (or did) shit to me after that. Being able to seriously wound someone helps keep meanies away :)

I remember the first time I was assaulted by a bully. I was about 4 or 5 years old. I was playing in my little sand pit, minding my buisness, as usual. 2 girls were walking by, and they came up to me. The younger girl, being around my age, says to her older sister, that i had hit her before. (totally untrue, I had never seen the girl before, and was so shy back then, I wouldnt have had said boo to a fly) Anyways, the older girl grabs me, hits me hard, then starts kicking me in the shins. I was crying, I didnt know how to fight back then. ( I also have no brothers or sisters, and didnt know a lot of other kids at that age, so I didnt know how mean other people could be) Luckily my grandmother saw what was going on out the window, and came out and chased the girls away. I was devestated. I knew that I hadnt deserved that. It was all based on a lie. I learned a hard lesson that day. I hadnt even thought of that memory in years untill I read that post. I am a nice person as a rule, and I never start shit with others. Its not how I am. The last time someone had a problem with me, I tried to talk to her, and slow her aggression. It didnt work. She didnt like the way me and my best friend "looked". I tried to reason with her. didnt work. She swung at me, I ducked. Then I knocked the teeth out of her head. I decided then and there I wasnt being hurt for no reason again. survival of the fittest? I dont know, but I chose me.

This one boy, I think I was in grade 5-6, used to pick on me relentlessly.
I got so angry with him once I told him to die and that he'd be doing everyone a favor because they woulnd't have to look at him any longer. The next year our old teacher pulled me and this other girl aside in the hall on our way to class and told us that the boy had been in a car accident over the summer and died. I felt so bad because I thought it was my fault.

As I've gotten older the worst anyone ever done is spout off stupid things like 'f*****' or 'queer' or 'freak.' It's almost mind boggling the amount of variations one with no vocabulary at all can create for each of these..

when i was about 9 my brother was at a playground. i went to get him for diner and this kid was slaping at him. i told him to pick on someone his own size and he turned on me. we cussed at each other than out of nowhere he knocked me down. one hand pinned under me one hand held by the wrist. he hit me ten or more times. then my friends showed up and he ran off. the thing is i wasn't afraid untill he came back days later with a bunch of girls holding boards and bricks. i ran home to my daddy. he later made that kid crap his pants.

There was one kid that picked on me a lot in the 4th grade. Word is he is a cop now.

i was always picked on by everyone, im weird ill admit it, but i dont fight back . I am an extremely passive person. I was always the one everyone talked about behind my back but were always nice to my face...eh...tvs on...so sidetracked..

I have always avoided violence if possible. Someone picks a fight with me I will attempt to reason with them or walk away. But if someone swings at me I will defend myself to whatever degree necessary. If I see someone else being picked on, beat on or threatened I feel compelled to intervene. I cannot stand by and do nothing.

Never a victim, rarely a jerk, often a bully.

Over time, I've learned to choose my battles more wisely. It's too easy to get into disputes over matters of no importance. It goes beyond bullies. The discourse in society seems to get more hyperbolic by the day. At this point, I simply advocate my views and enjoy life. "Bullies" are background chatter. Best not to engage them.

OEC

I dealt with them all through school.
Sometimes for different reasons, but I always got picked on.
When I was younger, I always fought back. I was always getting in fights.
But that did not make the other kids respect me. They still had their reasons
to dislike me, so the fact that I fought back did not make them stop, or make
them want to be friendly. Then when I was older, I could not always fight back,
because I realized that now that the other kids were much older, and much
bigger than me, that I would get my ass seriously kicked. So I just dealt with it.
Which made me very angry, and ready to go Columbine on the school.
But I toughed it out until I went off to college, and started over, and everything
was cool. But I still have a severe negative reaction to bullies. But as I have gotten
older, I now realize that it is not worth it to fight every idiot out there. My reaction
to Tequila Zaire's situation with the road rage driver, would be to laugh at him.
That's my way of dealing with those kind of people now. They are simply immature
and idiotic. They are letting their emotions make them act like an idiot. And that's
pretty funny. But when I see someone being bullied, in my regular daily life, I do
my best to stop it. I take great pride in the fact that when I saw this one guy at my
friend's work, bullying another guy and making fun of him, I made sure to see that
he did not get hired again at other companies, once they got rid of him. I like the
fact that now that I am in a position of some power, I make sure to make those
people's lives hell now in the adult world. I am sure people like Bill Gates and
most tech type people do the same thing. Those meatheads who are bullies
in high school, are never going to get the high paying jobs at technical
companies full of geeks and nerds. So being a bully will often end up
with you stuck in a shitty manual labor job. Because the bosses of the
world often do not like bullies. Revenge is sweet sometimes.

as for road rage issues you should put your hazzard lights on drive directly to a police station or a hospital never stop or get out of your car (unless you have an uzi,because they might have one)

as for bullies never confront them but you should yell for help by saying fire or ****

then they become a project of sabotage and aviodance find out where they live what car they drive any items they leave unattended become fair game

at school , lockers are often unattended and you can squirt some pretty foul stuff through vents you can superglue locks

heres a good one i did

i knew where a bullys locker was and the locker above them was not assigned

so one night i peed in a cup put it in the freezer then the next day put the cup upside down in the top locker then a lock on it through out the day every thin in his locker was saturated with my pee it dripped through a little hole and of course i never knew what he did since

cars slashing tires and sugaring gastanks is too old

a little sand on the windshield wipers (and superglue in the locks) sardines slide great through a little opened window and milk whoa it stinks after a while

keying a car is excesive when just one little scratch near the keyhole is enough to bug someone forever

the littlest things do much more damage like a little diamond ring scratch on a windshield or rear view mirror

r and a sheetrock screw into a tire it will not deflate the tire immediatly and will end up looking like it was picked up on the road just put it at a 45 deg angle on a passenger side tire in a parking lot

make sure you are never alone and if you see the person walk the other direction toward someone of authority

wow you cant say R.A,P.E
but you can say fuck,shit,cunt,dick,cock,asshole

The girls in grade school used to want to beat me up because I was so pale. Then I got into junior high and started to date coke dealers with leather upholstered jaguars... Darling...

People just need to realize that what comes around, goes around.

If you act like an asshole towards people, someone *will* try to get even with you.

If you act like a decent human being, it works out better for you.

Tequila Zaire,

I really, truly, deeply from my heart of hearts as a person, appreciated you posting this thread. It is a topic that has been close to home for me in the past, and, no matter what an expert would say, is a phenomenon that follows one to their last breath.

I was the target of bullies from earliest school years, up to my freshman year of Junior Highschool. The worst part of it was, I led the small town life mostly, so I dealt with the same numbfucks each new school year, so the rivalry had YEARS to become a festering puss filled zit on god's asshole.

Needless to say, I agree that being bullishly stubborn and fighting back has mixed results. I made friends that way, and I lost some dear one's. I made a statement, and I got told a few by a judge.

My point is, I was blessed throughout my years of suffering, I did not do the Columbine route. I did something far worse, in some circles: I destroyed myself. I attempted suicide when I was 16, taking 60 cc's of insulin which can kill an adult horse in an hour or less. I spent 6 months in a coma, and when I woke up and realized what I had done, and how close I came to not being around, it galvanized me.

I went back to school, and I carried myself in a totally new way. One thing people fail to mention in all the bully lore you hear online and at school is, a bully will react to a potential target based on factors such as body language, and that ages old 'gleam in the eye'.

I had that gleam, and, just like when dealing with a vicious dog, the eyes say what words do not need to. I had the gleam, and they knew that to fuck with me one last time would not be condusive to continued existence, perhaps for either of us.

Kids are cruel, but there limits to what a person can tolerate. Some, like me, turn it on themselves. Some, like those kids on the news, turn it outward. I did both, and somehow managed to make it out fine.

My point?

9 years now since I graduated from highschool. I make 90k a year self employed. I used that resource pool to go back home once, to check on all the enemies, the old grudes, that had shaped what were perhaps some of the worst years of my life. Three of those people are now deceased, via drugs or other less than wholesome means. One is in prison for ****. The other one comitted suicide.

I do not believe in god, but I believe in come uppances :)

And I am sorry for double posting, but I request this be given a sticky. It is relevant, prident, and helpful for so many people. It belongs atop the list, but that is merely a suggestion.

Carry on :)

Yeah, when you go back to your old hometown, most of those people are still there, married, with kids, in a dead-end job...

Although the story about them all being dead or in prison would
be even more enjoyable...

But for those who are still dealing with it, the point is that those
people do it because they are insecure. And it's rare that they
end up having happy lives... The key is to see them as a temporary
obstacle. Just keep low, keep moving, and get to a better place...
Keep focused on making your life great, and ignore the losers
who try to keep you down...

I was raised to be polite to everyone and I spoke intelligently (like the British I suppose?). (I grew up and learned english somewhat in the South so their mannerisms affected me I think) and when I moved to Florida (which is quite possibly the most northern southern state ;o) the ghetto kids would ALWAYS try to pick on me, mistaking my kindness for weakness and speaking rudely to me or behind my back in class as if I thought I was better than them by using words they didn't know in my normal everyday language. They'd call me some shitty names and follow me around harassing me until it caught my attention.

Only a few times did it ever result in violence and I never really stood up to any of it, just laughed at them or ignored them.

In high school I made sure I had atleast one friend in every social clique so it worked to my advantage. :o)

When I was still in Elementary my friggin' classmates always bully me. They teased me of my color, they laughed at my mistakes and they even accused me of something I never did. And because of that our teacher gave me a punishment. Someone has to bring a bag of chili pepper to be eaten by me. I got nothing to do but cry. My friggin' teacher didn't listen to my explainations. She seemed to hate me and she always sees all my mistakes. She whipped me with her stick every time I failed in Math and when I couldn't read the paragraph she wrote on the board she shook my head and pulled my hair. I always end up crying with my classmates laughing at me...making fun of me. My elementary years are full of shits. And I hate that friggin' teacher so much!

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Originally Posted by Empress_Of_Drac

When I was still in Elementary my friggin' classmates always bully me. They teased me of my color, they laughed at my mistakes and they even accused me of something I never did. And because of that our teacher gave me a punishment. Someone has to bring a bag of chili pepper to be eaten by me. I got nothing to do but cry. My friggin' teacher didn't listen to my explainations. She seemed to hate me and she always sees all my mistakes. She whipped me with her stick every time I failed in Math and when I couldn't read the paragraph she wrote on the board she shook my head and pulled my hair. I always end up crying with my classmates laughing at me...making fun of me. My elementary years are full of shits. And I hate that friggin' teacher so much!

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Your teacher makes you eat chilli peppers for an imagined infraction? Do you live in the Sudan? I am confused
:(

Could be "disease boy" in a less-infectious form...

ie: Troll

(maybe)

I have been bullied nad I have been the bully
both suck
people suck
i suck

I remember one trying to bully me in high school.... Why he stoped and why he liked me so much after that I don't know... maybe because I was good with all the girls :)