Do you think people in relationships should be able to have friends?

I've noticed that a lot of people, women especially, tend to dump all their friends whenever they get a new significant other. Of course, guess who gets to hear about it when the new sweetie becomes yesterday's news.

I've also noticed that a lot of people expect that anyone in a relationship won't want to have friends or make friends, unless they are a cheater or a swinger.

Do you think people in relationships should be able to have friends?

me and my girl where pretty anti social when we started dating. we pretty much hated each others friends. i manged to keep the few friends i have. her best friend didn't like me and my friends almost killed him for it. gatat know when to say shit and when not to. just the other day my friend was telling me how my friends where at a bar talking about how i never go out no more. me and my girl have alot of trust issues becsoue my 1st rule to life is trust noone and she dont; trust me cuz this si the 1st relationship ive ever been in where i haven;t cheated. so im not allowed to make any new female friends at all. the same gose with her vise versa. im not saying that everyone should not have friends i do but it kinda works for us.

I think they should but I see it happen pretty rarely...women get jealous...same as guys do.

Never stops me though...I like making friends with women...I can deal and talk to them better than men.

Each case is different.

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Originally Posted by AmeliaG

I've noticed that a lot of people, women especially, tend to dump all their friends whenever they get a new significant other. Of course, guess who gets to hear about it when the new sweetie becomes yesterday's news.

I've also noticed that a lot of people expect that anyone in a relationship won't want to have friends or make friends, unless they are a cheater or a swinger.

Do you think people in relationships should be able to have friends?

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Most defineately. I tried to keep my friendships, but slowly everyone left me because they were single and couldnt stand to see me happy all the time. Guess I found out who my real friends were!

Depending on how significant the significant other is for me, my friends might become something of a second term. It's not that I lose them, it's just that I tend to see less of them.
As for the friends of my significant other... well, being that I'm really, really shallow, I usually date very attractive people. This means that most of that person's "friends", are usually people just waiting in line to get in their pants. I'm very jealous, so this bugs me no end. I know I can't forbid my couple having friends, but I keep a close watch on who those friends are and what their intentions might be. Usually, just letting them know I do so is enough to keep them at bay...

... I guess.

I had one girlfriend who browbeat me into cutting a bunch of friends loose. The idea behind that is to make sure that you don't have a support network of people to tell you that you're dating a controlling bitch and that you have alternatives.

Once you accept someone else's notion of you as a fixer-upper who needs a lot of work to be worth the investment, you're basically sunk. It's a long road back to dignity after that.

I believe if you cant trust the person you shouldn't be dating yes I believe in making friends. I look at it also if you like th persona nd thier sense of judgment there shouldn't be a problem. But yeah I notice that too and it fucking sucks.....all these friends questions, honest I don't mind not having any friends, but some days it would be nice.....or would it?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AmeliaG

I've noticed that a lot of people, women especially, tend to dump all their friends whenever they get a new significant other. Of course, guess who gets to hear about it when the new sweetie becomes yesterday's news.

I've also noticed that a lot of people expect that anyone in a relationship won't want to have friends or make friends, unless they are a cheater or a swinger.

Do you think people in relationships should be able to have friends?

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It's unfortunate we have to ask ourselves these questions in this culture and/or subculture.
Obviously, it's an experience we've all had. What I dread most is when 2 friends date and inevitably break up. People in relationships NEED to maintain their friendships.


OEC

I believe very much in keeping friends and being able to make new ones - differentiating between friends as friends and friends as potential or actual partners. I was in a relationship many years ago where the woman insisted that I cut off from my penfriends - the main one she was jealous of lived in Australia at the time! She actually said that she was worried I would have a fling with her.

The relationship broke up - fortunately - when she had a sexual fling with someone or other she had purposely gone out to pick up on my birthday (claiming she had to take an aunt to the hospital and coming back next morning wearing her dancing clothes!).

I think its a good idea to maintain friendships that you have. Unless your friends dont like or get a long too well with your significant other. My girl has droped most of her friends but it was more her reasons than the fact that we hooked up i simply gave her the srength to finally do it. Ive kept mine....mostly....i havent really talked to a few of them in a while though but the rest are still good friends.