Halloween safety...oh and im back!

yeah, the papers are true, im back.

and a friend sent these to me via e-mail, i dont know how original they are


The 21 Rules Of Halloween! With Halloween upon us,
it is worthwhile to remember a few
simple rules to help keep this season healthy, happy
and SAFE!
Please use these helpful hints this and every year!!

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster,
NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even
as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the
power has gone out.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any
other language which they
should not know, SHOOT them immediately. It will
save you a lot of grief in
the long run. However, it will probably take several
rounds to kill them, so
be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak
with somebody else's voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair
off and go alone.

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open
portals to Hell.

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or
crypt. This would apply to
any other house of the dead as well.

8. If you're searching for something which caused a
loud noise and find out
that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do
not check for short circuits; just get out.

10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's
probably a good reason
for it. Don't stop and look around.

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology
unless you're sure you know what you're doing.

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to
trip or fall down at east
twice, more if you are female. Also note that,
despite the fact that you are
running and the monster is merely shambling along,
it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit
uncharacteristic behavior
such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing
eyes, increasing hairiness,
and so on, kill them immediately.

15. Stay away from certain geographical locations,
some of which are listed
here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog
(you're in trouble if you
recognize this one), anywhere in Texas where
chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda
Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely
road, do not go to he
nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If
you think that it is
strange you ran out of gas because you thought you
had most of a tank, shoot
yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and
most likely be eaten.

17. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example:
chainsaws, staple guns,
hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines,
lawnmowers, butane
torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices
made from deceased companions.

18. If you find that your house is built upon a
cemetery, now is the time to
move in with the in-laws. This also applies to
houses that had previous
inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or
died in some horrible
fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic
practices.

19. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise
downstairs in an old
house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And
carry a flashlight, not a candle.

20. Do not mention the names of demons around open
flames, as these can flare
suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in
this regard.

21. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland
countryside.

HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

I like that, so I stole it for my LJ (with credits). Now, let's see how many people take it seriously, since they took my PORN 101 seriously (One said he was going to write to his congressman, and he meant it ...).

porn 101...ha thats funny :1orglaugh

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SomethingSelfrighteous

porn 101...ha thats funny :1orglaugh

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Yup. But there are really people out there who believe that the Weekly World News is a serious, trustworthy newspaper.

The University of Kansas had a class on pornography, for a semester. But that's a cool list all......hail.....hypno........toad.