Stalkers

I've always foundit hard to understand these guys...cause I've never been so keen on a girl I'd spend my time hunting her around town. Partly cause I'd be too lazy...and the effort involved seems better spent on finding another woman.

But I know some of you ladies here (men maybe?) have had to deal with such people and I'm curious how you've dealt with them and how it's made you feel.

More importantly...did it change the way you see people in general and since some of you have fans...how you've seen them?

I'm a fan of the restraining order route. Once the court finalizes it, ya just call the police every time el creepo gets within range.

I also am REALLY restrained about who I let know where I live.

I just have one of those personalities stalker types get obsessed with. At this point, though, I know I am stalker bait, so I am careful.

A stalker and a person who appreciates my personality or appreciates what I create are totally different. It is kind of the difference between "thank you" and "now I want to eat your spleen"

i had that problem once when i was about 12.

i went to my first cadet training weekend (it was a feild training kinda like camping but more work), there was a dance and this guy nicked-named 'growler' because he tended to act like a wolf, and not in a good way came and sat next to me, i never really talked to him, but the next day at breakfast he came up behind me and tried giving me a hug like we were going out. i told him to fuck off but he falled me around all weekend.

i was told from cadets in his corps that he cried all the way home because he had to leave me, and he cried every time there was gonna be a cadet weeked because he thought he might see me, and cried when he had to leave because he would miss me.

he found out all my email addy's from other cadets, than my phone number, home address and mailing address, where my family camped and our site number.

he went so far as to right fake 'love letters' and putting my address on the envelope to make it seem real.

i had to go to a skilled trades fair with school and found out that he was there. i went to my friend who was in a higher grade than me, and i have known all my life, hes a pretty big guy, so i told him what the guy had been doing, and my friend had a little chat with him.

i'm not quite sure what was said but growler ended up quitting cadets in case he came near me, because he as afraid of my friend.

Never had one to go so far as coming to my home, but when out and stuff. I think the best route is to never be alone, avoid any eye contact with the person, and try and hard as you can to avoid talking to them at all.

I tend to think of confrontation as the best way to solve people problems. Take morbid_lady, for example. That's the kind of tactic I'd take.
On the other hand, I've never had a stalker stalk me, so it's easy for me to say. Does anyone have the impression that ninety-nine out of a hundred stalkers are male?
That other one percent probably resembles Glenn Close.

... I guess.

I've had my share of stalkers. Male and female. the best thing to do is learn to read the signs durring the first meeting. If they want a way to get in touch with you, give them your e-mail addy. If they get too creepy you can cut them off completely, without having to rearrange your life or wait for the restraining order. Ohter than that the "don't go anywhere by yourself" theory is always a nice safe plan. If the creep knows where you live motion detectors, and motion sensitive lights out side the house are a good thing, and a cordless phone to call the cops. Back in Fla I had a deal with the local dept that if I called and hung up after three rings they'd just drive by the house REEEAAAAL slow. Most of the time the guilty conscience of the stalker was enough to send him packing for a few days. The rest of the time I had to get a restraining order. Confrontation is dangerous. I really wouldn't suggest it. Some of the people with the stalker mentality can be out right loose screws. The best thing really is to give everyone you meet a nickname and if they insisit a cell phone number untill you're sure that they won't go ape shit on you. 99 times out of a hundred you're safe. It's that last one percent that scares me.
K

okay gotcha....I wish somone would stalk me....I know it's something not to wish for I am only stalked to be killed....not to be loved....one day dammit it will change!!!

My dad was stalked........ one of his last girlfriends before he divorced my mom was bi and her girlfriend was very jealous. She had two people hit my dad over the head with a baseball bat. She ripped our cable line out. She set fire to our garage. She broke out the windshields of just about every car we had. And she put sugar into the gas tank of my mom's new car. She never got in trouble because we couldn't prove that she did it. I don't like stalkers, unfortunately I have the tendency to almost be one.

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Originally Posted by hewhoisagod

My dad was stalked........ one of his last girlfriends before he divorced my mom was bi and her girlfriend was very jealous. She had two people hit my dad over the head with a baseball bat. She ripped our cable line out. She set fire to our garage. She broke out the windshields of just about every car we had. And she put sugar into the gas tank of my mom's new car. She never got in trouble because we couldn't prove that she did it. I don't like stalkers, unfortunately I have the tendency to almost be one.

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Wow. That is messed up that she did that. Was this in Kansas?

video cameras....a good investment....oh and more note pads

hey,man there are female stalkers too.

i had a stalker once ,but it was a guy,and im not gay(its cool if you are guys but don't come hittin' on me after you know im straight....i hate that)i took it as a complement at first(hey someone thinks im hott.!)but that shit is creepy as hell man.finnally he stopped i think i scared him once i confronted him in the middle of his lil'"hiding place"

ive had a few obssed girlfreinds. im kinda obssesive myself. never had a full blown stalker tho. Im kinda a dangerous person and i have a very boring life so nothing to really hook a stalker in. Im sure if i had my own porn site and a dick about 1 yd. long ide have a few. prolly guys ewwwwwwwww.

yeah, stalking is for the birds, to coin a phrase. another old phrase that I find to be often relevent to many a situation is "get a life", and can also be good with an add on: get a life-of your own.

Never been stalked. However, I'm still fairly careful about how much information I give out about myself and I certainly still keep my eyes open about who is in the immediate area and who has been near me for longer than I would expect when I'm on the move. I guess it's partially because of my military past, partially because I'm a reasonably private person anyway - no matter what I may post here or in my LJ.

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Originally Posted by AmeliaG

Wow. That is messed up that she did that. Was this in Kansas?

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no that was when I was in Illinois.

I've had a couple stalkers. one just eventually went away. The other I had to put a restraining order on, but people still saw him lurking around. Also, I've had an obsessed boyfriend who is still obsessed since we broke up over a year ago and he moved across the country. Creepy.

There was this black guy who stalked me and he found out my name, address, phone number and harassed me. He kept calling my house and leaving abusive emails to me threatening me and stuff. The guy lived in Brooklyn. I went to Manhattan, and somehow he found that out, but luckily when I was already back home. He kept emailing me and telling me how he was looking for me and wanted to meet me and stuff. It was really creepy. I finally changed my email and my messanger names and he disappeared.

i wish i had a stalker :(

i seem to attract stalker type people. i remember my old best friend was jealous of me because i didn't hang out with her as much (because she got into tweek) and she used to call me, and if i didnt pick up the phone sometimes I would get messages "Bre, i just drove by your house, I know you're home, your car is parked outside, why wont you fucking talk to me?"...it was kind of stalker-ish, but i have just had other people trying to track me down or obsessively calling me or following me at parties... now ive learned NOT to give out my cel phone number. right now my answering machine says "The number you have called has been disconnected..." hehe...and I've learned not to be so nice to weird strangers that you really want nothing to do with in the future. currently nobody is trying to stalk me, and nobody seems to miss me, and a lot of people who have come and gone in my life seem to not remember me... im not sure if i would rather feel like nobody cares or feel like somebody is obsessed with me. yah i know thats kind of weird... ok i should take these emotions and put them in a journal, sorry haha

your not the only one that feels that way at times Bre

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Originally Posted by CPRB

your not the only one that feels that way at times Bre

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im glad im not alone *hugs* ;)