How do you deal with chameleons who . . .

How do you deal with chameleon type people who will seem like you have tons in common with you, but then someone totally different from you will think that person has tons in common with them?

I mean, I think I am pretty multifaceted and there are people I really like and relate to who do not have much in common with one another.

But I do not totally change my opinions, worldview, and personal history to relate to different sorts of people. I just relate to varied personalities because I have so far lived a life with a lot of variety.

I seem to sometimes attract the sort of yes-man kind of people who try to always say what is desired, rather than what they truly mean or feel. Some of them, I think, do not truly have an opinion on anything, other than what they soak up from those around them.

But I think I am sometimes suspicious that someone is just stroking me, when really they are being totally genuine and there is a real human connection there.

How does one distinguish between people who are just spouting what they think you will want to hear and will be spouting what the other guy wants to hear next week and the the real deal?

Well, in My case, I am ALWAYS telling the truth. I abhor lying.

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Originally Posted by BrightStar

Well, in My case, I am ALWAYS telling the truth. I abhor lying.

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same here, and I've gotten in trouble many times for it.

Many of my friends here, especially my foreign exchange friends, I have almost nothing in common with, except that we speak each other's language, just not very good. But for me, they're friends because I want to know people before I actually go there for a year. I help them when they ask, and they help me when I ask. So even though we don't have much in common, I still enjoy their company. But even the friends that I have out of common interest. I'm always honest with them, and they're honest with me. If I don't like someone, people know.

Yeah, I have also gotten into trouble many times because of it.

Especially since almost all the people in the colleges around here are right-wing christian conservatives, or some similar type of uber psycho fanatic.

I get very suspicious of people who seem able to take all sides as opposed to hear all sides. It is a form of flip flopping which I don't like at all, a form of sucking up to people by being what they want instead of what you are.

[QUOTE=AmeliaG]How do you deal with chameleon type people who will seem like you have tons in common with you, but then someone totally different from you will think that person has tons in common with them?

I was talking to a couple of christian conservatives the other day, it was surprising what they did and did not believe in.

I mean, I think I am pretty multifaceted and there are people I really like and relate to who do not have much in common with one another.

You actually tend not to give viewpoints, Amelia. I do not mean that as attack, either. You seem to at least try to be objective which makes your questions sometimes interesting.

But I do not totally change my opinions, worldview, and personal history to relate to different sorts of people. I just relate to varied personalities because I have so far lived a life with a lot of variety.

My life has been too strange to even bother with that. The fundamental viewpoints never change, tho.

I seem to sometimes attract the sort of yes-man kind of people who try to always say what is desired, rather than what they truly mean or feel. Some of them, I think, do not truly have an opinion on anything, other than what they soak up from those around them.

In what context? In your role as a photographer/publisher?

But I think I am sometimes suspicious that someone is just stroking me, when really they are being totally genuine and there is a real human connection there.

For me, it's easy to support people who have completely different agendas than I do.
I try to be a bit of a motivator as long as it does not affect my self-interest. I can't speak for other people who come across you, Amelia, but I and others have nothing to gain. These things were never more than a hobby for me. I think the key is what do people want *from you*

How does one distinguish between people who are just spouting what they think you will want to hear and will be spouting what the other guy wants to hear next week and the the real deal

Follow the potential of what they may be trying to get out of you. That's game, set, and match. You are speaking in part about a personality type tho, as well. I am pretty lucky that virtually noone gives a shit about ukrainian studies. It makes my life a lot simpler. You put out a glossy mag, you have to really observe what the bottom line is. I would hope you do not become so cynical that you would assume everyone has such aspirations, most do not.


OEC

Ideal with chameleons by turning of their heat rocks so they get cold or i put them in a smaller tank...

It usualy takes me a little while to see through people, but then I just stop talking to them all together.

If I am the least bit suspicious, I lend the subject a $20 and see how long it takes them to: pay it back, mention it, fill Yoshi (my car), or foot for my txt to the next Pigface show.

Failure to do one of these things within 30 days puts the subject on my blacklist.