Do your friends sometimes desert you when your situation changes?

I'd always heard the expression "fair weather friends" meaning friends who will only be there in good times but will abandon you in bad ones. I find that, in the sucky human dept, I am more likely to pick up bad weather friends i.e. people who sabotage me when things are going well. I think true friends are there through thick and thin, feel sympathy when times are bad and feel joy when things go well. I am happy for my friends when things go their way and I am sad when things do not. I'm kind of a risk taker, so I tend to have both good fortune and bad. I don't pick my friends based on how successful they are or are not, but it seems like a lot of people do. Some people can seem like friends if they will listen when you are down, but often those same people will try aggressively to elicit complaints when there is nothing to whinge about at all. There is nothing that will turn me off a person more than if they pretend to be my friend but get angry and negative when they should be sharing my joy.

Anyone else here find that they have either fair weather friends or bad weather friends?

nope I don'thave many friends at all and the friends I do have, by being picky, are not. I can count on them and they on me 24/7. Yes I am proud of the fact, why, cause there aren't many people out there like that. True friends are the ones who give you shit when they know you can do better and put it all on the line....they are the ones you think are dicks but at the end of the day you realize the give a damn and are willing to lay thier concerns out there.....I had had some nasty friends in the past ones who manipulated girl friends and all kinds of stuff....anyhow love to chat but there's a Cradle of Filth Vidoe on TV...and I think I need to say all I have to

my freinds seem to be supportive when things are bad for me as long as things are ok for them, but when things are bad for them, they seem to not give a shit about anyone else and act like they are the victims of the worst universal tragedy of all time. It's kind of the same when good things happen to them. they don't really care about your situation unless it effects there's, so I guess it's really only when nothing eventful is happening to them that they take an intrest in your life so that they can live vicariously through you and be redeem from boredom.
I don't know if that's "fair whether" but it does seem kind of shallow/ drama queen.

I think if they are fair weather or try to knock you down like that, they were never friends to begin with. The only caveat I can think of is that friends should tell friends what they *need* to hear as opposed to what they want to. It doesn't sound like that was the case tho.

OEC

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Originally Posted by AmeliaG

I'd always heard the expression "fair weather friends" meaning friends who will only be there in good times but will abandon you in bad ones. I find that, in the sucky human dept, I am more likely to pick up bad weather friends i.e. people who sabotage me when things are going well. I think true friends are there through thick and thin, feel sympathy when times are bad and feel joy when things go well. I am happy for my friends when things go their way and I am sad when things do not. I'm kind of a risk taker, so I tend to have both good fortune and bad. I don't pick my friends based on how successful they are or are not, but it seems like a lot of people do. Some people can seem like friends if they will listen when you are down, but often those same people will try aggressively to elicit complaints when there is nothing to whinge about at all. There is nothing that will turn me off a person more than if they pretend to be my friend but get angry and negative when they should be sharing my joy.

Anyone else here find that they have either fair weather friends or bad weather friends?

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Of course!!! Amelia, you are in SHOW BIZ, and it is cut throat!!! Even though it seems like it isn't show biz, it IS show biz. You are dealing with vain people with big egos, jealous people. You have to be really careful. You have to just be able to let go and find new friends, or just be by yourself. People can do a LOT of damage if you let them.

Take care of yourself, and trust no one.

Some friendships are weird. I still communicate with one of my ex-girlfriends, partly based on the fact that she was the only one who had the balls to call me a loser when I was clearly acting like one. At the time, it seemed like she was trying to hurt me, when really, she just wanted me to stop acting like a baby and start acting like a man. She's really a very smart girl and one of my best friends, even though I rarely call her. Now, if I had been diagnosed with cancer or something that was out of my control, then she would have supported me all the way, but under the circumstances, she was a better friend by showing me what I was doing to myself, then getting out of the way when it was obvious that I wasn't going to change my mind. For me, it is almost better to have everyone dump me than to have a shoulder to cry on... unless I/someone I loved got cancer, of course.


And yes... To paraphrase the Mistress, Showbiz is ho-biz ;)

I don't know if I agree with the showbiz thing, in the fact that I belive that people are like that in general in my experience. However, in my experience, there IS no such thing as a steady friend. Everyone I've ever been friends with has ditched me the moment my situation changes. People in general will be near a person as long as they are usefull, no matter what the context.

I think that many people can end up seeming carless, because sometimes they don't know or care how emotionally involved/dependant someone is on the friendship.