What is wrong with you? - come diagnose yourself!

So sometimes the internet can calm health worries and sometimes it can fan the flames of hypochondria. A while ago, I found out that someone whose glass I had drunk from had herpes. I, of course, immediately decided that a place I had bitten my lip must be a lifelong STD infection. In this case, the internet was comforting as I was able to find numerous photos of oral lesions which demonstrated conclusively that the place I bit my lip many weeks after the potential exposure looked NOTHING like herpes.

Happily there is the internet Worst Case diagnosis quiz. Here is what I got:

You have Cerebral Malaria
http://homepage.mac.com/tonyjohnston.../biohazard.jpg
How you get it: Parasite passed through mosquito bite, especially frequent in children.
Incubation period: 7 days to 6 months
Early symptoms: generalised body ache, tiredness, headache, sore throat, diarrhea, and fever
Symptoms at full disease onset: Sudden onset of high swinging fever with marked shivering and dramatic perspiration
Final outcome of this horrible disease: In this form, the malaria virus is able to pass from the bloodstream into the brain. As time passes and the parasite eats away at brain tissue, delirium, coma, and death are a certainty

There is nothing you can do now but wait for death to arrive and hope it comes quickly. Make your peace.

get your own internet diagnosis

What is wrong with you?

You have Amoebic Meningoencephalitis

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How you get it: Organism enters bloodstream through nasal passages while swimming, especially in stagnant, warm water. This amoeba has been found throughout the world.
Incubation period: 1 to 3 days
Early symptoms: Severe headache, fever
Symptoms at full disease onset: Convulsions, lethargy, cognitive failure
Final outcome of this horrible disease: After entering the bloodstream, this amoeba finds its way into the fluid surrounding the brain and spinal chord. Within a day or two, the brain and spinal fluid are overwhelmed by amoeba, causing meningitis, encephalitis, cognitive failure and convulsions. C*ma and brain death follow within 72 hours. There is no treatment.

There is nothing you can do now but wait for death to arrive and hope it comes quickly. Make your peace.


Also, I am filled with hate because I have to spell C*ma with a * because I do not have enough posts to list links yet.

You have Bubonic Plague

How you get it: Close contact with an infected host. Fleas, cats, rats and squirrels are the most common hosts.
Incubation period: 2 to 6 days
Early symptoms: Fever, Chills, Sore throat, Headache, Weakness, Malaise, Nausea, Diarrhea, Gastrointestinal distress, Cough, Bloody sputum, Shortness of breath, Stiff neck
Symptoms at full disease onset: Gangrene and necrosis of areas such as the digits, penis. Bleeding from body openings, red circular lesions form on skin.
Final outcome of this horrible disease: The rosy lesions. "bubos," that have gradually formed on the skin begin to necrotize, turning the skin black, especially in the extremities. Internal lesions become infectious pustules that seep into the bloodstream causing blood poisoning, or "septicemia," and eventually death.

There is nothing you can do now but wait for death to arrive and hope it comes quickly. Make your peace.

Other possibilities: Kuru, Ebola, Rabies, Tetanus, Creutzfeldt-Jakob, SARS, West Nile, Necrotizing Fasciitis, Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrome, Subacute sclerosing panencephalitis, Amoebic Meningoencephalitis, Cerebral Malaria, Pneumonic Plague, Bacteremia due to Burkholderia pseudomallei, or Bubonic Plague.

You have Creutzfeldt-Jakob

How you get it: Genetic; variant (Mad Cow) acquired by eating the brain or nervous tissue of an infected animal. Like Kuru, this is a prion disorder.
Incubation period: 1 to 30 years
Early symptoms: Confusion, involuntary muscle jerks, insomnia, impaired judgment, memory, and vision
Symptoms at full disease onset: Loss of muscular coordination, slurred speech, severe mental impairment.
Final outcome of this horrible disease: Systematic loss of brain function over the course of a year within onset of symptoms. Inability to control muscles, blindness, cognitive failure, coma, death.

There is nothing you can do now but wait for death to arrive and hope it comes quickly. Make your peace.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by DyingSunshine

You have Creutzfeldt-Jakob

How you get it: Genetic; variant (Mad Cow) acquired by eating the brain or nervous tissue of an infected animal. Like Kuru, this is a prion disorder.
Incubation period: 1 to 30 years
Early symptoms: Confusion, involuntary muscle jerks, insomnia, impaired judgment, memory, and vision
Symptoms at full disease onset: Loss of muscular coordination, slurred speech, severe mental impairment.
Final outcome of this horrible disease: Systematic loss of brain function over the course of a year within onset of symptoms. Inability to control muscles, blindness, cognitive failure, coma, death.

There is nothing you can do now but wait for death to arrive and hope it comes quickly. Make your peace.

---

Remind me not to eat at your place ;)

You have Creutzfeldt-Jakob
WTF?! No, I don't! I've actually already been diagnosed with a few disorders. I have a major depressive order, I'm bipolor, and I suspect I'm sczophrenic. The suspicion hasn't been confirmed but the voices inside my head tell me I am and they're usually right......
~Drusilla

ive got you all beat.... I HAVE RABIES!!!!!!!!!!!

"You have SARS
How you get it: Contact with highly contagious airborne virus. Lock-down quarantine is common once a case is diagnosed.
Incubation period: 2 to 7 days
Early symptoms: Headache, chills, stiffness
Symptoms at full disease onset: High fever, shortness of breath, dry cough.
Final outcome of this horrible disease: Those early breathing difficulties progress into pneumonia and, in the end, you'll slip into a coma and die rather abruptly of accute respiratory failure while your grief stricken family watches tearfully from outside your plastic bubble."

ha. ha. ha... hack!

You have Tetanus

How you get it: Bacteria enters body via puncture wound
Incubation period: 3 to 21 days
Early symptoms: Soreness in neck and jaw, heart rate fluctuations, low grade fever
Symptoms at full disease onset: Lockjaw, muscular spasms, sweating, utter fatigue from muscular contractions
Final outcome of this horrible disease: Severe muscular contractions cause the spinal column to twist and curve, eventually bending and snapping bones in the arms and legs. Death is caused by respiratory failure. Have you had your shots?

There is nothing you can do now but wait for death to arrive and hope it comes quickly. Make your peace.

RABIES! YES! If anyone's interested I'll be foaming at the mouth and biting all week! Try the veal it's excellent.

I have the West Nile Virus

How you get it: Mosquito bite, organ transplant
Incubation period: 3 to 15 days
Early symptoms: Headache, irritability, fatigue, rash
Symptoms at full disease onset: Confusion, swelling of the brain, tremors and weakness
Final outcome of this horrible disease: Encephalitis and meningitis are the most deadly features of this malady. Brain swelling causes convulsions and cognitive failure. Swelling of other nervous tissues cause muscular degeneration and severe pain. Either way, the outcome is coma and eventual death.

There is nothing you can do now but wait for death to arrive and hope it comes quickly. Make your peace.

Mad cow disease lol

Bubonic Plague
How you get it: Close contact with an infected host. Fleas, cats, rats and squirrels are the most common hosts.
Incubation period: 2 to 6 days
Early symptoms: Fever, Chills, Sore throat, Headache, Weakness, Malaise, Nausea, Diarrhea, Gastrointestinal distress, Cough, Bloody sputum, Shortness of breath, Stiff neck
Symptoms at full disease onset: Gangrene and necrosis of areas such as the digits, penis. Bleeding from body openings, red circular lesions form on skin.
Final outcome of this horrible disease: The rosy lesions. "bubos," that have gradually formed on the skin begin to necrotize, turning the skin black, especially in the extremities. Internal lesions become infectious pustules that seep into the bloodstream causing blood poisoning, or "septicemia," and eventually death.

There is nothing you can do now but wait for death to arrive and hope it comes quickly. Make your peace.

I was born a Diabetic, but I am fatally allergic to all forms of insulin. My body views insulin as a fareign body, and attacks it, this it can cause my demise. Think of it like someone who has lupus and the body attacks the blood.

I manage it as best I can with diet and exercise, but I am in constant pain.

You have West Nile

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How you get it: Mosquito bite, organ transplant
Incubation period: 3 to 15 days
Early symptoms: Headache, irritability, fatigue, rash
Symptoms at full disease onset: Confusion, swelling of the brain, tremors and weakness
Final outcome of this horrible disease: Encephalitis and meningitis are the most deadly features of this malady. Brain swelling causes convulsions and cognitive failure. Swelling of other nervous tissues cause muscular degeneration and severe pain. Either way, the outcome is coma and eventual death.

There is nothing you can do now but wait for death to arrive and hope it comes quickly. Make your peace.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm kind of disappointed I wanted Ebola. Then I would cough on people and laugh.

You have Ebola

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How you get it: Contact with infected person or other carrier. Due to the quick and destructive power of ebola, it's believed that there is a yet undiscovered ebola resistant carrier animal that is responsible for the occasional outbreaks.
Incubation period: 3 weeks
Early symptoms: headache, weakness, and muscle aches
Symptoms at full disease onset: vomiting, abdominal maladies, throat and eye inflammation, bleeding from body openings
Final outcome of this horrible disease: Destruction of internal tissues through rapid viral replication, blood loses the ability to clot and you die from extreme internal hemorrhaging. To the outside world, it looks as though your insides have liquified and are pouring out your various holes.

There is nothing you can do now but wait for death to arrive and hope it comes quickly. Make your peace.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


HA... see honey,
I got it...when you
get home, I've give
it to you.


Twice, even :1bluewink

ohhhh im so jealous, hempknight got ebola... thats been my favorite virus for years!!
lets see what i end up with hmmmm *takes quiz*

How you get it: Contact between bacteria and abrasion or laceration in the skin
Incubation period: 24 hours
Early symptoms: Redness around skin abrasion, deep tissue soreness, diarrhea, nausea, fever, confusion, dizziness, weakness, and general malaise
Symptoms at full disease onset: Black blisters form in the skin and spread quickly. Within hours the blisters begin to appear on other parts of the body and eventually burst and ooze black fluid.
Final outcome of this horrible disease: Rapid degeneration of the body under the effects of the toxins released by the bacteria, causing severe nausea, deep tissue pain, unconsciousness, death.

There is nothing you can do now but wait for death to arrive and hope it comes quickly. Make your peace.

OH NOES!!!... yucky...

ok this scares me...ive been here for a while and i keep seeing 2 people a lot that seem simialar..guess who one of them are...heres a hint ^_^

i have Necrotizing Fasciitis
How you get it: Contact between bacteria and abrasion or laceration in the skin
Incubation period: 24 hours
Early symptoms: Redness around skin abrasion, deep tissue soreness, diarrhea, nausea, fever, confusion, dizziness, weakness, and general malaise
Symptoms at full disease onset: Black blisters form in the skin and spread quickly. Within hours the blisters begin to appear on other parts of the body and eventually burst and ooze black fluid.
Final outcome of this horrible disease: Rapid degeneration of the body under the effects of the toxins released by the bacteria, causing severe nausea, deep tissue pain, unconsciousness, death.

There is nothing you can do now but wait for death to arrive and hope it comes quickly. Make your peace.

You have Kuru

How you get it: Contact with infected human brains, usually as part of the canibalistic funeral ritual of the Fore tribe in New Guinea or as a doctor treating someone with kuru.
Incubation period: 1 to 30 years
Early symptoms: Unsteady gait,slurred speech, marked feelings of indifference
Symptoms at full disease onset: Tremors, total loss of muscular control
Final outcome of this horrible disease: Incapacitation, coma, death within a year of onset

When I die, as part of my funeral ritual, you all must consume a spoonful of my brains. That way I know that I, as well as my horrible disease, live on.

pneumonic plague............. damn and all this time I thought it was the cigs doing me in.

Wow. Me and NudeMuse and Descending Angel have West Nile...
Let's say we have a party before we both die and our brains swell up?
How you get it: Mosquito bite, organ transplant
Incubation period: 3 to 15 days
Early symptoms: Headache, irritability, fatigue, rash
Symptoms at full disease onset: Confusion, swelling of the brain, tremors and weakness
Final outcome of this horrible disease: Encephalitis and meningitis are the most deadly features of this malady. Brain swelling causes convulsions and cognitive failure. Swelling of other nervous tissues cause muscular degeneration and severe pain. Either way, the outcome is coma and eventual death.

There is nothing you can do now but wait for death to arrive and hope it comes quickly. Make your peace.

Bubonic Plague..........I guess it's true when they say "History repeats itself".

ebola is a popular one! its my diagnosis too.