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At the moment I am fiending so bad to tweak. I haven't done so in almost two years. Someone I was very close to lost their life over tweak & sinse then I've vowed to never do it again. However at random times (or when it's present) I just get the urge to do so, so badly. I'm shivering just thinking about it, my body is telling me it wants it & I don't know why.
Anyone else suffer from this same problem? Wich is one that I can't see ever completelly going away.
have you ever hung around really fucked up tweekers when you were sober? not a pretty site. thats what keeps me from doing it. well that and I devorced my ex wife because she needed a line just so she could even out and sleep. that shit is so nasty. dont even think about it. and dont do it. you dont need it.
I don't think there is anything wrong with occasional use, but, if you made yourself a promise not to do it, you will probably feel so much better if you don't do it. Good luck. Sending positive energy your way.
Probably not the best advice, but Maybe you could use Porn instead? **
personally i have seen sooo many people fuck up their life to tweak...bleh its just a nasty nasty drug to do. but i understand what you mean by fiending... right now i have an urge to do E and i havent done it since new years 2004. i just really have had bad experiences with tweekers and i cant stand them, but im sure like any drug if you watch yourself and make sure to stay smart and not go on some crazy tweeker binge then ull be okay...but it's hard for people who do tweek to just do it once and stop, huh. my best friend got into tweek and wow it really fucked with her. now her boyfriend who we thought was a winner is a friggin loser and has messed up his life to the drug. he looks like a skeleton!! but hey, its your body, and i wont have to deal with you when your coming down... :-p my advice is if you have the willpower to overcome the fiending then you'll feel better about it later, but if i you really must to get over the urge then go for it, but be careful.....sjdkflajskdlfjk just remember how nasty your skin is going to look, and your teeth, and your hair, and your breath, and how nasty your attitude will be...
I also find nothing wrong with occasional use. If you dont believe you can control your recreational use, you probably shouldnt do anything.
I party when I go out of town, so about once every three months I get to let loose and enjoy partying. But I also know how to not make it a habit.
. here's a tip: if you are "feinding" "shaking" or any other sign of DRUG ADDICTION, who the fuck are you trying to kid with your 'casual use' bullshit? there's no such thing. here's an Idea next time the opportunity to do drugs comes up, don't do it. which isn't to say that you should never do drugs again, if you want to.. but if you can turn down using drugs when you want to do them, then you know you don't have a problem. if you're still saying "I can quite anytime I want to, I just don't want to." then you're only fooling yourself and go check yourself into someplace where you can get help, if you don't know any place go to a hospital and tell them that you are a drug addict, they'll do what it takes to get you clean. otherwise, I guess I'll see you at your funeral.
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Originally Posted by Camby Savelle
That sounds like no fun at all. Good luck and strength. Stay true to your plan and take care.
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Originally Posted by Morning Glory
I think casual use is that you can turn it down or use it without too much difficulty.
If you're a fucking adict, then it aint causal. bottom line.
look hey I know it's easy for me to say, and you might think that I'm just some puritanical asshole that wants to tell people what to do because it offends my delicate sensabilites...
but I'm sure we've all heard stories about "so-and-so died the other day" and it seems like so far off, and one day so-and-so that mixed the wrong shit or took a bad hit or took to much or fucked off and ended up on the wrong side of a gun or whatever is going to be your buddy that you just saw the other day, and there's only two choices you can make: You can keep using until so-and-so becomes you and you're just another story about some kid who died, or you can get clean and sober.
I've been there. I'm the lucky one. and you don't have to do it, you don't have to put shit in your body that's killing you just so that you can feel good, you don't have to give your money to people that don't give a fuck about you, you don't have to let anything else control you but yourself, you don't have to throw your life away.
I've been where you are friend.. My friends get a little to crazy a little to often. I you just had a little party here or there before and stopped is one thing. If you were real deep into the scene before. Thats another thing. It may only remind you of the past, of good times, of your youth,...
It's easy to waste your money, time and brain trying to relive what was the past. Sometimes I thinks it's better to remember things kicking ass and having good memeorys, than trying to relive them only to be dissapointed. Store your good times and love them even miss them. I ve seen people trying to relive them and usually turns out bad. Good luck though and Im not passing any judgement on whatever you do.
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Originally Posted by Morning Glory
Camby hasn't done it for two years. Don't think tough love is needed. Please, let's be supportive. It's important.
well that last statement was supposed to just be love-love, not the tough kind. but yeah, I know how you feel, I feel that way a lot too, but I like to think of it as a badge reminding me of how shitty I'm going to feel later on if i even try to do what I'm thinking about doing, cuz then instead of feeling like shit two years sober, you're going to feel like shit 2 days sober, and you know what that one is like. not fun, to say the least.
The thing is when I used to do it, it was never a casual thing. It was the only thing I did with my life, me & my surrounding circle of people would do it night after night after night for months without end.
I do think that I am not going to give into it, I don't understand why my body is craving it so bad. I think I'm just looking for a scapegoat. Today is my x-fiancee's birthday, my girlfriend isn't here & here I am home alone online at 4:30 AM. I feel like just throwing my life away.
I'd like to thank everyone who added encouragement & apologize to everyone else for me using this thread as an outlet for my emotions.
No need to be sorry, it's just hard not having someone to talk to. I love that I can come here at nearly anytime, and there'll usually be at least one person to talk to about something. that's what this palce is for.
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Originally Posted by Morning Glory
What Morning Glory said :thumb:
I agree, it's always nice to have someone to talk to. And if anyone needs to talk, I'm all ears. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by AmeliaG
don't do it camby...it's been three years for me...don't start back up...that's bad shit..take it from someone who did it for 20 years.
peace
Camby,
You're an addict my friend. There is no shame in it. Not to be cliche, but you just have push through it by the day, hour, minute, and second. I can show u where AFI got their start, I can also show you where some really cool methheads met their end. My friend died of leukemia before he was 30. It wrecked his body. He gave a good fight but it was too late. These words are all I can offer you.
OEC
A lot of people are probably telling you things you already know.
But to answer your *specific* question, the reason why you have that urge to do it, even after not doing it for so long, is because of *psychological* addiction. It's easy to get rid of the body's *physical* addiction, by going to rehab, detox, etc... But psychological addiction lasts for a LONG time. Any time you have done something you really like, your brain will want to do it again. It's like sex. If you never had any sexuality, and never saw any, you might not want it too much. But if you have had sex, and liked it a lot, and people all around you are offering to have sex with you, you will WANT to do it with them. Even if you know it's not a good idea, etc, your brain remembers how good it felt. That's what your brain is doing to you right now. It's reminding you that doing meth was really enjoyable, and letting you know that it sure wouldn't mind doing it again. But it's just like sex. Once you have a taste, you're not going to stop. It's like telling yourself you are only going to stick it in once. Or only for a couple minutes. Or only one time. And then the person wants you to do it again, and keep going, and see you next week, etc... Once you do it again, you will want more. It IS addiction, and it is not such a horrible thing. It's natural to get addicted to things that feel good. But it's in your mind, not your body. You have to win the mental debate. Your mind will tell you to do it, because it feels good. But you have to tell yourself not to. And the best way to do that, is just to tell yourself you are NEVER going to do it again. Not EVER. So that there is no debate in your mind. You may want it, but you will not do it... If you want to go back to my sex analogy, imagine that your meth interest, is like wanting to have sex with someone, knowing they have AIDS, and you have no protection. They may be hot, they may want you, and you may want them. So there will be severe horniness. But you just have to tell yourself that you can't do it, or you will die...
I get what you mean by "fiending" interesting choice of word, although not from meth I have my own stuff that I wont do anymore, for me when the urges get bad I just tell myself that I am ruler of my own hell and all my demon's or fiends answer to me not the other way around. sounds crazy but it works for me
I have never done tweak so i am not going to give an opinion if I had i would, just my way of dealing with it, I use to do dope and shrooms. I dunno i would rather waste my money on CD's, art supplies, skateboards and stuff for my dog. The one reason i don't do drugs anymore is well a good chunk of it comes or is involved with things I don't agree with such as organized crime and shit like that. i think it's immoral for anyone to say one thing then do another. If your agianst negative shit then just stay away from it. I once met a girl who did Meth, she was cute, smart, loved Screeching Weasle, but she was just not with it in a reality sense of things...also she was more mature then me when it came to drugs and sex...I dunno what happened to her but I met somone who went crazy on that stuff anf she was so pretty yet she had a burned out voice, like it was low and gruff from doing so much of it...it was sad. I hope you don't do it, but if you do, I just hope you survive with all yer mental faculties, you have a great gift of poetry. that we all enjoy.