You can't make any new friends once you get your first real piece of furniture

There is a saying, "you can't make any new friends once you get your first real piece of furniture." It is certainly harder to really connect with people once you are out of school, but I hope the furniture thing is not true. Although I'm pretty furniture-challenged, so I'm probably okay.

Well, I have barely made any friends in person after high school.
I would have made a lot more friends if I had acted they way I do now, back then.

As for the furniture issue, This may be going literal, but you could always get those simple stackable furniture types , where you set them together out of stacking cushions that have those protective coatings/seals on them.

I think it's true...once you get past a certain age you make aquaintances not friends. Though I'd like to think there exceptions to this rule. Really I think you can only make real friends by sharing an experience of some sort.

I hate it, but it is true.

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Originally Posted by Tequila Zaire

I think it's true...once you get past a certain age you make aquaintances not friends. Though I'd like to think there exceptions to this rule. Really I think you can only make real friends by sharing an experience of some sort.

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What sorts of experiences do you think fit the bill for proper bonding?

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Originally Posted by AmeliaG

What sorts of experiences do you think fit the bill for proper bonding?

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Something life threatening is usually #1..usually related to professions like being a cop, firefighter, IRS agent.

Or working with people in high stress enviornments where everyone counts on the other to pull their weight.

But on a less dramatic note...intrests. This is key since it's usually the in road to forming a friendship. Though I can't say that's always worked for me. My closest friends are NOTHING like me and we share few intrests.

Sadly I think most people would be frieandlier to one another and form new connections if we weren't all so self absorbed, prejudice, or downright elitest. While it varies in degrees It does happen a lot...an example could be not talking to a person who listens to a certain kind of music or dresses a certain way. Small things like that tend to create the biggest divides.

If we took down a few of our defenses and insecurites more often I'd like to think making friends as an adult would be easier. It's a real shame to meet people YOU KNOW you could be good friends with but never persuing it due to silly little issues.

You can make friends at any time through out life. Acquaintances come and go, friends are friends, even if years go by without seeing them. I truly value my friendships.

milk crates are the best

If IKEA and hand-me-downs don't count, I'm in the clear.

I think another factor is not wanting to have to explain your whole life to new people. After 30 or so, you probably have at least some important stuff that's too sordid to present neutrally to someone who wasn't there.

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Originally Posted by Will Judy

If IKEA and hand-me-downs don't count, I'm in the clear.

I think another factor is not wanting to have to explain your whole life to new people. After 30 or so, you probably have at least some important stuff that's too sordid to present neutrally to someone who wasn't there.

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I ran into our old housemate on the street yesterday. Actually she stopped at Forrest's and my table while we were eating. I'd really like to be able to hang out with people who know much of the up-to-now info, but she seemed like she just had so much to prove.

I thought it would be cool just to say "hi" and maybe we would get together some time for dinner or whatever. Only she was like "oh my boyfriend might be too busy to have dinner" but she would not leave. If you stand by someone's table for more than ten minutes and they have not invited you to sit down, take a hint.

I'd love to just kick it with her, but she was doing this bad imitation of the LA "I'm so important" game. She got one of those "Dear Penthouse, it happened to me..." things published (or at least accepted) and was like "oh my first real publication, now I'm a professional writer." When I published her how many years ago and in an antho from a publisher as major as Penthouse at the time. More likely to pay its bills too. I could have yakked about my Penthouse credits and writing awards, but, if it is a competition, no thanks, I prefer friendly interaction and, if it is a fight, I play with players. She seems to now exclusively hang out with people who loathe her and who she always used to loathe.

Okay, I'm rambling and she'll probably see this and be offended, so I'm going to shutup now before I type something I'll regret. Must be time to go to breakfast. Low blood sugar.

Just kind of a waste. The one kind of friend you can never make after your first piece of real furniture is an old friend.

She's basically got two speeds: insanely driven and hibernation. I tried to stay out of her way when she was full-on Insanely Driven, since there's just nothing you can say. I think of LA as a place that's purpose-built to accommodate people's Insanely Driven phases.

She's on LJ, btw, I just hit her with a comment to see how her head is.

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Originally Posted by Will Judy

She's basically got two speeds: insanely driven and hibernation. I tried to stay out of her way when she was full-on Insanely Driven, since there's just nothing you can say. I think of LA as a place that's purpose-built to accommodate people's Insanely Driven phases.

She's on LJ, btw, I just hit her with a comment to see how her head is.

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Ah, I probably shouldn't have even written anything. No point in looking up her LJ. If she thinks she just made her first writing sale, well, it is kind of like when she wore the courderoy jacket with the patches on the elbows. She's doing a roleplaying game in real life and there is no reason to keep in touch with an old friend if they are totally out of touch with any shared history. It was just really weird running into her and having her trying so hard to prove herself when I was being friendly already. If someone is already giving you the time of day, it is silly to work that hard at coming up with a resume, especially if you can't remember your own credits. Or is there another way I should look at it?

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Originally Posted by AmeliaG

Or is there another way I should look at it?

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Our old friend has always run a little hot when she's got her mind on something. Don't take it personally when she can't gear down and relax with you without being physically restrained.

(That would be my attempt at being reassuring, in spite of not having laid eyes on our old friend in four years. Any good?)

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Originally Posted by Tequila Zaire

I think it's true...once you get past a certain age you make aquaintances not friends. Though I'd like to think there exceptions to this rule. Really I think you can only make real friends by sharing an experience of some sort.

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This is not entirely true. While it is harder to make friends when you have things like work and such interferring, as long as you make an effort to get out and meet new people, there is always a possibility to make new friends. I did not truly have any friends until about 3 years ago when I met a truly diverse group of people whom I hold closer than family.

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Originally Posted by koolagh

... as long as you make an effort to get out and meet new people, there is always a possibility to make new friends.

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That's really the case then, making the effort. Guess it would also boil down to ones level of trust for other people as well. Seems as we get older we get less trusting.

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Originally Posted by Will Judy

Our old friend has always run a little hot when she's got her mind on something. Don't take it personally when she can't gear down and relax with you without being physically restrained.

(That would be my attempt at being reassuring, in spite of not having laid eyes on our old friend in four years. Any good?)

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Hmmm... what's your second try?

On an unrelated note, was just editing your, uhm, first review for the next round of updates and still have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. Now I just have to decide whether to really post it. Circa old Cambodia I know I would have.

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Originally Posted by AmeliaG

Hmmm... what's your second try?

On an unrelated note, was just editing your, uhm, first review for the next round of updates and still have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. Now I just have to decide whether to really post it. Circa old Cambodia I know I would have.

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Second try: Errr, nope, that's as sensitive as I get.

Damn, which review was that? Now I need to go through the folder and see whose ass I really ripped...

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Originally Posted by Will Judy

Second try: Errr, nope, that's as sensitive as I get.

Damn, which review was that? Now I need to go through the folder and see whose ass I really ripped...

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Ah, that is probably as sensitive as you need to be. It probably shouldn't offend me if someone is just trying too hard to be good enough to be my friend. I feel silly for having been so annoyed.

On a much more entertaining note, cast your mind back to a certain site review where you were definitely not able to get any self-pleasure from surfing the site :1orglaugh

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Originally Posted by AmeliaG

On a much more entertaining note, cast your mind back to a certain site review where you were definitely not able to get any self-pleasure from surfing the site :1orglaugh

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Oh, THAT "review"... I'd repressed that.

The older I get I am astounded at how "adults" can act like they're still in highschool. Too many drama kings and queens out there and real friends are hard to find. I have two and I'm perfectly happy. We've known each other for over fifteen years and one of them is my wife.