I always think my girlfreind is cheating on me

does that make me an asshole?

I guess part of the problem is that I think she'd cheat on me because when it comes down to it, i'd probibly cheat on her. but that's because I think that she'd cheat on me in the first place. is that just fucked up of me? another thing is like to avoid the possesiveness and bullshit of a relationship, we aren't "officially" in a relationship, which ironically only causes more of the problem we wanted to avoid since either of us could hook up with another person and then say, hey it's not like we're in a relationship, because we said that we weren't ( even though for all other intents and purposes we've shown that we are.) and like also I kind of get the idea that she doesn't tell me things, like whenever I ask her what's up, she always says nothing. so it gives me the feeling that she didn't want to tell me what she did ( like maybe hanging out with other guys?) because it would upset me, and honestly, it probbily would. so that doesn't do anything to discourage that thought. It's not really that i'm the jealous type, I guess i'm just the overthinking type.

yup, i know what you ,mean.......you just gotta kinda roll with it.........

it's the "over- analizing" thing my x-feincee does it terribly, i do it , but i'm about the fucking king of suppresing things.....


i'm all to familer with these touchy situations,you just gotta try to just flow with it......

hmmmmmm......i'll try to think of some actual advice .........i'll return!.....

that's ok. It's really not that big of a deal. It was just kind of on my mind so I decided to make a post about it, just to see what people had to say.

Oooh. I could psychoanalyze that one for ya right there. Are you insecure about her leaving you first before you possibly leave her?
It sounds like yes, you don't want commitment anyway and are looking for a way to get out of it..so using 'cheating' as an excuse. Just go ahead and tell her you want to be friends or f* buddies and just cut the cord. stop obsessing over who is going to leave who or do what with who...it's a waste of time and thought.

Sun karma
PhD, Psychology (seriously)
(any other questions... it will be 125.00 an hour..ROTFL..just joking) :thumb:

I suppose you could just ask her

thanks for the psych treament sunkarma. I think you are right, it's kind of hard to commit to someone because it weighs you down and kind of takes away from your individuality. most couples don't realise that, and that's the problem. I guess it's kind of inevitable that happens when people have hangs up, or like me, have hang ups about repeating patterns of other people's hang ups. In this case how can I trust someone that won't be honest with me? I guess that I can't.

There's only two ways to do it...

One is to just be completely single. See her when you want to, but live your own life. It's just sex. No relationship. No strings. No concerns about who does what. Just a bootie call.

Or have a relationship...

If you decide to have a relationship, you need to make sure you are both willing to be honest.
This whole situation about not communicating about what you both did, sounds really lame.
You have to be willing to talk about shit, and be honest, or it will never work.
You have to both be willing to talk about who you are interested in,
your sexual thoughts about others, etc... If you can't *start* talking about those things,
then you will most likely get lied to. People have to get used to being honest with each
other. And once you both are honest, then you have to decide if you want to be with
someone who is into other people, or if you want to be with someone exclusive.

But seriously, if you are not ready for commitment, or a relationship, don't think of it
that way. Leave it alone. Keep it just sex. Keep it casual. Friends with benefits...
Don't ask any questions, and don't let it bother you. Keep it casual, and use a
condom, and you will be ok. But don't even start thinking of the idea of "cheating"
unless you are ready for an HONEST relationship, on both sides. If you can't handle
her sleeping around, then don't get involved. Either casual, or not... That's your choice...

if your young go live life and dont worry about getting into anything serious. anyone can cheat and like you said before you probably would too. when you get older and want to get serious with someone you will want to be trusted just as much as you want to trust the one your with. you dont just gain that respect for one another just because you are dating. you have to earn that kind of respect from her and she needs to earn respect from you. if there is no trust you have nothing to build on and that will allways be in the back of your mind that she will cheat even if she never will.

damn.,, your onto us.

If you have to be worried about someone being faithful to you you shoulnd't be in a relationship with them.

Relationships build on trust and if you have those doubts, the trust isn't there.