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So today I am having these teensy, tiny little bump removed from the top of my head, so I told "HIM" that I was having "an operation" today, and he got really scared and sent me two text messages and called me!!
I swear, I want to send him a fake e-mail from a fake doctor saying that I died on the operating table today!! HAH!!!!
That's not a funny prank. I'd be so angry with you if I were "HIM".
But he is so mean! A total bastard!!
Your funny!
I would totally do that... But i would have your mom call him, while she was crying over it..
I could make a totally harsh blonde joke right now...
But I'll be nice.
Good luck!
Well I am leaving now for my operation. I want to hear the blonde joke, come one!!
You know they are really giving me a brain transplant, that's what is really happening here! I will come back and be a sensible person and date guys with khaki pants that want meaningful relationships!!!!
It was nice knowing all of you! Goodbye!!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bondage Clown
I don't have a Mom... You do it! You call him and tell him you are Doctor Bondage... No he won't believe that..
Dr. Clown? nah!! OK Dr. Blue... Dr. Blue and tell him that I died on the operating table calling out his name!!!
I'll do it. "Hi, this is Dr. Skin. No, that's my real name. Yes, I do get that a lot. Should see the looks my friend, Dr. Kevin Orkian, gets in pediatrics. Uhm... yes. I've a little bit of bad news for you. You know how you were having a great life with Mistress Jennifer? Well, surprise!"Quote:
Originally Posted by MistressJennifer
Jennifer you love that mean horrible ass hole and you know it! Tell him Scar kidnapped you from the operating table while yu were knocked out and she's holding you hostage till he grows some balls and treats you well :-)
Ok..
So skin.. wanna start an office.. I will be Dr. Richard Phore
Carrot
if he's so mean and a bastard why are you still "dating" him? oh thats right..you have morales ;)
Because she enjoys drama. She admits to enjoying the thrill. As long as you know what you are doing, I have no problem with it... If you want a bad boy, you get a bad boy. That's the way it goes...
Jennifer: Doctors don't send out "Death Emails." Christ, what else do you want to do, IM him?
Skin: Kevin Orchian in pediatrics? THAT was comedy!
Voldta: Women continue to date assholes they don't really like because they are insecure and stupi...shut up Marge, women will like what I tell them to like!
Scar honey, you can kidnap me and hold me hostage anytime! I will forget all about him...Quote:
Originally Posted by Scar
Where is my blonde joke? Come on! I like blonde jokes!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDeathKnight
I'm not dating him. I just have EXTREMELY kinky sex with him once in a while.... That's what you do with bad boys...Quote:
Originally Posted by VoldtaEngler
OK so I couldn't get ANYONE to pretend to be a doctor and tell him that I am dead, I even asked THE DOCTOR and his nurse to do it, but they said no! Oh, but I got them in on the whole drama, and the Dr. says that I should still date other people, and that when he is too nice to women, they don't like it... H-m-m-m-m...
Anyway, the DOCTOR was SO nice and he played DEAN MARTIN CD's all through the teensy tiny little operation. They gave me valium and vicodin, it was fun!! I was laughing the whole time!!!
glad you are ok
what was the bump?
so is rough sex a non-padded headboard?
were was the bump (do you have a little shaved area on your noggin)
its probably hard to find another(decent) guy
so your policy is probably to stick with the devil you know
rip off that bandaid
Ok... Here's the stupid blonde joke...
You sure that's not your brain?Quote:
Originally Posted by MistressJennifer
See, it's not even that funny...
:(
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDeathKnight
Well... That's funny... Kind of...
No.. not really...
It has long been contended that there are male jokes and there are female jokes. And there are unisex jokes. Here is a joke I consider a true female joke. I offer it to you in the hopes that women will love it and men will pass it along to a woman who will love it. A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As all men will.) Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00......on one condition." (There are always conditions) Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."(Controlling huh?) The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said....
"Clean my house."
A blonde and a lawyer are sitting next to each other on an airplane.
The blonde,who has been up for sometime,want nothing more than to sleep.
The lawyer,being a lawyer,wants to talk,so he says to the blonde,do you wanna play a game?
The blonde says no.
The lawyer,says come on it'll be fun,I'll ask you a question and if you can't answer then you pay me five bucks.
The you ask me one and if I can't answer it I'll pay you five bucks.
The blonde says NO.
The lawyer says Ok I'll ask you a question and if you can't answer you pay me five bucks,AND if you ask me question and I can't answer I'll pay you 50 bucks.
So, the blonde says ok.
The lawyer says I'll go first,he asks how far is the moon from the earth?
The blonde thinks for a moment then hands the lawyer five bucks.
Being the blondes turn,and really wanting to sleep,asks what goes up the hill with four legs and comes down with only three?
The lawyer,after spending an hour on his laptop and talking to friends on his cell,gives up and hands the bolnde 50 bucks.
He then asks what the hell does go up the hill on 4 legs but comes down with only three?
The blonde reaches in to her purse and hands the lawyer five bucks
and rolls over and goes to sleep
in that case, have an operation to remove him, instead.Quote:
Originally Posted by MistressJennifer