The "Nobody Ever Says" game.

This game came about when me and my friends were sitting around bullshiting and the topic of anti-drug ads came up. One of my friends laughs and says "Oh yeah! Haha, 'Nobody ever says I wanna be a junkie when I grow up."

I turned toward him and said:

"That's true.But nobody ever says "I wanna be a succesfull proctologist when I grow up," either. And how many of them do you think are wrist-deep in butthole right now?"

We kept trying to come up with different versions and I also came out with:

Nobody ever says "I wanna manually masturbate farm animals for the process of artificial insemination when I grow up." But I bet there's a dude headed to the barn with a bucket and a smile right now..."

And:

"Nobody ever says "I wanna be a battered woman when I grow up."
But look how many stupid bitches don't know when to shut up."



How many good ones can you fine folks come up with?

Nobody ever says "I never want to be as cool as Rockwulf when I grow up"






ha.

ok, let's see here...

actually I cant think of anything else.... that's my final answer.

Nobody ever says "I want to become a consumer whore!"

(And how!)

Nobody ever says "I want to get rich masterbating into a cup, on a regular baisis, when I grow up."...wait...nobody ever accomplishes that...my bad.

OK...how about...nobody ever says "I want to be the manager of a shit-hole fastfood restaurant when I grow up." But there's at least one in every fastfood joint, located a few blocks from eachother, in every city, across the country.

Nobody ever-said, "I wanna be a pencil-pushing Ingnorant son-of-a-bitch that can only think of themselves and try to take over the world" .. wait that is Bush...

Umm... "I wanna be a travelling encyclopedia salesman, and die in mexico without a kidney"

isnt that the george carlin monologue

i like the one nobody ever says "its just a game" when they are winning

nobody ever says I want to work at a dead end job till I die

nobody ever says
I want to get knocked up,fat, and settle for a mundane life that suffocates you every second...

at least thats not what I said...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pull~My~Hair

nobody ever says
I want to get knocked up,fat, and settle for a mundane life that suffocates you every second...

at least thats not what I said...

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ok, well.... since you're neither fat nor mundane, I would have to disagree with that one.

Nobody ever says, "I want to be tied to a chair with a gasoline-soaked rag tied around my stapled-open eyes, my hands tied into a twisted flesh-knot with duct tape and printer cable, a loaded harpoon gun held to my crotch and a lunatic whispering riddles into my ear while they masturbate next to the bleeding lesion where my nipple used to be," but look how life surprises them in the end! It's kind of funny, almost ironic, when you think about it!

nobody ever says they want to work at NASA...as the janitor

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Spaceman Spiff

Nobody ever says "I want to get rich masterbating into a cup, on a regular baisis, when I grow up."...wait...nobody ever accomplishes that...my bad.

OK...how about...nobody ever says "I want to be the manager of a shit-hole fastfood restaurant when I grow up." But there's at least one in every fastfood joint, located a few blocks from eachother, in every city, across the country.

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ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?

you mean I can actually get paid for that?!?

(i'd be donald trump status)

No one has ever sat in the gas chamber chair strapped down and then when the gas starts they say "Hey is that Lilac I smell?"

No one ever says that theywant to wind up an invalid in a wheelchair sitting in a diaper filled with their own excrementstaring out the window as the world goes by them as if they are not even there.

No one ever says they want to be a woman having sex to get her man drugs and get money for her multiple kids but how many of them are there out there? i.e Buffalo New York

nobody ever says, I'm going to be a hemorhoid sufferer when I grow up

Quote:

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Originally Posted by drewblood

ok, well.... since you're neither fat nor mundane, I would have to disagree with that one.

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awwww:D

i just thought of one,.. "noone ever says I want to die from lung cancer or std's when i grow up."

Nobody ever says

"I apologize for being a Troll"


and the current President never says

"I apologize for just.. being"

mG

Nobody ener says i want AIDS when i grow up

and look at how many people have and then give it to others

You people are seriously missing the point that the idea is to be funny....

Nobody ever says, "well what I really wanted was a splinter in my taint, all I got was a scratch."

No-one ever says

"No, I've had too much to drink, I don't want to sleep with you!"
:drunky:

No one ever says,
"I want to have a house full of
cheap ass 'Scandinavian modern
style furniture and accessories'."

But has anyone ever seen an
empty parking lot at IK3@?

One from George Carlin

No man has ever said
Hey larry

One from George Carlin

No man has ever said
"Hey larry come over here and stick this red hot fire poker up my butt while I pound on my scrotum with this ball pene hammer"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by -=Asmodeus=-

One from George Carlin

No man has ever said
"Hey larry come over here and stick this red hot fire poker up my butt while I pound on my scrotum with this ball pene hammer"

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Uhm.

...

Not true.

...

I was an imaginitive child.

nobody ever say's "I'm going to stick my arm down a six inch pipe filled with shit" but at this moment there's some poor guy out there telling himself that the plumbers unions not so bad

ok fine!!!

"no one ever says i wanna be a cat lady when i grow up"