writes block

damm wtf ,,i was just sittin here ,and in 5 mins ,,im like wtf my writers block is gone???? IM CURED ,, Thanks peeps ,, buy BB it really works!

humm really not sure if i can put this here r in forum??

but any hoo

Will you be,be my witness
Too all the scars that i must bear
i will not ask too be forgiven ,no forgiveness
and i have no pain that i can share
this is not pain ,there is no pain
just the pleasure i can not share

I donot ask too be forgiven ,no
there is no pain in my eyes
and no tear's will my eyes shead,
and be witness to these scar's i bare
forever on this broken glass
no rest my blood stained head

there is no end to all this as forever i bleed life's musty rythyms
drop by drop it warms cold stone floor
i im bent and yet unbroken
there is no pain in my eyes
and no tears will eye's shead
i will not ask too be forgiven ,no forgiveness
and be witness ,too these scars ,yet again

crap thats pending copy write now ,,lol

gonna like write more to it later tho


so what ya think ,for 5 mins time??

Just my two cents:

I tend to be prejudged against the word “scar” in poetry because it reminds me of some teenager's livejournal, especially when it is combined with the words “pain”, “tears” and “broken glass”; but i guess that's not really a valid criticism.

Also your punctuation is terrible and you use “too” instead of “to” but I know it was a spur of the moment thing (or maybe that was your artistic license...)

Hope I wasn’t too negative. (<--- Correct use of the word “TOO”)

nope ,,like i said ,done it in 5 mins humm r less,but gonna fix all the punctuation later , thank tho

humm just a tad darker than norm,,sorry

unsullied, unexploited
filled with smoky liquid
I concentrated on deliberately working
steadily,
all thoughts of exhaustion and falling
diminishes when there's more than four
of them
I smile pleasantly,
drive the sword into the water
where she is floating on her back
from the first sensation of cold
that I had felt since still living
With a muffled scream,
almost as if the howling wind
that I was suspended in
piece by piece
Embrace the coiled wire
wrapped in a single white dove's feather
that drips crimson fire
and a voice says, this is somehow
linked with the sounds of bone snapping
I could not follow,
and she could hear faint screams.
I am lost
the sound tore me asunder,
my whole body
opens the front door
piece by piece
naked.
I can feel this energy
It's warm, and
open, and
i am becoming that part of me
It's always easier this way
Feel the night around me
I view the passing of a woman
When i can tell.
she's just found a new victim,
saying (with a degree of pride)
what do you make of this?
But i never have before
she gives icy clues
i search for things,
tiny pieces of shrapnel accompanying me,
scouring the passage,
tearing my tongue,
every God and Goddess,
and sucking the energy out of them.

drive the sword,
gives me drawing energy from the furnace-mouth,




i can't keep this up. this is garbage. i have no shame! curse you, babble.exe!

i loves the poem man, its very dark! keep up the good work, but dont forget about the chicas! ;)