hey fatty fatty bum bum

i just read this ona random...thing and wonderd what people think


"My boyfriend stated to me that if I gained anymore weight, that he would find me physically unattractive, but would still have sex with me. Apparently, this was supposed to somehow make me feel better. So ... Yay, thanks honey! so you'd be replused by me, but you'd still wanna get some on the side. Good to know. Will I have to wear a bag over my face and stay clothed?

But after this, I got upset and he wanted to know why this upset me. He couldn't wrap his mind around it, despite me explaining it to him. It really hurt me since i've struggled with weight all my life, it hasn't been an easy thing for me. Still, he didn't seem to care about how much he had hurt me.

Normally I appreciate honesty, really I do. But who actually says that to their girlfriend? I mean, Is he stupid, insensitive, or a combination just both?"


personaly i admire his honesty :o

Well, it was rather... cold.
Honest perhaps, but not very tactful.

I got told a similar thing by my ex once. I wasn't impressed, mainly because he was extremely overweight, and would not listen to anyone if they said anything, even if it was because they were concerned for his health. But he was only saying it to be hurtful, so that may be a bit of a different situation.

I'm so glad my current bf loves curves :)

I'm a big girl,and I know I've got enough insecurity as it is w/out someone who supposedly loves me saying something like that. That's enough to give a girl a lifelong complex! If you love somebody,it may have began w/ lust,but as the relationship moves on it should get to a point eventually where the attraction goes beyond the physical aspects of a person and it becomes more about that person's personality. Someone can be sexually appealing even if they aren't what would normally be considered sexy by the whole of society. I know alot of us have crushes on people who are less than knockout simply because they are smart,articulate,talented,stylish,cute in some way...I mean,I have this crazy thing for Thom Yorke of Radiohead and he looks like someone beat him about the head w/ a frying pan,lazy eye and all! I think if someone can say a thing like that to you than the relationship wasn't going anywhere to begin w/ honestly.

It may be honest, but perhaps it's better to be with someone who honestly does not care as much as this person seems to...

I know that there is a tolerance threshold for all guys.
When you hit 300-400 pounds, then we have a problem...
But natural weight, or a little gain, not a problem at all.

People have to get it into their own heads though.
Some people really find any fat at all un-sexy.
Other people have no problem with it at all.

The reality is that you probably don't want to be with someone who has that kind of attitude, because it will never go away... Even if they stay with you, they will keep giving you shit about it...

Bryan once said something along those lines to me after I had Kaden and hadnt lost alot of the weight, but he said my weight "bothered" him sometimes, oh man I was so pissed, it's just a stupid thing to say to a woman. I think there are thinks that even if you think them if you care enough about someone you dont say them...

Honesty is good.

But his honesty sounds kind of . . . lame.
and mean

Just sounds like yeah . . . find someone better . . .

It sounds like he just wanted to break up with her but wanted her to do it so he could get sympathy.
Personally, I like a girl with a few curves. My wife is what some people would call overweight (she's between a UK size 18 & 20), but I love her. She is not starving herself, so she's happy. I know she would like to lose a little weight from certain areas, but I don't go pointing out such things. I'll support any decision she makes on anything, if she wants to diet, I'll help her, but I won't make sly comments. That just makes people hate you more.

She buys a corset, I don't mind. (Our friend makes them with steel boning so they give a lot of support and control) She likes to wear them. She looks stunning in them. I have no problem with this.

Why do some people have to be so mean to people they are meant to love, and have obviously got a problem that they are trying to deal with?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Black Spiral Dancer

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Why do some people have to be so mean to people they are meant to love, and have obviously got a problem that they are trying to deal with?

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It's even worse if they haven't got a problem with their weight in the first place.

True, as long as a person is happy, it shouldn't matter what their waistline is.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Black Spiral Dancer

True, as long as a person is happy, it shouldn't matter what their waistline is.

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Agreed. I wish I'd figured that out before I went down the eating disorder road.

Oh, well, I know better now.

My experience seems to be that girls look at themselves in the mirror and continually think they need to lose weight, even when they are painfully thin. I blame the skinny fashion models and Barbie.
"Larger" women used to be a lot more desirable as partners in previous centuries.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Black Spiral Dancer

My experience seems to be that girls look at themselves in the mirror and continually think they need to lose weight, even when they are painfully thin. I blame the skinny fashion models and Barbie.
"Larger" women used to be a lot more desirable as partners in previous centuries.

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My current bf has done wonders for how I see myself - he makes me feel attractive without me feeling like I need to be skin and bones. I'm an Australian size 14-16 (why can't there be a universal standard?), so I'm not really 'overweight', but am a little larger than the average girl seems to be.

The fashion industry is awful - I often have to buy clothes a little larger, because they all seem to be desgined for women who don't have much in the way of breasts or hips, which certainly doesnt help with the self esteem.
I applaud nations like Italy who are now banning models who are too skinny - hopefully more will follow their example.

im average weight by what i see around me... most of the girls are about my size.. but im a size 14 in canada, which is considered a plus size... (14+ is plus size) and i know ive said it a million times, but i think its SO retarded that 14 is a plus size, when its average.

BSD heh ask your friend if corsets are easy to make... and where to get the steel boning... and what kind of materila to use... and... well...
maybe just how much s/he would charge for one? (sent to vancouver canada) hahaa too many questions.
I <3 CORSETS!!! THEMS HOTT!!

my boyfriend is the opposite to the boyfriend in question in the first post. he has never been rude to me about me weight and now actually encourages me to gain weight because he thinks i am too thin (i'm a uk size 8 btw).

its nice to feel that i can choose what weight is comfortable and makes me happy after knowing so many people who made me feel bad for being slightly overweight at school.

I would tell him, " If your dick gets smaller, I won't have sex with you." Then pour a glass of Ice water over his head.

He sounds like an asshole

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mmmcherry

im average weight by what i see around me... most of the girls are about my size.. but im a size 14 in canada, which is considered a plus size... (14+ is plus size) and i know ive said it a million times, but i think its SO retarded that 14 is a plus size, when its average.

BSD heh ask your friend if corsets are easy to make... and where to get the steel boning... and what kind of materila to use... and... well...
maybe just how much s/he would charge for one? (sent to vancouver canada) hahaa too many questions.
I <3 CORSETS!!! THEMS HOTT!!

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My friend deals on eBay under Forever In Black, they deal mainly in the UK but can post out globally. http://stores.ebay.co.uk/Forever-in-Black
The Steel she uses is Spiral Steel.

The model of this corset is my wife. http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Black-pinstrip...QQcmdZViewItem

And she is quite inexpensive as she makes them all herself.

She is also the one that made my corset (which my wife takes great pleasure in lacing me into) It's based on a Victorian military men's corset. I know I've posted these before, but I'll post them again.
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y81...y/DSC02793.jpghttp://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y81...y/DSC02794.jpg
Sorry if this seems like I'm plugging a friend, but mmmcherry asked.
I was also wanting to show that corsets are not just for women.

there's truth and then there is assinine that guy was simply flat out assinine. And now corsets aren't just for women I think the smallest corseted waistline ever is still held by a guy whom i'm sure has internal damage.

I finally reached a point where I was happy with my size . .. i'm not a big girl at all . . .
I fit in anything from a 1 to a 5 in U.S sizes.
but my PARENTS are the ones that make me feel icky about my weight.

Just when I was happy . . . they go making comments about how I am looking "pudgy" and my mother even asked me if i was PREGNANT

makes me . . . . ponder on it too much and . . . . yeah

I guess because I've always been a skinny girl when I do put any weight on EVERYONE has to point it out & it really . . . makes me feel crummy cause they do it in a rude way . . .

but really I am content with my body.
and my lover is too.

I've always loved it when a female has curves though. My best friend is much bigger than me and I think she has a lovely body. She's a gorgeous girl.

Women are beautiful, all shapes and sizes.

Skinny girls get called anorexic and larger girls get called fat.
Its all so wonderful -.-

and I must get me one of those corsets o.o

you know, i've had that happen to a few friends of mine... and 9 out of 10 times the guy who's said it, were pushing it weight wise, too...

i found it hypocriticial, superficial and it upset me, though not as much as it really hurt my friend...

i respect honesty... being that i'm a known jack ass myself who has no shame in speaking my mind whether it's politically correct or within company that what i may say i know will be disagreed with...

this "honest" screams to me that someone is more concerned with how their girlfriend looked rather what would behind that situation mentally... and to me, that's pretty fucking cold... there are so many ways to have a discussion with a partner over things to be positive AND honest... to encourage rather than come across heartless...

sounds to me if my guy ever said that to me, i'd slutpunch him right in his babymaker, but that's just me...

slutpunch...? im not sure i wanna know... haha...

mmmm corsets.. im checkin out that ebay store right now :D

a girl once asked me a similiar question. i told her that if she gained weight i wouldn't care because i'd make her do all the work during sex until she burned it off.

:O well... heh thats kinda mean... but... sexcersize is more fun than regular excersize...

He is being honest.
The bad thing is that he is honestly only into skinny girls.
So at least you know.

It's just sucky, because that probably means you're gonna have to dump him, and get with a guy that does not mind... You probably won't be able to change his attitude.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Camby Savelle

a girl once asked me a similiar question. i told her that if she gained weight i wouldn't care because i'd make her do all the work during sex until she burned it off.

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hahaha...i like that


im a uk size 6 i get told im too skinny a lot my responce is just go fuck yourself :)...but i feel if you ask people what they think be ready for them to be honest and if you cant handle it your fault shouldnt of asked.

I had a littl ebit of trouble with my ex .. she put on a fair bit of weight whilst we were going out (in the form of pizza at 3am most nights in a row).

Honestly, I don't mind weight too much and I've been with larger girls and those that need to start eating again (pick 'em I do) and i'm pretty tolerant. When I said to my ex the she needed to get healthier/fitter/lose some weight and stop eating so much pizza I also explained that it wasn't how she looked but the fact that she had no energy, was grumpy, began to start feeling sick more regularly AND was always down on herself.

My suggestion was that we start walking more often, do some activities that didn't involve watching DVD's and just generally amp up the energy levels.

To be honest, she WAS getting a little big for my liking and I was trying to come to grips with it but I was more irritated by the fact that it was becoming more difficult to do fun/energetic/things beside going to the pub and playing pool type stuff.

Still, I do believe honesty is the best thing, unfortunately there's also something called tact that should come bearing down with it!