When Is It Ok To Lie??

Blah I just wrote a long post and the damn computer screwed up and erased it!!!!

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I do not agree with telling lies. I think it is cowardly and insulting. Here's a list of reasons I feel it's OK to lie, when I think it's NOT OK, and what I think it means:

OK TO LIE:
* to the phone company or any other bill collecting agencies
* to complete strangers when I don't feel like explaining my belief system, values, reasons for my scars or hair color
* when someone asks me someone else's personal business, and I know all about it, but it is not my place to share

NOT OK TO LIE:
* to poeple I love
* to people I respect
* to avoid getting in trouble for something I know damn well I am gonna get in trouble for when I chose to do it
* when someone's emotions are involved
* to a person I plan to keep in my life

WHEN PEOPLE I LOVE LIE TO ME, IT TRANSLATES AS:
* I think you are an idiot, threfor I am going to fool you and cover my own ass with this make believe information!
* I have no respect for you
* I am a pussy. I cannot be held acocuntable for my own decisions so I will pretend I did not make those decisions


That's just a brief insite into my opinion..... how about u guys?

When do u feel it is OK to lie, not OK to lie, and what do you feel when others lie to you???

Here's an even better question:

What constitutes a lie?

People are also notorious for "not mentioning" things.
So they still claim they never lie.

I consider a lie to be omission of the truth.
You don't have to be asked a specific question, and lie, to be a dishonest person.

sure lyings alright, as long as you tell the truth

i generally only lie to bill collectors and cops/government officials, and i consider that to be ok, because, well fuck those people.

I'm gonna agree 100% with everything you have to say here.

It is also okay to lie on a mattress, pillows, on a kitty or puppy and sometimes on the floor or the couch or your Significant Other.
S

dude, it's never okay to lie, unless we're talking about bill collectors, or creepy people at the bar................ some lies are for my own protection... other than that I'm pretty much an open book..........

Or when its really, really funny.

I lie to people because.. (usually*)

1. If i do tell the truth, theyll go apeshit about it completely misunderstanding

2. To avoid unnecessary conflict, i dont care who you are, im not down with drama

3. Even though im an asshole, i sometimes consider others feelings, and dont want yours being hurt for whatever reason

or

4. Well, your just stupid, i can take advantage of you easily for my benefit.

and like velvet said, when its really funny, which usually is :)

but those reasons are only in certain situations, like with things that dont matter. When it comes to important stuff that actually does matter then ill be truthful, scouts honor.

...does lying on a job application count? cause otherwise i think i just broke all the rules.

S

lying sounds like a lot of work

I don't feel bad for lying in an effort to stall the truth. ie. "Nothing's wrong", when I really mean that I want to think about what I'm going to say before I say something I don't mean. That's a lie, but I've gotten myself in trouble many a time for lashing out at boyfriends.

I totally lied on my first hospital-job application.
I think its ok to lie if someone asks you " how are you and so and so doing?" (oh were fine!) if you dont feel like talking about your relationship. Or if someone gave you a crappy gift, its ok to lie and say you like it. Its ok to lie if it is for the sake of being polite.
A lot of models lie about their height, weight, measurments, etc. That bugs me. I see a lot of girls I KNOW are thicker/shorter than me who have their measurments listed smaller/as tall as me, it bugs me.

If someone you love lies to you, it totally shows that they suck. All lies come out eventually.

Here's a good example of the kind of "not-mentioning" thing:

Let's say someone is in a relationship.
But they hook up with someone else.
But it's a one time thing, in some other city, and it was safe sex, and they feel like their partner will never know, so there is no need to hurt them...
So they "don't mention" the fling to their partner.
But because their partner has no clue, and never asks if they cheated, that person feels like they never lied to their partner. They just failed to mention something that would be important to their partner.
Now if their partner actually asked them if they ever cheated, and they say no, then they consider it a lie. But I have run into a lot of people with that kind of attitude about lying. That's why I think it is really important that you define to people what you consider honesty. Honesty is different from not lying. Honesty means you need to openly share anything your partner would care about. You don't have to tell them every time you check someone out. But you need to define what things they would want to know about...

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Originally Posted by kellie

A lot of models lie about their height, weight, measurments, etc. That bugs me. I see a lot of girls I KNOW are thicker/shorter than me who have their measurments listed smaller/as tall as me, it bugs me..

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That makes it so difficult..

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Originally Posted by VoltaireBlue

...other than that I'm pretty much an open book..........

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Ah but you're not - nobody is. Some of us have more stuff in our 'public folder' than others, but depending on who you're talking to there's always more you want to hide than admit. I have no doubt if a stranger on here asked you about your ink or where you got your hair dye, you'd be happy to explain. If they asked you for your address and SSN you'd scamper screaming into a tree. It's why games of 20 questions only happen when you're pissed to the eyeballs and therapy sessions can be such a challenge.

The way I see it, a lie being 'right' or 'wrong' doesn't have anything to do with the content, it's all about the consequences. You're all saying that lying to a stranger on the phone or telling someone "you look good" when you're really thinking they need another shot of Botox is 'ok' because there are no obvious negative consequences. You don't get hassled about insurance, the call center doesn't give a crap about one less sale.. so the world carries on unharmed.

If the lie could impact on you or people you know, then most of us would say it becomes 'wrong' after a certain level of trouble. Everyone lies to their partners when they answer "Hi honey.. y'ok?" with "fine" even though they've had a crappy day. Fewer risk a lie where they can see personal or financial risk is attached, or where the consequences can't be predicted at all. The whole resume thing is a classic example - the majority of people 'enhance' their history but only in ways that can't be checked. You say you had more time using computers than you really did, but you don't pretend you did your computing at MIT.

Lying is part of human nature - we're manipulative by design and if we weren't, then there'd be no crime, politics or commerce. People who say they never lie, just did.

mG

I like the metric I heard somewhere that lying is "knowing telling a falsehood to someone who deserves to hear the truth."

Lying? Part of my job. You have to always be agreeing with the customer.

Now in my personal life, I try not to lie. But shit happens, and you have to lie. Big fuckin' deal.

And to define a lie: Something you know to be false or untrue at the time of saying.

If you believe something to be completely and honestly true without a doubt in your mind it is. Then you're telling the truth. But if you even have the slightest doubt as to what you're about to say, you should probably make sure its true before you say it...

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Originally Posted by TheQuietPlace

Lying? Part of my job. You have to always be agreeing with the customer.

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Is that like when politicians talk to voters?

Lying is a tool, you need to read the instructions and be well versed in the propper usage of it before you try using it. It reads a bit like the Bible, but if your patient and read it through a few times, you'll be gliding through life without your loved ones hating you and everyone else leaving you alone.

Do I lie? absolutely, but much like my drinking, only in moderation, and only in public. LOL

is there a difference between lying, and "bullshiting"?

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Originally Posted by seeker

Is that like when politicians talk to voters?

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I'm not a politician nor am I into politics so I wouldn't know :)