Gothic Pick-Up Lines - what are yours?

from read junk

Written By: Adam Coozer
1. “Hey, you in the black!”
2. “Your coffin or mine?”
3. “I never knew hellish demons flew so close to the ground…”
4. “Nice shoes, wanna drink blood?”
5. “Hi, I’m Andrew Eldritch” (never works)
6. “Hey baby, wanna put the SEX in Alien Sex Fiend??”
7. “Gene might love Jezebel, but baby, I love you.”
8. “I heard milk does the body good, but DAMN! Blood does too??”
9. “You’re so beautiful, when I look at you my heart starts beating… I think.”
10. “Wanna go somewhere a little darker?”
11. “Is that a candle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
12. “Hi, I have my own cult!”
13. “Is your pubic hair died black too?”
14. “Are you a boy or a girl… or does it not matter?”
15. “I wanna spin you upside-down like my cross.”
16. “Bite me.”
17. “You are as sexy as death itself.”
18. “Can I impale you with my 7” stake??”
19. “Your name is Erin too?!”
20. “See that man in the corner? Vampire slayer. C‘mon let‘s get out of here!”
21. “Up for a little dominance and humiliation?”
22. “You know, even my penis sheath is black velvet!”
23. “Call me morbid, call me pale, call me yours.”
24. “Aren’t Anne Rice’s writings so poetic?”
25. Don’t you think the human voice, wailing in agony, is the most beautiful of all instruments?”
26. “You’re just how I like my meat: raw and bloody.”
27. “That’s a nice black lace Victorian-era corset. But it would look nicer crumpled up in a ball on my bedroom floor!”
28. “Yes I drink blood. You wouldn’t happen to be menstruating now, would you?”
29. “Wanna take a walk through the cemetery?” (only works if you’re near a cemetery. Don’t try this line in NYC! Instead, say: “Wanna walk along the East River?”)
30. “I lost my black lipstick, can I borrow yours?”
31. “May I dig my nails into your back?”
32. “Hey there, sweet-fang!”
33. “May I lick your boots?”
34. “So… are you Catholic?”
35. “Worship me.”
36. “Didn’t I go to your funeral?”
37. “You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.”
38. “Wanna go for a spin in my hearse?”
39. “Let’s put the ’fun’ in funeral!!”
40. “What’s your favorite Baudelaire poem?”
41. “Can I nail you? (and I don’t mean to a crucifix!)”
42. “You would make a beautiful corpse.”
43. “Ever do it on an embalming table?”
44. “Go out with me or I’ll kill us both!”
45. “Tell me, is your heart as cold and black as your eyes?”
46. “No, no, no… what’s your REAL name?”
47. “You’re depressed, TOO?!”
48. “I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say…”
49. “Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.”
50. “Hey, can I bum a clove?”

And my personal favorite: "Vlad to make your acquaintance!"

Any of the above will do really. Just rate everyone in the room on a scale of happiness, scarlessness, self-esteem and pleasant upbringing. Then pick the lowest score, use number 50 (hehe) and you will be wheeling (don't expect her to bother walking... raises the body temperature too much) the hottest dream goth babe out of there pronto. Gone in 60 seconds.

all good but your missing the ,,,Hey ,,you lookin alittle Tanned ,let go hybernate in my room ,,,,,,,,,,,,, for a year

Silence.

Jackie T

Beautiful, just beautiful...

Don't forget:
"You stole my heart baby, lucky i have 3 more in the freezer"

What the heck? No "Nice boots, wanna fuck?" ?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lady Alias

What the heck? No "Nice boots, wanna fuck?" ?

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Silently glances at your boots, winks:thumb:

Jackie T

"you dont sweat much for a fat chick"

Or "Wanna Fuck? No? Then will you lie down and let me have one?"

How about we go read some poe and drink some red wine while you give me head?

have you ever fell asleep on a grave marker and have the imprint on your back the whole next day

Quote:

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Originally Posted by grebo

"you dont sweat much for a fat chick"

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rofl

Quote:

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Originally Posted by helcyon

Any of the above will do really. Just rate everyone in the room on a scale of happiness, scarlessness, self-esteem and pleasant upbringing. Then pick the lowest score, use number 50 (hehe) and you will be wheeling (don't expect her to bother walking... raises the body temperature too much) the hottest dream goth babe out of there pronto. Gone in 60 seconds.

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I don't know if you are being serious or just sarcastic, but I actually have to agree with the above to some degree. this would work on guys too. It's predatory thinking. believe it or not, it works. I used it in strip clubs all the time. it's a nice skill to have.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by VoltaireBlue

I don't know if you are being serious or just sarcastic, but I actually have to agree with the above to some degree. this would work on guys too. It's predatory thinking. believe it or not, it works. I used it in strip clubs all the time. it's a nice skill to have.

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I use it to get free shit at every cafe and restaurant I go to. When I lived in SoCo, I had over a year period where I got food+caffeine free. It is gender and "sexual orientation" irrelevant.

Jackie T

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jackie T.

I use it to get free shit at every cafe and restaurant I go to. When I lived in SoCo, I had over a year period where I got food+caffeine free. It is gender and "sexual orientation" irrelevant.

Jackie T

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like i said, it's a nice skill to have...love you man.. how are you?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by VoltaireBlue

like i said, it's a nice skill to have...love you man.. how are you?

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I'm enjoying Minneapolis a lot. It has been a really good place to relax and begin anew. How is NC? I'd really love to see you sometime. We just seem to traverse this country in different ways. I've overcome the disappointment of my recent trip back to the Bay Area. One simply has to move on. I do still have the charm apparently, I am eating a free breakfast as I write this:1orglaugh :thumb:

Jackie T

"Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question." - Albert Camus