What lessons did you actually learn from your folks vs. what you purposely ignore????

What lessons did you actually learn from your folks vs. what you purposely ignore????

Aw we grow up and become adults and all that shiiiit, we find ourselves in some ways becoming our parents and in others making our own paths. I am curious to know what you leaned from your folks versus what you absolutely refuse to be taught by them.....


I had 4 parents (divorced and remarried) and learned that there were 4 wrongs and 4 rights to every situation, cause they rarely agreed on much. Having had this kind of upbringing made me aware that there are no absolute right or wrong solutions to most problems. I think it is this that made me pretty open minded compared to people who grew up with more defined rights and wrongs in their lives.....

They told me not to smoke, drink or take drugs, and only to have sex with folks I loved. I didn't listen.

They told me to love myself and although it took a lot of pain to figure out how to do it, I finally learned :-)

They told me that what other people think of me doesn't matter. I care now what people I love think of me, but not what people I don't know think of me.

The thing I'm most grateful for is being trained to be polite. i don't mean kissing ass or being nice to assholes, I mean basic, human politeness. I like saying "please" and "thank you." I hold doors for people. I say "excuse me" if I bump someone or have to squeeze around them in a store or bar. I think these are important habits in an urban society where people don't know each other and where small gestures of kindness and respect can go a long way to keeping the peace. This doesn't always count for much, I know, and a certain kind of city tough guy wannabe will always take politeness for weakness, but fuck them. I'll get to sit at the big kid's table when we're all in Hell and those guys will be holding on to inner tubes in a lake of burning shit. Everyone knows that Lucifer has good manners and appreciates those with enough will to not be a douche monkey 24/7. So, thanks for the habit, mom. You were a psycho in a lot of other ways, but I'll always be grateful to you for teaching me how to, at least, act like a human being.

My lessons from my parents continue to this day. I feel I never can give back what they gave me. I would never delineate what qualities I actually took and did not take from them. I know only that they love a son who was a sickly and difficult kid (and can still be as an adult). I have a responsibility to them now. Even if it means moving back to Cali, I will fulfill my responsibility to the best of my ability.

JT