Relationship Troubles....

I've been dating this girl for like 7 months or so now, and I really want there to be something between us - but I don't want to force a connection if there really isn't one.

Everytime I sit her down and have serious talk about whats bothering me about her, she's always giving me the same damn answers. Its just so frustrating.

I tell her I don't like the fact the she's so damn quiet all the time. And she responds that she's not used to starting the conversation. I tell her that the only way you're going to even come close to starting the conversation is by doing it.

Its like she doesn't want to even try to have any sort of communication.

My mind says we have a future, and my heart says the complete opposite.

My motto my entire life has been "I'd rather be single, than to be in a relationship for the title."

And right now it feels like I'm in a relationship for the title.....I don't know if I'm looking for advice or just posting to get this off my shoulders. All I know; is that it feels nice to let it out somewhere.

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Originally Posted by TheQuietPlace

I've been dating this girl for like 7 months or so now, and I really want there to be something between us - but I don't want to force a connection if there really isn't one.

Everytime I sit her down and have serious talk about whats bothering me about her, she's always giving me the same damn answers. Its just so frustrating.

I tell her I don't like the fact the she's so damn quiet all the time. And she responds that she's not used to starting the conversation. I tell her that the only way you're going to even come close to starting the conversation is by doing it.

Its like she doesn't want to even try to have any sort of communication.

My mind says we have a future, and my heart says the complete opposite.

My motto my entire life has been "I'd rather be single, than to be in a relationship for the title."

And right now it feels like I'm in a relationship for the title.....I don't know if I'm looking for advice or just posting to get this off my shoulders. All I know; is that it feels nice to let it out somewhere.

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relationships are about compromises. you can either compromise here or you can't. only you know what's best for you. what does your gut tell you?

If your heart isn't in it....don't let your mind tell you to stick it out because you're "pot comitted" so to speak (sorry to use a poker term) The question you should be asking is do you lover her? Or feel like it will develop into that? And does she feel the same...actions speak louder than words and some people have trouble expressing how they feel in conversation...maybe try writing letters to eachother she might be able to express her feelings better that way....just a suggestion.

*hugs* i know how you feel sugar. things here have been kinda on the rocks lately. just don't make any choices based on familiarity.

~K

http://www.blueblood.net/boards/showthread.php?t=9091


dump her, it worked for me, and i met someone more compatible.

It can work both ways. In some cases, you can be "in love" and following your heart, directly into a totally fucked up relationship. And other times you have a really pretty good relationship, and your heart is just not in it...

But don't settle for a relationship if it has neither of those things.

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Originally Posted by VoltaireBlue

relationships are about compromises. you can either compromise here or you can't. only you know what's best for you. what does your gut tell you?

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That its going nowhere fast, and to stick it out because it might develop into something much greater than what it is now. Two totally conflicting things....:(

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Originally Posted by TheQuietPlace

That its going nowhere fast, and to stick it out because it might develop into something much greater than what it is now. Two totally conflicting things....:(

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Can you maybe prod things to go a little faster, so you get more quickly to either the something much greater or the highway?

If she has trouble starting conversations, you might brainstorm things to ask her about to draw her out. A lot of people have trouble starting conversations but can communicate extensively and well, if asked the right conversation-starting questions. Think about what she is interested in and about what you genuinely would like to know more about her and odds are good she will open up when asked directly.

Im verbally married (you know, might as well be without the document) and even after all these years, I still have trouble starting conversations unless I'm asked about something.
A way me and the Mrs. get past my lack of conversation style is playing like 20 questions..or playing a bored game/card game. Working on projects together like art and what not.

Theres always making a cd of some songs of feelings that portray how you feel, and since your style is mostly metal some good suggestions might be Iced Earth, or some of the slower songs of Cradle of Filth. They are pretty poetic with lyrics.

If she doesn't go for the aww factor and step it up, burn her a copy of Judas Priest's "You've Got Another Thing Coming" :^)

Well it was either that or Hell Bent for Leather..or Turbo Lover. :^)

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Originally Posted by TheQuietPlace

That its going nowhere fast, and to stick it out because it might develop into something much greater than what it is now. Two totally conflicting things....:(

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then run like hell.