would you divorce someone you consider your "best friend"?

from reuters

Pink is getting divorced

Singer Pink and her husband Carey Hart, a motocross racer and former Surreal Life star, have separated and are in the process of a divorce, the pop star's publicist told People Tuesday.

"Pink and Carey Hart have separated. This decision was made by best friends with a huge amount of love and respect for one another," publicist Michele Schweitzer said. "While the marriage is over, their friendship has never been stronger."

Pink wrote to her fans on her website and thanked them for their support. She said she still considers Hart a "good man."

"This breakup is not about cheating, anger or fighting. I know it sounds like cliché bulls---, but we are best friends, and we will continue to be," she wrote. "One never knows the future, but mine and Carey's just might involve beach babies and sunshine one day. Just not right now. Thanks for the concern and caring."

The couple met at the 2001 X Games and in 2005, Pink proposed to Hart during one of his races. They married in Jan. 2006 and, while there were rumors of a split over the summer, Hart said the stories were "just a bunch of trash talk."

I'm not sure I could do it, but I can see how it could be possible. I've never decided to date someone who was already a very close friend, but I know some people try that out, and if it didn't really work, I think it would not be ideal to lose the friendship as well. I think more times than not, you would lose the friendship, so I think it's a bad road to go down in the first place.

I think you should be friends with your date, not date your friends, if that makes any sense. But, that's just my perspective.

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Originally Posted by ForrestBlack

I think you should be friends with your date, not date your friends

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good way to put it

sure, , I mean I guess im really close friends with my exs so it just seems normal to me, but there is obviously a reason you got along in the first place, right. And with a mutual decision it seems like it'd be pretty easy to do..to me

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Originally Posted by ForrestBlack

I'm not sure I could do it, but I can see how it could be possible. I've never decided to date someone who was already a very close friend, but I know some people try that out, and if it didn't really work, I think it would not be ideal to lose the friendship as well. I think more times than not, you would lose the friendship, so I think it's a bad road to go down in the first place.

I think you should be friends with your date, not date your friends, if that makes any sense. But, that's just my perspective.

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ok, for the sake of argument...
Why don't a lot of people date their friends?
I always hear the same thing, "I'm afraid of loosing their friendship"
BAH!
Fear is rarely a good reason not to do something,
If you are attracted to someone, and you get along with them, why be all negative and assume its not going to work out?

agreed. if its real love then being friends beforehand wont matter, and if its real friendship it will survive a relationship no matter how it ends. everyopne can agree that you need to be friends with your partner, but i dont see why that should be friends after the relationship starts and not before.

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Originally Posted by deviant designs

...Fear is rarely a good reason not to do something,
If you are attracted to someone, and you get along with them, why be all negative and assume its not going to work out?

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Rational conclusions based on objective thought are a good reason though. Why be all negative and assume you won't win the lottery? I mean, you could win, right? Is it only fear of losing your money that would stop you? Or is it knowledge and understanding of the odds?

Fear is frequently a good reason not to do something, but fear must be tempered by knowledge and experience. Irrational fear is dangerous, rational fear is healthy. I don't put my hand on the stove because I have a reasonable fear that it would burn. If someone strikes a match, I don't immediately run from the building in terror.

The definition of fear is as follows: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

The trick is to apply your knowledge and experience and move things from a state of fear, where you are not sure if the danger is real or imagined, into a place of risk assessment and/or risk management.

This leads me to my conclusion. As I stated, it could be possible, but my knowledge and experience would lead me to my own perspective, which is that dating your friends is a high risk endeavor.

I wouldnt but my ex would. Man I need a new best friend.

some things just dont work and i know of 2 couples that have split as best friends through both admitting "it was probably not meant to work out this way"

I can understand them. They share a trailer so they can't really split and so they worked out a compromise.

I wonder how he sounded when he asked "Let's be friends?". :D

i was friends wit my ex first, then kinda got it on a few times, got more serious, 12yrs down the line we were more than friends but never that earth shattering love thing, we split bout 2yrs ago as we both realised we wanted different things n our daughter was older n she was a stronger person, we still hangout n do stuff together as a family and yes i include her boyfriend just like i do any of my mates, people think its wierd but i think more people should try it, be alot less unhappy kids coz folks split up n didnt get along, i even took her out on new years eve coz her boyfriend was sick!

Considering I just dissolved my marriage to salvage my friendship with Rob, I'm gonna go with, Yes.

~K

I have dated someone I considered a best friend.
And then broke up with her.
It all depends on what you expect from your partner.
You don't care who your friends sleep with.
But you probably do care if your partner is sleeping around.
Usually it comes down to those kind of expectations.

In my case, she wanted her partner to dress fancy, and look nice all the time. But if someone is just a friend of hers, it does not matter how they dress. Because it does not reflect on her at all. But she was concerned that people would know I was her boyfriend, and people would say, "She's dating that freak? The one with all the tattoos? And long hair? Ewwww!" But she was fine with telling people she had goth friends, etc. As long as they are just "on the side", it's fine. But with your partner, people have higher expectations than they do with friends.

But if you were able to be friends with someone before, you can do it again. You just have to get over the pain, and usually both people need to have new relationships they are happy with, so they aren't feeling any of that "what if" kind of feelings.

But I do understand why people sometimes keep things separate. Because I have had massive drama when some of my friends have dated, and then broken up. Because then there is the issue of who comes to the party at my place, or who gets to hang out on the weekends... If they had dated just some random person, they can kick them to the curb and never have to deal with them again. But if you have mutual friends, it's harder.

I am hopeful that me and my ex can be friends again. I think we can. The only problem now, is the current girl I am dating is jealous of the ex. So hanging out together might be awkward. Maybe once they are both settled in, and more secure, things will work out ok... I think staying friends is a good thing.

I agree that staying on good terms with an ex is a good thing to do if at all possible.

I think if someone is your best friend, however, it seems kinda weird to break up.

I wouldn't marry anyone I was friends with so I wouldn't be divorcing them...because I tend to like people I'm friends with

I spent a few years dating and living with a very close friend. [For the record, I've always found the phrase "best friend" to be a little weird, because it implies a friend hierarchy, but I wouldn't object to him or someone else using that phrase to describe our relationship.] We split up on terms that were VERY difficult but ultimately good, and have remained friends. It's been weird at times, but we're both committed to being the best friends we can be to one another (so to speak). That includes respecting each other's choices, including the choice to not be romantically entangled. It seems to me that some of our friends have been impressed, while some have been a little weirded out and suspicious.

In the end, can you successfully date a good friend? Can you break up with your best friend? Can you remain friends after breaking up? It ALL depends, 100%, on the people involved and in the particulars of the situation.

90% of the time, the problem is with the people you are dating now not understanding you being friends with an ex. But if you are on your own and single, it's no problem to remain friends. If something happens, no biggie. You can still decide it's not good to be partners. But if you are dating someone new, they often get jealous and suspicious of the friendship. The times I have seen it work ok, is when both people are with new partners, and they all hang out together and get along. It takes time though.

I think friendships with sexual history or relationship history can work for a time, depending upon the emotional maturity of the individuals involved. However, it will almost certainly someday interfere with maintaining a committed, exclusive relationship, as one party in the 'friend' arrangement virtually always maintains some sort of romantic hope and/or interest.

If that's not your angle in life, then no worries.