is polygamy a good idea? a racy lifestyle or a tame one?

Polygamist clothing has roots in 19th century and 1950s

from yahoo

By HILLARY RHODES, Associated Press Writer Mon Apr 21, 6:01 PM ET

For a society accustomed to the likes of Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, the images of the women from the polygamist compound in Texas are almost shocking in their understatement: Ankle-length dresses, makeup-less faces, hauntingly uniform hair.

And while no one would accuse the women of making a fashion statement, the pioneer-style outfits are a rare example of how in an age of overexposure, modesty, too, can give pause.

The puff-sleeved, pastel dresses worn by the women in the sect are a combination of original 19th-century wear and 1950s clothing that was adopted when the church took a conservative turn, according to Janet Bennion, an anthropologist who studies polygamist women.

The dresses are meant to show modesty and conformity: They go down to the ankles and wrists, and are often worn over garments or pants, making sure every possibly provocative inch of skin is covered.

John Llewellyn, a polygamy expert and retired Salt Lake County sheriff's lieutenant, says the women cover themselves "so that they're unattractive to the outside world or other men."

The appearance of unity through uniform dress, however, can belie the jealousy that often arises when the women — who might all look alike to an outsider — find themselves in competition with one another over the affections of the same man, Llewellyn says.

The clothing is also stitched with special markings "to protect the body and to remind you of you commitment," Bennion says. She declined to go into detail about the stitchings because she said it would be an infraction against the fundamentalist Mormon community to talk about their sacred symbols.

Pastel colors evoke femininity and don't come across as bold or strong, says Bennion, a professor at Lyndon State College in Vermont.

Then there's the question of the elaborate hairdos.

The women never cut their hair because they believe they will use it to wash Christ's feet during the Second Coming, Bennion says. A Biblical quote says a woman's hair should be her crowning glory.

The bangs are grown out and rolled (but usually not using a curling iron, because that would be too modern). There are sausage curls on the sides and often braids down the back.

The exact history of the hairstyle is unclear, but it is reminiscent of the Gibson Girl image of the 1800s. It's a pre-World War II look, exaggerated with the pompadour, Llewellyn says. Chloe Sevigny's character in the HBO show "Big Love," about modern polygamist Mormons, has mastered the 'do.

Celebrity stylist and salon owner Ted Gibson thinks it gives off a "homely" impression.

"It says 'I don't really care very much. I really don't have time to worry about the way that I look, because I have 20 children,'" Gibson said. "He's going from wife to wife to wife, so why should I look any better than the other ones?"

Still, it's not outlandish to imagine the prairie look influencing today's styles, given that trends can come from unexpected places, and Sevigny is known as a style-setter. You can already find blouses with high necks and ruffles in stores, and puffed shoulders on short and long-sleeved shirts.

Prairie skirts are in fashion this season, while dusty pastels and neutrals are being introduced to offset trendy bold colors and patterns.

Long hair is also on its way back in, preparing to replace the currently fashionable bobs, Gibson says. Buns never go completely out of style, according to Gibson — he often gives celebrities a half-up-half-down 'do, essentially what we're seeing in the photographs coming out of Texas.

But for the most part, the looks that arise from the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints are likely to stay there.

On her blog, the fashion editor of glam.com wondered if the spotlight on the Texas raid would make otherwise innocuous pastels unsavory, given their dubious association with polygamists.

"Unexpected perversion? Right-wing fads?" Susan Cernek wrote. "Sounds like a good Halloween costume ... or Marc Jacobs Spring '09."

Allison Berlin, founder of Style Made Simple, doesn't expect Mormon-inspired fashion to go mainstream.

"Women don't actually want to look like that," she says. "I can see the Brooklyn hipsters rocking a French braid, but not in a serious way. Maybe ironically."

I think people like that give polygamists a bad name, Its horribly stereotypical.


Seriously speaking....
How many men would be up for having several wives?
It is frowned upon in our society... but its worked as a way of life for generations in other cultures.

I'd like to see more polygamy in this day and age! (remove the aforementioned 'fashion statement' out of you head for a moment....if they like it, more power to them, but I dont... so lets picture the same set up -more or less- with a different fashion sense)

Picture this. (allow the use of the stereotype -where the man works and the wife stays home with the kids- for the sake of illustration)
A typical monogamous couple...
A young couple has a kid or two....
The man works so the wife can stay home and raise their child(ren)

All day long, the wifey attends to the baby's needs.....
When hubby gets home, wifey wants to tell hubby all about her day filled with laundry, strained peas, the barfing of strained peas, the diapers, the bottles, the breastfeeding, whatever.... then she picks up the baby and plops him down in the hubby's lap, and is all like, its your turn ...MAN! Am I beat!!!!

Hubby, barely heard a word she said about all the 'boring' details of her day, after all, he just got home, after a hard day at work, and is now trying to catch something on TV to wind down ... possibly yearning to have a beer, and allow his mind to go blank for a bit... trying to leave his work at his job, switching gears to enjoy the sanctity of home life. (his apathy doesnt reflect his actual feelings of his wife....even though thats what he communicates unwillingly)

After a few Blah, blah chores, blah baby food, teething, blah blah blah.... Wifey just brings junior and sets him in his lap. He loves Jr, but is dying to just unwind....he looks over at a disgruntled wife, who's now beginning to rant and harp on all the ways her job to him isnt viewed as a job, and how she's unappreciated, and she's feeling lost under the weight of being a full time mom, now he's mr insensitive, and its his kid too.... and she'd love the luxury of working away from home, so she can at least get out of the house once in a while....
He rebuttals with his dilemma, she retreats thinking he values his day, his job, his feelings more than hers, she feels rejected, he feels rejected....
Both of them go to bed at night back to back, EACH feeling that this whole family thing isnt what they signed up for....

So they both seek out the *thing they need/yearn for*....however the they both long for is usually in the worst places ... that ultimately crumble their marriage, that yields to a broken home, or a cold marriage.


I've seen this a thousand times....

However, if there's another woman (or two) around the house of a day time, Wifey has someone to help her fold laundry, OR someone to assist her watching the kid while she folds the laundry.... all the strain isnt put on JUST the wifey.
She has someone to experience all the diapers, refusal of strained carrots, diaper rash...and other things that moms/women feel the need to share ....
It works out SO much better for women to talk amongst themselves. And become the support they need.

I've talked to countless men and women about this, (not everyone agrees, or thinks this could be an answer for them in particularly *****citing jealously as the reason they couldn't include another member to their wed ship*****...but they can see the merit this has)

I've had room mates and such when my kids were little, and the happiest times in those days were when we had like minded women staying with us.
(I'm using the word "i" here but I also am speaking for so many others I've encountered who totally agree)
While I had another woman around, hubby would work all day, I had someone who was interested in hearing all the mommy perils of the day, and would share in the house work and stuff.... so when our men got home.... we didnt unload all the things we needed support about.... because we already had it.

This leaves wifey's to be there for hubby and help him with the needs he has left over from his day...

When hubby made it in, I was ready to devote all my time to him, and he gave me what I needed FROM HIM in return. (no matter how feminine he is, he'll never be a woman)

He had the freedom to come in and relax, play with the kids without having that binding FORCED pressure hanging over his head that he HAD to do what he wanted to do in the first place....without having the fun sucked out of the situation by the insistent pressure....

What I like about this forum.... lots of the members are open minded about open relationships and open marriages. Allowing the healthy kinky room.... Omit that and you might as well omit brushing your teeth... it takes all the fun out of being close if you catch my analogy

Me? I've shared my husband with another woman before we got married...

Hubby and me hadnt been dating all that long, but the first time he got 'a hold' of me, I wanted my bestfriend's mind to be blown just as mine had!!!
I didnt partake of her, but I willingly allowed the two to do what they do infront of me, and I thought it was very HOTTTTTT and we all benefitted from the multiple partner situation.

I have a very high sex drive, as does my husband, so sometimes it would be relieving to the both of us if we had someone to assist the .....tired.... party.

If I were ever a polygamist I'd most like to have an arrangement to where we all jumped in together...she'd be my wife too. BUT if we met someone we both fell in love with, and she wasnt into women, and we connected on every other level but sex, I'd still be up for that.
My husband is in NO way lacking when it comes to pleasing in the bedroom, and if it were just me and him for the rest of our lives, I'd be perfectly fine with that too.
To me, its all about commitment in my life, yet I in NO way feel this secludes those who enjoy such an arrangement with less ties and commitment. Each couple has to evaluate what works, whats important to them, and why.

America and other 'one man one wife' cultures have the highest divorce rate.

OR the highest marital unsatisfactory rate.

Take the woman/mother that holds down a job, and takes care of a house hold. Many of them forget their actual role as a woman, and take on the attributes of a man...in order to compete in a man's world. (no referring to transgendered... but rather the over bearing control freak soccer moms)

She has the pressure to be everything all by herself with support mainly given by other He-Man soccer moms fighting the same battle trying to see who's strongest....while the men are fought into docile, Yes, Dear's... to keep from inciting a battle with the warrior woman trying to hold it all down.

Doesnt nature itself point to multiple partner marriages? If there's 5-7 women to each man, theres a lot of people who are going to be left out. Further more, not all MEN available are worth having in the first place... pointing to MORE women per GOOD men.

I feel my husband has so much love, and understanding..... not to mention, *ehem* skill level and stamina.... its a shame to not exercise his potential to the fullest.
He has so much to offer. I dont want to deprive the world. It thrills me to death to think of the first time he gets a hold of a woman who has no clue what she's in for. hahahaha.

I've said so many times earlier, he's a perfectly feminine yet masculine....
We like to joke (truthfully) that he's in touch with his feminine side, and his feminine side is lesbian....haha.

He's also got a malefem side too, thats so hottttt! Passionate guy kisses are so fuckin' hotttt. I'm all up for that too.

But we tend to lean on the side of commitment, and havent met anyone that we could just ....include.... then NOT.
Time will tell, we're not ruling anything out.

With that said.... all the women who want to work, and have someone else raise their kids, (example, daycare or nanny's) Practically speaking, the couple could benefit from having another wife who chooses to be the stay at home mom.
The kids would have the benefit of bonding with someone who's more likely to remain a strong presence thru out their life. As well as the financial benefits too... NOT having to PAY so much for childcare. The bond taking place between child and sisterwife is forged out of love, not simply a means for a paycheck.

Now, to touch on the stinging subject of why most people couldnt commit to this style of living. JEALOUSY.
If everyone is honest, and committed, NOT playing games as a means to an end (example, husband trying to get wife to do something out of her comfort zone, :why cant you be more like wife # 3....she'd do it if I asked her to.... You couldnt possibly love me as much as her or you'd do it....) All this does is breed jealousy and has no valid place in a working poly relationship.
Its immaturity, and control drama issues that perfectly disable the bonds that could be forged in truth and honesty.... this applies to monogamous relationships, or even friendships as well...that kind of game playing isnt healthy but rather a toxin to any bond.

I'm not bashing the bible here, but rather the gross interpretations and condemnation arising from the ignorant attempting to use its text to suit their self righteousness... Our nation was founded on the perverted interpretation of the biblical "principal" of Adam and Eve when mandating GOD's supposed view of how marriage should be.
I've read it for myself, and that's not the direction the supposed principal recorded in its text is leading. The supposed doctrine should have never been one at all.

Thats why most people hate the bible, and have no idea what it originally stands for, because its been taught by others that have no idea what it says... OR WHY its says what it says....
(I'm not going into a preaching match here.... I'm just illustrating why the nation operates the way it does and that its founded on erroneous interpretations)
Whats the reaction most popular when you hear the word BIBLE?

Rejection. Why? Because so many use it as a tool of CONDEMNATION.

Right now in our era, so many people, who have heard people preaching such condemning erroneous interpretations cant abide to what's being taught, and in their own self discovery for truth, they learn the exact opposite as to what's being preached/taught....and would rather DIE than fall into those lies.

I commend you and applaud your use of free will.

I was talking to this guy at Fort Myers beach, he and his wife of 10 yrs were getting a divorce, but just before filing the papers, they tried seeing a marriage counselor, who he actually ended up banging... that led into seeing each other regularly on the side.
He felt condemned by the traditions of his upbringing ....and was confused how he could love them both.... and when asked, What if the counselor and your wife could live together, and be each other's sister wives, would you want to still cheat?
He got the cutest little sneaky grin as he contemplated the possibilities, and enthusiastically shouted NO. Between the two of them they have all I've ever wanted.
And whats sad, they could actually be best of friends, they click so well, I'd love to see their faces as they came home together after a day of shopping, or getting the salon treatment....whatnot.
Man, I'd feel like the king of the world....

My women could actually be happy!!!!
The problem is, I dont feel like I'm good enough, or all that she needs me to be, I have no interest in hearing about all those girly things, and before her bestfriend died, things were so much better between us because she had someone she trusted to relate to her. Now she expects me to fill in for the deceased best friend, and its something I just cant do....
I only feel like a king when my wife is truly happy....
I hate that I'm fucking the shrink, but we fit too.... and I want to make her happy as well.

We discussed how jealously arises out of insecurity, and if insecurity wasnt an issue, Multiple partner marriages could be the answer for so much of whats wrong with things.


We're bombarded with partner related jealousies, on almost every single TV show, Talk Show, and water cooler gossip.

What effect does this have on our own views about multiple partner marriages?

Society has loosened up a little, its a little more socially acceptable to occasionally allow a jump in partner that leaves in the morning or after the deed is done....

But frowns on a committed expression of poly partners.... why?

I watched a news article on TV about a polygamist recently, donned in the ancient looking garb. The man with the many wives made a thought provoking point.....(paraphrased of course) Why do you have a problem with us?

We're committed, adultery is far worse than simply loving someone in a committed fashion. Why isnt that the topic of discussion? Why not go after them? Adultery does more to damage a marriage than a marriage committed to several wives.

Why is adultery socially accepted? Because we're desensitized to it. It makes for better gossip or gripping movie/show plots.

Even in the controversial (in some areas more than others) lesbian/gay marriage/partnership.... its expected to be one plus one.

SO ... dealing with the BI sexual issue.
If a Bi person meets someone they're attracted to, being of the opposite sex, and find themselves forged in a committed relationship.... does the longing go away for the members of the same sex?

Shouldnt there be BI pride too? Love is love, is it not?
We're constantly hearing, love shouldnt be discriminated....love is love....(with the underlying stigma, as long as you stay in my proverbial comfort zone)


I hope this is food for thought.
I'm in no way telling anyone how to live... or what to believe, I'm just showing that theres more sides to a coin than just 2.
Theres an edge, that goes around and around.... but its never discussed in that light.
I think that people should just be happy. If it means staying alone for the rest of your lives.... by all means, be alone.

If it means marrying the man or woman of your dreams....
by all means.... do so.

If it means living in a pack ... as do wolves... as some call it village roles...
Then do so.

Until recently, it was against the law to practice anal or oral sex....
We're breaking out of our archaic mindsets enforced upon us by who knows, for who cares.....

Lets look to our nature, or nature around us to give us clues... Flowers for example require a third party, while the flower is often hermaphroditic.(or just as easily representing the man and the woman and the third party benefit)

Dr Alfred Kinsey, the noted sex researcher has this quote concerning oral sex and foreplay stimulation.

"Some sort of non-penile stimulation of the female genitalia is almost universal [even] among lower mammals, where, however the lack of prehensile hands places the burden of activity on the nose and mouth of the male"

HAHAHA!!!! I love it.

My posting above is ALL ONE ENTRY, but I had to split it up into bite size pieces due to limitations


And for the record, NO I'm not mormon.

U sure? lol

As with most different ways of life theres always gonna be someone who condems it and says "how do they live like that!!" in horrorfied tones, simple, it makes them happy and works for them, what else is important?

I didnt realise the 5-7 women ratio to men, that sounds like a big difference, lots of lonely crazy cat ladies me thinks lol.
But i like cats lol crazies good too lol.

I guess the sharing a partner jelous stuff is really at the heart of why most people cant get there head round how they do it, after all most peoples knee jerk reactions come from societies rules on how u should look, live, etc. I can see how it would ease pressure in a relationship but would also add to it in others, everyone has different strenghs, so for example wifey 1 is the bring home to meet mom type, but wifey 2 is the eat u for breakfast type, both have there up sides and downs, but both give hubby something the other cant, wouldnt this eventualy lead down the same road as the mr and mrs norm senario? lol after re-readin what i just wrote i seem to have proven my own point.

Guess most people would like the idea on some level but know theyd struggle on some level with the sharing of a loved one, to be honest i dont know how id be with it, ive been in a few relationships were we both we re seein other people but i didnt come home from work and hear them having quality time in "our" bed lol

I'd say it would be a living hell.

One woman you're married to is demanding enough. Imagine four of them.
Imagine the cost of paying for four people to live, never mind the kids. Each one will want at least two, so that's, what, EIGHT people?

FOUR MOTHERS IN LAW. YIKES.

Seems to me the poor bugger with four spouses would be sexually exhausted, constantly under demand, broke, destitute, and having to referee between various women who aren't speaking to each other and jockeying for his attention.

Not if they're all friends....

Naturally not all the sex would be demanded from one person.

Ok, please forgive my bible reference here.... the reason I use this example is because the "church" is one of the biggest oppositions to this life style...

King David. He was considered to be a man after God's own heart, he wrote most of the Psalms, and its the focus of several books in the old testament with several references in the new testament as well.
He had tons of wives, hand maidens and concubines. He was a good king according to several history books as well as the bible....
According to today's teachers and what they consider as a holy way of marriage.... only between a man and a woman, one at a time.....
PLUS the exhortation to "render due benevolence" Dont hold back, give it when the other person needs it, so they dont fall into temptation to seek satisfaction elsewhere.....unless the two are consensually apart for a certain period of time....

That would have put the burden on King David to line his women up in single file, and perform for the rest of his life, without being able to attend to his Kingly duties.

You should see the face of the ones with that mentality when I ask this question...........
When David was away, or when he came home, do you think he lined his women up single file to 'render due benevolence '? And what would they do when he was away to war for months?

THE WOMEN TOOK CARE OF EACH OTHERS NEEDS...WITH HIM AND WITHOUT HIM.

Do most men find the thought of two or more women HOTT?
Do you think its a 2000 millennium thing?


See where I'm getting at?

LOL .... I'm especially frightened at the prospect of more mother in law's.
The one my husband has (my mom) isnt too bad .... but DAMN I have a fuckin MONSTER!!!!! Including all the in laws.

It was ultimately this topic, and facets concerning this topic that led to a huge family meltdown ....
causing them to all turn on me, and try to sway my dear husband away from me, incl a bunch more repercussions ....that ultimately led to cutting EVERYONE off from his side of the family.

They gave an ultimatum.... Us or her, and my husband picked "her"...being me.

Since then, my life's been just peachy.
Not all mom in laws are bad, but its not necessary to have them in one's life if they're a big hindrance.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bikerpunk

I'd say it would be a living hell.

One woman you're married to is demanding enough. Imagine four of them.
Imagine the cost of paying for four people to live, never mind the kids. Each one will want at least two, so that's, what, EIGHT people?

FOUR MOTHERS IN LAW. YIKES.

Seems to me the poor bugger with four spouses would be sexually exhausted, constantly under demand, broke, destitute, and having to referee between various women who aren't speaking to each other and jockeying for his attention.

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Its not bad if you condition them from birth in crazy churches to never question their husband, obey all his commands, push babies out, run the house, and share him with 3 other girls. Oh and if he decided to marry your sister or mom its cool too because you don't wanna anger Mormon Jesus.

Not to be crude but fuck polygamy. It turns woman into a commodity and into baby factories. All societies that practice polygamy (to my knowledge) do so by stripping away any power/command or self respect the woman can enjoy.

tl;dr shit is bogus.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Velvet-Tongue

Its not bad if you condition them from birth in crazy churches to never question their husband, obey all his commands, push babies out, run the house, and share him with 3 other girls. Oh and if he decided to marry your sister or mom its cool too because you don't wanna anger Mormon Jesus.

Not to be crude but fuck polygamy. It turns woman into a commodity and into baby factories. All societies that practice polygamy (to my knowledge) do so by stripping away any power/command or self respect the woman can enjoy.

tl;dr shit is bogus.

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I'd have to agree on most of that. In a religion where all vices are forbidden and yet a guy can have as many wives as he wants not mention many of them are under 14. I don't agree at all with any lifestyle where a bunch of ********* shit fucks can get get away with this under the guise of religion. Organized religion is bad and this just another reason.

I think thats fucked up... what you all said, but theres more possibilities to it than what they offer...

I'm sorry O K, I didn't read your thesis. but maybe later I will try to.

short answer: I don't really give a fuck. I would like to see what the pre-nup looked like. I like religious whackos living in cultish compounds. better there than by me.

I understand, it looks longer than what it really is, I gave ample spacing for online readers. When you do read it, let me know what you think.

only way I could get into the polygamy thing is if I had a harem................a big one.............like I was a pharoh

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mr Karl

only way I could get into the polygamy thing is if I had a harem................a big one.............like I was a pharoh

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We shall refer to you as Pharaoh Karl henceforth :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Amelia G

We shall refer to you as Pharaoh Karl henceforth :D

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Sounds like a plan...

All hail Pharaoh Karl!!!

Let it be written, let it be done!

All hail pharoh Karl the 1st

I don't see any harm done, if all parties are of legal age and consent to it. My fiance and I are in an "open relationship" of sorts -- we don't do multiple committed relationships; we just have sex with whomever we want. As long as he doesn't have an actual relationship with someone else, I don't care who he has sex with. That, and he has to use protection, of course. And the same goes for me.

Personally, I couldn't do any other kind of relationship. The only other actual long-term relationship I've had was the EXACT opposite. It got to be to the point where he wouldn't "allow" me to wear skirts or low-hanging tops, I had to watch what I said to his male friends so it wouldn't be seen as flirting, etc. He was jealous to the extreme. I could NEVER do that again, though.

That's not to say I have a problem with those who are in exclusive relationships. Like I said, if they're consenting adults, I don't care what they do. It's just not for me.

I don't mind people in poly relationships at all, as long as it suits the people in the relationship and all parties involved are happy and getting what they need out of it.

Re: Polygamist clothing has roots in 19th century and 1950s


I'm super glad the polygamy look is in. I thought I'd have to trash all those pastel ruffles for a second there.

You can notice decrease in moral rules over the past century as well as increase of polygamist life style at the same time.

Is it connected?

I don't know but I know that such relatively fast change of societies moral rules leaves people confused not knowing which way they should turn.

It's going to take a longer time until it balances it self out. At least 2 or 3 more generations. Not to mention the problem of religion. huh..... That religion again.

Well, todays popular religions were made with a good intention to set moral rules upon people, but the problem with religion is that it is not improving it self. Actually it works against it self nowadays.

blah blah blah... and so on...

Re: is polygamy a good idea?

I have to echo Synthetic.
If it's the choice of both parties, and they are no way obligated to do so (i.e. Morman) I don't see a problem, whether it's 3 girls and a guy, a girl and 3 guys, or two girls and a cup.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lady Alias

, or two girls and a cup.

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Man. I laughed really hard.

lol L A thats classic, minds a awash with possibilities, V T i miss ur dog pic lol

Quote:

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Originally Posted by OliX

You can notice decrease in moral rules over the past century as well as increase of polygamist life style at the same time.

Is it connected?

I don't know but I know that such relatively fast change of societies moral rules leaves people confused not knowing which way they should turn.

It's going to take a longer time until it balances it self out. At least 2 or 3 more generations. Not to mention the problem of religion. huh..... That religion again.

Well, todays popular religions were made with a good intention to set moral rules upon people, but the problem with religion is that it is not improving it self. Actually it works against it self nowadays.

blah blah blah... and so on...

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I'm leaning to the side of since they took polygamy OUT of society, the morals have been corrupted.
I can see how its made it harder on couples/er, families

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That's not to say I have a problem with those who are in exclusive relationships. Like I said, if they're consenting adults, I don't care what they do. It's just not for me.

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Thats what I'm getting at .... and thats how I think ppl should look at the issue. No one thing works for everyone...
No one can make everybody happy.

Agree to disagree and do what makes ya happy

Quote:

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Originally Posted by OrganizedKhaos

Picture this. (allow the use of the stereotype -where the man works and the wife stays home with the kids- for the sake of illustration)
A typical monogamous couple...
A young couple has a kid or two....
The man works so the wife can stay home and raise their child(ren)

All day long, the wifey attends to the baby's needs.....
When hubby gets home, wifey wants to tell hubby all about her day filled with laundry, strained peas, the barfing of strained peas, the diapers, the bottles, the breastfeeding, whatever.... then she picks up the baby and plops him down in the hubby's lap, and is all like, its your turn ...MAN! Am I beat!!!!

Hubby, barely heard a word she said about all the 'boring' details of her day, after all, he just got home, after a hard day at work, and is now trying to catch something on TV to wind down ... possibly yearning to have a beer, and allow his mind to go blank for a bit... trying to leave his work at his job, switching gears to enjoy the sanctity of home life. (his apathy doesnt reflect his actual feelings of his wife....even though thats what he communicates unwillingly)

After a few Blah, blah chores, blah baby food, teething, blah blah blah.... Wifey just brings junior and sets him in his lap. He loves Jr, but is dying to just unwind....he looks over at a disgruntled wife, who's now beginning to rant and harp on all the ways her job to him isnt viewed as a job, and how she's unappreciated, and she's feeling lost under the weight of being a full time mom, now he's mr insensitive, and its his kid too.... and she'd love the luxury of working away from home, so she can at least get out of the house once in a while....
He rebuttals with his dilemma, she retreats thinking he values his day, his job, his feelings more than hers, she feels rejected, he feels rejected....
Both of them go to bed at night back to back, EACH feeling that this whole family thing isnt what they signed up for....

So they both seek out the *thing they need/yearn for*....however the they both long for is usually in the worst places ... that ultimately crumble their marriage, that yields to a broken home, or a cold marriage.

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sounds like a shitty relationship to me, i dont think a regular monogamous couple should have those issues lol...

I have no issue with the polygamy thing and since we have yet to hear about DNA I cant say anything about that situation and dont know that anything illegal has been done,except by the government, but I dont think anywhere in their religion it says "you must have sex with minors" or "you must have no more than 1 male to every 20 females" so yeah I think the religion stance can only shield them for so long.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by OrganizedKhaos

Thats what I'm getting at .... and thats how I think ppl should look at the issue. No one thing works for everyone...
No one can make everybody happy.

Agree to disagree and do what makes ya happy

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Exactly. That's how I feel people should look at everything. If no party is being hurt (unless they want pain, of course) and everyone involved is of legal age and consenting, I don't see how it's anyone's business -- whether they want to have a "normal" nuclear family or they want to have piss orgies every night.