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When other ppl get to know ya, and realize that yer kinky, by whatever reasoning or way they find out is not the issue, BUT upon realization .... think just because yer kinky.... that means yer up for anyone to grab?!!!
This kills me. I'm VERY selective, and have no desire to contract an STD (not bashing those who have them, I'm also sympathetic) OR be with JUST ANYONE!!!
I know me and my husband are ... kinda open... we're JUST NOT OPEN TO JUST ANYONE.
Do you have the same probs? Any of you?
[sarcasm]
Yeah, I get people grabbing me left, right and center
[/sarcasm]
that's because you aren't kinky, BP.
Says who?
I'm just not hot.
my mistake.
Sometimes people look at my art and make some pretty unfounded assumptions about what of course I'd be down for
interesting perspectives.
i'm the complete opposite. most of my partners have no idea what i'm into until we're actually doing it. I dated a girl earlier this year who wanted to talk about our preferences right off the bat, i just kind of nodded and said yes when she asked if I like certain things, and I skirted the question when she asked what ideas i had.
everything was great in the end. i guess what i'm saying is aside from the general rules of consent, i dont want a map outlining how i plan to get my freak on, so i usually just dont talk about it....
The problem I tend to have: People will assume I'm down for these complex sexual interrelationships (ie polysexual, living arrangements etc). Actual sexual acts: To a point. I'm pretty upfront though.
I'm generally deliberately drunk and un-pick-up-able plus lazy so the situation doesn't arise much. I'm not convinced that poly-amourous situations work out that well... never did in my experience.
I don't really have much of a problem with it, but it drives my wife crazy. Because one job that I have is making DVD's for a Japanese porn company, she hates is when people ask what I do for a living. She doesn't want people thinking bad about me, but I don't really care, besides, I usually put a behind the scenes section in the DVD so people can see all the fun we are having and that it is just a job.
My other job shooting s/m events and doing fetish photography has everyone thinking I am a hardcore s/m practioner, that I have a dungeon in my apartment. People always ask me what hardcore stuff I am into but I don't practice it, all my friends do, I'm more of a fetish guy. I think this job drives my wife crazier since when we meet people, they have already heard of me, Oh yeah, you're that s/m-porn guy. But my wife might hate the reaction, she likes the money I make. Our real friends know how I really am so I'm not worried.
Rikosaka... thank you for sharing. I love that you go the extra mile and put a behind the scenes feature... those are my favorites.
You're account is exactly what I'm aiming for with this thread.
....mmmmQuote:
Originally Posted by helcyon
So you have had those situations.... lol
I aint going to lie, and say I'm not curious.
Yes these types of things have come up for almost all of us no doubt and I am amazed & respect those who can manage it successfully. I pretty much couldn't. Being single for the last 12 months or so has let me and everyone else off the hook. I am still allowed to be kinky tho. Love that word!!! So 1970s!!!
I guess I can genuinely use it because I experienced LIFE in the 70's.
I'd say that its much harder to juggle than a monogamous relationship.Quote:
Originally Posted by helcyon
Jealousy, and culture influence would be some of the worst hurdles.
Pefect example tonight i met a girl at a bar that a friend and i were hanging with she seemed really cool untill she got drunk....she eventually found out that I find other women attractive...nothing that I have kept a secret and proceeded to try to damn near **** me in the bar restroom....not cool...I had to sneak out while the bar manager was calling the police. Some people don't understand that just because you ware into certain things or that you are open minded about things that does not mean that you are asking to be taken advantage of.....male, female whatever there are times when certain things are out of line...same way i feel about the gay and straight thing...i don't care if you are gay, straight or bi...if you make a pass at a person and they say no....the answer is no....regardless of your sex out of line is out of line...also regardless of your sexual fetishes...no means no...in any situation. Those are people that need an ass whipping....and I don't mean in a good way ...heheh
We were dating a girl, and she came over one night drunk and benzo'd up, and nearly rap'd me...I thought I was going to have to kick her ass...
Getting plowed doesnt turn me on...
I hate that someone crossed your line...
Damn
Its hard as hell to find ONE person to spend one's life with that's half way decent..... BUT trying to find someone else to include is SO SO SO much harder...
No means no...
They'll eventually get whats coming to them.... this doesnt make me any happier about taken advantage of in the first place though
I'd just like to meet some DECENT ppl... without having to meet all the ones that SUCK... in a NOT good way