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Money is a leading cause of douchebaggery.Quote:
Originally Posted by OliX
Anyway, around here, the american 'dating' ritual for initiating intimate relationships is a lot less popular. Usually people get to know eachother as friends and go from there. I've been to movies, clubs and similar activities with lovers or people I was heading in that direction with, but it's just something we fit into our time together, without all the formality.
I'm an introvert IRL, actually. I rarely join or start conversations and I certainly don't keep them going very well with people I don't immediately have much in common with. When I do say something that isn't about how either of us looks, it's usually confrontatively opinionated and/or far too in-depth and elaborate to be properly formulated in face-to-face conversation, let alone understood and appreciated by the average listener over the (usually prominent) background noise. Really, I'm a geek at heart.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bikerpunk
Still, I get girls (and boys) all over me if I attend events populated by those of roughly my own generation and subcultures (or gay males of any age, gah), and they seem to try their hardest to find me likable no matter what I say or don't say. I think it's partially about carrying yourself confidently and giving the appearance that you talk exactly as much as you want to, but having looks and style that appeal to your target audience really does help a lot, too.
So, y'know, don't slack off out of pessimism. Give the rest of us something to look at, even if it's a silent image.
That would depend on your definition of the word 'date'
I don't know if I've ever been on a real date, the hand holding, door opening, actually having someone else pick up the bill type date.
Closest I have had to a guy buying me dinner is fast food and I can't ever remember anyone bar family and my best friends buying me movie tickets.
Not quite sure how I feel about that really, I've never looked back and considered the exact working of my relationships before.
Great now I feel like a cheap date =P
Never been on 'a date'. Never want to.
Yes, but you're incredibly good looking, and young.Quote:
Originally Posted by Raza
Thanks, but that shouldn't be such a big deal. I was never picked out as being particularly good looking before I started making a deliberate effort to bring it out through style. With guys especially, you just don't see what you've got until you make an effort and find what works best for you. I've seen people whith faces that looked bland or even somewhat misformed become hotties with the right makeup and hairstyle, and I've seen people I used to drool over abandon their efforts and fall back into complete unnoteworthiness.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bikerpunk
My relative youth may mean that instead of hordes of alto teens looking to make out with you, you may attract the more focused interest of a smaller audience. Either way, in alternative crowds, style is a major ticket to success with people that share your tastes. If you're cool, you don't necessarily need to be pretty, especially if you're male.
The last "date" I was on consisted of one of the girls I am currently seeing picking me up at my office for lunch, eating some Mexican food and going back to my place for some "Afternoon Delight"
you need to stop being so hard on yourself! You look cool.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bikerpunk
Be that as it may, I get absolutely no interest from women or from men.
Yeah, but, do you show interest to them?Quote:
Originally Posted by Bikerpunk
I've learned it's best if I don't.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ajax Knucklebones
personally nothing turns me off more from a person than self-satisfaction and over confidence. I find it depressing that confidence in and of itself is supposed to be the main bait-tool in the dating game according to the 'experts'. If someone thinks they know who they are and needs to show me......i've already lost interest.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bikerpunk
Basically if i digged tiddly-bits i'd probably scatter-pump you...
In English?Quote:
Basically if i digged tiddly-bits i'd probably scatter-pump you...
Quote:
Originally Posted by episode allah
Hah! I LOVE You!!! This is my fave post of the thread!!! If only I could say the same thing... Actually, the never want to part just about says it all for me....
You get the gold star, sound bite, the one that gets on TV...
its dirty and involves copious amounts of fluid....Quote:
Originally Posted by Bikerpunk
Like a cock machine gun loaded with cum bullets?Quote:
Originally Posted by episode allah
I think there's a big difference between confidence and over confidence. Confidence in dating I think means you don't worry so much about rejection. You have enough confidence in yourself, that if you ask some one out and they say "no", you don't beat up on your self. You move on....I think confident people know who they are but don't have to show it.Quote:
Originally Posted by episode allah
Over confidence means if someone says "No", for the life of you, you can't understand why and are puzzled by how stupid this person is who said no. "How can they say no to me....I'm fucking wonderful. That person is really fucked in the head. They have NO taste....Loser!". I think Over confident people THINK they know who they are, but are always trying to show it due to deep down insecurities...
Over confidence is just plain cocky.....And an ugly trait to have.
yup, and an ENORMOUS turn-off to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ajax Knucklebones
Quote:
Originally Posted by VoltaireBlue
I figure being a stripper, you probably see those types of guys in your business.....
I don't have confidence, and like y'all said, chicks can *smell* a front.
Saturday last:
* Took drugs & alcohol in the morning.
* Took nice girl out for lunch for her birthday. More alcohol.
* Girl gave afternoon drugs and alcohol leading to schmoozing.
* Promised to show up for her party that evening and left.
* Getting dark... took drugs by myself.
* Friends ringing wanting drugs or alcohol so I obliged and imbibed at their place.
* Actually showed up at nice girl's party by 11.30pm with friends in tow (had pre-arranged with hostess so no problem).
* D&A (this is getting repetitive) at party where I had to appear attractive and interesting so as to make nice hostess look good in front of her friends I do not know.
* Party over so off to drink at a bar or two with hostess & her gay friends plus any of mine who survived that far and then drinks at gay friend's pad.
* Sun coming up so back to nice hostesses place for such and such.
* A few snoozes... interspersed with personal fun and games. Got up and ate all the left-over party food (breakfast AND a show). Steered clear of alcohol - not greedy.
* Sunday afternoon... hostess wasn't imbibing but I greedily asked if I could partake of her stash. Answer: yes followed by schmoozing.
* I split and have fun at my mate's place... it's early monday morning by now ... oh right the date is over.
Let me finally say that emails have been exchanged since confirming and thanking for the nice dating that was had last weekend. Maybe there will be another... nice girl is out of town in Melbourne this weekend. i will not contact until next week or if I'm strong even later. If you love someone... set them free.
FixedQuote:
Originally Posted by helcyon
So so long as you're not 'secretly insecure deep down', no amount of confidence displayed will be 'overconfidence'?Quote:
Originally Posted by Ajax Knucklebones
I find that there's few things sillier than speculating about what behaviours are secretly inspired by insecurity. As critiques go it's typically unverifiable and completely generic, which means it's the perfect attack for when you want to express distaste someone's behaviour but really lack a point to bring to bear against it - a scenario that seems unflatteringly common in most of humanity.
Highly confident people never make a good first impression on me. It's too much work to get to know them because you have to try and pick up on their vulnerabilities and nuances to get a better picture of who they really are. I draw a distinction between ambition and confidence. I like ambitious people; people that want to get somewhere or be something, whereas confidence for me implies stagnation or ignorance. The thing i dislike about people with very high self esteem is that its necessarily bound to a strong sense of self and as someone with a very ambiguous sense of self I find communication violently intrusive.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ajax Knucklebones
In all honesty i'm way more attracted to self loathers than people who are happy with themselves. When I define myself I try to to it in opposition to things rather than by influences so with a partner i need someone who is also negatively charged. The only time my girlfriend and I hate each other is when we behave like one another.
You're right. Not ever person who is over-confident has insecurity problems. I do find the ones that CONSTANTLY talk about themselves, do though. It's almost like they're constantly trying to prove to themselves how wonderful they are. You know that if you're cool with yourself, you don't constantly tell people how wonderful you are. There's no reason to, unless you're trying to prove something. Either to them or yourself and those are the one's that I truly believe have insecurity problems.Quote:
Originally Posted by Raza
I think you're totally right about the difference between ambition and confidence. I don't find any amount of ambition to be a bad thing. That's your "drive". To me, that's definietly a strong trait in the whole "Survival of the fittest" category. Although, I think you have to have some sort of good confidence level in what you're being ambitous about. I think you can be a self loather and still be ambitious but that one thing you're focusing on, you have to believe that you're good at doing it. A perfect example is most self-deprecating comedians. I think they truly believe alot of self-deprecating things that say about themselves, but I also believe they are very confident in how much comedic talent they have.Quote:
Originally Posted by episode allah
I find extreme extroverted over-confidence coupled with a gaping maw of neediness totally hot.
Not really kidding.
Last night I went to see the Real McKenzies (punk rock with bagpipes-yeah!). :thumb: I went with a boy but I wouldn't consider it a 'real' date sice we met up with a bunch of people, but it was fucking awesome and they kicked my ass! I felt like I was 16 again. It was tons of fun, until I sprained my wrist. But the boy walked me home at took care of me..awwww. We'll see what happens next.
Awesome! That's how me and a female friend were at the X show. Was like being a kid. (It did kind of become a "date" I s'pose) More importantly, was just a great time.Quote:
Originally Posted by mystoo
OEC
PS: Do you like Johnny Hollow? They're local for you. I'll message some show dates up there. Great band.
Yeah..Johnny Hollow, they're good:thumb:
They look great! I love bagpipes!
So last night I had this really uncomfortable scary date... It was just like dating Christopher Walken (whom I love, but, well it wasn't). Just really hard to talk to this guy, I would say something and he would just stare blankly and talk about arm wrestling his Chinesse girlfriend and how his emloyee's boyfriend was stalking her...
So after dinner we walked a bit, to his weird store, which he unlocked and he kept wanting me to go into it... It was one of those odd storefront optical places that you have to unlock on the street, but I stayed as far away from him as I could, and did not go in... After that he said, "You didn't go into my store..."
I grabbed a cab home soon after, just had a creepy feeling from him....
Still dating other millionaire... He is nice, but no chemistry.
I think my ex, came over at 4:00 AM a couple of weeks ago, and rang my doorbell a few times. He was out there for at least ten minutes. I didn't answer, because I was too scared, but I think it was him.
I had to read this a few times before I got it, but yes I agree!!! I think that was my ex, in a nutshell, but he had to escape so that I would not see the neediness side of him... Too macho and tough to let me see that...Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia G