Do you think messaging services like ******* and icq and aim induce people to cheat more and be generally more dishonest in relationships than they would otherwise?
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Do you think messaging services like ******* and icq and aim induce people to cheat more and be generally more dishonest in relationships than they would otherwise?
you haft to wanan cheat to cheat. i think that they would aid in cheating but people arn't goign to cheat unless they want to. its like getting caught cheating and saying aim made me do it roflmao. ive used msger services to get ass myself. when i wanted it. it would give and opertuninty to one of less hearted to do so maybe sway them but in the end you would haft to too want to
If they were going to cheat, they would have done it eventually either way.
If I was in a relationship, where we cared about each other, Why would I want to cheat on the person?
I think it makes it easier. I have met people and cheated on my couple with them through MSN Messenger, so I'm talking out of experience here. But Brightstar is right; people who are cheaters will cheat, regardless of any technology aiding them or not.
... I guess.
Probably. I think it is weak for them to do so if they had agreed not to. I see nothing wrong with meeting people online, I have a few times myself. I would hate to think I would commit to a relationship knowing I would continue to go that route.Quote:
Originally Posted by AmeliaG
OEC
yeah you have to want to cheat to cheat....
Haha. Everyone does on occasion. Personally, I simply stopped havingQuote:
Originally Posted by CPRB
monogamous relationships.
OEC
I think it's fair to say that cheaters will cheat, but I do think that folks are presented with a lot more opportunity with the new services. You used to have to go out, risk being seen flirting, etc. Now, you just put a profile up on ******* or whatever and weed through the offers as they roll in. I can't see how the stats on cheating couldn't spike upwards.
I'm sure you're right. Just from the standpoint of the cheater, however, it seems incredibly weak for this to be the case.Quote:
Originally Posted by ForrestBlack
OEC
I think services such as ******* and so on have also raised the risk involved, not just for the cheaters, but for youngsters with no conception of how they should handle the web, and no idea of who could be on the other side.
But a cheat will cheat the same as a thief will thieve given the chance.
Even without profiles, etc. People will just pay other people to do stuff with them, or in the worst cases force them to.
I Still think its relative to the person in the case.
I am testing that theory now. I made a myjournal with just my cat as the picture. I also searched within 10 miles of my house and received 1000+ profiles. I'll have to admit this thing probably is dangerous to the public at large. Oh well;)Quote:
Originally Posted by BrightStar
OEC
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightingale
And the more chances they get, the more likely it will happen, so since the new services increase opportunity, they also increase the likelyhood.
yeah you have to already want to cheat to do it.
Either way, each person and case is different. :P
Studies have shown repeatedly that the actions of a person don't depend on some abstract "moral essence" connected to the person, and that's the argument I think I'm seeing here from a lot of people. The fact of the matter is that bad behavior does NOT pop up randomly. It depends greatly on social influences.
For example, close study of students shows that there are no "honest" or "dishonest" students. There are students with good learning environments conducive to work ethic and students with bad learning environments conducive to cheating, and that's it. The idea of some quality you carry around inherent to yourself is a myth - the closest thing that people get to that is that they create good or bad environments for themselves by reflex.
There's also some well-known research done at Stanford University 30 years ago that put normal people in the roles of prison guards in a mock prison setting - even people who previously identified themselves as pacifists degenerated into sadists very quickly.
So, as to whether or not IMing programs create cheating? That all depends on who your friends are and what you've been taught to value. The internet is the ultimate in normless environments - this causes many behaviors unique to the internet, like the degradation of language by people who know better. People who type and spell haphazardly online are often capable of perfect language in any other setting, but because it's the internet they see no reason to care. There was no norm for language online, so eventually the norm became typing however's fastest for you.
So that's the real ticket - noone's INHERENTLY a cheat, but given the ability to create whatever environment for themselves they want, they may end up making themselves into one. However, some people may not see the internet as being any different from real life - if they were cheats in real life, that will carry over, but if they're not, that will carry over too. If they DO see the internet as being a different type of environment with different rules, then that has implications also.
In any case, it's usually not that cheaters were going to cheat before it even became an issue, but instead that they get themselves started on that road for lack of any clear path. It's an application of that "vicious cycle" idea the self-help books are always on about.
Most of human behavior occurs in this manner. Deviancy from social norms is an example of an exception, as deviancy typically occurs when people arrive at social problems for which they are provided no satisfactory answers.
The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell goes into this - I'd recommended it for anyone interested.
Hm, all that text and I just made corrections on other peoples' statements without answering the question... I didn't even realize I went on for that long. ^_^;
Anyway, my answer is this: they don't induce people to cheat more, necessarily, but the bottom line is that it's up in the air until we figure out what the internet really means to society as a whole.
Most people would agree that the internet is just an extension of peoples' regular lives, but some say that the internet is a wild frontier with its own rules. They both have valid viewpoints, but one of the two sides will probably win-out in the end.
I also agree with the point that the availability of means to cheat is a huge factor in it, but if the individual is someone who considers the internet nothing more than a very elaborate tool, then that availability won't be a factor as much as the person's everyday-life environment. So, if that view prevails, then cheating will be much less common.
If the alternative view wins, then who knows? It all depends on the values and norms that get associated with the new internet forum. People will most likely come up with a few ways to try to determine who's cheating and who isn't when it comes to online connections if it comes to that, so I still wouldn't say it would be much more likely.
i personally think it is a stupid way to become emmotionally involved with a person, and i think if youre a cheater you are going to be a cheater no matter what....but yes it does leave some more oppurtunities to cheat. my boyfriend had cheated on me, and i decided to pretend to be some slut online and i had a whole conversation with him the ultimately decided we (me as the slut girl he didnt know) were going to meet up at a party and he was going to come to my house and do "naughty things." that night he called me (his girlfriend at the time) and told me he wasnt feeling well and didn't want to go to the party we had planned to go to. the stupid bastard had the intention of going to the party to hook up with some slut. so eww to instant messaging cheaters!
never been cheated on like that but i can see how it can happen because (i believe i mentioned this somewhere before) a girl i was dating dumped me for some guy she met in a chatroom last i heard they where engaged without ever have even met and they live like 900 miles away from each other isnt wonderful what the internet makes possible theese days
im sorry. that reminds me of my great grandma. a few weeks ago she asked me "wheres your boyfriend?" (who i broke up with like 5 months ago)...and i told her we're not together and she told me, "Why don't you meet someone on the internet, that's what your aunt lisa does." Keep in mind that my great grandma is in her 80s and my aunt lisa is mentally retarded.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kidthorazine
hi everyone! 20/f/OK here... anybody want to randomly get together and screw?
that was a joke...