Damn The Bitches!!!

A few weeks back I posted something about my new doggies, and how happy I was to get them and how they would whine when I try and close the door to have sex.......

I am still happy and still love the doggies, but let me tell you, they take A LOT of work.

Selene, the larger of the two, ate my red couch yesterday. Yes, she gnawed right through the pillow and also the boning in quite a few spots. I was LIVID! I spent my drive to work sobbing, as I have wanted a red velvet couch for nearly 10 years, since I first became a little goth girl......... now it has been consumed, and my dog keeps vomiting up the stuffing.

BLAH!!!

That sucks, but maybe sometime later on you can look back on it and see it as kind of cute, in it's funny sort of way. I mean, I super understand being pissed too, but I'm sure you know doggies just do that sort of thing. My pets seem to hate holidays. My cat killed my Easter bunny on Easter morning. My mom and I went out for the weekend over Christmas and my cats DESTROYED my Christmas tree, tree down and shredded, seriously broken ornament glass in every room of our little apartment, but I've never had my furniture eaten the way you just had. You have all my sympathy on that.

Puppy-proofing a house is way more complex than baby-proofing it, and the only place I've seen that got it right was Riker's Island. You need to remember that a puppy is very similar to a drunk man in bed with a woman....

"Can I eat this?... dunno.. let's try...."

"Can I hump this?... dunno.. let's try..."

"Screw it.. I'm having a nap."