True to life Astrology guide

Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) You have an inventive
mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a
great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly
because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a
fucking jerk.

Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) You are a pioneer type
and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to
reprimand, impatient and full of advice. You do
nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact
with. You are a prick.

Aries (Mar 23 - April 22) You have a wild
imagination and often think you are being followed
by the FBI or CIA. You have major influence on your
friends and people resent you for flaunting your
power. You lack confidence & are a whiny bitch.

Taurus (April 23 - May 22) You are practical and
persistent. You have a dogged determination and work
like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and
bullheaded. You are nothing but a fucking communist.

Gemini (May 23 - June 22) You are a quick and
intelligent thinker. People like you because you are
bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too
little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Gemini's
are notorious for thriving on incest.

Cancer (June 23 - July 22) You are sympathetic
and understanding to other people's problems, which
makes you a sucker. You are always putting things
off. That is why you will always be on welfare and
won't be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a
Cancer.

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) You consider yourself a
born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leo's
are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate
criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people
are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation
more than sex.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) You are a logical type
and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is
sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are
cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while
fucking. Virgo's make good bus drivers and pimps.

Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) You are the artistic
type and have a difficult time dealing with
reality. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil.
Most Libra women are whores. All Libra's die of
venereal disease.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) You are the worst of
the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be
trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success
because of your total lack of ethics. You are the
perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.

Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) You are optimistic
and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to
rely on your luck since you have no talent. The
majority of Sagittarian's are drunks. You are a
worthless piece of shit.

Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22) You are conservative
and afraid of taking risks. You are basically
chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any
importance. You should kill yourself.

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) You consider yourself a
born leader; True...
Others think you are an idiot; Again, true....
Most Leo's are bullies; I have to strongly disagree.
You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism; Not true in this case.
Your arrogance is disgusting ; I have my days.
Leo people are thieving motherfuckers; Never.
and enjoy masturbation more than sex; hardly.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) You are the worst of
the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be
trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success
because of your total lack of ethics. You are the
perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.

his thing sure as hell has me figured out muahahahahahahahahahah

Hahahahhaha....looks like I'm a prick.

nd whaatsd wrungh wiht beign druunk?//

keepsa pain wway..>

Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) You are optimistic
and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to
rely on your luck since you have no talent. The
majority of Sagittarian's are drunks. You are a
worthless piece of shit.

haha

OEC

i was born a gemini/scorpio, though i never functioned as either. some of my good friends are born under either of the two constellations, but i tend to loathe a lot of other people born under the two signes.

i have too much of a cancer in me, i guess -

I'm a leo. O_o But....

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) You consider yourself a
born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leo's
are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate
criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people
are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation
more than sex.

I have seen this before. pretty funny. :1orglaugh
Just because we masturbate every second were not having sex doesnt mean we like it better than sex. :D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by devil13

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) You consider yourself a
born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leo's
are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate
criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people
are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation
more than sex.

I have seen this before. pretty funny. :1orglaugh
Just because we masturbate every second were not having sex doesnt mean we like it better than sex. :D

---

That's what I was thinking. :(

Quote:

---

Cancer (June 23 - July 22) You are sympathetic
and understanding to other people's problems, which
makes you a sucker. You are always putting things
off. That is why you will always be on welfare and
won't be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a
Cancer.

---

That's me.. all the way :D hahaha

fuck that is good

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) You consider yourself a
born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leo's
are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate
criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people
are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation
more than sex.

You make it sound like it's a bad thing. :1orglaugh

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chaotika

Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) You are a pioneer type
and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to
reprimand, impatient and full of advice. You do
nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact
with. You are a prick.

---

Y'know, this astrology list would've been better if...

:twak:

We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.

The credits have been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Umbilical Lotus

nd whaatsd wrungh wiht beign druunk?//

keepsa pain wway..>

---

keeps your pain away.

scorpio ...... and i thought we were simply sexual creatures.
be to be murdered .... gulp!!!!
;-)