Would you continue a relationship with someone who has an untreatable STD?

[Thistle Harlequin]

I'm really curious about others opinions, because I don't think I would.

I'm curious because my co-worker just got Hepatitis from stabbing himself accidentally with a dirty needle used for heroin injection, while picking up trash and throwing it in the dumpster (we're re-modeling)..it could have totally been anyone of us, including his 15 year old son. But anyways, it's been two weeks later and his tests results are back and it shows that he recently contracted Hepatitis! So now he can't have unprotected sex with his wife and has to be careful with sharing food and stuff with his five kids!!!! That sucks, like totally!!

Would you date someone if they were HIV+ even after they told you about it? It's rude to NOT tell someone you're dating that you have something, but it's also rude that someone you tell dumps you because of it, right?

[Bikerpunk]

I dunno.... HIV is difficult to transmit and with condom usage and viral load monitoring chance of transmission is pretty much near zero.

Hep C is only transmitted blood to blood, An issue with a girl (they bleed)

[thegreatBJ]

it would depend on the seriousness of the relationship, you'd have to think seriously if you wanted to have children with this person if you don't already, because I'd happily have protected sex with someone with an STI so long as they were honest with me (and it wasn't oozing or anything) but I wouldn't have unprotected and so I couldn't have children with them... therefore, a quick, fun fling would be fine.. but anything more serious wouldn't be

[Amelia G]

If I were already in a committed relationship with someone, I would never consider leaving them for any illness, STD or otherwise. Unless maybe they caught the STD doing something that was a violation of the relationship, but picking up trash does not count as a violation of any relationship I ever heard of.

I think one could still do artificial insemination with a partner who had a social disease, probably depending on the disease.

[One Eyed Cat]

Well: One can continue being close to someone without a sexual relationship.

[Joel Awesome]

I wouldn't be able to deal with it. I'm not comfortable risking my lifetime health for something that might be a temporary relationship. I also live a lifestyle that I'm not willing to change where walking bio hazards aren't welcome. This is probably my biggest asshole feature and I'm aware of it.

[DoctorZ]

I don't think so.

[mystoo]

I have someting to day hre.BUT..i've been drinking so i will get back later.

[Syrran]

If I were in a very serious long term relationship and they contracted I would stay otherwise I don't think I would be able to not with a life threatening STD. The more serious the STD the more serious the relationship would have to have been. That being said for me to be THAT trusting and serious with a person is highly unlikely especially at this time in my life.

[Morning Glory]

sure. why not? it doesn't effect their personality.

like OEC said, there's more to life than sex.
how would you feel about someone that was paralyzed from the waist down?

yes, a different scenario, but the point is that it would make sex difficult or almost impossible.

Obviously that's not the only issue, but my point is that it's not the biggest issue.

Really the biggest issue would be if they faced a life threatening possibility as a result. that could be hard knowing that you could lose them.

but that's also a stupid reason not to be in a relationship.

I don't know, no hard feelings toward anyone here, I respect where you are coming from. But it just seems like people can find a ton of reasons why they shouldn't be in a relationship and I find that silly. If you like someone or not should be the only factor.

people put some much emphasis on never being able to express what they think or feel because people scrutinize it so much, and that is shitty and pointless.

people should be friends and lovers and that's all there is to it, or should matter.

I would date almost anyone, and be friends with pretty much everyone. what do you have to lose by taking a chance to see if you are compatible and will have a good time together?

that's just how I feel. a bit of a rant there.

[Syrran]

sure. why not? it doesn't effect their personality.

like OEC said, there's more to life than sex.
how would you feel about someone that was paralyzed from the waist down?

yes, a different scenario, but the point is that it would make sex difficult or almost impossible.

Obviously that's not the only issue, but my point is that it's not the biggest issue.

Really the biggest issue would be if they faced a life threatening possibility as a result. that could be hard knowing that you could lose them.

but that's also a stupid reason not to be in a relationship.

I don't know, no hard feelings toward anyone here, I respect where you are coming from. But it just seems like people can find a ton of reasons why they shouldn't be in a relationship and I find that silly. If you like someone or not should be the only factor.

people put some much emphasis on never being able to express what they think or feel because people scrutinize it so much, and that is shitty and pointless.

people should be friends and lovers and that's all there is to it, or should matter.

I would date almost anyone, and be friends with pretty much everyone. what do you have to lose by taking a chance to see if you are compatible and will have a good time together?

that's just how I feel. a bit of a rant there.

I think the point allot of us are trying to make is it isn't worth it if you don't actually love the person. All of us have dated people that we don't see oursevles being with for the rest of our lives. I'm not saying I wouldn't be friends with them and yes I could still end up becoming close and loving them but I'm not going to say that it wouldn't be different getting to know them with rather than without.

[Joel Awesome]

I don't know, no hard feelings toward anyone here, I respect where you are coming from. But it just seems like people can find a ton of reasons why they shouldn't be in a relationship and I find that silly. If you like someone or not should be the only factor.

.

Sex is a pretty big factor in how much I like my S.O. and how much I like a good number of my friends.
She wore a nurse outfit last night so I like her a lot today.
Then again I'm probably one of the harshest people on here about what they are and aren't willing to put up with.

[Lilly]

I honestly don't know if I could have a serious relationship with anyone who had a disease as serious as HIV.

I work in the health industry. A disease like that would not take away not only my health but depending on the disease my job.

That aside there are other considerations for some of these diseases other then sex, some of these diseases require a complete life style change. Call me selfish but I'm just starting to be comfortable with who I am now and I don't have any desire to change my life (which includes activities, social behaviour, diet etc etc etc) for another person, nor can I imagine myself in a relationship with someone who would expect that of me.

Looking at it from the other perspective what would you expect from your SO if it was you that contracted the disease in a situation put forward in the OP? Personally I wouldn't hold it against them if they decided to end things because of it.

[mystoo]

I did. For 8 years. I think it depends on alot of things. If you are really truly in love with someone and see a future together then why not? Life throws curvballs and you have to adjust. My ex and I were together since high school, we took a little break from eachother (5 years), during which time he contracted a nasty little virus (nothing as serious as HIV, but still..). Of course, we could never have sex without condoms which kind of sucked and would have made it difficult to have a child but..whatcha gonna do?
I'm not sure now if I met someone with an STD if I would carry on with a relationship. Probably not but I really couldn't say for sure because I'm not in that situation.

[Morning Glory]

That's cool, Joel. Do what you gotta do.

I'm not saying that this is exactly on the same level as some things that people have relationship hangs up about. Obviously this is a big deal, and it requires a lot of thought (that's why it was a good topic for discussion. way to go, Thistle!)

But just that people have a lot of relationship hang-ups in general, and that made me think of it, and go off on a rant.

I have a tendency to do that, it's free-association. ::shrugs::

I suppose that I have some pretty unconventional views. You say that you don't put up with a lot of things... I guess I put up with, not ALOT of things (there are many things I don't put up with too), but DIFFERENT things.

[Amelia G]

Sex is a pretty big factor in how much I like my S.O. and how much I like a good number of my friends.
She wore a nurse outfit last night so I like her a lot today.
Then again I'm probably one of the harshest people on here about what they are and aren't willing to put up with.

Pic please.

[mystoo]

I honestly don't know if I could have a serious relationship with anyone who had a disease as serious as HIV.

I work in the health industry. A disease like that would not take away not only my health but depending on the disease my job.

That aside there are other considerations for some of these diseases other then sex, some of these diseases require a complete life style change. Call me selfish but I'm just starting to be comfortable with who I am now and I don't have any desire to change my life (which includes activities, social behaviour, diet etc etc etc) for another person, nor can I imagine myself in a relationship with someone who would expect that of me.

Looking at it from the other perspective what would you expect from your SO if it was you that contracted the disease in a situation put forward in the OP? Personally I wouldn't hold it against them if they decided to end things because of it.

Lilly, I don't think that is selfish at all. You only have one life right, so why not do what you want/need to do to make YOURSELF happy? Why should you or anyone change who you are for someone else?

[OrganizedKhaos]

STD's freak me out.

I'm glad that there has been a lot of medical advancements in the area of Hep C. treatment.

Its true, it is blood to blood.

HOWEVER, its easily transmitted thru using the same straw while snorting a drug...
even if NO blood is visible on the straw. Coke users pass it all the time this way, as the coke causes lesions and microscopic traces of blood.

(or those who share pills by snorting... its not as easily passed as coke though due to the nature of the drug and how it effects the nasal lining)

My mom is a nurse, and I did EXTENSIVE studying when I found out that some ppl we knew had it... and I wasnt about to take the risk of accidentally catching it.

I have to agree with Amelia's first post in this thread.
I'd never leave my husband.... would I get with someone who MAY have something? oh hell no.

I've dodged that bullet so far in life, and have NO INTENTION of catching it.

I think its ... murder if someone KNOWINGLY has something, and doesnt tell their partner....

I think it can be viewed as rude to break up with someone if they have something, just as it can be viewed as rude for someone to break up over their partner snoring too loudly.

Its really about personal taste and discretion.

[OrganizedKhaos]

Sex is a pretty big factor in how much I like my S.O. and how much I like a good number of my friends.
She wore a nurse outfit last night so I like her a lot today.
Then again I'm probably one of the harshest people on here about what they are and aren't willing to put up with.

Sex is a big factor in our relationship as well...

I think I'd DIE if I had to live without it for the rest of my life. I honestly dont see that as an option.


Honesty is a good thing, and its better to be delivered harsh, than not at all.

[Morning Glory]

HOWEVER, its easily transmitted thru using the same straw while snorting a drug...

define "easily"? Of course the risk is there and I often argue against taking such needless risks... but what I'm getting at is I think more likely that so many people do it without thinking, the widespread practice, that causes the results, moreso than the actual probability of transmission from the practice itself.

I don't feel comfortable throwing around a ballpark figure because I don't know, but let's say that the odds are * in 100, and you have 10,000 people doing it. yeah, you are going to see a lot of transmitions, just by the sheer number in volume, but not necessarily per capita.

Does that make sense?

I'm not trying to refute you here, just pointing out that a lot of people really DON'T KNOW and there is a real lack of general education on the subject. Also coupled with the age old mantra "it's not going to happen to me."

[toxicat]

[QUOTE=Morning Glory]sure. why not? it doesn't effect their personality.
Exaaaactly!

[Janiac02]

I think I would have the hardest time being with a person who has genital herpes, because condoms really don't do much to prevent transmittal. I'd give anyone a chance who I really wanted to be with, I'd just have to do research so I can feel informed about how to prevent infection for myself, and know what the disease meant for my partner. It would be worth it, for someone I had a great connection with.

[Bikerpunk]

I think I would have the hardest time being with a person who has genital herpes, because condoms really don't do much to prevent transmittal. I'd give anyone a chance who I really wanted to be with, I'd just have to do research so I can feel informed about how to prevent infection for myself, and know what the disease meant for my partner. It would be worth it, for someone I had a great connection with.

I don't have herpes, but most people over 30 "have" it, in the sense that they have been exposed to the virus and have antibodies, or have had no symptoms or symptoms so mild that they've gone unnoticed.

[OrganizedKhaos]

BP, when you mention herpes, are you including fever blisters?
OR just the other kind?

[Bikerpunk]

I'm referring to genital herpes. Recent testing (now that we have tests for it) indicate that about 40% of the population, maybe 50%, are infected with it, but most have an incredibly mild version of it that never has symptoms, or they have something they dismiss as something else and never see any again.

[Janiac02]

I don't have herpes, but most people over 30 "have" it, in the sense that they have been exposed to the virus and have antibodies, or have had no symptoms or symptoms so mild that they've gone unnoticed.

That's true, but you can also be exposed to things like TB and develop the antibodies for immunity. Kinda works the same as with the hepatitis B series injections. I know that you can carry pretty much any STD and be asymptomatic, for a time, at least, but there is a difference between sleeping with someone who has full blown outbreaks, and someone who has been exposed, but has only a low level present. I wouldn't automatically judge someone because I find out they have some type of disease though. Hardly fair.

[Bikerpunk]

I wouldn't "judge" anyone for having any kind of illness.

It's an ILLNESS.

And I would like to think that if I was someone's partner, and I got stuck with a syringe, that person wouldn't walk out on me. I would not walk out on them either.

[VoltaireBlue]

If I were already in a committed relationship with someone, I would never consider leaving them for any illness, STD or otherwise. Unless maybe they caught the STD doing something that was a violation of the relationship, but picking up trash does not count as a violation of any relationship I ever heard of.

that's where I stand on this issue.