+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: Things A Pagen wont say.

  1. #1
    Dusk's Avatar Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    759

    Default Things A Pagen wont say.

    Things you'll Never hear a pagan(s) say:


    Alexandrian Wicca:
    Yes, we admit it - we nicked everything from the Gardnerians.

    Arthurian Enthusiasts:
    Guinevere was really a Pictish warrior princess!
    I think 'The Sword in the Stone' is a really great film.

    Astrologer:
    But your Sun sign is the most important sign!
    Sorry I'm late - it was a traffic jam and not anything planetary at all.
    I'm a big fan of astronomy.
    We're about to enter the Age of Aquarius. Meh.

    Celtic Faerie Shaman:
    I'd better read up on that before I write a book about it...
    I read the Tain bo Cuailgne in its original language.

    Celtic Tradition:
    Of course, we don't actually know anything about the historical Celts.
    I hate Celtic knotwork.
    Bloody bog trotters and sheep shaggers!
    I find Cerridwen to be a very nice Goddess, don't you?

    Chaos Magician:
    No, no, no! You're doing it all wrong!
    I think H.P. Lovecraft books are unimaginative.

    Crowley:
    This table of correspondences is too complicated...
    I think it's about time I settled down with a family and started going to church...
    I like my Mother.
    I used to think I knew my stuff, but now I've read Silver Ravenwolf I'm willing to step down.
    I couldn't fit this into Kabbalah!

    Dianic:
    Shall we have an open ritual for all the men?
    Face it - menstruation is just a bloody nuisance.
    The earliest cultures were patriarchal and peaceful.
    Sorry, I can't come to the ritual tonight - my husband's ill.

    Discordians:
    Hang on, that doesn't make any sense!
    Nope, too weird for me.
    Eris is just a minor Goddess - we can ignore her.
    No, no, no, no, no! First you cast the circle, then you fill the bathtub with brightly coloured East German power tools, only after all that do you give your offerings to Eris! Keep to the structure people!

    Druidry:
    I agree with Time Team's action at Seahenge.
    No cider for me, thanks.
    Oh I couldn't possibly sing that! I'm too embarrassed!
    I think English Heritage is doing a great job.

    Eclectic Pagan:
    You must remain true to each culture's specific traditions and practices!
    That has no value to my spiritual path whatsoever.
    My way is the only true way to God!
    Attributing that meaning to that deity ignores the wider context.

    Eco-Pagan:
    Let's go to MacDonald's!
    That tree's got bad energy - cut it down!
    Recycling is for pussies with a guilty conscience.
    Actually, I think GM is an interesting approach to...
    I just love what George Bush is doing with his Presidency.
    Protesting? Nah, it's just a waste of time.
    I've never been on an anti-capitalist demonstration.
    I bought shares in Esso/Nestlé/Microsoft/MacDonalds.

    Fam. trad:
    Yes, Ron Hutton - nice guy, excellent research.
    Fiona Horne:
    No way, that's too gimmicky!

    Fluffy bunny:
    I read this in a book and just had to validate it by cross-referencing it against this academic journal...
    I never do anything unless it's got empirical proof.
    I don't believe that.

    Gardnerians:
    Y'know, I think Aleister Crowley was a very enlightened individual...

    Alicen Geddes-Ward:
    No, YOU can't be a Faerie Priestess.

    Gerald Gardner:
    Actually, we'll skip the scourging for this ritual...
    For Gods' sakes, put your clothes back on!
    Nah, I made it all up.

    Golden Dawn:
    Right, let's make this ritual short and simple.
    Hedgewitch/Solitary:
    I think you can only be a real witch if you're initiated into a coven.
    No, online Pagan forums hold no charm for me.
    King Arthur Pendragon:
    For goodness sake, we can drink later - keep your minds on the ritual!

    New Agers:
    I've got too many crystals.
    Some of my best friends are Satanists.
    You want me to heal you with that??!!
    Hello, I'm a New Ager.
    Yes, I was initiated into Gardner's original coven in 1972. Eventually got my Third Degree y'know.
    All this Native American stuff is just a fad.
    I think Glastonbury's crap.
    No, one of my past lives was not in Atlantis.
    I was no-one special in a past life.
    I think the British Empire was a really good idea...
    Call me fluffy, and I'll BLOODY KILL YOU!!!

    Northern Heathens/Asatru:
    I'm teetotal.
    I quite like the idea of the Christian heaven.
    I'm a huge Wagner fan.
    Ralph Blum is my hero!
    Runes? Ah, I could take 'em or leave 'em.
    Freyja is not my ideal woman.
    Ronald Hutton:
    It's an unbroken tradition you say? Okay, I'll take your word for it.

    Satanists: ( Twisted Evil my personal favorite Twisted Evil )
    Hekas, hekas, este Babloi!
    An' it harm none, do what ye will.
    I believe in the Law of Threefold Return.
    I hate egoists.
    Can I help you?
    I have immense respect for the Pope.
    Let's recite this Latin invocation forwards!

    Shamans:
    Kids, just say no.

    Silver Ravenwolf:
    Let's keep a sense of proportion and dignity in our magic.

    Starhawk:
    Yes it's true. I do suffer from penis envy.

    Tarot-holic:
    Y'know, I think I've got too many Tarot decks...
    No, that's only got a very tenuous link to the Tarot...
    That card means you're going to die!
    The King of Wands is really not my type.
    I don't think we can make a deck with that theme...

    Thelemites:
    I'm trying to bring out my Inner Child.
    Of course, the Book of the Law is a badly written fake...
    I don't think much of Goth or Industrial music, but how about that Cliff Richard?
    I enjoy wearing bright colours...
    I only wear black because it's slimming.
    I think Arthur Edward Waite was on the right track...
    Actually, I think Christianity is a really nice religion.
    Maybe Crowley did do too many drugs.
    You're eclectic are you? Cool!
    Here, eat these cookies - I've empowered them with love and light.

    Wanna-blessed-be's:
    Right, the first book I'm going to read is Triumph of the Moon...
    No, I don't think you're patronizing me or oppressing me at all!
    And finally, one's we're all guilty of (or not, as the case may be)...
    Nah, let's not go down the pub tonight - isn't there anywhere else we can have a moot?
    Isn't it great that we all agree?
    Let's call our social events 'meetings'!
    Everybody here on time? Yes? Good.
    I agree with George Bush's policies...
    Monotheism is clearly a superior concept.
    Beltane celebration? Nah, I'll stay at home thanks.
    I don't see what's so great about Stonehenge...
    Tabloid journalists get their facts straight about Pagans...
    There should be a Pagan evangelical movement.
    You know all those recent cattle and horse mutilation crimes? That was us.
    I don't mind people taking the piss out of my spiritual path in a university society magazine ...

  2. The following people thank you for your post:

    The Following User Says Thank You to Dusk For This Useful Post:

    VoltaireBlue (05-01-2010)
  3. #2
    DoctorZ's Avatar Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    The depths of hell. And I LIKE it.
    Posts
    492

    Default Re: Things A Pagen wont say.

    Hehehe, that was funny.

    Where'd ja get em from?

  4. #3
    Kidthorazine's Avatar hippiepotsmoker
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Louisville, KY
    Posts
    1,979

    Default Re: Things A Pagen wont say.

    actually I know Alexandrians and Gardnerians who say both of the things listed there, I'm one of them too.

    But yeah some of those where pretty damn funny.

  5. #4
    Bedlamite
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Places.
    Posts
    1,044

    Default Re: Things A Pagen wont say.

    That is funny! I'd like to steal it for reposting, may I?

  6. #5
    Bikerpunk's Avatar Ill-intentioned bad apple
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    3,778

    Default Re: Things A Pagen wont say.

    Creepy old dudes:

    "Yeah, I'm not really here to try to bang impressionable 18-21 year olds. I feel more comfortable hitting on women my own age, with their wonderful matronly figures and their fellow experience with actually having been there in the 60s."

  7. #6
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Westminster, MD
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: Things A Pagen wont say.

    This really made my day!

  8. #7
    Dusk's Avatar Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    759

    Default Re: Things A Pagen wont say.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wickedanima
    That is funny! I'd like to steal it for reposting, may I?
    sure you can i got it from the deathstars forum

  9. #8
    Bedlamite
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Places.
    Posts
    1,044

    Default Re: Things A Pagen wont say.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dusk
    sure you can i got it from the deathstars forum
    Ty!

  10. #9
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Formally a uterus, currently a little burg
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: Things A Pagen wont say.

    [B]ROTF/LMFAO!!!!! *snot & tears*

  11. #10
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Formally a uterus, currently a little burg
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: Things A Pagen wont say.

    *snicker*
    Last edited by Yaphat Mi; 05-01-2010 at 10:00 AM. Reason: ment to use caps

  12. #11
    VoltaireBlue's Avatar just is
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    the planet zorg.
    Posts
    2,205

    Default Re: Things A Pagen wont say.

    ROFL! I've seen this before; its hilarious!

  13. #12
    keiko's Avatar baker of geekery
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Potland,OR
    Posts
    3,617

    Default Re: Things A Pagen wont say.

    "Jesus Christ!"

    "God Bless it!"

    ~K

  14. #13

    Default Re: Things A Pagen wont say.

    Roflmao

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Are you sure I wont get persecuted this time...
    By Creepy Cris in forum Promotional Announcements
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 10-08-2007, 05:39 PM
  2. Replies: 4
    Last Post: 08-09-2007, 10:51 AM
  3. CD Drawer Wont Open
    By MistressJennifer in forum Blue Blood Boards
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 11-30-2004, 11:54 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Blue Blood
Trappings | Personalities | Galleries | Entertainment | Art | Books | Music | Popcorn | Sex | Happenings | Oddities | Trade/Business | Manifesto | Media | Community
Blue Blood | Contact Us | Advertise | Submissions | About Blue Blood | Links | $Webmasters$
Interested in being a Blue Blood model, writer, illustrator, or photographer? Get in touch