My anxiety has no end :(

[dogitgod]

I have always battled with anxiety around business meetings - with new contacts especially. My anxious feelings generally surface the night before an important meeting and worsen as it gets nearer to the time.
I generally feel very on edge, lacking in confidence and unsure of myself or how I come across.

[VoldtaEngler]

It must be bot month. YARRR

[Mindgames]

Holy crap, it's Marvin.

[Bikerpunk]

If you can ease the tension of other people at the meetings, your own nervousness will decrease.

An old trick is to imagine the people you're speaking to as being naked. You're putting THEM at THEIR ease to help you, so you need to make sure they see you as being naked.

Given that business people have no imagination, you'll have to actually BE naked.

[SyntheticShock]

Dog it god?

[Ajax Knucklebones]

I have the same anxiety disorder...Although I will admit I diagnosed myself..."Social Anxiety Disorder". It comes in many flavors and colors, but one of the typical characteristics is being anxietous when it comes to dealing with higher ups or dealing with a meeting with a new contact where a presumed "big" deal could come through. It's very common, btw. I spoke to my dad one time, years ago, about this (he got a BA and a masters in Psychology) and he basically asked me, "So what do you fear about these meetings?" I was honest and I told him, "I'm afraid I would be found out." He knew exactly what I meant. Basically that I felt I lacked confidence. I thought I didn't "belong" when it came to these meetings. Like these people were better than me and I just didn't have the actual "talent" to pull it all off. He then told me, "Don't you think EVERYBODY feels the same way you do about these meetings?"

The truth is when it comes to business, it's very hard to measure what's true talent and what is just "being fucking lucky". Most business guys really are just lucky. They somehow happened to hit upon the "right" tactic, usually by accident, how to sew up the deal. Yes, alot of it is by experience, but when experience hasn't happened yet, alot of it is by dumb luck.

It's that old addage, "We all put on our pants one leg at a time." It's true. Who's to say that because a person has done better in business than most, they are so much better than me. Lots of times, it actually happens by dumb luck.

What I took out of this discussion with my dad is to be yourself. No business guy likes a faker. I also took with me that if a meeting didn't wind up with a perfect ending... hardly any of them do. It's not the end of the world. Life goes on.

I think the best thing you can do, if possible, is to sit on in when another person in your business has a meeting to see "how they do it". When I felt the most anxietous was when I had no idea what the perfect equation to getting the deal done, should be. See how others do it. See if you can pick up pointers. Also see how alot of times, they also fail...Although, sure as shit, they'll tell the boss how it's all good and they'll try to get the business to take another meeting with them in the future. Smoke and mirrors. If you can't sit on another's meeting, well then be yourself. Chances are you didn't get where you are now by having a shitty personality.

Also....Remember to sell the benefits...not the features to the clients. The best thing I've figured out is, if they "buy" this "product", they do so because of what is in it for them. In the end....That's what sells. Figure out how they will prosper by what you are "selling".

But, of course, the biggest thing to remember, we are all human. All of us. Shoot two bullets behind the ear and we all die....No matter how wonderfully rich, famous, good looking or other. Unless someone can bounce off the bullets like Superman, then we're all born out of the same type of vagina and hence all equal.

Most of the people that I've met who can get deals done believe this. It's not that they are so overly-confident. They just see everybody under the same umbrella. So, instead of them selling a product...In the end, all they are doing is selling themselves.

[Ajax Knucklebones]

It must be bot month. YARRR

So......What you're saying is I just wasted all my time on fucking spam? Jesus! I swear, this is national sucker month for me.....

[VoldtaEngler]

So......What you're saying is I just wasted all my time on fucking spam? Jesus! I swear, this is national sucker month for me.....

It's ok...you'll catch on to who's really new and who's automated.

Automated threads usually have no real content, broken engrish, no profile, 1 post, and never paragraph themselves.

Not saying all bots do it..but if it was a person writing it then they would at least have replied by now :^)

[Mindgames]

..but if it was a person writing it then they would at least have replied by now :^)

.. or he got called into a meeting and shot himself.

[Ajax Knucklebones]

.. or he got called into a meeting and shot himself.

Hahaha!

[Vix]

I am on paroxetine, it appears to work..