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Thread: The stairs are evil, stomp at your own risk

  1. #1
    keiko's Avatar baker of geekery
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    Default The stairs are evil, stomp at your own risk

    the evil basement staircase tried to cripple me this afternoon. i was climbing back up the stairs, well putting my left foot on the bottom step and kinda ... missed, so with my upward and forward momentum i fell up getting both knees and my right wrist to make contact with the metal edge of the step. it was such an intense and unexpected pain, i thought my legs were going to fall off.

    anyone else have an evil architectural feature in their home? corners that move or door knobs that grab at you? any one ever been injured by these possessed things?

    ~K

  2. #2
    VoltaireBlue's Avatar just is
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    Default Re: The stairs are evil, stomp at your own risk

    I've caught my hip on doorknobs. it thouroghly sucks.

  3. #3
    Ajax Knucklebones's Avatar God fearing atheist
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    Default Re: The stairs are evil, stomp at your own risk

    I've played chess with my coffee table. Does that count?

  4. #4
    VoltaireBlue's Avatar just is
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    Default Re: The stairs are evil, stomp at your own risk

    I also have mysterious bruises I just can't explain and they are not from work.

  5. #5
    Mindgames's Avatar A guy who makes girls
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    Default Re: The stairs are evil, stomp at your own risk

    Quote Originally Posted by VoltaireBlue
    I also have mysterious bruises I just can't explain and they are not from work.
    When you're sleeping, we break in and take comedy photos. Occasionally, what with the posing on the inflatable giraffe and the hauling you in and out of the gimp suit, there may be some inadvertent scuffing. You really need to get a bigger house, or sleep nearer the door.

  6. #6
    Clockwork Jello's Avatar Droog
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    Default Re: The stairs are evil, stomp at your own risk

    Quote Originally Posted by VoltaireBlue
    I also have mysterious bruises I just can't explain and they are not from work.

    Oh wow, I used to get mysterious bruises alot when I was really young. I dont know how many times I was brought in to counselor's offices and start getting questioned on if my parents hit me or things along those lines.

    As for evil furniture. Yes I had quite a few growing up. The main one was a Coffee table that sat really low and had really sharp edges and I must have cut my legs on that damned thing on a weekly basis for years. I also had a piece of Coral next to the wall before you entered the entry way to the back door. I lost count of how many times I would be walking around the house after just waking up and stub my toes on it.

  7. #7
    keiko's Avatar baker of geekery
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    Default Re: The stairs are evil, stomp at your own risk

    *nods at the coral story*

    In my mother's house, and its still there the evil thing, is a little cast iron dog door stop. i must have broken my toes on that damned dog at least as many times as she did. same for the chunk on petrified wood... also used as a door stop. i hate door stops.


    mysterious bruises are part of my life. i've learned to live with them. even when i'm not working and just sorta bumming around i'll get out of hte shower and discover sometimes two or three bruises that weren't there when i went to bed last night. all i can figure is I sleep walk and I'm not very good at it.

    ~K

  8. #8
    Rockwulf's Avatar Negatory
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    Default Re: The stairs are evil, stomp at your own risk

    Nope, I'm reasonably coordinated.

  9. #9
    mystoo's Avatar Pirate Hooker
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    Default Re: The stairs are evil, stomp at your own risk

    Well, it's good to know I'm not the only one with mystery bruises. And yes, I have this bathroom door that like to attack me on a regular basis.

  10. #10
    Mr Karl's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: The stairs are evil, stomp at your own risk

    I've beaten my house into submission.............It's realized that my ways better

  11. #11
    keiko's Avatar baker of geekery
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    Default Re: The stairs are evil, stomp at your own risk

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Karl
    I've beaten my house into submission.............It's realized that my ways better

    Teach me.

    ~K

  12. #12
    nathanmbailey's Avatar Batteries not included
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    Default Re: The stairs are evil, stomp at your own risk

    I just avoid it all by not having furniture other than a bed and a wall locker. It saves a lot of pain.

    My mom's house seems to have a mysterious disappearing step on the back porch. I was drunk and missed it then stumbled down the big huge fucking retarded ditch in the back yard that goes down to this little river and stuff. But, I didn't spill my beer.

    Oh, and I get mysterious cuts on my hands and arms. I'm pretty sure they're from work, but they never seem to show up until the next day. And I'm talking about cuts that bleed, not just scrapes.

  13. #13
    mystoo's Avatar Pirate Hooker
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    Default Re: The stairs are evil, stomp at your own risk

    Quote Originally Posted by nathanmbailey
    But, I didn't spill my beer.

  14. #14
    Mr Karl's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: The stairs are evil, stomp at your own risk

    actually my house is acting up today..................well, looks like saturday's booked

  15. #15
    Iggyisdead's Avatar boo-urns
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    Default Re: The stairs are evil, stomp at your own risk

    Quote Originally Posted by VoltaireBlue
    I've caught my hip on doorknobs. it thouroghly sucks.
    Oh god does it ever!!!

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