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Thread: Sexual Abuse 2K5

  1. #1
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    Default Sexual Abuse 2K5

    For those of us abused at a young age sexuality and really anything sexual is a bit of a fight. One has to face the shame, confusion, and problems it raises as you get older and wonder about what caused it all and in some cases...will you grow up to abuse others?

    For me it's been a tough road since I had multiple abusers growing up...some were only a few years older than me while another was one of my grade school teachers. I never told anyone till I was well past 18 and being in my mid 20's now...I'm only now really facing it. Thing is all I've read on it does not bring me much comfort or understanding. It's either overly emotional like a lifetime movie or overly critical and fear inducing. When you're introduced to sex in an unhealthy way as a kid you never quite know how wrong it is till you're older though you FEEL it's wrong as a kid. For me it was like being guilty...only it never ended. When I hit my early 20's I got over some of it but found I missed the guilt. Why I missed it made no sense but a series of very self destructive acts followed to regain that guilt. All of it rather silly in hindsight. I never became like the beasts that abused me...I never graduated to that level of being what is now called a "sexual predator" but I understood them all too well. That to be blunt scared the royal fuck out of me. It's not a fun feeling to close your eyes and see your abusers and go "I know why you did what you did". It makes you feel awfully close to them and makes one wonder how far removed you really are. Statistics show that those abused do abuse others. Thing is as you grow up you see ALL your sexual maturity in a rather two toned light. On one hand it is typical and normal...on the other you wonder if you are acting out like those who abused you. That sense of questioning can really fuck with your head even if you're not doing anything to harm another.

    Nowadays though the net has made sexual abuse of minors pretty easy to find if like some officers say "You know what to look for." it scares me these are the people protecting kids...cause they sure as fuck didn't protect me. There is so much talk about downloaders and potential sexual predators...and no talk about those who actually commit the crimes. Mainly cause it's easy to prosecute some idiot with 5000 images of kid porn but not a guy who actually abuses 1 kid. That's not a comforting thought to me...it makes masterbation more criminal than actual molestation. Worse part is that as a victim it can get worse because if you're like me you don't curl up into a ball and cry...you act out and get viciously mad. Without a doubt I visualized those who abused me many a time in ways that surprised me...they became the center of my rage. Not looking like a cliche victim really didn't help since as a teen how do you admit that you were abused to somebody? A sexual abused woman at least has other women who can relate to it and the material related to it is epic. Hell some of my favourite riot grrl bands of the 90's had songs dedicated to it. You don't quite have that as a boy or a teen boy...being abused really does make you feel like less of a man...for a very very long time in ways that are not fully aware to one at the time.

    In my second year of college or so I passed my local home depot and too my utter shock I saw the teacher that abused me in grade school with his kids and wife...I cannot describe how hard it was not to get out of the car and beat him to death in the middle of the street. What I hated about him so much is that all the kids in my class loved him cause he let them pretty much do as he wished...not being too popular or a grand student really didn't help me feel I had an voice to talk to about it. So having all that flood back gave me a really good shot of rage that moment...somehow I floated down the road and went home.

    For about six months I didn't leave my apartment. Just locked myself away trying to figure it all out. When I thought I had it all straight in my head...something would pop in my head and fuck it all up again. Even now I still struggle with trying to make sense of my abusers and how I see sex and sexuality. Things have not gotten easier as one I am quite close too was ***** two years back and the anger it enduced really has not left me...it's like being on a knife of self destruction and anger. Whiel I only have a handful of days like that they are enough to bug me cause I don't feel like myself. I fond myself wanting to understand and see what these people see when they hurt others in such ways. Is it abandonement of reason for pleasure? Is the answer in those ungodly long psyche profiles? Why can't all these government and police resources do anything about it? All they seem to stop are people after they commit their acts...and why is the video taped exploitation and abuse such a pandora's box? As taboo as it is...it's just a vision of hell that those who;ve experienced understand too well and those who haven't...never do. I mean never. You can study sexual abuse all you want but unless you were abused you'll never understand the mind fuck it does to you.

    Thing is I'm too old to be a victim, too smart to be a killer or abuser, and too far from the cliched abused child to get much attention...I thought I was alone in this odd profile but it seems many fall into this as each year passes. What's one to do? Break down and have a good cry? Finally squeeze that trigger? or maybe just accept one got (literally) fucked over and move on?

    I know others have had first hand experience with all this...so I'm curous about your thoughts on it all. How did you deal? How DO you deal? and more importantly...has the torment of it all left you?

    Sorry for the downer of a story and topic but for some odd reason I just had to write it.

  2. #2
    Forestghost's Avatar Knowlege is power!
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    Default Re: Sexual Abuse 2K5

    *hugs*

    The fact that you had to see that prick with his wife and kids is truly terrible. I can only imagine the rage you must have felt. The memory of what happened will haunt you forever, but it is the ability to have control over it that will help you deal. By not going and beating him to death, you exercised powerful control which not only showed your ability to understand that nothing you do today will change what happened back then, but also that you have the will to live. If you didn't care about your own life, then you would have gone ahead and taken your revenge.

    When I say that this will never leave you, I don't mean it to be a downer, just a comment. You ask "what's one to do?"...I say yes, break down and cry, and yes, face acceptance (no matter how hard it may be). But acceptance doesn't have to be forgiveness....don't play down what happened to you, just know that you will never have to face that again.

    Prevention is next to impossible. I have read about tonnes of psychology experiments that are conducted with the hope of being able to predict and prevent abusive behavior. The hard part is, we just can't know who will do it. And people will continue to be hurt and humiliated. The important thing is to help those who have been attacked. A way for some people to deal with what happened to them, is to help others. *shrugs* But that only works for some people.

    I don't know what advice I can give you, none I guess. All I can hope is that you never loose control over your life. What happened then, happened. And it hurts, but keep control over NOW....enjoy life NOW....and remember that you are better than the people who did this to you...!

  3. #3
    nyar's Avatar The Crawling Chaos
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    Default Re: Sexual Abuse 2K5

    [/QUOTE]I know others have had first hand experience with all this...so I'm curous about your thoughts on it all. How did you deal? How DO you deal? and more importantly...has the torment of it all left you?
    [/QUOTE]
    Ok- you covered a lot of shit- but Im just gonna try and deal with this last sentence of yours-
    all that happened will always be a part of you- we all know that- Of course you're going to hate these bastard- thats natural- everyone would- most of us are hating them just reading your story- but you can't carry that around with you. Bad energy is just that- BAD- bad for you, bad for those around and bad for your life in general- you have to move on- Yes, thats way easier said than done.
    But-
    you "sound" smart, and the fact that you're actually making it in life without letting this consume your every thought and ruin your days, says, to me, that you're also strong. Despite what has happened you've still formed your own thoughts of right and wrong- don't doubt yourself. (im strting to ramble)
    I was lucky- Im an artist, so I had/have my art to work things out in, so
    my advice- if I may- is simply to find an outlet- whats done is done, even kicking the shit out of that motherfucker wouldn't change that- and any relief it gave would only be temporary- talk with others who have had similar experiences- every city has some kind of group or several-
    maybe see a councelor- they're not all bad
    maybe if you ever feel up to it- confront these people- I don't mean whup thier ass-but see if they'll talk about it with you-
    these are some things that've helped me and others I know on various levels
    once again- find an outlet-
    hope this helps
    best wishes

  4. #4
    One Eyed Cat's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Sexual Abuse 2K5

    Quote Originally Posted by Tequila Zaire
    For those of us abused at a young age sexuality and really anything sexual is a bit of a fight. One has to face the shame, confusion, and problems it raises as you get older and wonder about what caused it all and in some cases...will you grow up to abuse others?

    For me it's been a tough road since I had multiple abusers growing up...some were only a few years older than me while another was one of my grade school teachers. I never told anyone till I was well past 18 and being in my mid 20's now...I'm only now really facing it. Thing is all I've read on it does not bring me much comfort or understanding. It's either overly emotional like a lifetime movie or overly critical and fear inducing. When you're introduced to sex in an unhealthy way as a kid you never quite know how wrong it is till you're older though you FEEL it's wrong as a kid. For me it was like being guilty...only it never ended. When I hit my early 20's I got over some of it but found I missed the guilt. Why I missed it made no sense but a series of very self destructive acts followed to regain that guilt. All of it rather silly in hindsight. I never became like the beasts that abused me...I never graduated to that level of being what is now called a "sexual predator" but I understood them all too well. That to be blunt scared the royal fuck out of me. It's not a fun feeling to close your eyes and see your abusers and go "I know why you did what you did". It makes you feel awfully close to them and makes one wonder how far removed you really are. Statistics show that those abused do abuse others. Thing is as you grow up you see ALL your sexual maturity in a rather two toned light. On one hand it is typical and normal...on the other you wonder if you are acting out like those who abused you. That sense of questioning can really fuck with your head even if you're not doing anything to harm another.

    Nowadays though the net has made sexual abuse of minors pretty easy to find if like some officers say "You know what to look for." it scares me these are the people protecting kids...cause they sure as fuck didn't protect me. There is so much talk about downloaders and potential sexual predators...and no talk about those who actually commit the crimes. Mainly cause it's easy to prosecute some idiot with 5000 images of kid porn but not a guy who actually abuses 1 kid. That's not a comforting thought to me...it makes masterbation more criminal than actual molestation. Worse part is that as a victim it can get worse because if you're like me you don't curl up into a ball and cry...you act out and get viciously mad. Without a doubt I visualized those who abused me many a time in ways that surprised me...they became the center of my rage. Not looking like a cliche victim really didn't help since as a teen how do you admit that you were abused to somebody? A sexual abused woman at least has other women who can relate to it and the material related to it is epic. Hell some of my favourite riot grrl bands of the 90's had songs dedicated to it. You don't quite have that as a boy or a teen boy...being abused really does make you feel like less of a man...for a very very long time in ways that are not fully aware to one at the time.

    In my second year of college or so I passed my local home depot and too my utter shock I saw the teacher that abused me in grade school with his kids and wife...I cannot describe how hard it was not to get out of the car and beat him to death in the middle of the street. What I hated about him so much is that all the kids in my class loved him cause he let them pretty much do as he wished...not being too popular or a grand student really didn't help me feel I had an voice to talk to about it. So having all that flood back gave me a really good shot of rage that moment...somehow I floated down the road and went home.

    For about six months I didn't leave my apartment. Just locked myself away trying to figure it all out. When I thought I had it all straight in my head...something would pop in my head and fuck it all up again. Even now I still struggle with trying to make sense of my abusers and how I see sex and sexuality. Things have not gotten easier as one I am quite close too was ***** two years back and the anger it enduced really has not left me...it's like being on a knife of self destruction and anger. Whiel I only have a handful of days like that they are enough to bug me cause I don't feel like myself. I fond myself wanting to understand and see what these people see when they hurt others in such ways. Is it abandonement of reason for pleasure? Is the answer in those ungodly long psyche profiles? Why can't all these government and police resources do anything about it? All they seem to stop are people after they commit their acts...and why is the video taped exploitation and abuse such a pandora's box? As taboo as it is...it's just a vision of hell that those who;ve experienced understand too well and those who haven't...never do. I mean never. You can study sexual abuse all you want but unless you were abused you'll never understand the mind fuck it does to you.

    Thing is I'm too old to be a victim, too smart to be a killer or abuser, and too far from the cliched abused child to get much attention...I thought I was alone in this odd profile but it seems many fall into this as each year passes. What's one to do? Break down and have a good cry? Finally squeeze that trigger? or maybe just accept one got (literally) fucked over and move on?

    I know others have had first hand experience with all this...so I'm curous about your thoughts on it all. How did you deal? How DO you deal? and more importantly...has the torment of it all left you?

    Sorry for the downer of a story and topic but for some odd reason I just had to write it.
    I'm glad you wrote it. In answer to your question of how you tell someone, I think you do it exactly as you just did.

    Child abuse and murder had a direct effect on my life. I was never abused personally, so I can not address all your issues. One thing I would like to tell you is you will never attain vengeance. I tried the vigilante approach for years. You end up hurting people in addition to the objects of your rage. You have to purge your emotions. Then, perhaps, you can fight it in a rational manner.

    OEC

  5. #5
    Muzz's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Sexual Abuse 2K5

    I just wanted to let you know that I comprehend the "mind-fuck" sexual abuse does to a person. I know I am all right as of now, but I'm also fearing a potential break down when all my suppressed thoughts on what happened to me re-surfaces. I know one thing is true- you sure as hell don't trust a whole hell of a lot of people after all of that.

    Get it all out while you can. I made the promise to my boyfriend to see a therapist during college because that is an estimated moment when supression becomes unbearable to people.

    I just thought I'd let you know that there's someone in the armpit of America who understands what you're saying.

  6. #6
    Jax's Avatar Stay Down
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    Default Re: Sexual Abuse 2K5

    I wont go into many details, but one way I handled it was shame. I couldnt show my body, let anyone touch me etc. Then I 'lost' my virginity (as Im not sure if it was lost previously...dont ask;[) to someone I thought I was going to be with forever. Not the case, so what was my reaction? I turned into a rebellious slut. I had no feelings for others whom I had sex with, and wouldnt have sex with anyone I cared about. Sex seemed robotic to me, and undesireable, but at the same time it was like I was addicted.

    Now Im with my fiance, and I have to TRY to mix emotion with sex. When we first got together, we were very sexually active. Once it became serious, its like I lost my sex drive. Sometimes I dont know if it was due to my medical problem, leading me to have a partial hysto, or if I really couldnt equate sex with feelings. I can barely touch him, or have him touch me without something triggering me off. Its sad. Im working on it, but its slow.

    *hugs* to you for what you suffered through, and are still suffering through.

  7. #7
    killerkat's Avatar Malice?
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    Default Re: Sexual Abuse 2K5

    Quote Originally Posted by Jax
    I wont go into many details, but one way I handled it was shame. I couldnt show my body, let anyone touch me etc. Then I 'lost' my virginity (as Im not sure if it was lost previously...dont ask;[) to someone I thought I was going to be with forever. Not the case, so what was my reaction? I turned into a rebellious slut. I had no feelings for others whom I had sex with, and wouldnt have sex with anyone I cared about. Sex seemed robotic to me, and undesireable, but at the same time it was like I was addicted.

    Now Im with my fiance, and I have to TRY to mix emotion with sex. When we first got together, we were very sexually active. Once it became serious, its like I lost my sex drive. Sometimes I dont know if it was due to my medical problem, leading me to have a partial hysto, or if I really couldnt equate sex with feelings. I can barely touch him, or have him touch me without something triggering me off. Its sad. Im working on it, but its slow.

    *hugs* to you for what you suffered through, and are still suffering through.
    i've delt with similar, the first girl i was with, we were stuipidly sexualy active,like 20 times in a weekend,yea!, and after we decided this was it,we stayed with the fiencee thing for a long time, and relitivly recently(6very long,painfull months ago),we were torn apart....all lot of stuff happened,life threatning stuff, and now amazingly i fell in love again(not the same though) and it's kinda hard to have the love and sex to intertwine.used to be the 200% opposite with the ol' fiencee.........we're working on it too......im still stuck thinking/hoping one day we'll find each other again..... i hope)........

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Sexual Abuse 2K5

    Being mentally, sexually, and physically abused from age 2-10 and mentally semisexually abused from age 11-16. Only being away from it a full fledged 2 years, has definately left me a little messed up.

    I don't get counseling because they beat into your head that you are a victim. How is that supposed to make you feel any better about yourself? Counseling didn't seem to do anything, but make things worse for me. Every counselor I have been to has told my mother that there is no hope for me and they advised her to stop paying for their services. Sadly, a lot of children have this happen to them growing up and I think the numbers are growing.

    I was sent to foster care at age 10 for three months, after the mother of my sister's friend had been told that her daughter was molested by my mother's new boyfriend (which was molester #2). The girl wasn't and was just playing around. Her mother asked my sister and I to spend the night and the next thing we know, we are being taken to a courthouse to talk to a caseworker. I will never forgive that woman for doing what she did because foster care was worse than living at home. I don't know anyone who has had a good experience with it. My sister and I were slave labor for 3 months in the summer. Someone had sex in the same bedroom as us. They lied to our caseworker about everything we did and said. They threatened us many times. It was just horrible. They took me to a gynocologist for the first time for a papsmear and the Dr. was a male hick and they wouldn't let my own sister come in the room with me. I was held down on a table against my will by three strangers and I didn't even know what was going to happen to me.

    The man that I want revenge on so badly, is rumored dead. He has molested at least 4 other children, one being a boy. He was the first one to do such things to me. My sister and I were going to prosecute him when she turned 18. Sadly, that day never came. She died at age 15 in a car accident. The last time I saw this man was at her funeral. I was so angry. It took everything in myself plus three people holding me back to keep from attacking him when I saw him on the FAMILY'S SIDE of the room at her funeral. The man my sister and I most hated dared coming. I was only 12 years old at that time.

    I spoke out against this guy at age 4. The man threatened my life many times and killed many of my pets to show what would happen to me and my family. I was brave enough to speak out against him despite the threats and my sister's pleas to not say anything. The caseworkers told my parents I was lying because their ever so smart method to get me to speak out was to say what happened to me right in front of him while he had a knife in hands preparing dinner. My mother believed them until she witnessed it herself only 3 days later. There is an example of small town, Midwestern justice for you.

    I still have nightmares about that man. I don't know how to get rid of them. It has definately altered my sexualtiy. I am over experienced for my age and it brings guilt to me sometimes to the point of crying. It hurts me and the one I love most. I have flashbacks from time to time and it can really tear a relationship apart if you're with someone who doesn't understand(but you don't want or need to be with someone who doesn't) That man, his brother, and my family ruined my life. I guess the best way to not feel guilty is to realize that it's in your past and you're with someone better (if that is the case.) Another sexual problem I have dealt with before, is that I have felt that in order to be loved I had to have sex. I know this is wrong and sometimes when I'm not scared to death of sex, it's seems to be all that I know.

    I have also found that in some families, one parent of the abused child was also abused. My mother was abused from age 6 up until she moved away from home. My grandfather died when she was 6. She was the youngest out of 7 children. My grandmother's brothers started coming around and she didn't do anything when she witnessed it. She just walked away. My grandmother never taught her children self respect, but to do whatever a man wanted because women were nothing but trophies for men. Naturally, my mother and her 4 sisters had sex with 30 and 40 year old men when they were only 14 or 15 year old. It wasn't until much later, they realized what the world was really like and that times had changed. When my mother saw what was happening in front of her eyes, it brought flashbacks to her. My mother was beaten many times trying to defend me and my sister. Despite all the times he was arrested for beating her, she kept bailing him out because the threats he had made scared her into doing so. She was trying to protect her family, but was only putting them in more danger. I have to at least give her credit for giving a damn.

    I too, want to have children and it could also be my greatest fear. I get nervous around children sometimes because I am terrified of becoming accused. I love children and could never think of doing something like that. It still makes me very nervous. My boyfriend has two little boys. One is six and the other is one. He doesn't have custody of them right now and they live in Utah, so I haven't got to meet them yet. I just hope that if/when I have a child or when we get custody of his children (whichever comes first), that I can love and care for them and not be too over protective. I will be especially scared if I have a little girl.

    I'm sorry that this is so long, I probably included some things that some of you don't care to know. I can't offer much advice because I am new to this myself. Right now, all that has really started to help the healing process for me is that I moved 10 1/2 hours away from there. I have limited contact with family. I only visit when I feel I have to and most importantly, I surround myself with people that love me and make me feel like I'm worth something. I don't think I'd be living right now if it weren't for those people and I thank them with all my heart.

  9. #9
    TheDeathKnight's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Sexual Abuse 2K5

    I have been around quite a few people who have been through abusive situations as children, and one of the saddest things, is that if you are a child, learning about the world, you assume that an abusive life is the way life is, and the way things are supposed to be. It's really hard to realize that life is not supposed to be that way, and that life can be something else. It's the same syndrome I see with teens in high-school, still living at home, etc. They hate their life, because it sucks. And I agree, that it sucks. But that is not what life is like. Life does not have to be lame. It can be cool, and fun, and normal. One of the best things people can do, is spend time with people who are cool, and fun, and normal, and who live in the way you would like to live. And learn how they do it. Learn how they think. See how they act. Learn that life can be something else. People often fall victim to predators over and over, because as a victim, they show signs of being a victim. A good example happened the other day, with two female friends of mine. This guy was being really aggressively flirtatious to one of them, but not to the other. One of them was very passive, and would let him touch her and mess with her. The other one has a tough attitude, and the guy did not mess with her at all. If that guy was a rapist, or an abuser, I know exactly which one he would attack. The one who is quiet, and passive. Because she seems like the type who would not make a fuss, not say anything, etc. But the other girl would probably bite his balls off. The more aggressive girl was telling the more passive girl later, that the reason the guy kept messing with her, is because she never said no, and never told him he had no right to touch her. But he could tell, without even trying, that the more aggressive girl would not allow a stranger to touch her without permission. I also noticed that the guy never touched any of the other girls. Just the passive one. So I may be guessing here, but I bet that passive girl is used to people doing things to her, and is used to the habit of keeping quiet about it. And predators can pick up on that, the same way they can tell the people they should not mess with.

    As far as how to get over it, I have no clue.
    I would guess the best way is to just accept it as something that happened,
    and it was in the past, and just try to move on to the future, without repeating
    the bad behaviors and patterns you had in the past. Just go on with life as
    a normal person. Because under the surface, and despite the bad experiences,
    we are all normal people, cool people. We all have bad experiences. But just
    look at it like any other bad thing in the past. Like a broken arm, or a bad
    relationship. You can get over it, and try to move on, and try to do better
    in future situations. But you do not have to dwell on it, or keep thinking
    about it. It was in the past. It was bad, and lame, but move on to the future...
    Live a life that *you* want to live, and that makes *you* happy.
    Forget about the lame shit in the past.
    People do shit to you, because they are idiots, and they are messed up
    themselves. You can't change the fact that there are fucked up people
    in the world. But you can try to make your life a good and happy one...

  10. #10
    Drakken's Avatar Self Proclaimed Deity
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    Default Re: Sexual Abuse 2K5

    I often wonder how I'd react if I ever saw this one girl again..
    I saw someone who looked like her once on a train and I had to change cars.. I felt physically sick.

  11. #11
    bre.star's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Sexual Abuse 2K5

    Wow some of these stories are aweful. *Hugs* I'm sorry all of you had to go through such traumatic experiences. I've been sexually abused twice in my life and it's something really hard to deal with... I pretty much have tried to let it go and understand that these people are disgusting sick perverts. I think I've dealt pretty well with it, although its really hard to trust people in sexual situations..

    Tequila when you say it disturbs you that you understand how they think, I know where you are coming from. You know what, it just means you have a strong mind and you are able to walk around in other people's shoes and understand where they are coming from. Just because you've been able to psychologically analyse yourself and your abusers is nothing to be disgusted about, it means you are absolutely intellegent! I'm not saying to forgive these people, because I don't care what people say about how forgiveness sets you free, these people do not deserved to be forgiven in my personal opinion, but understanding them is the 2nd best way to in a sense "forgive" them.

    I guess I've pretty much grown up in a family where we have always been aware of child molesters (there were a lot of sick child molesters in my family, thankfully none of which molested me) and it's made a lot of the people in my family crazy... and then when something happened to me i felt really guilty that i couldn't control it even though in a sense i could have... I didn't tell anyone. I was just too embarressed, and I was extremely angry. I was really angry because the first time it happened to me was when I was soo young and innocent and nieve and had never even had my first kiss, and it was a 22 year old girl who was doing it...she gave me my first kiss and it still to this day disgusts me...Bleh it's bringing back emotions thinking about these things. I too saw this girl again a few years later, and I felt disgusted...she even had the nerve to come up and talk to me. I saw what a friggin sick perverted weirdo she was and it kind of gave me comfort because I knew that she was really missing a screw in her head and it wasn't my fault and it was nothing to be guilty about. She is sick and messed up and I was a victim.

    I know this is silly, but I was watching Oprah the other day and they were talking about how in parts of the congo in Africa, woman are gang ***** by the military ALL the time on a daily basis. It was really shocking and sad, but then I was thinking, people in america are ***** all the time on a daily basis. I don't care how "civilized" our country is, we really have issues as well. So many child molesters and rapist are out there and usually there is no way to proove their guilt. They are roaming free and fucking up peoples minds and lives and it's sick and it's wrong.

    Just remember, that which does not kill you only makes you stronger. All these sickening experiences in life will make you sooo much a better person. I don't understand why they say most abused children turn out to be abusers, you think they would never want anyone else to feel the pain they went through. Nobody has to become a statistic because of a stupid statistic, you are who you are, and if you're not a sexual abuser then you are not.

    I guess the problem I have now with sexual abuse is that I am sooo scared of having a husband and finding out that he is molesting my babies. I mean, can you imagine?... I mean even seemingly "normal" people who you think you know inside and out and trust enough to marry could turn out to be molesting your children...

  12. #12
    Senior Member
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    Default Re: Sexual Abuse 2K5

    Quote Originally Posted by bre.star
    Just remember, that which does not kill you only makes you stronger. All these sickening experiences in life will make you sooo much a better person. I don't understand why they say most abused children turn out to be abusers, you think they would never want anyone else to feel the pain they went through. Nobody has to become a statistic because of a stupid statistic, you are who you are, and if you're not a sexual abuser then you are not.
    That is true and not true at the same time in a sense. I think some people end up being raised that it's okay to do that. So, when they grow older and somehow never figure it out, they end up doing it too. I don't think it's a good excuse or anything, but I think it happens. I think the families that these people are raised in are sick. I think nowadays, this will become less likely because of all the awareness out there.

    Quote Originally Posted by bre.star
    I guess the problem I have now with sexual abuse is that I am sooo scared of having a husband and finding out that he is molesting my babies. I mean, can you imagine?... I mean even seemingly "normal" people who you think you know inside and out and trust enough to marry could turn out to be molesting your children...
    I feel for you there. My father, luckily never did anything like that to me. He was always very distant. I can only imagine how my mother felt when she discovered what was going on in front of her face. I mean she divorced my father and got with this other man that she thought would take care of her and her children. Only to be sucked into a very abusive relationship.

    I would never be able to forgive myself if I let something like that happen to my own children.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Sexual Abuse 2K5

    I have also gone through some similar types of Sexual Abuse, and still do sometimes, so I kind of know what you mean, sort of, since each case is different, but the paranoia is still there. Thats part of why I hate being around most guys. **

  14. #14

    Default Re: Sexual Abuse 2K5

    damn... this thread is increasing my rage...

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