That's SO gay!

[Tequila Zaire]

We've all heard that statement in recent years. You can take it as you wish...a "harmless" insult common amoung teeen boys or a critique about something that has stereotypical gay qualities.

Personally I think it's a heavily misued statement that is far more malicious than harmless. But more then that it comes from people who seem to not understand what it is to be gay, gay culture, or how it could be seen as harmful...more importantly though they can't seem to make the connections between their behaviour and those they call "gay".

Now while usually it's not said in a manner that the person thinks you ARE gay it is strange that people should still feel offended by it given those that love to use that insult so much.

One guy I knew that loved to call everyone "fag" in H.S. was your typical large bully type who always wore WWF shirts (now the WWE cause people I guess thought it was real and not entertainment.) Now I could never take this guy seriously cause he always had shirts with overly muscular men in their underwear on them and fanatically followed it like my aunt follows day time soaps. Same with hip hop junkies who liked to spout in when they too idolized men who not only proudly wore jewelry and dressed well...but were color co-ordinated.

This surreal reality where the things they THINK make a person gay is what they enjoy and admired really confused me for years and I still can't get my head around some elements of it. Do any of you think that all these negative gay stereotypes of old are not slowly becoming the standard many men and women aspire too? When the whole Mod thing came back and the whole Emo scene took off I really found it odd to see guys STILL insult each other with "That's so gay of you" or "Fucking fag" when they were the embodiment of the stereotype they so hated.

Now this is leaving out friendly joking around amoung friends...I'm talking stranger on stranger insults and the kind rampant intimidation you see in schools with less than "progressive" ideas about Gays.

So how do you all see this odd contradiction of gay stereotypes and insults with the reality of modern masculinity?

[Smudge Doll]

Damn Cell i just wrote a huge agreement and it got erased but i agree

[ForrestBlack]

Damn Cell i just wrote a huge agreement and it got erased but i agree

Ok, sorry about that. I think people sometimes pressed the 'Post Reply' button, instead of 'Submit Reply' below, so I went ahead and changed the 'Post Reply' to be a little more clear. Hopefully that will help in the future.

[Smudge Doll]

Sory on my cell i
cant see every link properly ill try 2 limit using my cell but i
dont have a computer avaliable at this point in time

[franziska]

I think the vision of masculinity's changed a lot over the past few years. Guys who wear eyeliner are less often called "fag", and there's that new thing, too - metrosexual, I think is what it's called. Yeah, there are still a lot of insults thrown around, especially by people from certain groups of people. I don't mean to stereotype, but I find that people who try to emulate their favourite rapper are more homophobic.

It has, however, become largely more acceptable for guys (especially teenagers) to do any number of things that would have previously been considered gay. I think calling people "fag" or saying "that's so gay" have just become engrained in our culture. I most definitely don't approve of that, and I try to stop it where I can. I don't agree that people are still not open to homosexuality. It's hard to find people at my school who are openly homophobic.

[23*]

excuse me if i'm wrong but isn't society becoming more and more feminised?!?

Five years time they're gonna be telling me to shave my legs too.

[TheDeathKnight]

It's all about the intent.
The same thing goes for the "N" word.
If you have black friends, or gay friends, and you use those words jokingly,
and without malice, I see no problem with it.

You can totally tell when someone is saying that shit,
and they are actually anti-gay, anti-black, etc...

So I think it's fine for gay people, black people, to get pissed when people
say that shit, and are saying it in a lame way. But if it is all in fun, and
no one means any harm in it, then let it go, laugh at it, etc...

[OliX]

@ 23* isn't society becoming more and more feminised?!?
No, it's not.

It's just less diferences between gender.

[Shadow]

yeah Im with you.. Im gay well a lesbian and its fine when people are just playin but sometimes they take the whole gay thing to far people should keep in minde that you can only push some one so far we all have fellings and different things effect us in different ways you just really need to know when to stop...

[CPRB]

actually gay means to be with most physical joy as to bring dance or laughter immediatley and queer is cause by uneasines or the eating of bad food as in a queer stomach or a queer head or a headache, as anything everything for peolpe has to have label to define it and usually it is poorley done. be it culture or art. and if people don't want to be called gay and are gay or lesbain what do the want want to be called? I am guessin' thier proper given name as in Bo or jane or ted or lula....as in much of culture these days people don't want labels or subcultures yet they cling to them stead fast when it suits them to some social advantagae be it punk gay goth artsy or hippy but at the same time will make great strides to not make afuss of it. I really am vexed buy all this. I don't give a hoot if yer gay or lesbian..er the lesbian part maybe especially if yer cute....but on the whole and whole I am kinda sick of it if yer a good smart intelligent person then thats what you are you are not gay nor black nore jew, yer a person that thinks and feels. We all are.....but we can also be terribley stupid and insecure as well.Just a sec I have major heart burn....I need a freaking Rolaid before I continue...ok where was I? Yes, ok...we all hear and say things that at times are un acceptabel and should be pointed out but no one does it so it goes uncheked but lets look at this closer lets say your are a lil overwieght and somone is talking about fat perosn they saw and it's in a demeaing way....you could say look I know maybe you find fat people hard to look at or maybe the fear of being unhealthy mortifies you with fear even though i may be no as fat as that person I still feel uncomforatble with what you are saying because even though I am in your company I feel at unease with your views and insecure that you may judeg me without out fair due. Same thing with the gay comment if you found it offensive then say so if you are truly happy with the person you are you should find no shame in explaing your feelings and accepting the fact that more then likely these peole will not be so wanting of your aqauintance which altruistically is thier loss not yours. You sttod strong for your feelings and beliefes and you did it with takc and respect for the person speaking. I do take offense to any person that harps or pines about their sitaution that they have, be it choosen or born. we all have our own little griefs and a world full of pained mouths. Often statemesnt are made out of the pain of intellectual lazyness and apain at an inabilty to have empathy so in a way that person is just as hurt as you. You bcause of the lack of empathy and them becasue of alck of knowledge or understanding as well as empathy. I dunno if I made sense or not. and back to the earlier thing about the standing up for yourself....eventually people are going to get lonely and wanting of interaction and will think of thier views so trhe can socialize more freely and maybe the dialect people use will change so more scoializin will be done and less lonlyness....anyhow I have been called alot of nasty things and yeah it can hurt and at time not be nice...but that perosn is hurt in some way to say it and they don't even know it.

[23*]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4190699.stm

[Forestghost]

People are afriaid of what they don't understand. Racial stereotypes have decreased largely because the world is more multicultural and people have a better understanding of what having a different color of skin really means (in effect, nothing but having a different color of skin)

Now that homosexuality has become more open and talked about, some people are slightly more understanding and accepting. However, unlike multiculturalism, homosexuality isn't commonly experienced by people who aren't gay or lesbian....so gaining a better understanding of that lifestyle is hard. A person can go to China or Africa, and experience the culture, and speak with the people, and learn that the color of their skin doesn't matter.
Most people aren't willing to perform a sexual act they are uncomfortable with, just to gain a better understanding of the people who chose that lifestyle.

So, people label others and namecall because they are afraid or don't understand that type of person. I think we should look at the people who say things like "that's so gay" and feel bad for them. Feel bad because of their ignorance and unwillingness to even consider the possiblility that being homosexual isn't wrong.

[Morning Glory]

yeah, it's just a word. when does politcally correctness outweigh freedom of speech? I mean sure it's not cool to go out of your way to be a total fucking asshole, but you shouldn't have to watch everything you say so that you don't offend the most uptight minority. like some people would be offended by me saying "f**king a**hole" but since this is an adult board with adult content should I not be able to say it for that reason?
the only kind of people that are offended by the word "gay" are people that are ignorant and closed minded. I say "gay" and "fag" all the time because I don't associate those words of negativity with people. I'm the biggest advocate of homosexuality and anti-discrimination that I know, so am I an insenstvie hatemonger when I say those things? no. because I don't look at this guy and say well he's a homosexual. don't you see how doing that is degrading him allready? let people just be people, and not black white, gay straight, whatever. and let words just be words. actions speak louder than words. let those represent us.

[nyar]

Racial stereotypes have been decreased?- um, Nova scotia is another country, right? Cause I know here in the good ol' USofA, they're alive and kicking- breeding quicker than drunk tornado-bait.
As for the GAY thing- NO- I definitely don't think america is becoming more "feminized"- I just don't see that at all. If anything I see the opposite, people trying more and more to segregate or identify with whatever group, clique, party, lifestyle, religion, or race they can. I think because of gays not being such a hidden thing anymore and fighting for thier rights and stuff- hetro-america(by this I mean the homo-phobes, or anti-homos) feel they need to assert thier sexuality, views, opinions(whatever guise they wish to give it) more than ever before.
I don't think all people who say "thats so gay" mean it in a derogatory way(all the time), even though they may be using it to mean something negative.(yes- I realize thats a slightly contradictory sentence) And I don't think gays need should get so offended by it, its just ... just... so gay!!!

[KilLAtomiK]

"Ooo! You kised a girl! That is so gay!"

--Jimbo from the simpsons

[KilLAtomiK]

do people even use the word gay to indicate happines anymore?

[adorn_shadow]

I did a few days ago abd some dude said that was gay. lol

[bre.star]

i always say it... and you know what i picked up on the habbit from gay guys! they are the ones that say it mostly!! the few friends i have, most of them are gay guys and they say it and i ask them if it bothers them and they really dont care. this one girl at my school was like, "OMG that is SOOO LESBIANISH!!!" and then she looked at me like oops... I think she thinks I'm a lesbian, but whatever i honestly dont care about that stuff..."thats so lesbian" and "thats so fag" is not as cute though as "thats so gay".... i will continue to say thats so gay out of habbit, but never in a mean way because I LOVE GAY PEOPLE!

[CPRB]

Omg That Is Straight!!! Te Heeee